It took a while for us to return to the hotel. Jasper and Kyle took a long and complicated route, just to make sure that we weren't followed. We walked into the hotel lobby and everyone was waiting in the bar, seated at tables. Some had work out in front of them, but all attention went to us as we entered. I froze and Eli gave me a look as he walked over to Richard who was watching me, discreetly passing him the knife I had used to kill the man.
"Daisy," Jasper said to me quietly. He hadn't left my side. I didn't look at him, I didn't even acknowledge him talking to me.
Eli returned to us and took my hand, pulling me away from my brother and our friends. We made it to our room where Eli leant me against the sink in the bathroom and reached for a flannel, running it under the tap and then turning to me. He brushed it against my face gently, cleaning away what I assumed was blood splatters that had reached me even though I had looked away.
He threw the flannel to the side and placed his hands on the sink, either side of my waist, trapping me against him. I stared at his chest. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see the expression on his face.
"Daisy," he whispered. I couldn't work out the emotions in his voice. "Hey." Familiar hands clasped my chin and he tilted my head up, frowning at me. "Princess, talk to me."
"I have nothing to say."
He brushed his thumb under my eye and sighed as he kissed my forehead. "Tell me what you're thinking."
"No."
"Tell me. Because I know you're thinking all kinds of horrible things about yourself and I need you to tell me so I can help you understand that you are none of the things you think you are."
"I can't be normal," I said. I didn't even recognise my own voice. I felt broken. "Can I? We can never be normal."
Eli didn't say anything, he just watched me.
"I'm a mess, Eli."
"You're not."
"I'm a killer. I feel no remorse. No guilt. I'll never think about those two people I just killed again. It won't keep me up at night, watching the life drain out of them. I won't ever feel bad. I never have." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I'm not a good person, Eli. I hate that's who I am. A cold hearted killer."
"You are a good person," he murmured, wiping away my tear. "You are not cold hearted."
"I promised myself," I croaked. "I promised I wouldn't kill again and it took less than a minute for me to break that promise. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"There is nothing wrong with you," he said firmly. "Princess, you don't feel guilty when you end a life of someone bad. That's okay. Do you think I give a shit that I just killed those three men? I couldn't care less. That does not make us messed up."
"A normal person would care."
"We've lived in a world that isn't normal for far too long to change the way we think deep down," he breathed. "I'm sorry you had to go back on your word. I am so sorry. I wish you weren't feeling this right now. I wish you could be normal, I wish you didn't have to destroy yourself inside by living this life. I wish I could do something."
"You're a good person, Eli. I don't know if I ever will be."
Eli's eyes hardened. "Princess, you do not get to call me a good person if you're calling yourself a bad one. We've both committed horrendous acts in this world. We're both in this together. You don't get to put me on a pedestal when we view the world the same. You're not alone in this."
"I don't know what to do," I whispered. "This isn't working, Eli. It's all fucked up."
He brushed his lips over mine. "We'll get through it. Together."
"Nothing has changed. All of this nonsense. Moving here. Trying to get a stupid fucking degree. It means nothing. I've still ended up killing. I've never escaped the life I wanted to."
"That's not true. We've just hit a mild... bump in the road."
I couldn't help but laugh. "These mild bumps aren't going away."
"We'll make them," Eli said surely. "I'll make them."
I looked into his eyes and he raised an eyebrow when I shook my head. "No," I growled. "I'm done. I'm done hiding. I want this over and I'm not going to stand on the sidelines anymore. We're ending this, and I'm helping."
Eli gave me a cautious look. "Princess, you don't want to be apart of this. Even after today, I know you want nothing to do with this world."
"I don't," I said. "But I'm not going to sit around and be a target while everyone around me is trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I'm in, Eli."
"We end all of this and then we go back to being normal."
I nodded but we both shared a look and knew exactly what each other was thinking. Neither of us thought normal was ever going to be possible.
*
I had showered and changed into one of Eli's t-shirts and was curled up in the bed, numerous plates from room service were in front of us and Eli was flipping impatiently through the channels on the TV, freshly showered and in nothing but his boxers. We hadn't spoken more about the events of the evening, but I knew that we would have to face the others soon and figure out who the hell those people were.
I wondered who it was exactly that I had killed.
Eli's hand was on my leg, he was tracing my skin with his fingers as he scrolled through the TV channels. It was getting late and I had to get up early for university in the morning, but neither of us were feeling tired. I checked my phone and sighed, mentally counting the small amount of sleep I was going to have that night.
I felt Eli looking at me and he sighed. "You're not seriously considering going to university tomorrow, are you?"
"Yes."
"Daisy, we were hunted earlier and your head is all over the place-"
"Exactly. I know I said I'm in, but I'm still going to continue with the pathetic excuse of this normal life I was trying to live. I need something to distract me from what's going on, Eli."
He glared at me. "You're being reckless."
"I'm not hiding in this hotel, Eli. I've got Veronica looking for me, one more group of people isn't going to change much. I'll just be more careful."
He sighed. "I'm not saying either of us should hide in this hotel, princess, but you need to be careful." He gave me a look and sighed. "Fine. But you keep in touch and you tell me your every single movement."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"They followed the both of us. We don't know which of us they were after. Are you going to be careful?"
"I always am."
"Who do you think they were after?" I asked quietly.
Eli paused. "We both could have attracted many enemies, princess. I don't know."
"We know they're not with Veronica. Their style, their clothing, it doesn't add up. And Veronica wouldn't have instructed her men to throw knives at us."
"I know."
"I'm going to talk to her," I said.
Eli raised an eyebrow. "You're what?"
"I'm going to demand some answers from her. Faye and Finley had clocked the vans, they knew we were being watched. They know something."
"You want to work with Veronica?"
I scoffed. "Hell no. But I do want to storm in there, draw a little blood and demand a fucking explanation."
Eli shrugged his shoulders. "That's fine by me. When?"
"I haven't decided yet."
"You want to do it alone?"
I met his eyes. "No. But I will."
There was a knock at the door and Eli sighed, dragging himself over to the bed and peering through the peep hole. Glanced at me before opening the door, leaving it open and walking back to the bed as Richard and all the guys bundled into our room.
I glared at them all. "Get the hell out."
"We need to discuss earlier," Richard said, shutting the door behind him.
"Not now."
"Yes, now, Daisy," he said gently.
"Ten minutes," Eli said sharply.
I scowled at him but looked over at Richard as Beth came and perched on the bed next to me, squeezing my hand. "How you holding up, girl?"
"Just wonderful," I murmured and looked at Richard. "Before you start, I need you to know that I'm in. Whatever the hell is going on, I'm going to help figure it out."
I ignored the shocked looks I got from everyone in the room and made a gesture to Richard to continue. "Your ten minutes is quickly running out."
Richard sighed and looked at Eli. "Debrief, please?"
"There's not much to say," Eli shrugged, but he told Richard and the others every detail of the evenings events, including Faye and Finley.
Jasper swore loudly. "Why have they got to be fucking involved."
"It wasn't Veronica's men who came after us," I said. "But I have a feeling that Faye and Finley know something considering how quickly they got out of there."
Richard ran a hand down his face and my expression softened. I hadn't truly thought how difficult this was for him, his wife, the woman he had loved, being thrown back into his life and trying to get into the lives of his children. I knew that Richard would die to protect us. I knew that all he wanted was for Jasper and I to be safe. He didn't want anything jeopardising that, including Veronica.
"I'll arrange a meeting," he said stiffly. "We need every single bit of information possible. I will talk to her."
"No," I said quietly. "I will be the one to talk to her."
"Daisy," Jasper cringed.
"I'm in. I'm helping. This is what I am going to do."
"Daisy, you don't have to talk to her," Richard said gently.
"We're not going to have a lovely conversation and get to know each other. I'm going to demand answers and she will give them to me or I will start to kill her agents one by one."
The looks shared in the room were cautious. No one knew if I was telling the truth, especially after I had now done what I vowed to never do again.
I didn't even know if I was telling the truth.
"You two should not be going anywhere alone," Tom called, pointing a finger at Eli and me. "We don't know which one of you that these people were after."
"We're not being babysat," Eli said firmly, eyeing his best friend defiantly. "We're not going to be stupid, but if you try and keep us locked up in this hotel things will get messy."
"That would be the ideal option, until we gather some intel," Richard said slowly.
"They are not going to listen to you," Blake called. He was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He raised an eyebrow at us. "They won't stay holed up, especially not now that Daisy has her killing shoes back on."
"Blake," Mason warned from across the room. "Don't piss of the beast."
Blake's eyes met mine and he smirked when I glared. "I've been out of practice for a while. Are you volunteering by opening your fuckwit of a mouth?" I seethed.
Blake shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just speaking the truth."
"Get out," Eli growled.
Blake gave him a disinterested look and I slid my and under my pillow and pulled my knife free, flinging it in Blake's direction.
"Jesus Christ, Daisy!" He yelled, looking at the wall that now had a knife embedded in it. It had been where his head had been if he hadn't moved so quickly. He ripped it free and glared at me as he slipped it into the back of his trousers. "I'm not your fucking enemy, chill the fuck out."
"That's why I didn't kill you," I said coldly and pointed to the door. "Out. And I want my knife back."
Blake gave me a look like the thought I was stupid. "I'm keeping that damn knife away from you." He then sent a smug look to Eli before leaving the room. I let out a loud sigh and fell back onto my pillows.
"What else?" I asked Richard.
"We've sent the knife that you used to..." Richard faltered, trying to read my emotions. I kept my face blank. "The knife used to slit that mans throat, we've sent it to the laboratory for a blood test to see if it can ID anyone. We should have the results by tomorrow. Jack and Eric have been tasked with looking at every inch of the CCTV footage to see if we can figure out where these people came from. Beth and Mason are looking through your mission history to see if we can find any possible links or leads. We will find some answers. In the mean time, seeing as you both won't stay here, you are to let at least one other person know of your location at all times. Phones will stay on and trackers alerted. We will have nightly debriefs to see what we have come up with."
"Have we thought," Eli said lowly, his fingers squeezing my knee under the covers. "Have we thought about a possible link between the attacks that are happening in London and tonight?"
Jasper cleared his throat. "We're already looking into that. We'll fill you in tomorrow."
Eli nodded sharply and soon we were left alone again. I slid down in bed and rolled over, looking up at Eli. He frowned down at me, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. "Are you in?" He whispered.
"I told you I am."
"You know what I'm talking about, princess. The people that are executing all these attacks, are you in?"
I paused. "Am I helping you?" I whispered. I sighed and wrapped my arms around Eli, resting my head on his chest. "I'm not too sure about that one yet."
"No more talk about not being normal tonight," Eli sighed and I let him push me onto my back. He slid over my hips, weighing me down with his body weight. "Let me take your mind off of everything, princess. We both know that neither of us are going to sleep anytime soon, either if we tried." There was a dark glint in his eye as his fingers went to my t-shirt and I smiled slightly, my hands running over his thighs.
I nodded. "Please." Eli took my hands, pinning them above my head and he smirked, lowering his body to mine.
*
I had dozed on and off for about two hours when the sound of my alarm filled the room. I cringed and reached over to the bedside table, but Eli's arms were wrapped around me tightly, trapping me to his chest. "Eli," I groaned. "Let go of me."
He let out an annoyed growl, stretched over me and grabbing my phone, throwing it across the room, silencing the alarm. He then nuzzled his head into my neck, kissing me softly. "You barely slept a wink," he whispered, tightening his hold on me. "I'm not letting you go."
"Don't make me fight you so early in the morning," I yawned and reached up behind me, running my fingers through his hair. "I have to get up."
"Try it, I dare you," he taunted and grabbed both of my wrists, pinning them to my chest. He wrapped a leg over mine, sealing me into his body.
I let out a laugh and enjoyed being in his hold, the security, warmth and familiarity of it. "Let me go, you twat."
"I'm going back to bed," he murmured and relaxed his head onto the pillow but his grip didn't loosen. "I think I slept even less than you did."
I wriggled in his grasp and Eli chuckled, kissing my cheek. I felt him smirk against my skin. "Shh, sleep," he said into my ear.
"Eli," I huffed. "I have uni."
"Skip it. Even normal people ditch lectures."
"Do normal people beat up their boyfriends because they won't let them out of bed?"
"You can't beat me up. I've got you trapped."
"Eli," I groaned and couldn't help but laugh. "I need to go. I've missed so much already. You'll be busy today. You can't stay in bed for much longer than I can."
"You can be busy with me," he said. "You're in now."
"I am, but I'm still going to uni. I'll catch up with everything tonight. I can help you guys and still do uni, but only if you let me out of this damn bed, Eli Reynolds!"
Eli groaned in annoyance and he climbed on top of me and reached for his phone on the bedside, the light illuminated his face in the dark room as he looked down at it and he raised an eyebrow at me. "It's six in the fucking morning, princess, you don't need to get up yet."
"I need to stop off somewhere before uni," I said and I couldn't help but admire the man above me. His hair was a mess, ruffled from sleep, his eyes were squinted as he scowled at the phone and then to me.
"I'll let you up at seven," he said.
"Now, you'll let me up now."
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"That's none of your business."
"Princess," he warned.
I rolled my eyes and forced myself into a sitting position, pushing him back so he fell onto my legs. "I'm going to your apartment."
"Why?"
"Get off me and I'll tell you."
"You could easily get out from this," he said, gesturing to our position. "I want you to tell me anyway."
I pushed Eli off of me and climbed out of bed, going to search for my phone that he had thrown across the room. "I'm getting weapons."
He was on his knees, watching me as I picked up my phone. "You're going to see Veronica today, aren't you?"
"Yes. I've decided to go after university." I walked over to the wardrobe where I had hung up my clothes and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a tight fitting long sleeved black t-shirt.
"You know where I keep them?" He called. "And are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
"Yes. And I'm sure." I changed into my clothes and pulled on a pair of knee high boots. I then searched through Eli's bags and pulled out a gun holster, securing it around my body and then another for knives, tightening the straps around my chest. I could easily hold four knives in the sheaths. I then took one of Eli's jumpers, pulling it over my head and it easily hid the belts and straps of the holsters.
Eli's eyes didn't leave my body as I readied myself.
"Come here," Eli said quietly once I was ready. He was now sitting at the edge of the bed and I positioned myself between his thighs. His hands found their way to my hips and he looked up at me. "Keep me updated, princess," he murmured. "I want a text every hour. Starting now."
I rolled my eyes but nodded. "You'll tell Richard where I am?"
"I will."
I pressed my lips gently to his. "I'll see you later," I murmured.
His fingers dug deeper into my hips. "Are you okay?" He asked against my mouth.
"I'll see you later."
"Then that's a no."
"Goodbye, Eli."
*
I walked into university later that morning armed with an extra strong coffee, and two guns and seven knives that strapped to various parts of my body. I flicked the cigarette I had been smoking onto the floor as I walked into the threshold of the building, taking off my sunglasses and cap now that I was safely inside.
I sighed tiredly and took a large sip of coffee before making my way to the lecture theatre. Sitting in our usual spot I joined Tim and Musa, but I frowned as I looked around the busy lecture hall.
"Who the hell are all these people?" I asked, dropping into the seats behind my two acquaintances, leaning forward on the desk.
"Good morning, Daisy. Shall I wait until you've finished your coffee or will your mood today be as delightful as ever?" Musa grinned as he looked over his shoulder at me and I gave him a vulgar hand gesture.
"We've got a whole day of lectures with the psychology and sociology courses," Tim explained.
I tightened my grip on the cup of coffee, narrowing my eyes as I scanned the room. I immediately spotted Riley and Jacob sitting on the opposite side of the room.
"Fantastic," I growled and caught their eyes. They visibly stiffened under the heaviness of my glare.
I sat back in my seat, watching them carefully. It made sense for them to be doing psychology and sociology degrees, they would get a better understanding on how the human mind and different societies worked. Not that I thought anything would help Riley become a better spy.
I curled the corners of my mouth up, sending them a cruel smile and reached into my bag, pulling out my notebook. I went on my phone as I waited for the lecture to start and I typed a message to Eli.
'I'm not dead nor have I been hunted and no kidnap attempt has been made. I'm sure I will safely be able to send you the exact same update in an hours time.'
He replied instantly.
'I look forward to reading the exact same message in an hour then. Have a good day, Princess.'
I rolled my eyes and frowned when another message popped up on my phone. From Blake.
'Don't kill anyone today, Daisy.'
I dialled his number immediately. He answered after the first ring.
"What the fuck, Blake?"
"Got my message I assume?" Was all he said.
"I'll repeat myself. What the fuck."
"I'm being serious, Dais."
"Fuck you."
"Don't do anything stupid."
"You do stupid shit all the damn time."
"Make sure you keep your temper under control when you confront Veronica today. Don't kill anyone."
"How do you fuck do you even know-"
"I know you, Daisy. So, don't do anything stupid."
"I'm not going to go on a fucking," I lowered my voice, "killing spree."
"You reignited something within yourself last night, Daisy. You've not had to deal with that for a long time, so I'm warning you to remain in control."
"Why do you care?"
There was a silence and I regretted the question immediately. We both knew why.
"I don't want to, Blake." I didn't want to kill, is what I meant, but after last night the idea was sounding more and more appealing.
"I know. Which is why I'm telling you to be careful."
The lecturer called for quiet and I hung up, slamming my phone onto the desk, turning my attention to the lecturer. I didn't listen to a single word that they said as I replayed the conversation in my head.
I felt the knives that were strapped across my torso and swallowed, my were hands itching to run the deadly blades across someone's throat again.
*