We all make choices in life. You can't get mad when someone finally decides to break free from you. You've made your choice and I've made mine.
Today was session day with Dr. Reid and my mom. I can't believe she actually decided to come. I wasn't going to get my hopes up because she never showed up for me not once. Hell why should I even expect her to now.
I was going to go into it with an open mind and see what the outcome would be.
My plan was to do absolutely nothing today until my session later.I was tired and needed to relax.
Fatima: You're still in the bed, you don't have any meetings today.
Zac: Nope, I'm going to be a bum today I am tired I need to relax. I got a session later with Dr. Reid and my mom. Kicking his feet up and fluffing the pillows.
Fatima: Oh, that's good well you earned a day of relaxing especially after pulling off last night and then the workout after we got home.
Zac: I can go for round two
Fatima: I thought you just said you were relaxing
Zac: I am I mean I can relax once we do round two, trying to pull Fatima on the bed
Fatima: No Zac I am about to go for a run
Zac: Fine I guess I'll pull out my side chick
Fatima: Good she's collecting dust on the shelf
Zac: You know I'm just playing I'm not using that thing no more. Last time she had a malfunction and got stuck on my dick
Fatima: Laughing
Zac: That's not funny Fatima, she could have damaged my dick
Fatima: Stop crying you were fine it was just user error.
Zac: I know what happened I was there.
Fatima: Okay well I'll be back in a hour, I been slacking on working out so I need a good run
Zac: Okay don't pass out it's hot out there today.
Fatima: I'll be fine
That was a good run, I met a new neighbor who went running with me she just moved into the neighborhood. Zac was knocked out snoring when I got back he must have been wore out.
I showered and got an early start on cooking dinner. I didn't know what to do with all this free time I had since I finished school. I knew eventually once I builded up my clientele I wouldn't need to be Andi's assistant but in the mean time I will do both. It was getting later and later and Zac was still sleep
I went to wake him up
Fatima: Zac Babe wake up
Jumping up startled What did I miss?
Fatima: I don't want you to be late for your session with Dr. Reid.
Zac: Looking at the clock dang I slept that long, why didn't you wake me up?
Fatima: Because you needed the rest, now get up I made dinner so it will be ready for you when you get back.
Zac: Okay thank you baby
Showered and dressed in no time I was headed out the door.
Fatima: Hope you have a great session babe
Zac: Me too, I'll let you know how it goes when I get home
The Session
Dr.Reid: How's it going Zac?
Zac: Things are actually going great, Fatima and I are on the same page and we're making power moves together as a couple.
Dr.Reid: That is good to hear considering how we started. We'll give your mom a chance to get here since she still has 10 minutes. Are you nervous?
Zac: I wouldn't say nervous just ready to see if she shows.
Dr.Reid: Would you be disappointed if she didn't show?
Zac: Naw I wouldn't because this is what she normally does and I don't have any expectations so I can't be let down.
Dr.Reid: That's an honest answer
We sat there and talked 20 minutes went by. Dr. Reid tried giving her a call but it went straight to voicemail.
Zac: She's not coming as always
Dr.Reid: Well at least we tried
Zac: Yeah at this point I am done trying. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be help. I have accepted the fact that she will never change. And I know that I am not to blame, I can't keep running every time something happens. Who's going to be there for me?
Dr.Reid: Very valid points and if you decide to move on then you have every right to. You have been the only one trying and that's not fair. Well I do appreciate you for taking the time to come here even though she was a no show.
Zac: I thank you for trying, until next time.
Pulling back up at home
Fatima: That was quick everything okay?
Zac: Yep, she didn't show
Fatima: Getting up to hug Zac, I'm sorry babe
Zac: Don't be cause I'm not. I'm done with her and Jeremiah. I just want to eat and relax with my baby.
Fatima: Okay I'll make your plate
Zac didn't have the plate for ten minutes before he cleared the plate. We ended up chilling on the couch and watching movies.
Zac's phone goes off, he looks at it and turns the phone upside down. The phone goes off again.
Fatima: You don't want to get that, it could be important.
Zac: Nope, it's not important trust me
Who ever it was kept calling back to back Zac just turned his phone off.
20 minutes later someone came banging on the door. They were knocking so loud it scared the shit out of me my first instinct was to grab my gun cause who the fuck was knocking like they're the police.
Zac: Put that away
Fatima: No I may need it.
Zac: Zac yelling Who is it.
Open the damn door nigga
Zac: I said who is it?
It's your brother, now open the door.
Zac: Man why you knocking on my door like you the police.
Jeremiah: Because you not answering your phone and made me come all the way over here so I'm pissed.
Zac: You didn't have to come all the way over here you could have stayed where you at.
Jeremiah: Come on your mother needs you
Zac: That's not my problem any more
Jeremiah: What do you mean that's your mother?
Zac: That's your mother too, you're the one enabling her so you take care of her.
Jeremiah: Nigga that's how you feel about your own mother?
Zac: What can I say feelings mutual, she don't drop things and come running when I need her. But ya'll expect me to come to the rescue every time. Nope not this time
Jeremiah: If I have to drag you then we gone have a problem
Zac: Nigga I'm not a little kid no more you don't scare me now if you don't mind you can leave. trying to close the door but Jeremiah put his foot in front of the door.
Jeremiah please move your foot, I'm not leaving to go help her she couldn't even show up for my therapy session tonight so forgive me if I'm all out of fucks to give tonight.
Jeremiah: See you been acting brand new since you been with this bitch pointing in Fatima's direction
Fatima: Who you calling a bitch, Zac
Before Fatima could finish Zac punched Jeremiah in the face
Zac: Who's the bitch now don't you ever disrespect my fiancé again.
Standing up like a drunk man, he wiped the blood away that was leaking from his nose.
Jeremiah: Oh you bad now
Him and Zac started tussling on the ground throwing punch after punch.
Stop it, get off him
I watched closely trying to make sure he didn't have Zac down if I needed to step in I would. But Zac was handling his own. He had Jeremiah in a chokehold.
Jeremiah: Nigga let me go
Zac: If I let you go you got 10 seconds to get off my property before I fuck you up
Jeremiah: Fuck you nigga
Zac: The feeling is mutual. Letting him loose I'm done with both of ya'll don't come knocking at my door no more
Jeremiah: That's how you turn your back on family?
Zac: We've never been a family.
We watched as Jeremiah got in his car and drove away.
Fatima: Are you okay?
Zac: FUCK MAN! punching the air
Fatima: Come inside so I can get an ice pack. placing the ice pack on his red fist
Zac: I can't do this shit no more I can't ( tears started to fall)
He laid his head on my stomach and just cried.
Fatima: Look at me, don't let them take you there. They want a reaction and you don't owe them anything. It's time you start doing for yourself and if that means you need to distance yourself then do it. I'm here with you either way.
Wiping the tears
Fatima: Thank you for taking up for me
Zac: I'm gone always take up for you. I'm tired of everyone thinking you're the one making me do things. I can't change I can't better myself for myself. I'm tired of it and I'm tired of always dropping what I have just to go save someone who keep doing the same shit. It's draining and I I'm not doing it no more I put my foot down.
Fatima: As you should babe,
Zac: Thank you for having my back I know you had your gun ready to shoot
Fatima: You know I did and I wasn't going to shoot no warning shot. But you held your own, you had him dancing on the ground.
Fatima acting out Jeremiah on the ground
Zac: Stop it but I needed that laugh. I love you
Fatima: Love you more
Family will bring you down if you allow it. My mom made her choices and I've made my own choice to not try to save her anymore. I just hoped she would get it together before it's too late. I'm trying to build my own family and I don't want any of this trauma around me. Can't say it doesn't hurt it stings like hell but I know in time that hurt will go away.
I will always love her but I gotta let her go