ASTRID
Last night Mateo told me about his plans to travel through the Northern packs while I was in Norway. His eyes lit up with so much excitement and passion when he spoke about the northern lights, the wilderness and old cultures of the Northern packs, I don’t think I’d seen him so excited before. He looked…youthful.
He never got a chance to experience his traveling dream because Sebastian made him Alpha even before he could pack his bags.
Right now, for the first time I understand the sacrifice Mateo made as I watch my own dreams vanish before my eyes.
Around me roars of protest arise from my father, Aunt Neo, Sebastian and Mateo. Their words of disapproval targeted at Beta Cole hum in my ears as I stare at Bjorn.
His icy blue eyes gleam at me triumphantly. My blood chills and I feel weak at the very idea of being with him. Mateo is my mate and all I want in this world.
Tears pool in my eyes and I look away from Bjorn blinking rapidly.
“I accept.” I say choking through the emotions gripping my throat.
Beta Cole looks at me ignoring my family screaming at him.
“What did you say Luna Astrid?”
Mateo looks down at me from his standing position. His body bristles with rage which turns to shock as he looks at me.
“Astrid?” He questions as I stand keeping my eyes focused on Beta Cole. If I look at Mateo or any of my family I will crumble. I draw on Runa. She urges me forward, encouraging me to make the only choice I have. There is no other.
“Beta Cole, I said I accept the King’s decision. I will complete the bond with my mate.”
I dare not look at my Aunt Neo. I feel her disapproval intensely. Of all my family she has been the one to encourage me the most to pursue my dreams.
Astrid don’t do this. You will not be forced into the bond it’s not right. Mateo links me.
I reach to him and take his hand, still unable to meet his eyes as the tears I’ve been trying to hold back overflow and fall.
“Alpha Mateo you and your mate have much to discuss before sunset today. You and Luna Astrid will meet Alpha Bjorn and this Council at Sunset on the field. At that time Luna Astrid should have been fully mated and marked or the challenge will proceed. You both have a decision to make.” Beta Cole raises his hand to silence any further protest from the council.
Mateo grips my hand tightly glaring at Bjorn as we leave passing his table.
“I’ll see you at sunset.” Bjorn smirk at me with a small wave of his fingers.
Mateo moves so fast he is a blur. Before I can blink the sickening sound of claws meeting flesh echo through the chamber and Bjorn roars in pain and shock snatching his hand back just as I watch in slow motion as blood spurts from his hand. Wet droplets land on my face as I stand frozen watching a half shifted Mateo be held back by Sebastian and Donovan who have appeared out of nowhere. I’m knocked sideways and stagger as they drag a seething, snarling, half shifted Mateo out the chamber while Alpha Trent and Beta Cole hold back a roaring Bjorn who clutches his bleeding hand to his chest.
My eyes look to the floor and bile chokes me as I see two bloody fingers lying there.
My stomach heaves and I hurl, not hearing the soothing words in my ears or feeling the strong but gentle arms around me rubbing my back.
My stomach empty, my pride abandoned on the council floor I’m led away to a side chamber surrounded by my mother and my aunts.
A door closes. I’m pushed into a seat and a glass of water is placed in my hands. Robotically I drink frowning at the taste of vomit tinged water but drinking nonetheless.
“This is so fucking wrong!” Neo’s voice breaks through the fog in my brain.
“It’s also the right thing to do. There is nothing wrong about completing the bond especially if it prevents a mate challenge and certain death.” My mother counters.
“It is wrong because she is being forced to fuck Mateo before she is ready.” Neo growls back.
My mother scoffs.
“Oh please, everyone can smell them both, they are more than ready, this is about her becoming a healer and nothing more. If she wasn’t going to be one she would be mated and marked already and this would all be moot.” My mother counters.
“Arabella, Neo. Stop.” My Aunt Freya steps in between her sisters. Her icy blond hair swirling around her very swollen waist.
“This is not a bad thing.” She leaves my mother and aunt and walks over to me kneeling before me with her hand on her large belly.
“Astrid. I know this is not how you wanted your mating to be. I know you have dreamed of being a moon healer all your life but trust me when I say you do not want your mate to be in a challenge. The outcome is uncertain. Mateo and Bjorn are equally capable of killing each other. When I first heard Knox challenge Gage, I was terrified he would die. Gage had a mean evil streak to him, one I see in Bjorn. Bjorn could walk away, but his pride will not let him, and pride plus lust is dangerous. We were lucky I had two mates and the King allowed both of them to fight Gage. The challenge was over almost as soon as it begun. It will not be that way with Mateo. You need to decide if you want to be a healer more than you want your mate alive.”
She strokes my hands as tears fall to my lap. Her twin Aunt Eva comes to help her up and I snivel as someone passes me a handkerchief. I scent aunt Delilah on the delicate lace fabric.
“Thank you,” I whisper staring at my lap.
I feel numb. It should be an easy choice. Of course I want Mateo to live. The last thing I want is this challenge. But I also want to be a healer. For goodness sake my fur changed almost overnight from dark tan to pure white. If that was not a sign from the goddess I’m meant to be a healer I don’t know what else it means.
A loud rap on the door jolts me.
“Its Sebastian and Mateo” Neo says opening the door.
My aunt’s move aside as Mateo strides over to me.
Without a word he holds his hand out and as soon as I place mine in his he pulls me up and sweeps me into his arms carrying me out of the room.
I entwine my arms around his neck leaning on his warm hard chest. The familiar sparks and tingles soothe me and I drawn on Mateo’s scent for comfort. I can’t believe how messed up this day has become and all I want to do is disappear from the world.
Mateo says nothing as he carries me through the council house, both of us lost in our own thoughts. We ignore the many stares along the way until finally we reach our suit.
Mateo kicks the door closed so hard it rattles on its hinges and I jolt in his arms.
“Sorry.” He says through gritted teeth as he puts me down on the edge of the bed.
“Look at me Astrid.” He commands standing before me with his hands on his hips.
I look up meeting his warm hazel eyes. He has Xolo back under control.
“Are you okay?” He asks scanning my tear streaked face.
“Yes I’m fine. Are you okay?” I return.
“No Astrid. I’m not fucking okay. Xolo almost killed Bjorn. Fortunately I took just his fingers but Xolo was going for his throat. I would be in Royal fucking prison had I killed a foreign fucking Alpha unprovoked on Council grounds.” He begins to pace the room, tension returning to him as he rolls his broad shoulders back.
“It was not unprovoked Teo, his very presence is a provocation to Xolo anyone can see it.”
“Its irrelevant Astrid. I’m an Alpha who should have control over his wolf and I’ve had little to no control since you arrived " he snaps.
I lean back shocked.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper, shame washing over me.
“Don’t fucking say that Astrid, it’s not your fault it’s mine. I’m the one without control not you.”
I sigh burying my face in my hands, then looking up.
“We need to complete the bond Mateo. This is too much for you and Xolo. My dad was right. There’s a reason why there are no Luna’s who are healers.”
Mateo stops his pacing and glares at me.
“I’m not going to mate and mark you today Astrid. No one is bullying us into this not even the fucking Alpha King. No fucking way.”
I look up at him in surprise. Fear gripping my chest.
“Mateo we have to. Otherwise you have to fight Bjorn.”
Mateo glares at me.
“So I’ll fucking fight him. If Beta Cole hadn’t intervened he’d be dead already not just missing fingers. I’m only going to say this once Astrid. I will not fuck you until you become a healer and I will fight Bjorn at sunset.”
I shake my head panic choking me.
“No Mateo, I don’t want that. I don’t want you to fight Bjorn.”
Mateo glares at me.
“Why? Because you think I’ll lose?”
“There is no certainty in a challenge I don’t want to risk your life Mateo.”
“An Alpha not willing to take risks is not worthy of the title Astrid.”
“You would risk me being given to him if you die!”
“You have no fucking faith in me Astrid why do you doubt that I can take him?”
“He’s older and more experienced and a true Alpha.”
Mateo freezes and my heart sinks.
“I didn’t mean that.”
Mateo scoffs walking away from me.
“Yeah you did. I’m just a second born, so I’m not a true Alpha right? Is that what you’ve believed all along? Is that the real reason why you don’t want to complete the bond?”
I rush off the bed grabbing his arm but he yanks it away from me.
“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just scared Teo. I don’t even know what I am. I thought I was a healer, then I find out you’re an Alpha and I’m a Luna, everything has happened so fast and I’m confused.”
Mateo snaps his head at me.
“You need to wake the fuck up Astrid. There is no time for confusion. I accepted my role to lead Blood Stone and I may not be a true Alpha but I fucking try everyday. I told you I don’t give a fuck if you become a healer or not. I still don’t, that’s your dream, I was willing to support you achieve it, but if you can’t even put a little faith in me, after I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me then do whatever the fuck you want Astrid. I’m fighting Bjorn. Not for you. For me and my pack. Because I won’t be disrespected when I’ve worked so fucking hard to get where I am.”
He storms out the room leaving the door gaping open while I stare at the empty hallway with tears streaming down my face.
What have I done?
My chest aches, my stomach twists into knots, pain engulfs my body as Runa howls angrily at me as our mate leaves us.
That’s what it feels like. Like he’s leaving.
I did this. Me and my uncertainty and my stupid mouth.
I didn’t mean to belittle him or make him feel less than what he is which is a good Alpha.
“Is this a bad time or do you have a moment for an old friend?”
I gasp as a tiny, gray haired she wolf sticks her head cautiously around the open doorway.
“I just passed your mate raging down the stairs. Is everything okay?”
“Sonja!” I cry and jump off the bed rushing to embrace my former teacher who wraps me in her warm familiar arms with a low chuckle.
“Oh my dear Astrid, what trouble you have got yourself into.” She coos as I sob into her shoulder.
“Sonja, I’m so glad to see you, what are you doing here?” I ask dragging her into the room.
We sit on the couch by the large bay windows.
“I came to see you of course. You left without a word but as soon as Alpha Bjorn told me about choosing you as the packs Luna I understood why you left. I didn’t know he knew you already had found your mate and he was coming to challenge for you. I’m so sorry my dear.”
I nod, rubbing my chest as the ache continues.
“I’ve messed up so bad Sonja. I said something that hurt Mateo. He refuses to claim me before sunset, he’s going to fight Bjorn.”
Sonja nods rubbing my knees.
“He will forgive you. He is your mate. Give him time. And there was nothing you could ever have done about the challenge. Mateo is an Alpha, he would never have taken the way out being offered by Freya’s Law unless he truly believed he would lose. No true Alpha would.”
Shame guts me as Sonja’s unconscious choice of words strike me to the core.
If Mateo never forgave me I would not blame him.
“I’m sure you know from reading my book you took that Fenrir Alpha’s are known for mate challenges.”
Her sudden sharp tone makes me look up and guilt of another kind eat me.
“I’m sorry. You know why I had to take it.” I say quietly.
“Those are my private patient notes, you were not supposed to read them at all. I told you when I began your training there would be cases you would not be privy to. I taught you every thing you need to know, I trusted you Astrid.” I ignore her hurt filled voice as anger rises in me.
“I never meant to see them, I came across the book by accident when I was researching for my morning sickness tea, I didn’t realize what I was reading until it was too late.”
I stand crossing my arms as I look down at the older she-wolf.
“You know why Crystal Moon she wolves are male barren.”
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