Carina
One word, some would say one of the most important one syllable words to exist as a student. When your future balanced on the test scores and evaluations of instructors, the only things standing between you and the next one. It was a word I felt pride in seeing every time I took a test and one I longed for when the long sleepless nights didn't always seem like they were going to pay off the way I wanted.
Passed.
The word blurred with each passing second and I could barely see Maya as I looked up to meet her eyes, my laugh cleared my eyes because it forced the tears obstructing my view down. "I told you, a freaking rockstar."
Maya championed me and it felt amazing to have her support when for so long I had learned to do it myself. Develop a confidence in me that would be unshakable and unquestionable, and it had been until in fact chaos tore my life apart, forcing me to start from zero again.
Thankfully, I had Maya there from the beginning. In many ways I felt like we grew together, she had to learn that I wasn't going to judge her and love her all the same. I had to learn it was okay to be cared for and that I didn't always have to do things alone. We both had to learn that love wasn't conditional on what we could offer or our rankings.
Not that I was thankful for the chaos that brought me here, but looking at my beautiful wife with tears in her eyes too, and the semblance of a perfect life she has giving me... I felt blessed.
Still it felt weird to think of myself now as a 'rockstar', even the first time Maya had said it. Though as I looked again to this one syllable word I felt like one. That I could climb any mountain, cross any ocean, make love to my wife for hours until she fell asleep from how many orgasms I'd given her.
All things that seemed impossible and if Maya had in fact not been working, there was one I would definitely try to put to the test. Right now I just wanted to jump for joy and scream. "I-" I laughed because I was actually just speechless at the thought that I had finally accomplished a dream I had let go of years ago.
Maya came around her desk and helped me up before wrapping her arms around my waist to lift and spin me around. The action making me squeal in joy as her laugh echoed in my ears. I so loved when she read my mind. "Congratulations, Dr. DeLuca-Bishop."
Suddenly all that crossed my mind ease the ache I had for her, how being in her strong arms made me feel. She finally set me down and I looked over her soft face drinking me in, "Grazie amore, ugh I wish you weren't working." I curled my hand along the base of her throat, feeling the skin over her pulse point.
"I know, but we will celebrate this tomorrow as soon as I'm off shift okay? I promise!" Maya kissed me quickly, too quickly.
"That's not why I want you off shift." My low voice seemed to catch her attention, "I want to try," I whispered against her lips and I swore I saw Maya contemplate her entire career through her eyes. If I nudged her, she'd quit to just be able to take me home and ravish me. "You love your job."
"Right now, I hate it." I threw my head back to laugh and when I looked back at Maya she was pouting. "I'm a mess just thinking about the fact that you want to try."
"There's always your bunk... and you do need to be resting," I offered, I would love to be taken in her bunk right now. It would satiate so many things at once.
"Carina, for all I want to do to you, I think we need our own four walls." Fuck. Everything about that made my knees weak and I wanted everything going through her mind.
"Okay, then I will go home, and I'll wait for you there.." I eased back from her, almost forgetting I still 'needed' crutches. Pretending to stumble, Maya handed them to me and she looked apologetic. "Run home."
"Sprinting," she corrected. It only made my smile bigger as I turned to leave. This is exactly how I wanted to celebrate or recover from whatever the outcome was of the test.
Yesterday I made Gabri take me to do get new lingerie just for Maya. With the pretext that I wanted to try something different.
The drive home was quick, but the night felt long. It was like when you laid out your clothes before the first day of school except instead of dress pants and a blouse it was a floral black two piece that made my breasts pop and my ass seem enviable.
I woke up at 7am to rinse my body with rose body gel and put on the outfit I suspect wouldn't be on for long. I put on my robe on and waited.
Waited for what felt like an eternity!
My crutches were put away, the wine red cane helping me in the kitchen as I made coffee. I'd been practicing my steps and squats everyday. Every moment I was alone, building up my strength to show Maya how hard I'd been working just to work her up just as much.
The need for my wife fired under my skin like current, and it almost became too much as I heard keys jangle.
At exactly 8:10am the key jiggled the knob and I heard a small curse word followed by the key hitting the wood flooring outside our door. It made me laugh how clumsy Maya got when she was both nervous and excited.
The door finally opened and I sat over the edge of the bed, looking at my feet. When I looked up I saw Maya a little out of breath following the length of my legs. "Hey, you."
"Hey bella," I stood up, thankful I didn't wobble because the way Maya was looking at me had my knees weak. She was about to walk over to me when I held up my hand, "Wait."
Confusion took over her face and I smiled, bringing my hands to the knot of my robe. Maya was the end line, and with a breath I took a step and untied my robe. Before I could put my weight on it I looked up at Maya and let the robe go as I pressed my foot into the wood of our bedroom floor.
It landed as I brought my left one over. Slowly I walked to Maya who looked over me with teary eyes. Every step bringing her closer and every step still felt easier than the last. "Sorpresa."
When I made it to her, I put my hands on her shoulders and let the weight off my leg go. "You.. babe you walked."
"Mhmm, straight lines mostly, but I've been practicing and practicing. The first time it happened I was so shocked and overwhelmed. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to surprise you." She laugh cried before her eyes came up to meet mine.
"That's— it's amazing my love and," she looked so over my body with rosy cheeks and a quick swipe of her tongue over those beautiful soft pink lips I would make mine in no time, "You look incredible. Was this also for me?" Her hands came up over the high waisted fabric to trace the outline of my flanks with her hands.
"All of me is for you. Here, let's get these off of you." I pushed her coat off her shoulders, followed by her thermal shirt that cling to her beautiful torso. "Let's start with you and then go from there okay?"
Maya followed my lips as they came down to hers. The languished sigh escaped her as I pressed my lips between the opening she had already made for me. We both smiled into the change of position, her tongue already waiting for mine.
With each pass of our lips she loosened up more and, with every deep inhale between kisses I could feel the heat escaping through her mouth. Her tongue danced with mine so knowingly, nothing felt more comfortable.
There was so much passion in her kiss, and the noises she made into each one. It didn't take a scientist to know that Maya was wet inside of her pants. So when I opened them and reached inside, the only thing that surprised me was just how much of a mess she was. She smiled at my sigh, "All of me is for you too." She bit her lip as I pushed through her, releasing a desperate moan, "Fuck Carina, I'm all yours."
"Let me have you then," I requested. Except I didn't make it anywhere before she lifted me up and carried me to bed. An act that would have once cause pain now didn't. My hand fell from her as she let me fall on the bed.
Her lips attacked my neck and I willfully let her do whatever it is she wanted. To feel her so carnal against me again was all I ever wanted. "I just need you.." she bit my neck and I wiggled under her, "to taste every part of you.." her nose inhaled down my chest, "to be so lost in you until I forget my name." Her hands squeezed my hips.
Maya's words were undoing, I was throbbing against the soaked lingerie. The heat of her mouth as she sucked me through the fabric of the bralette. The pressure of her teeth around my covered areola made me moan. It shot straight through my core. The build was coming too fast, "Bambina, aspettare due secondi!"
"Why!? What's wrong," she stopped and hovered over me.
"Too fast, build me up slower." My hand caressed her face and she took a breath, relaxing her mind until she was softer. With a kiss to my palm. She started again.
Down my wrist and forearm. She forged a path with tongue back to my throat. "You taste so good," she hummed against my neck where she sucked and licked me. "As much as this is sexy, it has to go."
"It was never meant to stay on for long," I smirked and she pulled it up releasing me. "Take off your pants too bella, I want to see you."
So she did, with a step back she pushed down her jeans and underwear together. Almost forgetting her socks until I pointed them out which made me laugh. "Now these."
I lifted my hips and she dragged the soaked panties down my legs for us to both be open and exposed to each other. I'd never get tired of her face every time I was naked. Her eyes scrolled me like they'd never seen a woman naked before, her fingers cracked each other like she itches to touch. "I'm all yours too."
Her lavish smile eroded her face as she crawled up the foot of the bed so she could lay between my legs. Her soft lips found mine and she moaned at our chests pressing together. A closeness missed, because the feeling was far from forgotten.
With all my strength I pushed against her and rolled us over. It was a chase, to see who would get who first, but I'd longed to taste Maya again. Only getting teases from the times I'd seduced my way into her pants.
My breaths were quick and shallow as I kissed her neck and let myself get carried away at the taste and volume of her body. Every toned edge made me wetter, in my eyes she was perfection. I could look at her naked for only a second before need took me, but I could touch her all day every day, for the rest of my life.
It was heavenly to watch the way her hips would betray her when I sucked and bit her stiffened pink nipples. Her skin so smooth under my tongue, I could taste her lotion and the essence I knew was hers. The essence that drove my mind wild, and I never wanted to be away from again.
My hands roamed over her arms and squeezed her biceps, they felt so tight and full under my hands that I moaned into the valley of her perfect big breasts. "Carina, fuck!"
"Amo tutto di te.." the things Maya's body did for me. I loved how strong she was, how she took care of me and protected me with it. Her strength, both body and mind, were so fucking sexy.
Running my tongue over her firm abdomen had me wetter than she was. I could feel Maya's wetness already spreading over my chest. She was needy, and merda I just wanted to please her.
I pressed my chest in a little more and could feel her wetness so prominently. "Sei tutta mia."
"Carina, please!" She squirmed under my hold where I was using her forearms for balance. Her stomach moving up and down in languished deep breaths. She was so turned on and sensitive from my teasing.
Maya begging me for relief was so hot. I wanted to fuck myself against her until I came. She grunted as I climbed back up and sat over her stomach.
I took the hands that supported me and carried me so well and pinned them to the bed. "Carina I need you to touch me, please I'm going to explode." Her thighs pressed together in search of some relief.
"Shh, apri tuo occhi." Her eyes fluttered open and she looked down her body to see where my mouth had been. They widened as she saw the way I rolled myself against her, driving every moment with my left leg. Each thrust making my lips spread against her. "Can you see how wet I am for you?"
"Yes love.." she pulled against me, watching as I coated her belly. Her hips flexed and I knew she was pressing her thighs together harder aching for something to provide her with the pressure she needed, "You're killing me, fuck you're so hot and wet.
I slid up and pressed my chest to her mouth and she responded perfectly. Kissing and licking where I was coated and she hummed. "Do you like tasting yourself on me?" I sat back up and she looked at me with her dilated blue eyes. "Because I love tasting like you... hold onto me Captain Bishop." I let her arms go and offered my left hand. She took it in hers and smiled.
"Never letting go." She kissed my ring and I throbbed against her.
"Ti amo," I reached behind me and cupped her, "Spread your legs for me."
Maya brought her knees up and out, letting me have open access to her center. There was still no pain, there was achyness every time I rolled my hips, but it wasn't going to stop me from my goal. I was going to make my wife come over and over again. Pain or no pain.
I kept my eyes on her as I started to roll my hips against her. The tips of my two inner fingers finally slipping between her folds where I could feel her hot and throbbing. I could just picture how swollen she was from the feel.
With hard pressed small circles I started her build. Her head fell back into the bed gripping my arm as her breathing changed.
Her stomach was coated in me and I loved that she let me. That she didn't care if her skin tasted like me because she wanted me. She loved me more than any one person had. No one made me feel like she did.
I moaned at the feel of how tight she already was around my fingers and the perfect O of her mouth when I filled her. The tension of the muscles in her forearms and biceps as she held me from falling backward had me feral.
My pace was slow, until I couldn't take how good she felt. How beautifully submissive she was for me. My core was throbbing and I needed a release, I needed to see her come for me to be able to let go.
So I braced myself at the base of her sternum pumped her faster and Maya was by no means quiet she hadn't been the entire time, but the sounds her body let out when I curled my fingers and pumped against the spot she loved while I held pressure on her clit with my palm, did ungodly things to my body. "Just like that babe— holy mother—"
Her grip on my arm tightened as she lashed herself under me fighting what I was building in her and the rosiness of her skin turned a bright red. The veins in her neck prominent as air became hard to pull in. My forearm burned, but I pushed through the pain all to see the face she made as I brought her over the edge.
"Fuck fuck fuck, Carina I'm coming! Fuck I'm coming- no wait fuuuuuckkkk!" Her death grip on my hand was all she had to try and keep it back. Ultimately failing.
There was no use, our sheets were a mess, the mattress probably too. Her undoing brought me so close too that edge. When the flutters calmed down I moved my soaked hand between my legs and rubbed myself with her as I watched her try to calm down from her orgasm.
It wouldn't take long, I just needed.. fuck! I started getting frustrated with that edge that wouldn't fall over. "Here let me." Her voice forcing my eyes open.
I slid back enough for her to sit up begrudgingly, still in her recovery period and she wrapped her arms around my waist. The edges of her face sweaty and her neck sticky.
Her hand slid between us and I whimpered at the feel of her. "I missed feeling you, the things you do to me Carina. That was so good."
My hands tucked her into my chest and when she slipped inside of me I let out a cry. "Mi manchi amore.."
"I'm right here, where I belong. Can you feel me?" She curled against me and her lips found my neck, kissing me and nipping at my pulse point. Still breathing heavy against me.
My belly swooned, flutters filled my body with anticipation. My hips rocked over her fingers and the gentle addition of her thumb was pushing against that edge that no longer felt far.
"You're everything to me, please come for me." It was gentle but by no means unsatisfying.
It jostled my whole body and when the bliss hit my head I was euphoric. The perfect orgasm that felt like clarity.
My breaths were heavy against her temple, her fingers helping me come down until she fell back and took me with her, no strength left to keep herself up when I was resting my whole weight against her.
We plopped back on the bed and she exhaled loudly, "Shit," she laughed, "I missed this." She turned her head to where I now rested against her shoulder, "Was that okay?"
All I could do was hum because I had not felt that kind of release in months and it was everything. There was not sharp pain, post orgasm spasms, nothing, everything felt satiated and loose. I hummed again and smiled at how good I felt.
Her soft chuckle made my eyes open, I loved watching her laugh. She ran her fingers lightly over my face and smiled as she smoothed out my sweaty hair, "I love your face after an orgasm, you look so serene."
"Hmm really?" I smiled into her shoulder and she looked up at the ceiling with the cockiest grin on her face. I raised myself onto my left knee, "You're smiling oddly wide for a woman who didn't just come all over our sheets."
Her smile faded as I started to kiss down her body, "Carina wait.." she stopped when I swiped my tongue over the area I had rubbed myself against, continuing down, "I was joking!"
I sucked on her hip bones and she squirmed. "Oh?" I asked innocently laying between her legs and tucking my arms under thighs so I was hovering right over beautifully glistening swollen sex. "Did you forget how much you love when I do this?"
I parted her with my tongue and her back arched off the bed. There was no teasing, I savored her, and explored her intentionally. Maya pulled on my hair as I sucked her clit into my mouth, I hummed as I felt her throbbing against my tongue.
My fingers filled her and provided exactly what she needed to tighten around as I swirled around and around. Her taste a delicacy, all mine to have.
Her orgasm came with a loud yell of my name and it only made me hungrier for more. "Okay okay, fuck!" She wiggled under me telling me she was too sensitive and needed a second. I kissed her clit ever so lightly, providing comfort. "There's no reason your tongue should be that good."
A laugh escaped me as I kissed the inside of her thighs. "Hmm I can't remember if yours is."
"Oh I'll gladly remind you," she said, reaching down and helping me up so she could turn us over and position herself between my legs, "Let's try this again."
She kissed me deeper and pressed her thigh into me, every swirl of her tongue in my mouth made me needier. The path of her hands, gentle until they found their destination between my legs.
She wasted no time in penetrating me with her two inner fingers. My moan provided her the perfect escape down my throat. Her caress inside me was soft and deep. "Did you miss me inside of you?"
"Yes, I missed how you fuck me. You know just how to touch me.. Oi!"
"Don't hold back." Her mouth was the opposite of her fingers, it was desperate and hungry. One would think I've starved her for months and in many ways I did. This time there was no hesitation, I let her ravished my skin and suck at my chest. Every toothy suck on my nipples awoke a part of me I had made go to sleep.
My eyes followed her path down and when she settled between my legs and her bright blue eyes came up to meet me. "All yours bambina," I said widening my legs and offering myself to her.
She smiled and dove tongue first between the folds of my sex and that initial contact was unholy, definitely sinful. Pleading for mercy was out of the question because I wanted every part of the earth shattering orgasm I was about to have.
Her tongue flicked me up and down, up and down, matching the pace of her suddenly quick fingers. "Merdaa!"
My hands found my hair as my legs closed around her head and tightened. I felt everything all at once, and I was dripping. The sound of my own wetness tickling my ears until my moans drowned out the sound and then pressure over took my ears. It felt so divine.
I latched onto blonde hair and bucked my hips, "Maya! Vado venire!" It crashed into me quickly after that and it rippled through my whole body until it calmed enough to let me breathe.
Her fingers stayed inside me as she cleaned me up and followed her path back up, "What's 'venire'?"
"Come." I said between recovery breaths and she laughed.
"Thank you for the 2 second warning." Her mouth glistened and I brought it down to kiss her hard. She moaned against my mouth as I sucked myself off her lips. There was something lascivious about loving the way Maya tasted of me, and I of her. "Again?" She asked when I started to roll my hips again.
"We have a lot of time to make up for." I said before continuing to kiss her. She smiled against my lips and started to moved faster. SOOO much time to make up for.
___________________
Maya laid asleep next to me face down and her legs spread, giving me an eyeful of her red marked ass. Maybe I got a little carried away during that last round, but I would never take it back. Wearing out Maya was a challenge and I lived for it.
We passed out a hour ago and the only reason I woke up was because I had thought it was all a dream. Spending the day having sex with my wife felt like a dream I wouldn't be able to have or handle again.
It was 5pm and we hadn't exactly stopped to eat or stopped at all except to have drinks of water. The empty hydro flasks on our night stands laid dry.
My leg was sore, but all of me felt a very delicious sore. A bit achy, but after 6 orgasms that still felt like a win. We needed to change the sheets and shower, but Maya also needed sleep. She was such a peaceful sleeper, only moved when she had a nightmare.
With remorse, I'd have to shower alone. I leaned over and kissed her back, not even slightly guilty for the scratches left behind. "Hmm," she stirred, "5 more minutes, my jaw hurts."
I smiled against her back and moved over her ear, "Sleep bella, I'm going to shower and make us some food."
"I'm up!" She turned and looked at me, "We can shower together."
I laughed harder, "As much as that does sound lovely... Sleep Maya, I'll be quick." I tried to roll away and she tackled me to the bed.
"No, I want to shower with you." She pouted and I couldn't help but smiled as I finally broke free and rolled out of bed.
"Come on then." I motioned as I limped towards the bathroom, hearing the bed as she jumped out.
After an eventful shower, we had some very delicious Thai takeout while looking at some of the housing options she gave me for my birthday. One was having an open house in a few days and we signed up to go see it. The prospect of house hunting gave me butterflies.
Once we settled on a couple of necessities our future home would need to have we ended up cuddling on our couch, staring at the unused chimney. My head laid on Maya's chest while she ran her hands moved through my hair.
Maybe we'd never light it again. There had to be some sort of irony in being married to a firefighter and being terrified of fire. Me and the stove even had a very distant relationship now.
My wife had gotten better with the months, nightmares no longer startling her awake. My progress seemed slower. I used to light candles when I showered, while I read, and no one more than I enjoyed a nice candle lit dinner. Now even burnt garlic made me anxious.
Just adding to the list of things I was sensitive to. Loud noises, screaming, open flames, the smell of smoke. Though I couldn't blame the fire for the half of that list.
My father had already been here for two days and I wouldn't have been able to tell had Andrea not let me know that he was here. Apparently he seemed to have no ulterior motives for his visit other than to do just that. Visit.
I wondered how long he'd go without talking to me or about me for that matter. This was expected, the silence, the misdirection. He wanted me to know he was here, his own way of continued torture. That was my guess anyway. Paola knew where his passport was, even she seemed surprised by the trip, but there was no sign of him being unwell.
All things pointing to this being the same silent punishment he started when my mother left. A constant reminder that he blamed me for her leaving. What's worse is it always worked. My father knew just how to get under my skin like no one else could.
"What's going through your head?" Maya's voice broke me away from my intrusive thoughts.
I did what I always did when I wanted to hide away, "7 orgasms in one day may not be enough," I joked.
"We could try to break that record another day, now what's really on your mind?" She lifted my head up enough to look at me, "Talk to me, Rina."
"He's not going to call, and I hate that I still think he will come around and try." I laid back down on her chest, nuzzling myself between her breasts.
"He acts like he only has one child." There was sourness in her words and I knew Maya had developed a dislike for my father, which hurt, but I had one for hers and it was our reality.
"In his mind he does. After my mother left, he didn't know who else to blame. Andrea has always been his chosen child to carry on his legacy. I cemented it when I chose my specialty. It didn't matter how much I helped him, made sure he ate, slept, I even helped with research...
"I was there always. There were even times he be so unwell he wouldn't get out of bed and I'd have to care for him. That's when he'd reach out for me, only when he was down or vulnerable and would not want anyone else to see him." I nuzzled her chest deeper, "When he was good and I could get him to take medication, he would invite me to dinners and dancing. But the moment anything went wrong, it was my fault or he would lash out. He blamed me for everything and was satisfied by nothing. Always up and down, left and right, sometimes all in one day or hmm.." I trailed off, tiring even myself with oversharing.
"That must have been hard." Her hand slowly moved up and down my back, comforting me.
"I could handle it," I affirmed. I had to handle it. If not me who else? He was my father.
"Doesn't mean you had to or have to keep handling it. I know you always check in with his assistant, Andrew says you make sure his house is paid and maintained." Andrea was growing a habit of disclosing my information to Maya without letting me know. I'd have to remind him of that pillow.
I furrowed my brows and lifted off her chest, "I have to. Andrea sucks at keeping tracks of those things. His assistant makes sure he isn't working when he's manic and checks in when he doesn't show up for work. She's more of a healthcare aid that reports to me. She's a trained Nurse Practitioner, if she quits I'd have to go back. He's fired Paola more times than I can count, but he also knows she keeps his books."
"Carina that's a lot for one person to do. You have enough to manage, your brother says he can help and you don't let him." Maya sat up with me and I rolled my eyes.
"He should focus on himself," I shook my head, "My brother has to manage with his own health and job. He should be able to do that without being overwhelmed. Papa is very brutal at times and- NO, it's just better if I make sure of these things, to make sure they get done." The last thing I wanted was for my father's venom to infect Andrea's life more than it had. He still had this optimistic version of him, and I wanted him to be able to keep it.
"Andrew is a grown man, I'm sure your father's assistant can handle it and between the both of you—"
"Maya the last time I stopped keeping track of my father so I could focus on my career someone almost died. He almost killed someone again. So no. Then the last time my brother became overwhelmed because of his work and personal life he ran out into a blizzard and almost lost his hands. So no." I stood up and limped over to the kitchen for a breather.
"You said again?" Maya asked me hesitantly from the other side of the dining room table. I grimaced at the realization that I had let slip that puny little word. Now I felt I knew there was no escaping telling Maya. I trusted Maya, infinitely, she was my wife.
"My father was a very well known surgeon once, everyone came to him..." I'd never told anyone and as far as I knew neither had Andrea, which made us and papa's lawyer the only people. Gabriella only knew of the almost tragedy. Now I was about to make Maya the fifth person who knew. "When I was a teenager he used to go days without eating, sleeping, or doing anything but working. Then during his manic episode when I was 15, he operated on 7 people and 4 of them never made it back to their families."
"Carina.."
"He got away with it. He had the money and the connections. My mother left him because she could not stand by him anymore after it. During my fellowship he insisted he could perform a surgery no one else dared at the time, again he hadn't slept for 180 hours, 7 days. The patient barely made it, but now lives with extreme functional limitations." I let out a breath. It had been something I kept for years, Andrea didn't even know about the most recent one that got his license permanently revoked, all he was allowed now was research, again because of his connections.
"They aren't your fault Rina." Maya didn't understand, I told my mom I'd watch him. That I could handle him. Yes I understood it was a lot to put on a child, but it happened when I was a woman. I should have known better than to trust he would be okay. "They aren't."
"You don't get it." I shook off her words.
"No. I don't." She huffed and looked around for word until she seemed to find some and returned her gaze to me. "Remind me again how my accomplishments weren't my fathers, and that they were mine."
"Maya— hmmm what does that have to do with anything?" I threw my damp hair over.
"If my accomplishments weren't my fathers then my failing weren't either. Your fathers failing and mistakes and actions are not your fault because you didn't do them. Babe you can't blame yourself for not being everywhere and everything all the time, it's too much," she urged.
Deep down I knew that, I knew I couldn't fault myself, but I had promised my mother when she left that I would watch out for him. Then I promised her the same thing before her passing, to care for him and Andrea. "It's easier said than done."
"That I understand." She approached me and I sighed as she came into my proximity, "I don't like what he does to you when he's close, your mind goes quiet. Though now I see how you get about my dad."
"Our fathers are such treasures." I joked and her lip quirked up. "Can we go to bed? Maybe I'm just tired and I don't want to talk about him anymore."
"Do you want me to carry you? You look uncomfortable," She asked carefully wrapping her arms around my waist.
"I just think you like carrying me." I arched my brow at her and she smiled as she lifted me onto the small kitchen island we had. "The faith you have on this cart."
"Mhm," she hugged me closer. "So did you make up your mind about the barbecue? I know it's a little scary, but you can sit far away from it and if you feel even a little anxious we can leave. I just want to make an appearance since it's for Pru."
"We can go for a little while, the open house ends at 6 so we can go see it after or earlier if it becomes too much." I hated that I couldn't go with her to the team barbecues, but the idea of being consumed by smoke was overwhelming. For Maya I wanted to try.
"You got it," she nuzzled my nose and smiled at me so warmly, "My love I want you to know that nothing of what you told me changes my view of you. I'm glad you trusted me to tell me and let me understand you a little more. Thank you for trusting me."
Her words comforted me, and these blue eyes never lied to me. Maya looked at me all the same, from the kitchen to where she brought us back to our room. She'd reacted better than I would have thought and I felt all the more blessed to have her as my wife. The person I would do life with. Maya gave me hope, the way she loved me was infectious and I only wanted more, to multiply it. There is no one I trusted more, no one.
***
When we got to the park there were red balloons everywhere and kids from Pru's daycare running around chasing each other. The barbecue was on one side of the park and the wind was favorably blowing away from the picnic tables. I found the furthest one from the smoke and reserved it while Maya went to find us food and drink. I waved at everyone from a far, hoping they wouldn't ask Maya why I was so far away.
With one leg in and one leg out, I straddled the picnic bench so when Maya came back I could face her and rest my chin on her shoulder. We ate our burgers, Victoria making her rotations had come to sit with us. Victoria was nagging Maya over the drills she had scheduled during their next shift and was trying to talk to us. "We have to stay on top of it, we are only as good as our team Vic."
"Carina, come on help us out! A-shift is the best in the house and if we are going to give the others a chance then we should be able to skip the drills," Victoria pleaded with me as if I had the answers to that.
"Why are you asking my wife? Vic, Carina doesn't tell me what to do." She crossed her arms and I raised an eyebrow.
Victoria gave me a knowing look and I winked at her before looking back at Maya and whispered in her ear, "Remind me, who had you bent over the coffee table last night being a very good girl?"
Maya's face went red and she looked at me while she swallowed the saliva the memory conjured up. "That's different."
"What is? Ohhh Bishop you gotta spill the beans!" Vic insisted and I just laughed, "Oh come on! DeLuca you gotta answer the golden question for us."
"She will be doing no such thing!" Maya exclaimed, making me laugh.
"Sorry Victoria, I do listen to my wife," I stated and hugged Maya closer to my body for me to rest my face on her shoulder. Maya smiled confidently at her friend and I turned to her friend, "In public anyway."
"Carina!" Maya looked down at me and I laughed.
"What?" I smiled and Victoria raised her eyebrow, "Don't give me that look, I've said too much already. Go let your team know that the drills will be happening." The youngest of us left and I turned to see how the little ones ran by. It made me laugh every time one tripped or would do something simple as he play with their feet. So much joy in such tiny bodies, it was absolutely adorable.
"One would think you find joy in them falling." Maya laughed as she caught my line of sight.
"They are just so little, and fall so easily because their center of gravity is slightly shifted by their slightly bigger heads," I pinched my hands together to mimic their smallness. My arms wrapped around her neck and I pressed a kiss into her cheek as I rocked her softly. "I want a little blonde one."
Goosebumps rose on her skin and before she could reply, Maya turned around to see Pru tugging on her shirt to get attention, "Autie Ya, be coach cuz you wun fast!" We were both confused until we saw her team looking at us with raised beers. I guess it was Maya's punishment for running drills.
Maya laughed and looked down at the little girl with big dark eyes, "Of course, I can do that!" She kissed me before jumping up and letting Pru drag her to the patch of grass on the other end where all the kids were lined up.
Pru apparently wanted Maya to time them while they ran from tree to tree doing sprints. It made sense since Dean was cooking and Pru was so fascinated by the fact that Maya was an olympian. She always wanted to play with Maya's medal.
I watched Maya supervise the kids, the way she would subtly jump when one tripped. The task had her on edge and she would laugh every time she'd run over to pick one only to see they were giggling and getting right back up.
At some point Maya exhausted herself from running after every kid that fell and sat down against a tree while Pru sat on her lap talking to her about who knows what.
"Bishop looks like quite the family person doesn't she?" That voice is recognize anywhere. I stood up to greet her.
"Chief Ross, pleasure to see you again," I said amicably and she shook my hand when I offered it.
"You too, Dr. DeLuca," she smiled and went back to looking around. "Hard to picture her like this. She seems so good at it."
"She's better at it than she thinks. But then again she's pretty good at anything so, I'm very lucky." I championed Maya to her boss, hoping she would see the qualities that made her a good leader.
"I've just never been good at kids, probably because I never planned for them so getting along with them wasn't really a goal. Thought Bishop would be the same since they aren't in your plans either. Guess you can be both." She said and it completely took the wind was knocked out of me.
"I- I'm sorry, not in our plans?" I asked her again.
"Well yeah, and that's fine I mean not everyone wants to have children. Though it's very apparent that you two would do amazingly- I'm saying I understand DeLuca," she said, putting a soft hand on my forearm that laid cross over my other arm to shield myself.
The punch in the gut that somehow seemed to worsen by the minute. This woman was fully under the impression we weren't considering children. I would have asked why she thought that, but there must have been something Maya said to make her think that.
My eyes searched the park and I locked eyes on my wife's who was looking over at us terrified. I couldn't help but feel disappointed, to feel a little betrayed by the lack of consideration.
Maya quickly walked over to where we stood stood, "Chief Ross."
"Bishop! Hey, I was just telling your wife that you are really good with the little ones. You two would be lovely parents but I more than anyone understand that not everyone wants kids. I'm going to go say my hello's," she said before smiling at me and dismissing herself.
There was no way to look at Maya and not feel a little ashamed, so I looked everywhere else and then looked down at my watch. It was almost 4 o'clock and we needed... there was a house to go see. "If you still want to look at the house we should go."
"Of course I do Carina." Her head bobbed in an almost humorous way. What is the point of the huge house? If it's just us, the apartment was just fine and it was already paid for.
"Tell everyone bye for me, I need to make a call so I will wait for you in the car." I grabbed my things and started for the car leaving her standing there.
I dialed Amelia immediately needing to calm down before I ripped my wife's head off.
-"Hey pretty lady, what's up?"
"I might just kill Maya. Or cry. Or both. I don't know what to do." I felt overwhelmed, still unbelieving that Maya failed to mention this information to me.
-"Whoa okay, one: violence is never the answer, two: take it 4 steps back and breathe."
I did just that I took breathes and calmed myself down until she stopped counting and asked me what was wrong, "She decided something without me, something monumental. It's like Linc deciding you were getting married without consulting you."
-"Oh I'd kill him."
"See! And I don't want to kill her, I love her, but I'm hurt that he decided something without me. That I wasn't even made aware that we were telling people about this yet to be discussed situation. She had promised we could talk about so now I'm angry!" I pressed myself into the seat, hot air escaping me.
-"Then be angry, you have to talk to her about it once you've calmed down."
"We are going to look at a house, how do I do that without wanting to bite her head off." I could see Maya walking towards the car, her hands spinning her wedding ring.
-"Breathe and I suggest you try—"
Maya opened the door before I got a chance to hear the advice, "I have to go Amelia, bye." I hung up the phone and put it into the car mout so I could pull my seatbelt over.
"Do you want to talk about whatever it was that Ross told you?" She asked and I shook my head.
"What's the address?" I started the car and Maya put it into the navigation system. My car roared as I drove away from the park. In silence except for the music playing over the system. Nothing seemed to calm the feeling in my chest, she ripped away a dream without even discussing it with me.
She gave me her word we would talk... how could she do this?