Priya turned off the internet and slide aside her phone.
"Are you crazy? What was that?" she screamed and hurried to her bed.
Her heart pounded, lips parting in effort to form words. It happened again. Once again she had lost all the sensibility.
How? Why?
Maybe she had taken her sister's go-with-the-flow advice little too seriously, now causing havoc in her life.
"Or perhaps the dosage is heavy," she stuttered turning to the side table while clutching the edge of bed with trembling hands. "Yes. It's all because of these. This, along with Mr. Kapoor's kindness and Sara Di's TED talk, is messing up with your mind."
The next moment, his laughter echoed in her mind while his smiling face flashed in front of her eyes.
She forcefully closed her eyes, her grip tightening over the wood, to shut him. Neither she wished to rehear his joke nor remember things he did last night.
But it's not just about his kindness, a voice whispered.
Her eyes opened on their own. She felt warm and weak, losing control over her yet again.
It was not just his smiley facade that brought tears to her eyes when Shivina called Shubham to perform Kanyadan. It was not merely empathy that made her stay back for the dinner — first lying to him about the feast at Maitri's house, then to her mother about not getting taxi due to Diwali and stuffing food again to avoid unnecessary speculations. If it was merely his kindness she would never waited for him in the mornings secretly hoping to run into him, or fought with him to keep him away.
He affected her in a way nobody did.
There is something in him that I'm drawn to.
Her mind wandered.
Something beyond those shining blue green eyes or that contagious toothy smile. Something I can't see or understand yet feel so intense that it makes me out of control. Be it my reckless behavior around him or the way I act on impulse whenever I see him hurt or alone, she paused, lost in his thoughts.
'You have began to like him, don't you?'
And you should have denied all her theories & assumptions. Instead you sat there tongue-tied, listening, agreeing to her.
She clenched the sheet cover in her fist.
But what if she spoke the truth? What if—
"Priya!!" She got up angrily. "You're going insane. And it's—" she glared at the medicines again— "It's because of them."
"Life has never been kind to you. Most of the men in your life have been trash. In consequence you are misinterpreting Mr. Kapoor's kindness. It's not what you're thinking. Aisa kuch nahi hain," she scolded herself.
She inhaled deeply to calm her nerves.
"You were unwell, Priya. You need rest." She hopped on her side of the bed and pulled the duvet. "Just sleep and you will be fine by morning."
She shut her eyes, hoping to forget and erase whatever happened tonight, a night before, and perhaps all other nights she had spent thinking about him.
"All you needed was a nice sleep and good shower," Priya beamed as she stepped out of the bathroom.
She felt victorious to wake up and start her day being in control, without pondering over her feelings, not realising that with this thought she exactly did that.
"You couldn't think straight due to your sickness and medication. To add to this, Mr. Kapoor's care and Sara Di's talk. I mean, you and Mr. Kapoor," she laughed, at least pretended to, "why on earth someone will think that!"
She kept the textbook and her diary in her bag, then started combing her hair.
"He is kind, good-looking, successful, super rich. Haan, the humble kind of rich not the kind you deal with in your college. He doesn't judge people on the basis on their financial status," she admitted.
"But doesn't mean there is some possibility of you two," the sane brain warned. "You two are not compatible. Besides life is not only about solving sibling & families issues, or discussing life problems and past."
She tied a ponytail.
"There is a world beyond that, specially in a relationship. Number of things come into the picture. Like if we decide to watch movie, he'll focus on the plot you'll be stuck at the rationality and the loopholes. If we go out on dinner, he'll focus the menu while you'll stare at the rates. If there is some party, he'll dressed up looking all handsome in his branded suit while you'll look like an old maid in one of your old festive dresses."
"And his watch," she said, wearing watch around her wrist, "it costs more than your salary."
"Not to forget his funky, chamkile shoes perfectly coordinating his colourful suits," she added. "Tu toh chappal totne par bhi muchi se thik karake mahino use karti hain."
"And didn't you see the kind of women he is surrounded by. The women in his life. Shivina, Nandini Aunty, Brinda, Vedika," she paused. "Maitri or Sandy least stand a chance, but you..."
She rolled her eyes.
"The truth is you don't fit in his world," she declared, her voice strong yet dispirited.
"Ek second," she spoke after a minute looking into the mirror. "You're thinking all this again! Aur ek second? Tu kabse unke jaise bolne lagi?"
She gritted her teeth and shook her head.
A while later, she looked in the mirror and said, "All men you knew had failed you at some point. Even Akki. It was wrong to put forth condition to get me married even after the possibility of Shivina's pregnancy. He might have backed off if the test was positive but that doesn't make it any right."
The rational mind tried to reason.
"Mr. Kapoor is the only honest, righteous man you have met and known personally. All this confusion is because of that. Agar woh yaha parso nahi aate toh shayad Sara Di woh sab nahi kehti aur nahi hi tere dimaag mein yeh sab aata. That's it." She exhaled sharply. "Now that everything is sorted between us, I will stop indulging in him like I had decided earlier. I will avoid him without making it obvious so he won't be hurt."
"Out of sight is out of mind, Priya." She hung bag on her shoulder repeating, "Out of sight is out of mind."
****
"Nah!" Ram tossed the seventh suit after checking the charcoal suit on himself in the mirror.
He realized his changing feelings for a girl only recently. Shouldn't he have the best impression on her?
"Not even this," he whined and flopped on the sofa holding his head.
Tarun tip-toed near the dressing table without alerting him. Apart from rain and food, his sir tend to be sentimental about clothes too. He picked up the suit carefully.
Ram glanced up at him.
He clasped the hanger in fear. "S..si...sor—"
"I don't have anything to wear, Tarun," his sir cried, then rushed to the piles of clothes on the bed.
"I had wore this last month. This looks so dull. Okay, this looks good. Nahi, the print on the shirt is awful." One by one he showed Tarun all his suits. "This. Had wore this too. And all this looks so formal and old-fashioned like I am one of those actor businessman in some daily soap Bri likes. I need new clothes, Tarun."
He managed to give a nod.
"You too think so, right?" He hurried to his phone, "Something new, fancy, casual, in accordance to the latest fashion trends."
Before he could dial to Aditya or Brinda, Tarun presented him with a suit. A white shirt with alternate grey and light pink color strips paired with dusty pink jacket and trousers. "Sir, you haven't worn his in really long time. This will look good on you," he dared to suggest.
Ram raised a brow at him, doubtful.
He twitched his mouth into a smile hiding the terror behind it, "Sacchi."
Ram dropped his mobile phone and took the suit.
He couldn't help but draw a soft smile as his sir tried the blazer and checked himself in the mirror, running a hand through this hair, smiling smugly.
Apart from his friends, Aditya and Brinda, if there was someone who had closely witnessed every phase in Ram's life, good or bad, happy or sad, it was Tarun.
Although he had joined Kapoor Urbans as an office boy, he impressed his bosses with his sincerity and exceptional managing skills. Within a year, Aditya entrusted him with responsibility of his dearest friend by making him his personal assistant. Ram, who had hard time remembering his employees namestarted calling everyone Tarun.
Tarun and his boss hardly talked. Their relationship was strictly professional yet he knew his sir in a way no one else did.
He was the one to serve him at mid night, or get his car ready at unusual times, or notice the almost invisible tear stained pillow cover, or refill his pill box and instantly know number of times he was anxious in the day, or make coffee at odd hours while he worked to keep himself distracted. He had seen his daily struggle even after he became the famous business tycoon. He would return to his house but yearn for a home. He lived with relatives but craved for a family. There was nothing he could do but be a silent spectator.
Tears shimmered in his eyes.
He glanced at the frame, then caught a glimpse of his sir and gently knocked on the edge of the door whispering, "Touch wood."
****
Priya kept down the pen as her phone buzzed.
Him: Aaj kahi bahar chale?
Her: No.
She answered in no time.
He, too, called her in no time.
"Why are you like this?" he began even before hearing her hello. "Without knowing the whereabouts you refused. Khud toh plan karti nahi, jo karta hain use bhi mana kar deti ho. Had hain," he paused to breath. "Ab kuch bologi?"
"If you let me to?"
"Bolo," he grumbled.
"Next month se prelims hain toh abhi coaching mein unki prep test hogi. Bohot kaam hain issilye mana kiya. I don't understand why you're overreacting?"
"Overreacting?" Ram exclaimed. "You didn't tell all this. Just a no. How was I suppose to know?"
"Fine. My mistake. Henceforth I'll mention the reason too."
"Henceforth? So you'll explain the reason but not agree."
"Mr. Kapoor!"
"Yes, Ms. Sood," he gritted his teeth.
"Mr. Kapoor..."
"Fine." He gave up. "How about bakery? After work?"
"Mr. Kapoor, I'm sorry, but I really can't. I have many tasks pending. I even have doubt solving sessions lined up this entire week," she admitted, guily.
He mumbled hum, followed by exchanging few words. Then they disconnected as she had to conduct a lecture.
Ram tossed his phone and sat back.
He was really excited to meet Priya that he had prepared a mental list of all the places they could go to, things they could do and what all he could talk to her. He was even prepared for her refusal given their history, but he had hoped they'll at least get to spend some time in the bakery.
But all in vain.
"Ab exams hain toh iss mein uski kya galti," he defended. "She works in an organization unlike you who owns one. Besides you have Adi, Vik, Kunal to manage anything. Even at the last moment. But Priya.. she doesn't have this leverage."
He took a cookie from the jar. "Moreover, you have realized these changing feelings not her. Honestly, whatever happened is for good. Now you will get some time to understand your feelings," he said munching the cookie.
Although he was excited and commanded himself to not think about other stuff and future possibilities, least for some days, he couldn't stop but wonder if it's all temporary?
What if it's something like rebound and he didn't actually like her that way? What if she is just a good friend and he was on his own for so long that he is misunderstanding his feelings for her?
He was unsure if he was having those feelings for her cause he really liked her or cause she is the only person he managed to really connect with after all these years.
"Nahi, Ram." He took another cookie. "You have to think this through. Your confusion could be a heartbreak for her. She has already suffered a lot. You cannot be another man hurting her."
He walked to the window. "It's better we stay away and I take some time to understand my feelings before meeting her."
****
Three days later, Ram was standing at the entrance of Sood house after battling with himself whether or not to meet Priya.
Sure he had taken time to understand his changing feelings while she is busy with her work, he couldn't really stay without meeting her.
I won't say anything stupid or act weird, he reassured. Go in the house, meet her and everyone and leave.
He took a deep breath before pressing the door bell.
Priya opened the door. Her eyes popped out. "Mr... Mr. Kapoor!?"
He smiled, trying to appear normal.
"Aap? Yaha? Aise achanak?" she managed to say after a moment. "Are you okay? I mean, what brings you here?"
"You."