They were done with the ice cream and instead of Al-mustapha to drive directly back home, he took a different route. She was engrossed at the city of Sokoto, taking it's night view through the window as she smiled to herself. She turned to look at him when she saw a man selling slippers by the road side with other things, her eyes got to the one pair of slippers and she fell in love.
"Will you please stop? I want to buy that!" She exclaimed, and Al-mustapha looked at her with a smile before he slowed down and parked by the road side. He had to reversed so they could stop right by the sellers side and Fatima Zarah smiled at him.
"Am I running your wallet down? I need that slippers please, it's cute." She pointed at a navy blue slippers and even though Al-mustapha didn't see the beauty in most things, he believed it was beautiful. And he could imagine the way it could look on her feet as she walked lazily around the house.
"No, you aren't running it down. Use it as much as you can. Call the seller, he's on your side." He smiled at her and she did as he said, she called the seller and he rushed toward their parked car.
"Good evening, Hajia. Which of the shoes do you want?" He pointed at the heap of shoes and Fatima Zarah answered him with a smile before she pointed at the navy blue one. He got to where the shoes were kept and brought it along with a leather.
"What's the price?" Al-mustapha asked, and she looked at him waiting to hear the price.
"It's 3500, sir." The moment the words slipped out of his lips, Al-mustapha opened his wallet and Fatima Zarah stopped him before he could even pull the cash out.
"You have to negotiate the price first, Al-mustapha." She hushed and he stared at her with an expression and spoke how he didn't know what she meant. Yes, he knew what the word meant, but to negotiate like how? He wanted something from this man, and he said the price. Is he supposed to negotiate about it?
He watched her with amused eyes as she negotiated the price with the seller and she turned to look at him with a smile, "Now, give him 3000. I will feel bad to bad this slippers for 2500, but I feel that's its actual price. Is it because you see us in this flashy car?" She teased the seller with a laughter and he shook his head with a smile while he collected the money from Al-mustapha.
"Thank you sir, I wish you a safe sojourn." He smiled as Al-mustapha drove off and he turned to look at her. She was staring at the shoes, flipping them both way and she even had the right one on her feet as she admired how it looked on her. He didn't know where all this enthusiasm came from, how could you be this excited just because you bought a shoe?!
"What are you so excited about?" He asked out of mere curiosity, and she chuckled before she looked at him.
"Have you ever bought something new and felt like you couldn't wait to lunch it because it's so beautiful and you love everything bit of it that you can't wait for the right time to use it?" She asked, putting the shoes back in the leather and she kept the leather by her side, as if someone was going to snatch the shoes away from her.
Al-mustapha chuckled, he didn't understand where this conversation was going. He couldn't remember the last time he felt true happiness, if he could recall; he had never felt what happiness was like. He was just there, living. And of all the things he knew make people happy, he didn't know buying a new shoes did make poeple happy too. Well, maybe it was just Fatima Zarah that got thrilled over a new pair of slippers.
"No, I don't know that feeling. What is it like?" He asked, and she heaved a sigh before she looked at him, as if trying to find the right words to make him understand what she meant by that.
"Okay, what about this; When it's eid time, when you were a kid. You know we have new clothes sewn for us, new shoes, everything is fresh and new and we keep checking our wardrobes, trying hem on, not letting out friends see them because we have to wait for eid day? That feeling, that anxiousness, that joy of having something new that you can't wait to launch. I still have that feeling when I buy a new thing. Now, do you understand what I mean?"
He slowly shook his head at her, and she groaned before she looked back at the window. "I give up, you won't understand . Since you don't understand that, nothing will make you understand then."
She had never thought he would talk afterward, that even if he would talk, he would may be taunt her or laugh at how annoyed she looked. That's if he noticed she was annoyed at him not understanding the joy of buying something new. And now that she heard his voie as calmly as Al-mustapha could ever sound, she didn't know when she turned to look at him.
"I've never known that feeling because I'm incapable of feeling anything, Fatima Zarah. Even if I were to feel something, this feeling you mentioned will definitely not be something I will experience during my childhood days. I've never had a new clothe, I didn't even know when was eid and not. Like I didn't even know what eid meant because I was never in an islamic school. I had nothing in my childhood to think about, and I'm glad I turned out this way, if not; my childhood would have tormented me for the rest of my life."
❀
She wished when she asked him what he meant, what he went through, he didn't shun her. She wished even after she held his wrist and her voice was begging him to speak, he didn't act as if she wasn't in the car, seated by his side with her hand holding his wrist. Because that's what he did. He acted as if what he said was a mistale he shouldn't have let slipped from his lips. It was as if he had somewhere else in him, where he had packed everything that he didn't want the whole world to know about him. And she wnated to know, everything about him. Every place he had been, every thing he had felt, everything. She wanted to know the whole of Al-mustapha Muhammad Maccido.
It had been more than a week. Before, she was counting that she even lost count afterward. Every day she saw him he acted as if he wans't the one that said he loved the flavour of her lips more than any flavour an ice cream could have. It was as if he wasn't the one that kissed her forehead. The one that held her hand when she was trembling from within. The one that told her everything will be fine without voicing a word out. He told her her hair scent heavenly, and even when she had her hair revealing out, he didn't spared her a glance.
What happened to him? Why was it that just because he gave a few lines from his childhood, which aren't even enough to quench her curiosity that he shut her off this way? What it a mistake on his side? Did he wish to hide that part of his life to everyone to had in his future? But how could a prince go through what he just mentioned?! That was a question that would forever go unanswered. She got tired of missing him, wishing to see him smile once at her or even kiss her, and she went back to her normal activities. As if it never happened. As if he never happened. The Al-mustapha she grew to like-the one she was sure she 'might' love.
She had numerous thought going in her head when she came back home today. Ammi had called her that she would be going to Dubai this week, she had always had passion for fashion designing and Fatima Zarah was glad something good came out of this thing. Atleast Ammi would be able to pursue her dream. When she asked her that why won't she look for a job in the other hospital, because she was sure she would be given the job, Ammi said no. That she was tired of wearing scrubs, labcoats, and her neck shrunk from always holding up a stethoscope.
She got down from the car and waved at Jannah that was doing only god knew what, in the garden. From her expression, Jannah knew she needed space, and it was as if no one ever truly undestand Fatima Zarah more than Jannah did. She waved back with a bright smile before Fatima Zarah walked past her, and she continued whatever it was she was doing.
She held her bag loosely, wishing she could have someone that will hold it for her for the few minutes she had before she got to the confines of her bed. It was as if her inner thoughts were revealed to whoever it was that now had her bag with him or her. Before she turned, he had already scooped her into his arms and she was now bundled up, her ear resting on his chest that she felt something beating within. A beat she loved, a beat she could understand amidst a thousand. A beat she would never get tired of because it sounded as though it was a melody, washing away her grief and exhaustion.
"Al-mustapha..." she whispered and her words trailed off, because she didn't even know when she uttered his name and what she had to say after that. It was like everything had stopped and she was even surprised now that he leaned in and slowly kissed her lips.
"You're too exhausted to walk, just stay still and I'll help you there." He whispered below her ears and she melted into his arms, resting her head to the place she loved the most in his body.
They walked in silence, or rather; he walked in silence until he was in her room and her room and he placed her down on her bed carefully, as if he wasn't the one that ghosted her for weeks she didn't care to count. Because they were too much. Or maybe she just cared so much that she saw everyday that passed without him talking to her when they met as though it were a week.
She now had the chance to look at his face, and he had that subtle and devilish smile she loved. No, she liked. She had learnt to stop using the word 'love' in whatever it is that had Al-mustapha in, but his heart beat was the only thing that she could never deny loving, straightforward. Seeing he was looking at her face as intensely as she was looking at his, she turned to the other side and a pout carved itself on her lips.
He smiled and kissed her lips lightly before he pulled back. "If I may ask, what is this on your lips?"
She turned to look at his with a confused expression, even though her heart was beating widely because of the kiss he just planted on her lips. She brushed her finger on her lips and saw nothing. The last time she wore a coloured lipstick was on the day they went to meet The Royal Gem, the day he showed her a complete different side of him, the day he slipped out a few words about his childhood and later on ghosted her for week she didn't even care to count. May be they were much, may be they weren't.
"What? I have nothing on my lips as you can see." She glared at him and rolled her eyes angrily before she took her eyes off from the look he was flashing at her. She was suddenly angry at her, but she was more angry at herself. How could she be feeling what she was feeling right now? It was as if she had terribly missed him for the weeks he acted as if she wasn't there and now that he came back to her, she could't calm the wildly beating of her heart.
"No, I don't mean a lipstick, I mean that thing you just did. I don't know, but it looks cute on you." He smiled devilishly at her and Fatima Zarah couldn't suppress her groan, everything he did looked good on him. It made him look even more handsome than he was actually. And the worse part of this was, she knew if she would keep on acting angry because he ghosted her, he would never know what she meant, because he didn't understand what others felt. To him, what he did was just as normal as buying her a slippers by the roadside.
"I need to take my bath," she said and instantly stood up from the bed, finding her way to toward the bathroom.
"Wait," he called out at her and she wanted to curse at herself for stopping right before his lips closed.
She didn't turn to look at him but she heard his footsteps as he walked toward her and even when he stood behind her, she didn't turn. Brave, Fatima Zarah!
He smiled to himself before he leaned in and hugged her from behind, Fatima Zarah could swear her heart left her chest and it did a rapid circulation throughout her whole body, and when he wrapped his hands around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder, she melted. Yes, she truly melted. Because this was the most loving gesture she had ever gotten from this man. As much as she wanted to calm her nerves and her skin pores that were straightening themselves, she couldn't. She hated the fact that he had this much effect on her.
"Get ready we're going out by 4pm." He whispered and she felt his breath fanning her bare neck. Just roll down onto the floor, Liquid Fatima Zarah. She said to herself and she stood rooted to her spot when he pulled away from her body and heard him walking to her, as if she was afraid that she would really flow down to the floor if she made a move. Like, she couldn't even breath properly. Breath, Fatima Zarah. She needed this reminder more than she had ever needed something in her life, and so she breath, heaving out whatever it was he planted in her.
What a game they were playing.
As much as she wanted to ignore him when they came out of the house, she knew it was of no use. Because he won't even realise not to talk of apologizing to her. She wanted to shun him though, act as if he wasn't sitting by her side in the car and the way he had his attention fixed on the road wasn't making her angrier than she was.
She notied they were driving to the outskirts of Sokoto, and she turned to ask him because her curiosity got the best of her. "Where are we going? I thought we're going to the palace?" She asked, and Al-mustapha turned to look at her before he returned his attention back on the road.
He slowed down and took a different route before he answered her, "I once told you I'll kill you and throw your carcass away in a forest right? And no one will ever notice, that's what I'm doing right now." He eyes bulged out and he laughed, the kind of laughter she had terribly missed from him.
"Al-mustapha..." she trailed off, because by Allah she had believed what he said, considering the way they left things the last few weeks ago.
"Calm down, we're here to ride horses, nothing more." He smiled at her and that's when she had noticed he had already parked in a secluded building that had nothing but an endless open space with only an apartment that Fatima Zarah was sure would be cozy for a weekend and there was a place she was sure was meant for the guards and the ones taking care of the horses, that's if there were horses there. Because she couldn't see them. This looked like one of those movies where you could find a building in an empty forest and there are actually people living in it.
"No, you don't mean it!" She half-yelled, her voice shaking a bit. For the few minutes they had spent in the car and him texting in his phone, she didn't see any sign of living out there.
"Yes, I mean it, Fatima Zarah. You're married to a prince, so you can't not expect to ride a horse for the rest of your life." He smiled and got down from the car, she did the same while looking at him with a horrified expression.
Someone actually got out from where she would love to assume was the stable and he walked out holding two horses with both hands and she didn't know when she ran behind Al-mustapha and firmly held his shirt, her chest was pounding widely. He placed his hand on hers in a comforting way and turned to look at her.
"What's happening, Fatima Zarah? We're just here to ride the horses, nothing more." His voice was soothing, but as the horses approached them completely, she lost her calm and hugged him tightly.
"I have equinophobia, I can't ride a horse, Al-mustapha!" She wailed and snuggled her head more onto his chest.