TWs: mention of sex and abuse. Stay safe <33
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although i felt bad for Grian, it was nice to cry with him. especially since i really hadn't had a chance to process everything that had happened in the last month or so.
getting bullied by joey, getting a boyfriend, having sex for the first time, finding out zach recorded it, getting kicked out of my home for being gay, my boyfriend hitting me and raping me whenever he could, losing all of my money, practically becoming a prostitute just to have some cash when i need it...
it... was a lot to think about all of a sudden.
my life was really bad. i already knew that, but... damn. to have the thought and realise how horrible things really are was... detrimental to my mood. to say the least.
but Grian and i were more alike than i realised. he was also kicked out by his parent. his brother left him and never contacted him... just like how lauren ignored me back at home. he didn't have anybody. and neither did i.
it was comforting to know he felt the same way i did, even if he didn't know that. and i loved him for it. but it was different than how i loved Jimmy. like Grian was my best friend.
lizzie came down and took Grian to bed, which gave me a chance to calm down and finally get myself some water.
i didn't sleep for the rest of that night, and for some reason, Jimmy didn't either. we just stayed up, silently lying next to each other in his bed. it was weird. usually if zach woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, he'd ask to have sex. but Jimmy didn't. and the quiet was comfortable, it wasn't awkward like it was with zach.
it was nice.