TW: slight manipulation, fear of abandonment
CW: anal, edging
Cass was emotionally resilient. She kept her calm and never lashed out at a sub. Not unintentionally, anyway.
It was her responsibility to know what her subs needed and how they needed it. She knew when to give and when to take because she took the time to understand the reasons behind their needs and behavior.
A needy sub wasn't needy for fun, they required reassurance to feel safe. They required care, and providing that care was a Domme's job, be it quality time, acts of service, or anything else.
Sexual relationships in the kink space built bonds that run deep. Not only did they require endless amounts of trust and vulnerability, but they by definition got to a point where both parties relied on each other.
Because while in the average relationship, the goal usually was to be with someone because you want to, not because you need to, with kink, the need came with the territory.
Kinks are and have always been coping mechanisms a person's brain develops to cope with trauma. Cass knew that painfully well, having lost interest in about half the things that used to turn her on in college.
Therapy was a thief of kinks, and the win was bitter-sweet every time.
She'd spent enough time researching domination to know that she wasn't doing a bad job.
Being told no was good for Ent. Not being allowed what he wanted was good for him.
For some reason, he clung to that illusion of control a lot. Realistically, both of them knew that begging for what he wanted didn't mean he'd get it. Or at least Cass hoped he knew.
But, be it consciously or subconsciously, he never fully let go.
She'd gotten him close to complete submission before but the only time he lost himself to subspace was when she forced him. When she'd abused his body so much that his mind didn't have the energy to hold the reins anymore.
It wasn't the type of submitting she was used to. Her previous subs would give anything to obey her blindly. But with Ent, it wasn't psychological or emotional, it was purely physical.
And as much as she wanted to take it as a challenge – to tame him, to train him the way she wanted him, it mostly concerned her.
What if he didn't see their dynamic the same way? What if he didn't want to let go the way she wanted him to?
Then that would mean their arrangement wasn't working for him.
It was a painful realization to come to, as she already knew their time wasn't unlimited. But possibly cutting it even shorter stung deeply.
***
Not even 24 hours had passed since she abruptly hung up on him when he texted to apologize, catching her off-guard during a business lunch with a random Customer Success Manager at Rapido.
From Ent: Hey, I'm sorry I called you a bad domme yesterday. I didn't mean it.
The guy kept talking her ear off about some customers that were already asking about the app she was managing the development of. Cass was too distracted by the message to follow his train of thought.
To Ent: Are you saying that because you mean it or because you think it's what I want to hear?
She got a response back almost immediately.
From Ent: Both.
Honestly is a good thing, at least. And self-awareness, too.
From Ent: You're good for me, I can feel it. And you treat me better than I've been treated by many. I feel better in this arrangement than outside of it. So I am apologizing because I know you want to hear it, but that doesn't mean I don't mean it.
To Ent: I'm glad you realize that. I'm in a meeting right now but I can call you later tonight.
From Ent: Yes, I'd like that.
To Ent: How are you feeling?
From Ent: Horny? I don't know.
She almost let a chuckle slip at that. Of course, he was.
To Ent: It's only been 4 days.
From Ent: It feels like 40.
Push him a little bit, why not?!
To Ent: Maybe we should do No Nut November this year.
From Ent: Please, no.
To Ent: Too bad it's not up to you.
His next reply got typed out and deleted a couple of times, taking almost 5 minutes to finally be delivered.
From Ent: Are you doing this because I haven't used my safeword yet?
What?
To Ent: Would you use it?
From Ent: 30 days of denial? I probably would. I've never done more than 5.
Oh.
To Ent: So this is pushing it for you?
From Ent: I'm okay so far.
To Ent: Good. I'll call you around 8 PM Portuguese time. Be at my place. Use your phone to check in, I've set it up to control the elevator and unlock my front door.
From Ent: Okay.
After the lunch meeting, Cass had to do some remote work with the team back in Germany, relay the information, update the backlog of tasks and the sprint the developers were currently in, and then also explain why the fuck she changed it halfway through because they always hated when she did.
And of course, she avoided doing it whenever possible but she knew what tasks were in it, planned to be completed this week, and those were not the top priority anymore, considering they had to get the product done as fast as possible.
Some aspects of the project had to be compromised at this point.
8 PM finally came around and Cass was excited. Now she had an excuse to try and break him, see how long it truly takes him to shatter. Considering he probably felt like he had to prove himself, it was gonna be a long and fun night.
And he should be thankful she couldn't be with him in person.
The call rang twice before Ent picked up.
"Hey," he sounded breathless. "Sorry, my phone was over in the kitchen."
He was currently walking between the kitchen and the living room area, the ceiling switching from stark white to grey above him in the video feed.
"Okay," she answered simply. It wasn't a problem at all, he picked up less than 3 seconds after she dialed his number and hadn't even expected an apology at all, but why not rile him up? It kind of sounded like she didn't accept his apology.
"So, um," he broke the silence first. "How's Portugal?"
"Hot, excruciatingly hot. It feels like my bones are melting half the time."
"Oh, I'm sorry," he pouted. He'd never been very empathic to her feelings before, which was kind of funny now. He didn't know where they stood. "That sounds awful."
"Yeah, it is," the corners of Cass' lips turned up. "How about you make me feel better now?"
"Of course, just tell me how." Enthusiasm was laced around each word coming out of his mouth.
"Well, for starters..." She paused for dramatic effect. "How about you navigate yourself toward my bedroom and take your clothes off."
"Yes, my Queen."
He got up from the couch he had just sat on and walked over, almost jogging. His eagerness to please her was always such a huge turn-on, but now the arousal felt heightened, the anticipation of punishing him thumping in her veins.
She could easily scold him to hurry up, but knowing how much she was gonna tease him in the next few hours, he would be worse off than her by the end of the call.
He placed his phone aimed at the ceiling while he rustled off-camera, probably undressing.
"Set me against the headboard and kneel on the bed when you're done," she commanded, the impatience vaguely evident in the tone.
"Do you want me fully naked?" He asked quietly from the side.
"As the day you were born."
He got in position, sitting back on his ankles and looking straight into the camera. His mouth opened, as if ready to say something, but he decided against it. She took her time noting the details of how he looked on the screen in front of her.
"Hm, I keep forgetting how good you look on your knees," Cass hummed. "Like you were made for it."
"I probably was," he chuckled.
He was truly built like a sin that dripped arousal, especially with the ceiling light behind him illuminating his silhouette just like it did last time.
"What do you think it gonna happen tonight, Toy?" she asked in a low tone.
"You're gonna punish me for being an idiot," he answered without missing a beat.
"Hm, I'm gonna punish you for acting like an idiot," Cass corrected. "How do you think I'm gonna punish you?"
"I–," he stuttered, then lowered his voice and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "I don't wanna risk giving you ideas that are worse than what you have in mind."
Cute.
"I'm gonna choose to ignore the fact that you just doubted my abilities," her tone was stern. "You think I can't break your spirit? Torture you until you beg me to give you what you think is the worst-case scenario instead?"
"No, of co–," he started.
"What might that be?" She interrupted him. "What do you think is the worst case?"
He thought for a second.
"I'm so–,"
"I don't care for your apologies. Answer the question. What's the punishment you're so scared of?"
He spoke so low that a fly's wings flapping in the air would be louder. "That you're gonna keep me like this all night and not even let me touch myself."
Cass almost choked on the laugh that tumbled out of her mouth.
"I could keep you on your knees not touching yourself for a week and it wouldn't be nearly as bad as what I have planned."
He swallowed thickly again.
"Go ahead, touch yourself for me."
Ent's hand reluctantly wrapped around his shaft and he looked to the screen for approval before he began stroking himself from base to tip.
His lips parted open and he exhaled a relieved breath as he continued. His dick was hard and proud in less than a minute.
"Slow down."
He obeyed before he spoke. "Are you doing the same thing as last time?"
"Yes," Cass hummed. "I wanna see if you've learned your lesson yet."
A soft groan came through the speakers of the laptop on the table in front of her.
"I have, I promise."
His hand continued stroking up and down, his fingers rubbing the frenulum under his cockhead with every stroke. He usually preferred not wrapping his hand tightly around his dick when he touched himself.
"I doubt that's true," she said after a few seconds. "Let's see how long it takes you to snap again."
"I won't snap," he scoffed, as if offended.
And it proved to be true.
Cass kept him barely touching himself for well over an hour as he whined, begged, and moaned. He had a tight leash around his frustration, forcibly stopping his hips from thrusting into his hand involuntarily and sitting back down on his ankles every time he found himself standing on his knees.
While his mind still seemed to obey him, his body obeyed Cass.
"Please, my Queen," he almost sobbed as the plea stuttered out of his mouth.
The great thing about the situation they found themselves in was that it had put Ent very deep in subspace. He wasn't in that suggestible state he'd gotten to before, but in a sort of whiny one where he followed every single word Cass uttered.
"Oh God, please..."
She watched him get tortured by his own hand some more, a string of precum dripping from his slit and connecting with the bedding below.
"You really won't snap, huh?" she teased.
"No," he moaned loudly, stilling his hips once again and dragging his loose grip up and down his cock.
"Okay then, stop touching yourself."
He let go of himself immediately, his arm hovering in the air as he tried to figure out what to do with it.
"W- Why? I thought this is what you wanted." His voice was hoarse from all the moaning.
"It is," she smiled. "Walk over to the dresser behind you and pick yourself a vibrating butt plug and some lube."
"Oh, thank you," he groaned.
You don't even know the half of it, baby.
"Turn around," she instructed when he kneeled in the same position as before. He obeyed. "Put some lube on the tip and rim yourself with it."
He got on his elbows, giving her the perfect view, and followed her instructions as she made him tease his hole with the vibrator, then as she told him to turn it on and continue.
"Please, let me put it inside," he whined after 5, maybe 10, minutes. Cass wasn't counting. She was just enjoying the live porn tailor-made just for her. "I need to feel it so bad, please. Even just for a second, I need it."
"Go ahead, put it in." He moaned out in a mix of disbelief and gratitude. Slowly teasing it in and back out again and again, he inserted the plug all the way in and rested the rubber base between his asscheeks. "Okay, turn around to face me again. It came with a remote, right?"
"Yes-s," he hissed as he got up to his knees again and sat back, turning to face the phone. The toy was most definitely touching his prostate now, the pleasure button making him leak so much more than before.
"Turn it to its highest setting," she commanded, making his eyes go wide as he looked at her reluctantly but did as he was told. A loud groan came out as he neared the last settings. "Now jerk off for me."
"Still slow?"
"However you want," she shocked him by saying before she continued. "You can't come."
He stroked himself quite a bit faster and more firmly than before, which got him to the edge very quickly. His hand let go of his dick and hovered in the air as he looked up at the ceiling.
"Good," Cass praised. "Turn the vibration one step down and go again."
Still obeying, he did so, over and over again, getting to the edge faster each time, his dick bobbing in the air after each edge.
"God," he moaned, "there were ten settings, do you want me to do this ten times?"
He sounded so desperate that it made Cass want to touch herself, too.
"Or 20, or 30..." she shrugged. "Until I'm satisfied."
"What does that mean?" he cried out, full-on sobbing as he let go of himself and turned the vibration down again. "What do you want from me?"
Ent just gave her the best opportunity to turn him on even more. Dirty talk was her specialty and it got him so hot and bothered every time. Good.
"I want you too desperate to think about anything other than your dick," she explained in a thick, low voice. "I want you to walk into your office tomorrow and get a boner you can't get rid of all day."
He whined, lowering the vibration again.
"That already happens," he said between harsh breaths. It'd been less than half a minute and he was letting go to lower the setting on the toy again. "Since we fucked there, I get a boner every time I walk in."
"Good, just the way it should be," she smiled. "Desperate and mine to control, even when I'm not there."
"Of course," he said as he went to lower the vibration again but it didn't change, signifying it was the end of the 10 settings, making him moan out loud. "Please, please, don't make me do it again."
She left him waiting for instructions with the toy vibrating against his prostate inside him as she tried to get the image of him sitting behind his desk with a hard dick in his pants out of her brain.
It was filthy and debased, and exactly what she wanted him to be like all the time. She wanted his submission, craved it, and she loved the fact his body gave it to her even when his mind didn't.
"Take the toy out and take it with you when you leave my apartment. The charger, too," he did as he was told while she continued spilling commands at him. "Use it and edge yourself in your office every day, once when you come in and once before you leave."
With that, pictures of him holding his leaking cock came into her inbox twice a day, each time telling her how horny and desperate he was, how pathetic he felt, and how sporting a boner while working all night made him feel like a slut...
Just as it should.
He didn't safeword out, making it to a total of almost 9 days without coming, which, however, didn't mean he didn't beg for it multiple times a day. Just like Cass wanted him.
***
Nerves flowed through Ent's veins, making his fingers jittery and his breathing shallow. Cassandra was coming back to Berlin today.
She texted him that her flight would arrive at 16 and violently refused when he asked to pick her up from the airport.
He thought he'd done what she wanted, following her instructions even when every single cell in his body was screaming at him in protest. He'd been quiet and well-behaved, giving her what she had told him so many times she wanted - his complete submission.
It'd felt weird at first, he wasn't one to obey blindly and he craved aggression and pain, he craved taming. But what he said last week felt like he'd crossed a line. Calling someone a bad Domme was usually an unforgivable offense and most had left him behind for less.
While she hadn't left, per se, she kept him at arms reach. An invisible wall was erected between them and Ent desperately wanted it gone.
As he wallowed in his misery, he put his plan into action. It wasn't just submission she wanted, it was him giving it up willingly even with the risk of being rejected, without expecting anything in return.
And even though that was a foreign concept to him, he could act the part.
Unlocking the front door to her penthouse, he walked straight into the bedroom and undressed. He'd planned to wait for her here until she arrived in about 45 minutes, but now the dresser in the corner called to him.
Looking around in all of the drawers, he took out two pairs of leather cuffs and a ballgag before he walked over to the bed, leaving his phone in the drawer he took the bondage from.
She would be angry if he bound himself in a way he couldn't undo by himself, safety and all, so he couldn't show his devotion that way. It would've been counter-productive. But he could leave any connection to the outside of this room out of reach, ultimately still leaving himself at her mercy.
He wouldn't untie himself anyway, but she didn't need to know that. How likely would it be that a fire starts in a completely isolated penthouse? Not likely at all.
After settling the gag between his teeth and fastening it behind his head, he kneeled on the bed as she told him she liked to see him. First tying his ankles together and then his wrists behind his back, he sat back and waited, facing the door.
It was probably close to 16:00 anyway, so now he just had to wait for her to claim her suitcase and get a cab over.
He replayed the last call they'd had, almost a week ago, to pass the time. As expected, the memories got him hard again. Nothing to be ashamed about, it'd be almost offensive to her if he thought about their arrangement and didn't get a boner.
Coming back to reality after a while, his jaw ached from being forced open by the gag for so long and his lower back was sore from balancing his weight upright on the soft mattress.
At least his knees didn't hurt. That's been a surprising development in this arrangement with Cassandra. They usually killed him by the end of a scene. He'd often felt inadequate because of it.
Not that he'd ever admit it to his Queen. Maybe one day she wanted to punish him by having him kneel for her without the pillows she usually insisted on. God knows he'd deserved it.
He stayed in the same position for what felt like hours, replaying different scenes they'd had together in his head.
Who knew he would be this disoriented, that his time perception would be this skewed without a clock?
In reality, he'd been dissociating, going deeper and deeper into subspace, for over 6 hours. Cass' flight had gotten delayed, and while she'd texted him to let him know, he was too out of it to hear the notification go off.
He marveled at the way his entire body ached, tensing his arms and straightening his back, letting his head fall forward between his shoulders. His dick was leaking on the bedding underneath as he remembered a specific memory of her riding him on the couch in his office.
God, I hope she does that again. Cassandra's body was one of a true Goddess, especially when it was all on display on top of him.
At this point, time felt like it wasn't going by at all, but he'd never give up, not after how long it'd felt like he'd been here. How is it possible for an hour to feel like 3?!
The front door finally clicked, unlocking, before some rustling ensued at the other end of the apartment. An exhausted sigh traveled through the air toward him and went straight to his cock, making it bob in the air. Fuck, finally.
Cassandra walked into the room and turned on the light, stopping in her tracks as she saw him. She was holding a bra in her hand but wore a sweatshirt and jeans.
A surprised gasp left her lips and she dropped everything to the floor, walking up to Ent and crouching in front of him to get in his line of sight. His neck physically wouldn't extend enough for him to look up at her.
She cupped his cheek gently and grazed his forehead with her lips, leaving a feather-light kiss.
"Did you wait since 4?" she asked quietly, already knowing the answer. Ent nodded in response, making her lift his chin to face her. She smiled at him as she said, "Oh, my good boy."
He hadn't even noticed how much work he'd missed. He usually opened the bar at 17:00 during the summer months.
A/N: As I said, men crying and begging on their knees... *Chef's kiss*