Aisha's P.O.V.
2012
I wake up in bed next to Marshall. My husband. The same way I have been waking up right next to him for the past few weeks.
I still can't believe this, the whole thing still feeling so surreal to me, the fact that I have a husband and daughter I have forgotten completely about.
Also, Marshall has two daughters, Hailie and Alaina, both of them teenagers, from his ex-wife named Kim. Kim doesn't like me at all, apparently. I guess I can't blame her for that, Marshall and mine past seems very complicated. I'm pretty sure that back when we had first met, he was still married to her, but somehow I wasn't aware of that at the time?
I don't know, I'm still not exactly clear on everything, so many things in my memory still so fuzzy when it comes to him.
Except for one thing.
Two things, actually.
I know without a doubt that Marshall loves me. It's installed in me almost instictually at this point, this knowledge.
And I know that I love him also. Which is so strange. I can't even remember him fully and certain things I see him say or do shock me, but like... the feeling never went away, I guess.
My daddy has been trying to contact me ever since I had left his place to be with Marshall again, but I have been ignoring him. There are certain things I have started remembering about HIM now too, and I am not impressed with him at all.
"You okay, baby?" Marshall asks me sleepily, wrapping his arm around me, his eyes fluttering open.
He looks so cute waking up...
"I'm fine, boy," I say snuggling up to him.
He kisses me softly on the top of my head, then on my lips.
"Imma go take a shower, aight?" He then says casually, getting out of bed and making me feel so cold and starved without his touch.
"Okay," I shrug, pulling the covers over my head.
There's this one thing that's been bothering me ever since I came back to him.
It's like... he never wants to have sex with me anymore. He keeps telling me how he doesn't want to take advantage of me or whatever, and that's really noble of him and all, but like... I don't know, I just find it odd, just because of certain memories I have of him and I, some of it making me straight up blush whenever I so much as think about it. Marshall doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would hold off on a good time, unless he's... Unless he's not attracted to me anymore or something.
Like, I know without a doubt that he loves me, or maybe rather... he has love for me at this point, just because of everything we've had been together before. But maybe other than that, maybe his feelings towards me have changed, just because I've changed? Losing one's memory after all, it's almost like losing one's personality or something, maybe, I'm no longer the girl that he fell in love with, so he doesn't feel the same way anymore?
The thought alone really terrifies me.
"Aight, so imma head to the studio for a lil bit. You'll be aight here, baby girl?" Marshall asks me, emerging from the shower fully dressed in a black t-shirt and a pair of black jeans with white sneakers on his feet. His sobriety necklace dangling from his neck.
"Sure, boy. I'm not a child, you know. You don't have to dote on me," I pout, watching him kind of smirk as he walks up to me and sits at the edge of the bed.
"I kind of want to though," he replies, grabbing my chin. He kisses my lips softly, but for me, it's more than enough to overreact. I grab at the back of his head just as he's beginning to pull away and kiss him more intensely.
And it's so weird, I can practically FEEL the internal battle that's going on in his head for whatever reason.
He kisses me back eventually, cupping my face in his large palms, climbing back in bed with me and getting in between my already parted legs. His arm goes around my waist and he pulls me closer into his body..
Only to abruptly stop as soon as things start to really get heated.
"Yo, I uh... I better get going. I ain't tryna be late, cause Dre would murder my ass, you know what I'm saying?" Marshall says, pulling away from me.
"Um... okay," I whisper, feeling the sting of rejection, once again.
I don't understand this, I really don't...
"I uh... love you, aight?" Marshall says sheepishly, backing away from him.
"I love you too," I reply, looking into his eyes as he frowns.
"Ya don't have to say it back, yo," he says kind of harshly. "I know you don't remember..."
"I remember enough, Marshall!!" I reply back with a slight attitude. I'm honestly starting to get so tired of him holding against me just how much I've forgotten due to whatever the hell it was that's happened to me!!
........
Hours later, and I am bored as hell being left all alone at the house.
Hailie and Alaina, Marshall's teenage daughters, they are both currently staying with their mother, Kim, who apparently didn't feel comfortable for them to be around me while I'm like this, all confused and all, and Sienna, mine and Marshall's daughter, is at school.
So, it's just me, and I'm kind of bored.
As I recall now, I used to sing as well. Even act in movies sometimes, I think. Wonder what's happened to that?
I wander around Marshall's (well, Marshall and mine apparently) house and look at all of the pictures on the walls. Some of him and his daughters, some of him and me, our wedding photos, we looked so happy, and I honestly can't believe I forgot most of it. Like, I can't even remember our actual wedding? As much as I try to?
I do remember Sienna being born though. Marshall was in the delivery room with me. Like, right inside the delivery room. He was told he couldn't be in there, I recall, but he has said to the doctors that he would beat the shit out of any person that would try and keep him out. Dang. Always so violent...
My daddy told me that too, didn't he? That Eminem is a violent man.
I don't think he was ever violent with me, though. Didn't I like... bring out this whole new side out of him?
Continuing to walk around the house, I find some family videos of Marshall, and I, and Sienna and watch them.
There's like a bunch of tapes there.
One of them is literally like... Okay, this isn't a family video at all, actually, kids should never watch this... Did Marshall and I seriously do this?!
I blush and put the tape away. I think I've had enough, more than enough actually.
I then find some CDs also.
What appears to be my debut album.
Marshall's The Slim Shady LP
I don't think we've met yet one that was released. I think I had first met him when he was recording this?
With his crazy behind...
I take the CD and put it inside of a small stereo to listen to it, and yep... Marshall IS crazy. This boy is nuts as hell but somehow I fell in love with him. Deeply. And we are married now. Life is stranger than fiction.
.......
By the time Marshall makes it back home from the studio, I'm doing my best to fix him and Sienna something in the kitchen, but apparently, I'm not very good at cooking. I guess I forgot that part too.
"Fuck you doing, girl?" Marshall asks me incredulously, walking in.
"Well, I was just..." I start saying sheepishly.
"Yoooooo, step the fuck away from the stove, Aisha," he chuckles, causing me to roll my eyes. "Fuck is wrong with you," he laughs. "You can't cook, baby."
I don't know why his words upset me so much, but they do. So I'm quick to walk away from him.
"Yo, Aisha!!" Marshall follows me inside of the bedroom. "For real yo, I ain't mean to upset you or hurt ya lil feelings or whatever, but you for real can't cook, baby. You never could."
"I guess," I shrug, starring daggers at him. Which seems to amuse him.
"Aww, baby girl," he smirks, walking up to me.
"Fuck you, Marshall!!" I exclaim, causing his eyebrows to raise all the way to his hairline.
"Fuck you just say to me, yo?"
"I said, fuck you. You don't have to be so condescending towards me just because I've lost my memory. I..." I start to go on a whole rant, while he's just staring me down, biting his lower lip. Causing me to not be able to take my eyes off of him, why does he do that?!
"Are you done?" He then asks me.
And I get dazed for a few seconds.
Just because of how he's staring at me.
For a second or two, I get a flashback of that day we've first met.
I think I was yelling at him back then too.
After storming insode his hotel room because I was so upset with him I've something.
And he was standing and looking at me all smug and infuriating like back then, just like he is doing now!
"Nope, not done by a long shot!!" I huff.
Marshall chuckles.
"You still like to act up, I see," he smirks. "Aight, I could fix it for ya. Let me ask you something? You remember that you are still ticklish as fuck?"
"What?" I let out. "No, I'm not..."
As a response, and without any warning, Marshall then grabs me and begins to tickle me mercilessly. I shriek and break away from him, attempting to run away from him. But he chases me and easily catches me.
"Marshall, stop. Like seriously, STOP!!" I manage to turn towards him during our struggle.
I look up at him and into his eyes.
And then next thing I know, we are kissing.
Like a sort of, right in the moment, passionate kiss.
Right until, as usual, Marshall pulls away.
"Yo, let me go check on that mess you've made in the kitchen, Aisha," he says, without looking at me.
He starts to walk away from me, and I feel like I have suddenly have enough at this point.
"Marshall!!" I exclaim.
He turns back to face me.
"Yeah?"
"Am I... really THIS different now from how I used to be?" I ask him frankly and he frowns.
"Fuck you mean by that, baby?"
"What I mean is, did I really change THAT much since losing my memory that you are no longer attracted to me?"
"W...what?!" He frowns again, walking back over towards me. He stops directly in front of me, eyeing me harshly, without so much as blinking, and I swallow hard.
"I mean, something is obviously wrong," I shrug. "You keep telling me that you want to be respectful. But from what I remember of you, Marshall? You are NOT exactly a respectful man. Not that I hold it against you. There's a certain charm to just how reckless you are. But like... for you to NOT want anything with me in THAT way, for weeks, WEEKS, since I've been back here with you, and you don't want to so much as touch me? What's wrong with me, Marshall? What's so fucking wrong with me that you don't want me?!"
Okay, so maybe this came out a whole lot more desperate than I had originally wanted it to sound, but what's done is already done, I guess...
Marshall frowns again, regarding me.
Then his whole face twists in both anger and confusion.
"This what you think, yo?!" He asks me harshly. "That I don't want you?!"
"What else am I supposed to think?" I fire back at him. "I mean, I don't know... I guess, me not being exactly the person I was back when we've first met or whatever, must've made you change your mind about me or something, and..."
I don't even get a chance to finish what I was saying, before his lips are on mine, shutting me up instantly. His hands cup my face, thumbs running across my skin, as he continues to kiss me so passionately I don't have any doubts anymore that he DOES want me, but then why he...
"You think this shit is easy on me?" Marshall asks me angrily against my lips. "You," he pushes me against the nearest wall, arms snaking down my waist and wrapping around it, "Sleep in bed next to me, every goddamn night, wearing nothing but one of my t-shirts, ya think I don't wanna hit that, badly?! I wanna hit it like a motherfucker, tear your whole shit up," he says through gritted teeth, kissing down my neck.
I blush uncontrollably at his choice of words, just as my heart pounds loudly in my chest and I feel another pulse right in between my legs.
"Then, why won't you?" I whimper, almost breathless like, and that's when he stops once again.
"Cause I just can't," Marshall states angrily. Slamming his palms against the wall on either side of me. "Not after what's happened before!" His voice is full of pain now, and I frown in confusion. "Aisha, you don't remember that shit, but what's happened to you, it's literally all cause of me. It's my motherfucking fault! And I just... Fuck man!! I can't touch you, knowing that you'd probably fucking hate me once you remember..."
His words make my head spin.
I just don't understand...
I try so hard to remember then, but I just can't!! It refuses to come to me...
For whatever reason, my mind is blocking it.
But I do recall my daddy saying something to me among those lines though. That Marshall had somehow... allowed whatever happened to me happen to me, but like...
I refuse to believe that, because Marshall would never hurt me...