Kennedy
That day, the smile on my face stretched further than ever before. I was at my happiest as I watched her dance into the hall alongside her bridesmaids. Her traditional attire, accompanied with the loveliest make-up on made her the prettiest. It wasn’t just her beauty that made me feel like the proudest man on earth, it was everything about her. The fact that this smart and intelligent woman was going to be my wife contributed to my pride. I love Adesuwa. I’ve always loved her since the first day we said hello to each other.
Our traditional wedding was beautiful. Friends and family from both sides were present, basking in their own attires. Asoebi of various. Instead of a DJ, a live band was present. The hall was decorated in pastel colours.
I shifted my eyes to Adesuwa who knelt beside me in front of our parents. It was a moment but it felt longer than that when her eyes met mine and her smile widened on her face. It truly felt genuine and even her eyes gave away her love for me. The feeling of it was magnificent.
Now, I look at her sitting on the sofa right in front of me. The smile I craved for was nowhere to be seen. She barely steadied her gaze with mine, almost as if she didn’t want to look at me. Every second that I lowered my eyes from her, my heart felt hurt. Perhaps, I should be gratefully that in the end, I got her to sit in front me. Ever since she left Adedayo behind and came home, neither her mother nor I was able to get her mingle and sit with us. Every day for the past one week, I came by in query of her and her mother made attempts to get her out of the room but she never budged.
To be honest, I didn’t want to rush her. It was clear that everything was a lot for her to take in. Would I love to see her look at me in the same way as she once did? Yes, very much but I’d patiently waited in the past and nothing was going to change that now. Our greatest hurdle was her memories. The lack of her initial memories caused our rift. It had to be fixed.
I sat up and steadied my gaze on her. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” Her reply was low and unsatisfactory for me.
For a while, I stared at her, wondering how to make her comfortable. To me, she was no stranger but to her, I was definitely a stranger. “I understand you’re going through a lot but time… time will heal everything and it would seem like that part of your life never happened.”
She raised her head and fixated her gaze on me. “I don’t want to forget… again.”
Even though it seemed like she was referring to her amnesia, I knew she meant him, Adedayo and, it bothered me. I wished she would fight to keep the memories of me instead of his. But it was taken away from her without her asking and now, I’m not sure who or what to be upset with. Again, I reminded myself to be patient.
“I don’t want that either. Can I… let me ask. Do you have even a faint memory of me? Anything?”
She shook her head.
“And your mother?” Again, she shook her head. For a moment, the air around us felt sullen.
Like a fool, I forced a simple smile. “Don’t worry, we’re going to make sure it comes back.” I stood up from my seat and hastily took a seat on the empty space beside her. Maybe it was a reflex on her part but she’d slightly shifted right away and I felt hurt that she’d done that.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me.” I told her and she wouldn’t meet my eyes. “You’re my wife and I would never hurt you.” This time, her eyes met mine. I searched and was yet to find her love for me. It felt rather strange. Her feelings for me had nothing to do with her memories. They shouldn’t have disappeared completely. Even if her memories conflicted her, her heart should’ve been able to assure her that she was safe with me. Did Adedayo completely take over her heart? I refused to believe that our love was so trivial that another usurped the space in a sparse of weeks.
Both I and Mrs. Irabor watched Adesuwa climb up the staircase heading back to her room. “So, how did she respond?” She was quick to ask and our gaze was back on each other.
“It’s hard for her. She doesn’t remember how happy she used to be in our company. She…” I sighed. “She looks at me in a different way.”
Mrs. Irabor’s gaze softened or rather, held pity and sorry. “Don’t be disheartened my son, we serve a living God and I’m sure he’s going to make your wife better again. Then, you two will officially be married and this will all seem like a painful memory from the past.”
I smiled at her. “You’re right and I wish that too. I’ll take her to the best doctor even if it overseas. I’m sure after treatment, those memories will return. In the meantime, I would love to spend time with her sometimes, take her placed that meant something to us. It might jog her memories.”
She placed her arm on my shoulder and smiled satisfactorily. “Yes, that’s a good idea. You’re also welcomed to have dinner sometimes with us. Your constant company will make you seem less and less of a stranger to her.”
I nodded and look at my wristwatch. It was getting late. I’d come here straight from work. In the end, I stood on my feet. “I should get going.” She stood up too.
“Yes, it’s best. Please, great your parents on my behalf and tell them how sorry I am that it’s unfortunate the way the events had played out.”
Her words were kind and I nodded to them. On my way out, I looked one last time at the staircase leading upstairs and was reminded of Adesuwa. In the past, she would walk me to my car and sometimes, we would share a simple kiss. She would wave goodbye until I drove out of the compound. I missed that. I missed her.
That night, again, I turned on my bed and stared into the darkness. Sleep eluded me. It has been this way since she first went missing and now, something else kept me up. A part of me recognised the feeling of fear but the other part refused to acknowledge it. Rather, I wanted to believe this was just another stepping stone to attesting to our great love. I’ve dreamt of holding her in my arms for so long and just loving her. The possibility that it might never come true was unacceptable for me. Mentally, I noted to myself to try harder to keep her safe and with me.
The tides racked in strong breeze that slapped my face and prevented me from leaving my eyes open the normal way. Yet, my face held a smile especially when I looked to the side and Adesuwa stood beside me. Thankfully, I was able to convince her to go out with me.
“Do you know where we are?”
“A beach.”
Though her answer wasn’t what I wanted to hear, still, I was glad she replied.
“I mean… does it seem to you like you’ve been here in the past?”
She shook her head. “No.”
I felt disappointed and stared out to the sea. “We used to walk barefoot on the sand whenever we visited here. We spoke, laughed and was happy together. Many times, we held hands and… one day, I proposed to you and you said yes.” When I looked at her again, this time, her eyes were on him. It felt like for the first time in a long time, she really saw me and it made me happy.
“I’m sorry.” She said before momentarily looking away.
“Sorry?”
“I… At first, I felt upset and sadness especially after leaving Dayo. I didn’t realise or took notice that you might be suffering as well.”
A light sigh left my lips, almost as if something heavy was lifted off my chest. No matter how little, she was seeing me. “Please tell me, what do you feel right now when you look at me? I want to know.”
She was hesitant and I could not tell if it was because she didn’t know the answer or because she didn’t know how to say it to me.
“I don’t think you’re a bad person. I…” I watched her draw in a deep breath. “Right now, I don’t feel the same way you feel about me.”
The feeling I felt was close to that of being stabbed in the heart. Though I looked away from her, I struggled between keeping a straight face and smiling. “It’s fine. You lost your memories along with the special ones we shared that helped to form our bond… we just have to get them back and I’m sure your feelings will return.”
There was silence between us and it lasted a bit more than it should’ve until she broke it.
“What if… what if they never return?”
A strange chuckle left my lips as I looked at her at intervals. The fear I felt every night on my bed tried creeping back in and I fought to keep it at bay. “They will. They will definitely return. I’ll take you to the best doctors. We’ll be fine.” Though I said those words to her, it did little to comfort me. My state of mind was a little in disarray. Truly, I didn’t want to think of the aftermath of what might be to come. I love her too much to easily accept letting her go.
“How was it, Adesuwa? Did you have fun?” Mrs. Irabor asked while he had dinner together at their home later that evening. She had personally prepared yam porridge and fish. The meal was delicious but because of my thoughts, it was hard to truly relinquish it.
Adesuwa simply nodded and smiled briefly. Her food barely entered her mouth.
“What is it? Don’t you like the food?” Mrs. Irabor asked before I could ask her myself.
She shook her head. “I’m fine. It’s just… it’s hard for me not to wonder or worry if Dayo has eaten.”
In that moment, my entire existence went cold. I know he exists in her heart but it only made me feel terrible whenever she mentioned him especially in such a caring manner.
“Adesuwa, I’m sure that young man will manage the same way he has always done before you entered his life. If it would make you feel better, we can send him some money.”
“No, don’t do that.” She was quick to restrain her mother.
“Then, that’s the end of that chapter. Kenny is your husband. He loves you very much. Please, try and see it so that we can all move on.”
The room was silent and a heavy energy hung in the air.
“I know that I shouldn’t say this but it’s the truth. I love Dayo and I don’t want to move on from him. More than anything, I wish I could go back to him. I’m sorry, Kennedy.” She pushed her chair back, was on her feet and hurried away back up the stairs.
Kennedy.
In my mind, I repeated the exact way she called my name. She used to call me Kenny so lovingly. I always loved hearing her pronounce my name.
That night in my room, seated on the floor beside my bed, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing out as much as it needed to. I love Dayo. Her words were once again fresh in my memory and it hurt ever so deeply. The only way I was able to console myself was by telling myself that it wasn’t over. Miracles do happen and when she remembers everything, she won’t use the same words.
“I’m sorry.” Adesuwa apologised while we took a stroll down the estate. We’d been walking in silent for some time. It was the first time we were together since that dinner.
“I’m sorry for being inconsiderate.”
“Don’t apologise.”
“No, I should because… I feel a certain way and even though you wish for me not to, I can’t help but wish the opposite. It’s hurting you and there’s nothing that will make it better.”
I stopped walking and stared at her. She’d already taken a few steps ahead and had to come back when she realised, I’d stopped walking. A smile appeared on my face and I couldn’t help it.
“You care… for now, that’s enough for me.”
I watched her draw in a deep breath just while she lowered her eyes from mine for a moment.
“I’ve found a good doctor, a good hospital, one that would specially look into your case. But, it’s in the States. Will you come with me?”
Her silence made me anxious. This was important to me. I hoped more than anything that she would give me the chance to put in my best.
“Yes. When are we leaving?”
Her reply brought an even broader smile to my face and I felt like leaping for joy. This step meant everything to me.
In the States, I accompanied her to her appointments. Several tests were performed and through it, I had to be optimistic but after the doctor said he couldn’t find any particular medical reason why her memories weren’t returning, it broke me. I didn’t want to dwell on it so we advanced to another hospital. Be it therapy or whatever, I got her in and even with medications, there was hardly a difference.
The only good was her ability to finally be at ease around me. We spent time together, she finally laughed and it made me feel good. But there were times I saw her lost in thoughts. It bothered me that she might’ve been thinking of Adedayo. So, I concluded, we were going to take our time with her recovery. I was going to fly back and forthe from Nigeria and spend this time getting her to fall in love with me and I with her all over again.
Months went by and we became closer than when she first returned home. Adesuwa smiled more and for the first time, I truly believed the woman I knew was back. The treatments did nothing to bring her memories back so in the end, we flew back to Nigeria.
“Oh, it’s so good to have you back home.” Her mum hugged her once again even though it was already two days since we returned. After work, I decided to come by her house because I was missing her.
Adesuwa smiled and held her mother as well. It gave me great joy to see them almost similar to the same way they used to be. “I missed you so much my darling daughter.”
“I missed you too.”
“Don’t mind them. If they couldn’t treat you, I have a living God, he’ll make you better soon enough. Meanwhile, we will create new and even better memories together.” Mrs. Irabor pointed out and we laughed, nodded and smiled together.
“So, Kenny, when is the white wedding? Have you two decided on a date?”
Her question had taken me by surprise but it didn’t wipe off my smile as it just did with Adesuwa. Because hers was gone, I didn’t realise when mine disappeared. It worried me that the talk of our marriage still didn’t sit well with her.
“Um, we haven’t talked about that?” I had to reply. A frows laid on her face as she looked from me to her daughter and back to me.
“Why? I don’t see why it should be delayed any further. I mean, had it not been for the accident and that man hiding her away, you two would’ve had the ceremony a long time ago.”
My lips parted for words to come through but Adesuwa spoke first.
“Mum, he didn’t hide me away. He saved and protected me.” She defended him without looking directly at either of us.
“Okay, I said it wrong. It’s in the past and we have to leave it there.”
“We… we are not yet sure if this is the right time to have the wedding.” I was quick to intervene so it doesn’t escalate any further.
Mrs. Irabor heaved a loud sigh and stared at me. I could see that her eyes held questions but I pleaded to her with my gaze not to push the topic any further. I was ready to wait as long as I could for her.
It was lunch period at the company when I was told Adesuwa was here to see me. I felt overwhelmed with joy and immediately went to meet her. Together we went out for lunch. It reminded me of the past, when she was herself.
“It felt nice to see you come by the office and ask me out to lunch.” I started and she smiled before nodding. I noticed she wasn’t eating as heartily as I was. The expression on her face turned sour almost often, like someone who was heavy with bad news. A part of me felt worried.
“Kenny, I… I came because I needed to speak with you.”
Our eyes met, she held her gaze to mine and I saw sadness, pity and apology in them. Something in me knew right away what she was about to do.
“Truly, I appreciate how patient and caring you’ve been towards him these past few months. But, I…”
“Stop.” I reached out to her hand on the table. “Please, don’t do this. I’m not impatient to marry you. I can wait as long as you want, until you feel safe and sure.”
In silence, I watched her calmly take in a deep breath.
“When I left Dayo, we agreed that if I spent some time with you or remembered anything from my past and end up still feeling the same way I feel about him, I was going to return to him and he would accept me with open arms.”
I could feel my heart breaking slowly from inside. She held my hands in hers.
“Kenny, you’re a good man and any woman would be lucky to have you. Unfortunately… that woman is not me.”
I couldn’t hold it back anymore and let the tears flow. “Please, don’t leave me. I love you very much.”
“I’m sorry and I don’t wish to lead you on anymore. Someday, I hope you’ll forgive me.”
She let go of my hands but I struggled to release her. In the end, she got up on her feet and I couldn’t watch while she walked away. I felt shattered to pieces and wondered how I was ever going to pick myself up again.
Why did fate play such a cruel joke on me? We were so happy and in love. We were going to be husband and wife legally and in front of God. But in the end, she was destined for another man. It hurt deeply to even think of a future that she won’t ever be in. Why? Why wasn’t I deserving of her? Why him and not me?
Maybe, someday, I might look back on this memory and not feel terrible or maybe, I might never move on.
Hey guys, some have asked for a sort of bonus chapter since i finished the story. This is it. Thank you for reading this chapter. Please don't forget to vote, like or even comment.