Referring to a policy of allowing aircraft belonging to any country to fly over an area, without restrictions on surveillance of military installations.
* * *
My ears become already attuned with the sound of screams and cries, and of the exasperated breathing and those that slows down and finally stops. My eyes become accustomed as well to the sight of too much blood from missing limbs or a series of shrapnel wounds, the gruesome burns of skin and flesh almost deep to the bone, and the pain and anguish visible on the faces of every wounded and the dead. And my heart already turns cold and hard at every plea of them asking to be saved, saying that they don't want to die just yet and when knowing how grave their injuries are, all I can do is to let them hold on to me as minutes or even seconds alone, they breath their last; the action itself almost turning me to some sort of a priest.
Somehow, the bombing subsides. But it didn't stop the onslaught of the wounded being brought in as those who are able manage to recover them just now. It seems like those flying American and Filipino planes manage to wear them off, or the Japanese realized that their fuels are about to run out than be provoked at all. But it didn't shake away my fear about the sound of planes any longer; that when a few manages to land on other flat lands of Zablan airfield than on the destroyed concrete runway, I flinch in hearing their presence.
My eyes are drawn to the view of where I can hear the sound of the last of the planes landing comes from, and I am starting to be fearful of the possibility that I'll end up being traumatized by anything related to it by now or I—
I almost jump and instantly swivel my head when I feel someone touches me by the shoulder. I am not the only one who seems to be so surprised by the action, that even the one who've cautiously approached me do so.
It is Lt. Florencio Flores. I know him even beyond the Sixth Pursuit Squadron as he is also on the same class as César during their flight training; hence, I know that they are close pals, too. Right now, as if surprised with how I've reacted, he stands a foot away from me and has his hands raised. He is wearing one of those flight suits that are lighter that didn't restrict them from most of their movements. However, it isn't as pristine as I think of it will be; for his flight suit is marked with blood, too. For him to be standing perfectly fine, I can already hint that it isn't his. And so, he speaks up another time, "Ah. Pasensya na kung nabigla kita, (Y/N). Pero kanina pa rin kita tinatawag at hindi ka sumasagot, kaya..."
I lower my gaze and says, "P-Pasensya na. Paniguradong sa dami ito ng iniisip ko."
He sighs heavily and crouches low in front of me. "Naiintindihan ko. Pero, (Y/N)..." He turns to the soldier right next to me, whose hand I've allowed to hold on to me as I can offer no more than my presence to him upon diagnosing that applying first aids is not enough as he is in need of an expert's surgery with too many shrapnel that are buried on his stomach and chest. "You can now let go of him."
I then turn to the patient myself, and find the dullness and blank stare in his open eyes. The absence of light on them as his face no longer shows too much pain with whatever he is feeling back then makes it clear that Death had taken him already. I don't know when, and seeing it firsthand throughout this raging war, it is no longer a surprising matter to find normalcy at the sight of it.
Florencio slowly reaches out to me, closing his own bloody hands around that of mine and pulling me away from the deceased's. He also helps me stand up as if I will stumble from where I am right now.
"Ah," I tell him. "Hindi ko... Hindi ko napansin na..."
He sighs heavily before looking on at the surrounding mixture of blood and gunpowder and burn on where we are right now. "Napansin kita kanina na dumating kasama ang iba pang mga nars. Hindi ko akalain na pupunta ka rito dahil noong tinanong ka namin kay César, sabi niya na kasama mo raw ang kanyang mga magulang at kung nanaisin mo man na tumulong ay sinabihan ka raw niya na manatili sa PGH. Kaya, noong una, hindi ako makapaniwala na nandito ka nga. Ang natatanggi sa medical team ng Sixth Pursuit Squadron na nandito samantalang ang iba ay nasa Batangas, nag-aabang pa lamang sa hudyat ng digmaan doon."
Hindi niya kailangan sabihin sa akin na ako ang nauna sa mga nars ng Sixth Pursuit Squadron na nasabak kaagad sa kaguluhan na ito, I ponder. Dahil wala namang dapat ipagmalaki tungkol doon. Pero...
"Nabanggit mo si César," I start, and suddenly, all buried emotions of worry burst out of me. After almost being an empty body, like a soulless doll, the mention of César instantly makes me alive; though in fear and anxiety. "Nasaan siya? Ayos lang ba siya? Nandito ba siya sa Zablan o—"
"Nandito siya, (Y/N)," interrupts Florencio before scratching his head. "Kaya rin kita linapitan ngayon dahil paniguradong mas kailangan niyo magkita na kaagad, kaysa mamaya niya pa malaman sa iba na nandito ka. Sa tingin mo ba magagalit siya sa iyo kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol dito?"
I gulp in hard. I know that he'll be angry, after how many times he asked me to listen and follow his heed. However, witnessing this immense chaos and pain and death... I believe I am much needed here than anywhere else at the moment. I answer, "Nasaan siya, Florencio? Nasaan si César?"
* * *
Before ushering me to where César and the others may be, he asks me to come with him in washing our hands, arms and faces, at least. There's nothing we can do regarding how bloody our clothes may be right now but having our skins clean are indication that the blood isn't ours at all. And on the way, I focus on his words instead than at the view that surrounds us in our wake.
"Pinatawag siya ni Kapitan Villamor na mapabilang sa mga nag-patrol sa may Bataan kaninang alas otso. Kasama nila sila Juliano, Aclan, Aranzaso at Mondigo," he explains. "Bumalik si Gozar ng mga alas nwebe tapos sinabi niya na may namataan sila na mga squadron ng Hapon kaya... Alam mo na ang nangyari."
Kaya nga sila ang tinaguriang the 'envy of everyone who has wings' sa PAAC, dahil hindi lang sila basta-bastang squadron; they are meant to be on pursuits, trained for aerial combat. Hence, kung may kalaban sa himpapawid, their goal is to fight up there than just be some reconnaissance and the likes.
"Huwag kang mag-aalala, (Y/N). Nakabalik silang lahat ng walang problema, at nagawa rin nilang paalisin palayo muna ang mga Hapon na iyon. Pero, malamang, hindi pwedeng basta-basta lamang makampante," he adds.
There is barely a hangar that can be seen. I remember the rows of it from before during my stay here, and it is quite troubling and sad to see how much the war had costs us already in just the third day since things escalate this way. And despite the fact that there are still too many people who are able to fight, I can hint the fatigue and stress in them. However, with this latest achievement, I can also see the happiness and celebration in the air that despite having almost outdated planes, the Filipino pilots are not someone that can just be judged so easily to be weak-minded ones.
It is a little struggle to find the said group of pilots who've recently returned in the middle of the pack. But César had been one of the taller ones that it had been quite easy to note where he is among them, even if it is just the crown of his head that I can see. And it didn't take long for me to find him, and for him to also do so.
The surprise in his eyes is evident when the two of us make eye contact, and as if the world freezes around us, he strides to meet me at once, surrounds his hand around my wrist, and excuses the two of us, before dragging me onward to wherever.
He is surely aware that all standing establishments are occupied by the wounded. Hence, he takes me somewhere that is not crowded by others and will definitely be somehow private for him to unleash his anger; because I can sense it on his grip.
I gulp in hard and my hand is starting to go numb that I tug him and say, "C-César, teka lang."
He finally lets me go at once and stops walking, just enough for us to be in a secluded area from the others. Raising his head to the sky, he sighs heavily and I can see how tight his grip on his cloth helmet and goggles had been on his other hand. He keeps his back on me for a second before somehow calming down before facing me. The anger on his eyes is still evident that makes me freeze, but when he speaks up, he is constraining that fire as he asks, "(Y/N)... anong ginagawa mo rito?"
Holding on to my wrist as I try to suppress myself from shaking at this apparent first time that I am seeing how angry César is right now, very much thrown at me, I clear my throat and answer, almost stammering, "K-Kagaya ng sinabi mo, pumunta ako ng PGH. Tapos... noong nandoon ako, naghahanap ng mga volunteers para ma-assign sa mga airfields. At nakilala ako ng isa sa mga sundalo kaya sinama ako at napag-alaman ko na kabilang ako sa mga na-assign dito sa Zablan dahil sa binaba na memorandum."
His brows furrow at once and he sighs another time through gritted teeth before pressing his closed fist gripping his apparel against his hip and his freehand brushes through the strands of his flattened hair. "Pinayagan ka naman nila Mama at Papa umalis? 'Di ba kahapon hindi ka nila pinayagan?"
"Umalis ako ng maaga para hindi ako mapigilan ni Tita," I answer. "Pinayagan naman ako makaalis ni Tito."
He presses his freehand against his face and curses under his breath, "Putangina."
"César..."
"Bakit? Mas maayos na ba ang kalagayan mo ngayon, ha? Kahit hindi mo sabihin sa akin, halata sa boses mo kagabi na hindi ka pa magaling. Tapos kaninang hinawakan ko ang kamay mo, mainit ka. (Y/N)... Hindi kita pinipigilan gawin ang tungkulin mo, pero nagkasundo rin tayo na sisiguraduhin mo munang maayos ang kalagayan mo bago ka tumungo ng ospital para maging isang nars. Hindi 'yong pumunta ka dahil gusto mo lamang; tapos para malaman lang maya-maya na isa ka pa sa mga magiging pasyente!"
"Hindi mo kailangang mag-alala sa akin dahil kaya ko naman, at mas kailangan kong kumilos dahil napansin ko na mas hindi dumadaing ang katawan ko kapag ganoon."
"Tangina. Ano ba, (Y/N)? Ano bang pag-iisip 'yan, ha?!"
"Tangina mo rin!" I counter and lunge at him, trying to push him back by surprise but he didn't seem to be unmoved from where he stands. I breathe in heavily, feeling my eyes becoming watery once more. I am hating this part of me becoming quite too emotional nowadays; and if I cry another time, my cold and headache will worsen, too. I blink them away. "Ano rin ba ang iniisip mo, César, para kalabanin 'yong mga Hapon, kahit na alam mong mas angat ang mga eroplano nila kaysa sa inyo? Ano bang—"
César only stares at me at that, clearly based on his expression that slowly paints away his anger to the one of hurt, that he is telling me if I am seriously asking such question to him right now.
Tanga nga talaga siguro ako, I ponder. To engage against the Japanese planes kahit na talong-talo ang armaments na mayroon sila ay ang job description talaga ng Sixth Pursuit Squadron.
I also suddenly remember that according to Florencio, Capt. Villamor asked for César to be part of the patrol itself. And now that I try to analyze his words last night, I somehow come to a conclusion and ask him instead, "Kagabi mo pa ba alam na kasama ka sa mga mag-papatrol ngayong umaga? Na, panigurado, kahit sabihin natin na hindi niyo alam na makikita niyo ang mga eroplano ng mga Hapon, ay alam niyo rin na mas malaki ang chance na magkaroon ng engagement, ano?"
Any mark of his anger finally vanishes at once as he only looks back at me as he gulps in hard. His silence is answer enough that he is aware of it all.
I scoff. "Pagkatapos ng lahat ng galit mo sa akin, kung anu-ano rin pala ang pinaggagawa mo. Kaya naman pala ang nagawa mo lamang sabihin sa akin kagabi ay ang tanungin ako kung alam ko ba na mahal mo ako. Akala ko na flying lang ang magiging kahati ko, pero maging 'yon din pala ay hindi mas angat kaysa sa akin."
"(Y/N)..."
"You love this country," I tell him. "Not just some sense of loyalty or patriotism. But a love that outweights everything. Tama ako, ano?"
"Yes!" he agrees without any preamble. "Iyon ba 'yong gusto mong marinig sa akin, (Y/N)?"
This selfish part of me hopes that he is lying, and wants to keep him for myself alone and to no one else. I want to own him fully, almost to the point of an unhealthy obsession. But then, I know that the reason behind that love isn't just because it is the right thing to do or it is his duty as a soldier. I know, a part of me understands, that loving this country, that sooner or later will be a war-torn one, is equivalent to ensuring that we have a place to call 'home' at peace in the future.
"Sige, kung 'yon 'yong gusto mong marinig." He nods. "Totoo, simula noong nakita ko si Kapitan Villamor kahapon dito. Sinabihan niya ako na umuwi ako. Kung nasaan ka man, puntahan daw kita. Sa dami raw ng mga piloto ng Sixth Pursuit Squadron, tapos sa konti ng mga eroplanong pwedeng gamitin, hindi ako kawalan. Sige, (Y/N), husgahan mo na lahat ng desisyon ko.
"Baka nga totoo sa perspective mo na hindi kita ganoon kamahal. Na sa kabila ng sinabi sa akin na pwede akong umalis, pinili ko pa rin maparito. Na pinilit ko pa rin si Kapitan Villamor na isama ako sa patrol na iyon, at totoo, alam ko ang tungkol doon kahapon pa. Na kahit alam kong walang-wala ang mga eroplano namin sa mga eroplano ng mga Hapon, pinili pa rin naming lumaban.
"Alam ko na kaagad ang iniisip mo na binabalewala ko lamang ang buhay ko. Siguro iyon nga ang totoo. Siguro, totoo nga talaga na mas pipiliin kong paglingkuran ang Pilipinas, na nangangailangan sa akin ngayon, kumpara sa iyo. Na akala kong makakaintindi sa desisyon kong gawin lamang ang tungkulin ko. Na akala ko... maiintindihan na kaya ko ginagawa ito ay dahil gusto ko ipagtanggol itong bansa natin. Anong sa tingin mo ang magiging buhay natin sa ilalim ng mga Hapon, ha, (Y/N)? Sa tingin mo ba makakatakas tayo sa lahat ng kaguluhan na ito, at magiging maayos ang buhay natin?
"Tapos..." He takes a shaky breath, looks away from me and blinks rapidly.
Despite the blurriness of my own vision, as I unconsciously let my tears fall down my cheeks by now, I know that his anger thrown at me earlier had been intentional, but very much more his anger to himself and that of his pain. In the end, I remain the selfish one not to fully see that he is also hurting. That, even though I know that he doesn't regret any choice of his, if he is given another chance with a different situation, he'll definitely not take this route at all.
"Ako lang ba talaga ang naging sinungaling?" he asks me. "Na maging pagmamahal ko sa iyo ay pinagdududahan mo na rin ngayon? Oo, tinanong kita kagabi kung alam mo ba na mahal kita, at sinabi mo na, oo, alam mo. Tapos ngayon..." He presses a hand against his mouth, as if wielding himself to contain whatever emotion is wanting to be spilled out. "I see... Sige, let's admit it... My life is and will always be for the Philippines. That's the job and duty of a soldier. But, (Y/N)..." He drops his hand and finally dare to look at me; both of us staring at one another with tears on our eyes. "My soul had and will always be yours, (Y/N). Na kahit anong mangyari, walang makakapagbago no'n. Kahit dumating ang panahon na sabihin mo sa akin na hindi ka na naniniwala na mahal kita. Na maging kamatayan ay mahihiya pa, dahil wala siyang makukuha sa akin." He gulps in hard and almost begging, he added, "(Y/N)... Read my heart. Read my soul. You'll know what is the truth."
As expected, my cold and headache are starting to worsen by now because of tears. And I am thankful that I've washed my hands earlier for I try to stop myself from crying right now, failing to do so; because, the truth just so damn hurts.
"(Y/N), my love," César calls for me, ever softly and lovingly. He addresses me to draw closer to him as he has his arms wide open right now, urging me to step in to his embrace.
I shake my head slightly. "M-Madumi ako... Ang dungis-dungis ko na ngayon..."
"I don't care. It's just blood and dirt," he assures me.
And I do so, taking small steps slowly as I myself surround my arms around him before he folds me in his embrace. Both of us are a mess right now as we apologize to one another for the early outburst, telling one another in repeat that we love each other, and that we're just scared of the truth and the possibility of losing one another.
In the end, what will remain as our anchor with all this mess is the comfort of being this close to each other.
* * *
Teaser for the next chapter:
I bite my lower lip. "César..."
"'Wag mo sabihin na hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin sumasagi sa isipan mo ang tungkol doon?"
"Hindi sa ganoon. Alam ko naman na doon din talaga patungo, pero... dapat ba natin pag-usapan ang tungkol doon, lalo na ngayon na may digmaan?"
* * *
A/N: Vote, comment and share! Whatever you do means a lot to me, and I am really wishing for some feedback!
A few list of notes to share!
1. Lt. Florencio Flores was a member of the Sixth Pursuit Squadron who entered the Philippine Army Air Corps Flying School along with Basa, Aclan, Conde and Mondigo as part of Class 1940.
2. On 10 December 1941, the Japanese successfully invaded Aparri and Vigan with forces from Formosa (Taiwan). Group fighter strength had been reduced to about 30 aircraft, with 8 being P-35s. Due to the depleted strength, orders were received from the Far East Air Force (FEAF) Headquarters that pursuit planes were not to be dispatched other than upon orders from HQ. The planes would be employed mainly as reconnaissance aircraft to replace the 2d Observation Squadron, which was made inoperable after being mostly destroyed on the ground. Its remaining planes were unarmed and sitting ducks if attacked.
3. The morning attack on 10 December 1941 was up to debate, as there had been no records of it happening through the journals of the Sixth Pursuit Squadron; though there had been a mention of it by Michel Reich on his book entitled Tempest in the Tropical Paradise, which was based on the exploits of Lt. Thomas Andrew "Tom" Hawkins. According to him, by 08:00, American pilots, along with few from the Sixth Pursuit Squadron—Capt. Jesús Villamor (Storm Eleven), along with Lieutenants Godofredo Juliano (Storm Seventeen), Geronimo Aclan (Storm Fourteen), Alberto Aranzaso (Storm Fifteen), Jose Gozar (Storm Twelve), Antonio Mondigo (Storm Sixteen) and César Basa (Storm Thirteen)—were deployed to patrol toward northwest in South China Sea, over the northern Bataan Peninsula. Over the horizon the group spotted a squadron of incoming aircraft towards their location southwards, heading to Zablan Airfield and Pasig. Capt. Villamor ignored Capt. James Duvall's orders not to engaged the enemies. Lt. Hawkins (Storm Seven) joined the Filipino fighters. They were credited with four kills - one Mitsubishi G3M bomber and three Mitsubishi A6M Zeros; two of them by Villamor himself. Lt. Gozar's guns were jammed that he decided to head back to Zablan Airfield. They agreed to go after the bombers than the fighters.
About the same time, Gen. Basilio Valdes received a call from Pres. Quezon asking him how was the Japanese's attack from yesterday. He said that the United States Army Air Corps lost eighteen B-17s, fifty-three P-40s, from attack yesterday at Clark Airbase and Iba Airfield, and fifty-men were dead and one-hundred fifty men are injured. He also reported that 17th and 21st Pursuit Squadron were patrolling across Lingayen Gulf. After the call, he received another from his wife to inform him that their daughter was sick; before he could even reply, twenty-seven Zeroes passed by before being followed by Filipino fighters. He asked an officer where the bogeys were heading, and was informed that it was heading towards Nichols Airfield or Cavite Naval Yard; and he was informed that Capt. Villamor and the 6th Pursuit Squadron were engaging the enemies.
The 6th Pursuit Squadron landed at Zablan Airfield after two hours of fighting.
4. The authenticity of the aforementioned battle from #3 wasn't even mentioned to the history of the Philippine Air Base nor through the memoirs of Col. Jesús Villamor on his book entitled They Never Surrendered. However, a mention of a battle by noon was credited to have happened.
5. The line "Read my heart. Read my soul." was actually from the Miraculous Ladybug, a French animated series that I and our deceased friend enjoyed watching. The line was derived from the latest last episode, and it was actually a separate reply to two questions of: "What is your wish?" and "What is your sacrifice?" It kind of stuck with me, and had loved the genuine affection behind such answer.
Chapter title: Open-skies. It is definitely like some freedom with limitations. For the chapter, both César and the Reader definitely headed on to doing things that they have decided on despite they have strong objection about each other's decision; there goes their freedom of choice but with an additional criteria or limitation that they've set both of them should remember. Just like the open-skies policy that allows foreign airliners to fly through international airspace all in the prospect that prohibited areas and restricted areas are to be avoided.
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