The calm before the storm. That's what these moments feel like. An odd sense of overwhelming tranquility that likely entails destruction.
Everything was too pleasant, too happy, too nice.
I sat the kids down on the bleachers as the show was preparing to begin, the sky is dark and the stars are shining and there's no moon to illuminate the darkness. There was an eerie feeling creeping into my heart that made me a little nauseous.
Falco had taken Reiner somewhere while I was in the bathroom, and now I have to find him because Zeke will probably be mad if I don't. He's supposed to be my partner.
I walk away from the bleachers that held up Marleyan troops, and wandered to a slightly illuminated back alley. The light came from a door, and the door revealed stairs.
The faint hum of conversation leads me down the stairs and through a dim corridor. There's a door at the end, open a crack.
Eren sits on a wooden chair, Reiner on a chair across from him, Falco stands between the two. The corridor is too dark for them to notice me, so I bask in it instead of stepping forward.
"Why are you here?" Reiner, whose back is to me, asks Eren.
"Same as you."
Reiner's hands go to his head, in stress, and he takes shallow and rigid breaths.
"Don't you get it?" Eren continues monotonously. "I'm the same as you. I don't have a choice."
My heart drops as applauds sound from outside.
"Looks like the show's started. Let's hear what he has to say."
Tybur explained the story of Paradis and King Fritz.
"Hear that, Reiner?" Eren's voice brings my attention back to him. "That's why you destroyed the walls, right? To save the world. Isn't that right?"
Falco looks like he's about to cry. And I decide to step in, swinging the door open. Eren looks up at me, his eye goes a little wide in surprise.
"What's going on?" I ask Eren, who is in the disguise of Kruger.
"You're supposed to be with Zeke," he responds flatly.
Falco inches over to me and I reach out, grabbing his hand in mine. "What's going on?" I ask again, sternly.
His eyes are void of emotion now as Tybur's speech continues.
Eren begins to regenerate his leg, Falco's grip tightens. Reiner looks back at me, hurt evident in his saddened eyes. And he frowns at me in disappointment.
"You tricked me..." Falco murmurs from beside me. "Even though I trusted you and respected you."
"Sorry, Falco," Eren keeps his eyes on me as he talks to Falco. "You've been a big help." He pauses. "Y/N," Eren doesn't bat an eye at Falco's terror. "Sasha will assist you."
Falco gasps, his eyes are tearing up and he looks up at me, twisting his hand out of my grip. The expression he shares is the same as Reiner's. "I trusted you! What the fuck!" He falls against the wall. "No... What have I done?"
"There you have it," Eren says, referring to Willy Tybur's speech. "I'm a bad guy. I might even destroy the world. But to me, you looked like bad guys too." He's looking at Reiner now.
"I remember what you said back then," Reiner looks distraught, but a bittersweet relief is hidden behind the fear in his eyes. "You said you'll make sure we suffer the worst death imaginable. You promised. Isn't that what you're here for?"
Eren glances at me, as if he were a little embarrassed by what Reiner had just said. "Oh. I guess I did say something like that. Just forget I said that," he scratched his cheek, looking down. "It's true that there was a time when I saw everyone across the ocean as my enemy. But I crossed that ocean, slept under the same roof as my enemy..."
"Reiner," he continues, "I'm the same as you. Yeah, there's people here that piss me off. But there's people I..." He takes a deep breath, looking at me and then at Falco "Admire." He pauses.
"Across the ocean, inside the walls. They're all the same. But you were taught that the people inside the walls were demons," he looks at me, Reiner and Falco with blank eyes. "That's what they pounded into little kids who didn't know any better." He looks at Reiner. "What could a little kid like you have done? Tell me, Reiner. You've been suffering this whole time haven't you?"
Reiner falls out of his chair, hunched over in front of Eren, and I can tell he's losing his mind. I step forward instinctively to pry him off the floor. But he begins raising his voice at Eren. "No!" He yells. "You're wrong, Eren! That day Marcel died, Annie and Bertolt wanted to stop everything and go home." I freeze, taking a step back, a saddened frown on my face. "But I forced them to keep going, I wanted to be a hero!"
Reiner looks up at me, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I wanted to be respected! It's all my fault! It's my fault we lost Annie and Bertolt!" He sobs, looking at Eren. "It's my fault your mother got eaten by a Titan!"
My hands begin to shake and I feel a certain resentment for Reiner that I had never felt before.
"Please, just kill me," Reiner sniffles.
Eren looks at me, "get out of here," his voice lowers an octave when he addresses me, tender. He stands up. "Before it's too late."
My legs are frozen in place as I glance at Reiner. And I turn and run down the corridor and up the stairs.
I stop in my tracks and turn back around, changing my mind. I should stop whatever's happening. Not run away. I'm done with running away. And Falco. I need to save Falco.
But it's too late.
A bright light engulfs me like a thick blanket, blinding me for a few seconds. I hear screams, shouts, my name being called, and chaos. I hear war.
"Don't worry, Ms. Y/N! You'll be okay!" I hear Colt's voice. He's clutching me to his side, Gabi is on his other side and he's got his arms around us both protectively.
People are running around us, Gabi is screaming, and I feel a certain fear in my veins I hadn't felt before.
I jolt myself out of the stunned state I'm in and get on my feet. A repeated banging is all I hear, and then it suddenly stop and the dust settles a little.
A chill runs down my spine at the sight, and at the destruction I'm surrounded by. The War Hammer Titan stands up, and I'm only a few feet from them, craning my neck up to look at the two giants.
Fear and despair has claimed my body, and I want to cry and scream at the same time.
Colt grabs my arm, dragging me towards a little boy I know too well. Udo. He lays bludgeon on the ground. Colt picks Udo up in his arms, telling me to take him to the hospital.
Udo is so bloody, he is beyond recognition. His carefully combed hair is askew and his eyes are dull, almost lifeless. The sight of the little boy in such pain makes me angry at Eren and Reiner.
I can hear cannons being set off, more screams and cries.
"I need to find Falco," I tell Colt. "Take Udo and Gabi to safety. I'll find Falco, don't worry," I give him a reassuring smile.
He's got tears in his eyes but he nods, "thank you!" He bows his head a little before taking off, running towards the hospital.
I run back to the dispute between the two Titans, the War Hammer Titan swings again and the blow sends me flying back, the debris suffocating me. I hear a familiar zipping, followed by a small explosion. I wipe my eyes and get on my feet again.
My heart breaks and my blood boils at the same time. There are so many hurt civilians, so many innocent children and mothers, so many dead bodies. So much blood. Too much innocent blood and it's making me sick. How could Eren hurt innocent people?
And this was the same thing Eren saw when the walls were destroyed. This was the same chaos he endured as a kid. How could Reiner hurt innocent people?
How come the two people I love most on Earth are exactly the same?
I feel a resentment for both of them now. And the stress, the anxiety, it's way too much and my body hurts.
I look down at the jarring pain and heaviness in my abdomen. The dark shirt I wear displays a big metallic rod impaling my stomach, and I immediately begin coughing up blood.
But I need to find Falco.
I run towards the building that is now rubble, but it was definitely where we were.
The fight between the two titans continues, the Scouts have joined in now. But seeing them gives me no relief. All I feel is anger, pain, fear.
Perhaps Eren was right. I really do destroy everything in my path.
"Y/N!" Porco's arms are around me, holding me in place. He looks down at me as I try to squirm away towards the building. "Get to safety, dammit! What's wrong with you?!"
"Falco's in there," I tell him, getting out of his grip. "I need to find him. He's hurt. And Reiner!" I didn't understand why Reiner's name was still on the tip of my tongue after his confessions.
He sighs, "okay. But take this," he hands me a rifle he had secured in this pants. "If you die, I'll fuck you up," he pushes me gently towards the building. And he immediately transforms into his Titan, swinging towards the Attack Titan.
I don't look at the aftermath of it, I dive into the rubble and dig with my bare hands.
Behind me, the Beast Titan has also appeared. And so has the Cart. I can't see Porco from here, but I can only hope he's okay.
The ground beneath me shakes, and a pod of sorts snakes out of the ground.
There's a small opening in it, Falco pokes his head out and looks at me, terror in his eyes, as if I'm here to hurt him.
"Falco!" Relief overcomes me. He runs to me, crawling out of the pod. His eyes are trained on the wreckage behind me, but he runs into my arms anyway.
"That's Kruger?" He whimpers, referring to Eren's Titan. "I can't believe..." He hugs me tightly and I pat his back in an attempt to comfort him.
"Where's Reiner?" I pull away from him, my hands on his shoulder. "Is he okay?"
Falco gestures back to the pod. "He's in there. He saved me when Kruger... When Eren Jaeger..."
My heart breaks at the little boy's despair and grief. And I hold his hand in mine tightly before we enter the pod. The space is just small enough for me to fit through, and Falco follows suit.
I slide down onto the fleshy inside of the pod, and right in the middle of it is Reiner's upper body. His eyes are closed and he lays dormant.
Even in a state like this, he looks eerily beautiful.
"He's alive," Falco says, checking Reiner's neck for a pulse. "He's just unconscious! But..."
"He's not regenerating." I finish his sentence. "Because he doesn't have a will to live—" I begin coughing, and Falco turns to me, worried.
"You're hurt!" He grabs me by the arm and pushes me down so I'm sitting. "If you use too much energy, you're going to..."
He trails off at my expression. "I'm going to go get help. Stay here, where it's safe."
"Don't," I grab his arm. "I need to get you to Colt."
He twists out of my grip, it wasn't hard for him because the loss of blood has made me weak.
"You betrayed us," Falco murmurs. "But you came back for me and Reiner. Why?"
"I only betrayed Marley," I breathe heavy, trying not to cough. "They're the enemy. You, Gabi... Colt, Reiner... Pieck and Porco and... Udo and Zofia, you guys are what's left of my family. And the people on Paradis, they're my family too."
He looks like he wants to cry as he shakes his head, a mix of emotions evident in his eyes. "You'll understand it someday, Falco," I tell him, "But right now, you need to trust me."
He nods. "Mr. Braun trusts you, so I will too," he looks back at Reiner. "Stay here. Try to hold out a little bit longer." He tells me before crawling out of the pod. I protest, calling after him, but he doesn't listen. He's gone.
"Reiner," I groan, the pain overwhelming me as I lay my head back against his creation. The pod is warm, almost comforting, and the sounds of destruction are muffled here, almost like a distant memory.
And I can see why Reiner has chosen to rest here. To stop moving forward.
I crawl to him, clutching my stomach. "Wake up, Reiner," I tell him, cradling his face in my bloodied hands. "Wake up!"
He doesn't.
"Please, wake up, I'm sorry," I know I'm crying and I know it's pathetic but I can't help it. "You gotta save yourself and our friends and the kids. Please."
Nothing.
The ground beneath me trembles and there's a blinding light outside, followed by the loudest booming noise I have ever heard.
I muster up all my strength and climb out of the pod, fearing that what I'll see will kill me inside.
On the horizon is a big Titan. The Colossal. I run aimlessly, trying to find a familiar face. But there's no one. Everything has been ruined. Everything is gone.
My home is destroyed.
The Beast Titan falls to the ground in front of me, nape all bloodied. And on top of him stands none other than Levi.
He looks down at three figures to my left. And I make them out to be Falco, Gabi and Commander Magath.
I run towards them, covering them with my body just as Levi sets off a bomb of sorts.
Somewhere above me, Pieck is shooting at the Scouts, but my ear drums are ringing and I can't make out anything.
So many screams and gunshots and explosions.
The Cart Titan falls to the ground behind us. "Pieck!" But screaming her name does nothing.
"Let's go! Finish it off!" I hear Jean's familiar voice. He soars above me, heading towards Pieck.
"Don't shoot! Please stop!" Falco has slipped away and he's covering Pieck, arms spread out in protest.
I run straight towards him. Jean isn't the compassionate type, especially when it comes to us. I cover Falco, holding him to my chest and looking up at Jean.
His eyes widen and he sends the long metallic fiery weapon flying towards us. He misses, and it hits a the building behind us instead. The debris almost sends me and Falco flying, but I hold my ground.
"Y/N..." Pieck says my name weakly. Behind me, her body protrudes from the nape of the Cart. Her mouth is bloody and she looks deathly pale.
Fear overcomes me once again as I think back to Udo.
"Run away... Hurry..." Pieck murmurs weakly.
Commander Magath and his troops shoot up at the Scouts just as Gabi and Falco drag Pieck's body away to safety.
I follow Gabi and Falco, but my legs are growing weak and my breath is shallow, bloodied coughs are suffocating me.
"Fuck, you're gonna die if you don't get medical treatment."
"Yeah, no shit," I say between coughs to the man behind me.
"Do you want me to kill you right here? I'll do it, I swear." I could hear the smile in his voice.
I look up at him, the world growing a little hazy. It's Floch. "Hey, Floch."
"Hey, Y/N. Eren, told me to look out for you if Zeke couldn't." He smiles a little, and then looks up at the sky. He scoops me up against his chest with one of his arms, and he holds a device with his other hand. And we're soaring.
The wind is in my hair and I forget about the pain in my abdomen for a second, enjoying the moment.
He sets me down on a roof top, and I hear someone yelling my name. "They've taken Y/N L/N!" It's Commander Magath.
"Y/N!" Sasha's warming embrace relieves me, and I let her hold me against her chest, basking in the moment. "Oh, I was so worried!" She cries, setting a kiss down on my forehead. "Fuck, I missed you!"
Her dark hair is in a bit of a different style than what I remember. Her face looks older, she's grown up, and her voice is a little more mature.
Connie is here too, a worried expression on his face. He looks the same, but he's taller now. "We'll get you to safety, don't worry! We've got you!"
I turn my head to look at the ongoing fight between the titans.
Eren is ripping Porco apart. Limb by limb. And he uses Porco's teeth to crush the crystallized form of the War Hammer Titan.
I watch in horror. And it's almost as if I can hear Porco's screams as the blood falls from the crystal and into Eren's mouth.
And then he's beating Porco's head into the ground. Bashing it repeatedly. Until Porco is limp.
And I realize he's going to eat Porco as well.
"No..." I look down from the roof, resisting the urge to jump off. "Why is Eren..."
A hand is on my shoulder, keeping me in place. "Let me go, I gotta help him!"
Eren opens his mouth to devour Porco, just as a light appears behind Eren.
It's Reiner.