Scara pov..
I sit here
Feeling my breath
Feeling the hot water
Is it too hot?
Am I burning?
Can I feel it?
Does he feel it?
That burn
That addiction
I didn't expect this
I check my phone yet to see no messages
That feeling getting tighter
Suffocating me...
Drowning me...
Killing me...
I can't breathe..
But...
Do I deserve to breathe?
Why...
Why do I put myself before others..
Why am I so clingy?
Why am I so sensitive?
Why am I so scared..
Why am I me?
Why am I alive?
Why..
Why
Why
I lose my vision
I lose my grip
I lost my grip..
I'm falling...
Falling back down...
Down and down...
I can't feel my skin..
I can't feel my heart beating
I can't feel my chest heaving
I can't feel anything
Why did this happen again..
Why does it happen...
Why is she always the thing that breaks it..
She hasn't even met him..
She didn't even want to hurt us..
She was just trying to relax...
She just wants to be safe..
I just want to make up for what I did..
Why can't everyone just get along..
Am I the problem??
Do I need to stay at the bottom..?
I'm still falling..
Falling back..
Back...
Back to the empty pill bottles...
Back to waking up disappointed...
Back to those red marks...
Back to waiting till I'm alone..
Back to stealing a bottle..
Back to slurred words..
Back to crying alone...
Back to what I deserve...
Back to the bottom...
Next time I climb up I'm not looking down...
Not losing my grip..
No extra weight..
No...
What's the point of climbing..
It just repeats...
I'm tired of climbing...
I'm tried of myself...
This water...
So comfortable...
Yet so open to holding and changing to whatever someone wants..
How does the water feel...
Getting used then drained...
Drained...
I'm drained...
Maybe I'll stay with the water...
I push my head under..
I...
I...
I can't breathe..
But can the water.?
It gets separated, thrown, and used..
It needs to let out its anger..
Everything has anger..
Everything gets hurt..
My lungs tighten..
My vision blurs...
I can't breathe...I don't deserve it...
Everything is black...
I won't be back...
I sit here...
Head dunked deep
Phone still blank
I sit here...
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