❒ genre: Angst
❒ words: 2.5k+
❒ summary: In which Harry Styles' post-concert doesn't go as planned for Chaeri, as Jungkook has something to tell her
❒ warnings: swearing; heated argument;
❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC
❒ notes: I'd have much to say about what I wrote. First of all, it was very difficult. Chaeri has this very annoying way about her in which she uses anger to hide other emotions, and I did not find it easy to write. Usually I don't expose myself much, for those who read know that I didn't plan yet an ending of this story, but I think Jungkook is not in the wrong this time. Chaeri has sent him some unclear signals, plus she has completely distanced herself from him. In one way I understand his point of view.
Credits to media owners!
Chaeri bubbled with joy as she left the concert arena, greeting fans on her way out.
Concerts always put her in a cheerful mood, especially when it was Harry Styles performing, and having the chance to meet him backstage had made it an even better experience. For two hours, she felt like a normal friend hanging out with Yoongi and Namjoon rather than a celebrity herself.
When the concert paused halfway, Taehyung, who was nearby with Jungkook and a friend of theirs, asked her to tag along for a bite after the show. She accepted the offer, knowing that Yoongi and Namjoon would head home straight away once it was all over.
Though it didn't take her long to catch up with the two guys, she had to wait for the personnel managing the event to have most of the onlookers removed and organized so that all the celebrities could leave without being mobbed.
Chaeri waved to both of them as she drew near, her face aching from the long smile it had been wearing since the night started. "It was stunning" she exclaimed.
Wrapping Taehyung in an all-encompassing hug, she beamed with happiness "Harry was so nice to agree to take a picture only with me! I can't believe it's already finished"
She diverted her attention from Taehyung to give Jungkook a warm welcome too.
Harry Styles had put her in such a great mood, she wasn't going to let the bad vibes from their last encounter while on the set of the Calvin Klein photoshoot ruin her night.
So, she gave him a hug, albeit briefer than Taehyung, and then touched his arm gently, asking "Did you have a good time?"
Jungkook nodded, his voice muffled by the mask he had not yet taken off his face. "Yes," he said "there's not many who can put on a show quite like Harry Styles"
Chaeri gave his arm an affectionate pat in reply to his comment. "Well said!"
"Did she just turned in fangirl mode?" Taehyung teased her playfully, and she stuck out her tongue in response.
"Aren't we all a bit of a fangirl for him?"
Once they were in the car and out of sight, Tae maneuvered himself from the backseat to the front, taking care to not bump into them with his long legs. He then took a seat next to the driver
"What the hell are you doing?" Chaeri inquired, avoiding the near-miss of a kick that the boy almost gave her as he scrambled to get into the front seat
Taehyung leaned back in his chair and breathed a sigh of relief, pleased with himself for achieving the task. He spun around to face the two people he had just brought together. "I'm giving you both the chance to clear the air."
"What? There's nothing to talk about"
"Stop it," Taehyung replied sternly to her. "Every time we're all together, it's incredibly awkward because of you two. I don't know how you avoided it tonight. This has to end. Make peace."
With those words, he shut the divider between the back and front seats of the car, providing them with some privacy.
Chaeri had her mouth slightly open in amazement and was beginning to get nervous. She also knew that the broken rapport between her and Jungkook was a source of stress for the whole group, yet was that really the night and was that really the way to discuss it?
Jungkook shifted in his seat, his gaze fixed on Chaeri. "I'm sorry," he said "Don't take it out on him, I was the one who asked him to tell you to come in the car with us and give us some privacy. I needed to talk to you"
"I really can't believe you two pulled me into this little game"
Taehyung's words echoed through the divider, making Chaeri jump. "No one is playing games," he had his gaze focused on her reflected eyes in the driving mirror "You two have been avoiding each other for weeks, and it's not healthy for the group dynamic. Clear the air, talk it out."
She tapped her knuckles against the divider and asked, "Don't you remember you said we'd have some privacy?"
"My apologies," he replied. The boy in the front seat had now tucked his head down, out of sight. He was trying to be invisible.
Jungkook glanced down at his hands, where an array of silver rings glinted in the light. His fingers nervously twisted them around and around as he spoke, his gaze fixated on the shining metal "Before anything else," he began, "I want to apologize for what happened last time. I should have respected your boundaries... But I don't regret saying what I said."
A heavy silence filled the air as she stared at him, her lips parting slightly before closing again. After a long pause, she finally muttered "Jungkook, please. Let's not talk about this again"
The car had been driving for several minutes, thus taking away any hope of escape from that conversation she did not want to face. She made a mental note to kill Taehyung once that day was over.
"No,I refuse to delay this conversation any longer"
Well, from better to better.
Crossing her arms, she turned away from him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm not going to hear what you have to say" she had to warm her voice first, to make it come out as if she didn't care what he had to say to her
Jungkook's emotions were now clear on his face: lips slightly pursed, eyes narrowed, and a jaw clenched tight in an effort to stay composed.
Damn stubborn girl
It typically took a lot to shake him up, anger or irritate him in any way. He was used to having his patience pushed by disrespectful people, and he considered himself quite logical and thoughtful. But it took all the willpower in him to utter the right words without starting an argument; that was the goal, after all - discussing without fighting.
He paused and took in a breath before continuing "Remember when you promised that you'd always hear me out? Has that changed too since then? What is left of us? I'm not talking about our..relationship. But of who we were for each other before all this"
Chaeri's stomach was in knots. She had been dreading this conversation for weeks and didn't want it to take place with an audience. Taehyung must have sensed her apprehension, as he cranked up the volume of the car radio. A song by Harry Styles came on - what a strange coincidence.
"I remember," The memory of them sitting on the steps of the old BigHit's building, much less tall than now- or at least Jungkook -, came vividly to her mind, along with the promise they had made each other to always remain close. It felt like a lifetime had gone by since then. "But things have changed. We can't go back to the way things were before" Uttering those words felt like an inferno in her throat. She never wanted to say them aloud, yet there they were, hanging heavily in the air.
Jungkook felt something break inside his mind at the sound of those words, wishing he had been able to keep his composure and not let his anger get the better of him.
"You don't even try! You avoid me like a plague! You were already distancing yourself from me before the accident, and now it's worse. When we were living together in the dorms while you were healing, though, it was almost like things were back to normal; like my Chaeri had returned. At least my friend"
"Why won't you understand that we can never be fucking friends!" Her voice grew louder than she anticipated. It was her fury that prevented her from forming the words in her head before they came out of her mouth.
Jungkook's jaw dropped as his eyes widened in shock. He felt the tell-tale thumping of an accelerated pulse against his ribs, as if it was trying to escape his chest
"I will always care about you, no matter what happens. You'll always be family to me, but I can't be friends with you anymore - that's all there is to it"
Chaeri's voice was firm and unwavering but her eyes are were filled with sadness and her lips quivered slightly as she spoke. Her hands clasped together tightly in her lap, her knuckles white from the strain.
"That's all there is to it!? Are you fucking serious?"
Jungkook's voice had risen, the intensity of his emotions coloring his words.
They were both going too far with their words, causing pain to one another.
Taehyung quickly turned down the volume of the radio, sensing the tension in the car. He had hoped for a peaceful resolution, but it seemed like things were only escalating.
"Listen," he interjected, trying to diffuse the situation. "I think it's best if we all calm down. Emotions are running high right now, and we're not going to get anywhere like this."
Chaeri ignored him completely but leaned over to inform the driver to stop because she wanted to get out
"Is that how you want to solve the problem? By getting out of the car?" Jungkook was incredulous
"I don't want to hear from any of you anymore" Chaeri spat back
"We're on the highway Chaeri, where the fuck do you think you're getting off"
"At a goddamn truck stop, can I pee in peace for fuck's sake?"
Jungkook observed as she opened the vehicle's door and stepped onto the shoulder of the highway once the car had come to a halt. Her form was tiny and vulnerable in the darkness, and he felt an overwhelming urge to go after her.
"I'm gonna go talk to her" he said to Taehyung, who nodded in agreement and stopped the driver who was about to get out of the car to follow both of them
"Chaeri! Just stop for a second"
Chaeri's small frame and her strides cast a determined silhouette in the night. Her blond hair swished around her shoulders and fluttered in the wind as she continued walking, unfazed by Jungkook's pleas.
"No, you know what I'm going to do? I'll head into that store, use the restroom, and then enjoy the dinner you said you'd buy me - by myself."
"Why are you so stubborn?!" His voice rose in frustration
Chaeri stopped mid-stride and spun around, her face flushing bright red with anger. She glowered at him, "You used to appreciate my stubbornness!"
Jungkook's eyes were focused yet there was a hint of exhaustion around the edges. The light from the passing cars illuminated the determination on his face "I still do," he said. "But not when it's at the expense of us"
She drew closer to him, her heart pounding in her chest. She cleared her throat and spoke quietly, "Us? You say it as if we were still an 'us'"
Was she really taking out on him all the bitterness she felt toward her own agency for what it had put her through? As soon as the fog of her fury cleared, she knew she'd regret how she was treating him. But in that moment, it was still overshadowed by her blazing anger.
"And you say this as if it was up to me!" Jungkook's voice was rising with frustration, he cast a furtive glance around the empty parking lot of the truck stop, double-checking that no one was within earshot. "I could not decide anything about this relationship. I know we promised each other that we'd move on, I remember the night we said that.. But I ... I can't stand it. I tried, but I can't"
Jungkook took a step closer to her, his hands outstretched as if to pull her into an embrace. "I don't want to move on," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to let go of what we had"
Chaeri backed away, her eyes fixed on the tips of her shoes as she hugged herself tightly to keep out the chill and contain what she was feeling; whether it be was positive or negative
"Whenever we're together, it seems to bring out the worst in us"
The umpteenth realization that she gave the worst of herself every time she was with him made her sick.
BigHit had been their downfall since they were first caught together - one continuous downward spiral until the crash in 2022.
"It's like gasoline and fire; we bring out the worst in each other" She repeated at the end.
Jungkook took a step back, his hands falling to his sides. He understood what Chaeri was saying; since the break up they had been like a time bomb when they were together, ready to go off at any moment.
"It was not our fault"
"I know, but it still happened. It didn't...work. We tried. We thought we could do it but in the end they won" She tried her best to keep her voice emotionless
"If I didn't know you-if I didn't know you, your indifference would make me think you never loved me!" Jungkook his voice hoarse with emotion
"Don't you dare say anything like that!" Chaeri's voice wavered, and she fought back tears. She took a step closer to him, looking up into his eyes "You know that's not true! "
"I don't understand why you're so determined to push me away" Jungkook said, his voice shaking. "I'll get over it if you.. love someone else now, but I cannot bear the thought of losing you as someone in my life" Those words on the tongue tasted like poison.
"We cannot be friends. Not the way we have been" she said, her gaze lowered to the ground, understanding this was the best decision for both of them.
"Why not!?"
"Because our love consumed me! Because every fucking time I see you, it feels like I'm stuck in the past. Every time I'm with you, you fucking idiot, I question myself about-" she couldn't dare to finish the sentence.
The tears that streamed down her face as she spoke were like a raging river, unstoppable. Her hands trembled and her voice was ragged, yet full of passion and emotion. He watched her with remorse, knowing he shared in the blame for the way things had disintegrated around them. She continued to scream out her frustrations, her words echoing off in the empty park
She sniffled and wiped her wet cheeks with one hand "The time spent together while I was recovering from my injury made me realize that it's best for us to keep some distance"
"Is it better because you don't have to deal with your feelings that way?"
Their faces were suddenly illuminated by dazzling lights, causing them to look as white as ghosts. Abruptly, they both turned in the same direction and noticed a pair of paparazzi - the distance too far to hear their conversation luckily -
"Fuck.."