For the next few months, I would have periods of depression. The only thing that would help me was the child that frequently came around. There was also a young lady who would take me to another woman occasionally. Sometimes it was embarrassing, breastfeeding, changing diapers, and bathing. Out of the three people who I saw frequently, the child who I assumed was the young lady's sibling had done things in a subtle way that didn't set me off.
It was after having these repeated experiences and care, did I start getting motivated to live more. I started practicing my vocal range and crawling, having a goal to stand. It was frustrating because, throughout all this, it still felt like a constant reminder of what I lost. I died, my sister and I would have hypotheticals over situations like this but I wasn't as passionate about it as her. Isekai novels were one of her guilty pleasures.
That's why it came as a great surprise to bond over This is your love because it wasn't an Isekai genre. It was more about war, politics, the people in the main character's life, and how he saw them. It had intricate world-building that the author made you feel intimate with. It was breathtaking to have so much passion for a world made up, but not breathtaking enough for me to be in a situation like this, an Isekai situation. It all feels like it's mocking me. This is the book we loved and I'm living in it as a trope I was not inclined about.
Currently, I'm being carried by the young lady, I have deduced is named Amelia. It had taken me longer to get the hang of the language here than I would've thought. After my bouts of depression, I had time to pick up the language naturally. It helped that my baby mind was absorbent, I figured out that the young boy who frequently visited me was named Cillian, and that the young lady who took care of me often was my nanny named Amelia. I was familiar with this routine, Amelia was taking me to what I had guessed was my mother in this life...
After what felt like a long time, Amelia took a swift turn into another hallway and knocked gracefully on one of the doors. I hear a verbal response and Amelia enters. Upon entering I see a woman sitting at a table, across from her is a little boy with golden hair excitedly waving his limbs with each word he says. The woman is more familiar to me than the boy. I wasn't as observant as I should've been but after a few visits of feeding... I had taken notice of her clothes and the way Amelia had treated her. I remember that Alister was of Noble lineage belonging to a house of a duke. There were also servants coming in and out of the room serving her tea and snacks. I was still iffy about whether she could be my birth mom though. I didn't get the chance to see my reflection fully but Alister had blue hair in the novel, She had flaxen hair, and I wasn't certain about her being my mother because of this. Of course, I knew there were wet nurses but what kind of wet nurse got treated like her? As soon as I see her, I move my arms in her direction and say
"Mama!"
"Hello, my sweetheart, Ali!" She coos.
Amelia brings me to her and I'm immediately in who I guessed is Lady Verchile's arms. My attention is brought by the kid that is now right in front of me. His face shines with enthusiasm and I can tell that he has blue eyes. I guess he's my brother, It must come from the father. He was wearing a simple dress shirt and suspenders designed in monochromatic brown stripes, from what I could tell. In the novel since Alister was only mentioned two times, we never really got to see his family dynamic. Of course, we had a whole page about his looks so background information was nuanced. Since my sister and I debated over the character's fanart so much, I read that page repeatedly to support my arguments.
'if you were familiar with the kingdom of Triciadal, you would reminisce of the late queen, upon seeing his hair.' Another line mentioned his hair color and eyes.
'His hair, cerulean, and his eyes, shades of it.'
The only reason Alister appeared, fans speculated, was because he was the grandson of the late queen of Triciadal, another character the author loved in passing and was mentioned occasionally due to a war that happened over 50 years ago if this novel isn't an AU.
The boy across from me grabs a pastel macaroon only to be told to put it back.
"Tennyson, you know we're having breakfast in a little bit, these are for later."
The lady, I'm still having trouble with what to call her, adjusts me, and I can hear the movement of the cloth. Instead of doing what he is told, the boy immediately shoves it in his mouth with both hands. He jumps from his chair and wipes them on his shorts.
"Tennyson!" I'm starting to think that's his name.
"Tennyson, oh dear, okay, no more." I can feel her moving behind me and soon a maid comes over and takes the treats. The boy, now named Tennyson has a triumphed smile on.
"Of course mama, I can't wait to have breakfast with the rest of the family it's been a while. I don't understand why Cillian doesn't join us though when it's just me and you?" he says this rocking back and forth on one of his heels, both hands behind his back. His face slowly shifts into one of small worry. He takes a step forward towards me, I can't tell what most of the conversation is about, only picking up words like breakfast, Cillian, and mama.
I'm easily getting bored so I decide to ignore the conversation, tracing the stained glass table in front of me but it comes out more like a couple of pats. The lady grabs one of my hands and starts making circular motions with her thumb.
"I don't-" she catches herself and resumes.
"Cillian is just busy," she says this while looking at her and Alister's hands.
"He's busy like your big brother." she looks right back up and tries for a reassuring smile and it seems to convince Tennyson.
"Okaay!" Tennyson resumes rocking back and forth only for a maid to enter the room.
At this point, I start drooling, I don't know what to do. I try moving both my hands and eventually get both of them to smother the drool even more in a pathetic attempt to wipe it off. the lady pulls one of my hands again and starts fiddling with it, I give up and start paying attention to my surroundings. The maid that came in started talking.
"Your grace," she bows her head minutely and I feel the crinkling of cloth and the lady behind me moving again. I think she's gesturing.
"Young lord Cillian is waiting in the personal dining room." she finishes and is dismissed with another gesture.
"Oh, yes! Tennyson, we should get going to breakfast."
She says this so suddenly, that I flinch a little, as well as a baby, can. she stops fiddling with my hand, there's some slobber on hers. Two maids come forward and she hands me to one of them. The other one offers a handkerchief, and she gracefully wipes her hand and gives it back. Getting up she gestures to Tennyson to follow,
"Come on Tennyson." she strides across the room to the entrance, Tennyson following.
The maid carrying me follows after them too. We finally arrive at a bigger door than I'm used to seeing around here with intricate designs, two guards open it up. I'm amazed at what I find. The floors shine and have patterns in different shades of gold, marble pillars, and a convex-shaped ceiling. It's more than I would imagine when thinking about the novel, this is your love. It has the same ambiance as my room. After I'm almost done marveling at the scene I'm set down in a high chair by a maid. The lady is cooing at me but I subconsciously put my knuckles in my mouth. my attention was caught by a familiar-looking boy. He's sitting to the right of the center chair at the end of the table. My eyes go wider than before not in amazement but in realization, that he's also my brother. It makes sense now, why his name was being talked about by the lady and young boy. It also makes more sense how he treats my nanny and how my nanny treats him.
Initially, I thought he was the nanny's younger brother due to his similar hair color and simple clothing. He also didn't seem like a noble to me but now that I'm looking at him, in this setting, he looks like one. Even with him being a kid, he carries a quality of noble maturity.
I guess that's what you should expect from nobles. His brow bunched up while having a conversation with the enthusiastic young boy. (Tennyson, I remind myself.) The lady says something to me and then turns to the boys, this time I actively pay attention to the conversation. She tells them something and just when Cillian (now that I realized who he is,) opens his mouth to respond, I hear the door opening. I try turning around but to the lady, it just seems like I'm being fussy. Everyone stands up, which startles me and I try turning around again in vain. I give up and turn my head to the right as the lady is there.
Her face is kissed by the man, this makes me realize that this is a family gathering. She is then kissed again but this time by the teen on the hand. As soon as the man takes a seat so does everyone else. A few people come through the doors, two of them with carts and the others holding trays, setting them down, and serving the lady and man along with the children. I notice to my left is the teen, upon closer observation, he looks like a mini version of the man. I pull my knuckles out of my mouth and a string of drool follows. I guess this is Alister's family.
In the novel, Alister presented himself as a lord coming from a ducal house, The House of Verchile. Based on his appearance in the novel he looks nothing like the people here. I really need to see my reflection, I don't want to keep assuming. I stare at each and every one at the table without tact, before I can get to the father's looks, I am poked on the cheek.
"Come on, Ali, look!" the Duchess Verchile cooed.
She had pinkish mush on a spoon, I obeyed and opened my mouth, not questioning what a baby can eat, it was surprisingly tasty. While I was tasting it she grabbed a napkin and wiped my chin and hands. Throughout the whole meal, this would be a repeated thing. It seemed at the other end of the table Duke Verchile was initiating conversation, asking questions I didn't quite understand. This is frustrating since I couldn't understand as much as I would like, I decided to observe everyone and how they interacted with one another. It seemed Cillian was comfortable enough to just eat first before everyone else. Occasionally I'd see the teen across from Cillian take peeks at him, this brought my attention to the teen. He had golden blond hair, like Tennyson, I could easily tell where he got his characteristics from. Taking another bite of what Duchess Verchile offered, I then stared at the man who I guessed was Duke Verchile.
He had a stern face in contrast to his exuberant blue eyes and golden hair. Now that I was thinking about it, the teen was like a miniature version of the dad. I guess time passed faster than usual when I was thinking, this was the most interaction I had gotten since I remembered my death. Cillian and Tennyson were dismissed and it was only the parents and the teen now. I was picked up by a maid and then immediately put into Duchess Verchile's arms, this time in a seat between Duke Verchile and the unnamed teen. All while this was happening servants roamed in and out of the personal dining room to clean the food.