"last one done." winter holds up the shirt that had multiple rips on it, the green thread now holding the fabric together. ellie hums and goes to sit up straighter, blinking harshly to wake herself up some. winter is still checking over the shirt, making sure all tears are sewn. ellie slightly smiles at the uneven stitching and the threads that are pulled too tight. she didn't mind, only imagining how often she'd find herself staring at the stitches with a sneaky smile.
"please don't bring this shirt back for me to fix, i think the next step is throwing it away." winter jokingly scrunches her face with a small smile when she looks over to ellie, laughing at her reaction. ellie loudly gasps with a fake shocked expression on her face. "what? you think it'll make it through the next time you shred it?" winter curiously turns the front of the shirt to her to glance over it again with pursed lips. ellie leans over and snatches the shirt from winter, clicking her tongue at the other.
"shut up." ellie lightly huffs, looking down and rubbing her fingers over the green thread. "well, now it has to be invincible since you fixed it, right? you won't get good business if you say that it'll fall apart." ellie raises her eyebrows as she looks at winter with a playful annoyed look, slowly shaking her head in disappointment. "you're so bad at marketing." ellie sighs.
"you're my only client, i'm not too worried about your opinion. i told you it wouldn't come out good." winter says, looking at the shirt that ellie was holding. she felt like she could see every mistake in the sewing, making her cheeks barely tint in embarrassment. truthfully, she got lazy in some parts, not caring about the small size changes or crooked stitches. she got bored and just wanted to be done with it. until ellie was looking at it now. she felt regret, wishing she would've taken the few extra seconds to fix the mistakes instead of showing ellie the obvious home done sewing. "i don't know a lot of variants of stitching, sorry." winter trails off, giving ellie a nervous smile when she looks up. ellie scoffs at winter.
"you did better than me. it looks fine, it's not like i gave you an easy task." ellie has a slight laugh in her voice towards the end. winter shrugs, putting the needle, thread, and knife on the nightstand. ellie watches her, waiting for her to set the objects down, then nudging winter's thigh with her knee. winter looks at ellie with furrowed eyebrows. "i think this level of work will put mary out of business, actually." ellie says, spreading the shirt out over her crossed legs to see it better.
"mary?" winter questions, her head tilting as she tries to remember names she's heard from ellie before. ellie nods, not looking up from the shirt.
"yeah, mary. the seamstress, the one that takes too long. the other seamstress' don't give me discounts so i never go to them." winter shifts to sit up more, more interested in this topic than what they've talked about in the past five hours. she scratches the side of her neck, trying to think of what she wants to ask next.
"oh.. is she nice?" winter asks quietly, catching ellie's eyes when her head whips up to look at winter. she has a small, smug smile and her eyebrows are pulled together, her eyes slightly narrowed. winter felt herself blush at the look ellie gave her, quickly looking away and around the room while she waited for ellie's answer. she can hear ellie's smile in her tone, almost as if she was teasing winter.
"very." ellie nods her head, continuing to stare at winter. holding back a bigger smile when she notices winter's mouth start to crease into a frown.
"good.." winter mumbles, trying to sound less annoyed than she's starting to feel. there was a moment of quietness, winter still refused to look at ellie, already feeling how the other's smile was radiating. if it were any other time, winter knows she'd be jumping at any opportunity to see ellie's smile and the small dimple that it produces when she's smiling hard. she wasn't too sure how she felt about ellie smiling that hard with other people. it felt almost like a ball of tightly wrapped emotions was on her chest. she couldn't completely understand what she was feeling, but she knew it was negative. "why do you get a discount?" she's not entirely sure if she sounded interested still, but it was a half genuine question.
ellie pauses, it's amusing to her. the small downturn of winter's lips, her eyes focusing on the walls around them, and the faint blush on winter's ears getting darker all made ellie want to giggle. it was probably more so because it's the first time she's seen winter visibly jealous. she didn't want to tease the other too much, even though her first thought was a snarky remark, but she didn't want to make winter too annoyed at her before smoking.
"i'm not sure, do you think she has a crush on me?" ellie feigns, perking up and acting slightly excited. winter turns her head to ellie quickly, eyes round and lips in a straight line. winter tried to seem interested, but after ellie's reaction she just wanted the topic to change. she was still trying to come up with a way to divert attention when ellie chuckled at her. winter felt herself start blushing at the laughing, she felt embarrassed and confused. "i'm just fucking with you, winter!" ellie leans over and gently shoves winter's shoulder. winter furrowed her brows, following ellie's hand as she retracts it. ellie leans back, a smug smirk replacing the smile. "she's like forty five or something, and into joel. that's why i get a discount." ellie nods.
"oh.." winter gave a weak chuckle, a bit relieved but too embarrassed to feel that relief.
"you were so jealous just then." ellie chuckles, her smile and crinkled eyes making winter scowl back at her. ellie was starting to annoy her by dragging it on, her humor was definitely an acquired humor.
"was not." winter grumbles, backed with an annoyed sigh.
"was too. the frowning was cute, though." ellie crosses her arms and leans on to the wall behind her while looking into winter's glaring eyes. she scoffs at winter's expression when she doesn't respond. "are you just going to glare all night, then?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at winter. winter slowly drops the glare, pretending to be thinking, but already knowing she wouldn't be physically able to ignore ellie the whole night.
"it's sounding quite tempting." winter says, a small smiling already forming from seeing ellie smile.
"you're supposed to never give into temptations, winter." ellie lets out a tsk, disapprovingly shaking her head at winter.
"i highly doubt you never give into anything tempting." winter huffs, crossing her arms like ellie. ellie chuckles a little, unfolding her arms to pick up the shirt again. she wads it up and shoves it into her open bag sitting to the side of her. she moves the bag in her lap, hands fishing around in search.
"i never said i don't. i give into tempting things constantly, feels good so why would i not?" she chuckles again, pausing when she sees winter's unintentional smile getting slowly bigger. "just like right now i'm about to give into this tempting bag of jerky-" she holds up her left hand, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head, "- and these steak sandwiches." she holds up a brown paper bag in her right.
"since we're giving into tempting things tonight, i think i'll glare at you all night. sounds like it'd feel nice." winter says, starting to pull her eyebrows together.
"that's actually one you shouldn't give in to. i'm offering you this tempting food, so you pick this temptation instead of that lame one." ellie has a wide smile, moving the bags up and down in front of her. ellie slumps her arms down when winter stays staring at her with a judgy look, she dramatically sighs while looking at her lap. "mary would've already agreed.." ellie mumbles, looking back up to winter. she had to stifle a laugh at winter's instant widening eyes and hanging mouth, her eyes bouncing between both of ellie's.
"just give me the stupid sandwich." winter bites out, holding her hand out in a rushed motion. ellie smirked, unfolding the paper bag and handing the sandwich to winter. winter pulls some of the bread back with a concentrated face, inspecting the ingredients. when she looked at ellie she was interrupted before she could even ask her question.
"it's steak, lettuce, and cheese. pretty boring, but i didn't want to shock your stomach too much in one night. you'll probably get a bit hungry after you smoke." ellie nods. winter nods back, smelling the food before eating. ellie grins fondly at the other while unwrapping her sandwich.
-
winter held the lantern out in front of her while watching where she was walking, ellie closely behind her with a jar in her hands and a blanket from winter's living room thrown over her shoulder. once they reach the gate of the field winter whirls around to ellie, holding the lantern out to her.
"i'll make sure the horses are still up and put the chickens away. you go pick a spot, it should only take a minute." winter says, already starting to unlock the gate. ellie stays where she was standing, their eyes meeting when winter turns back after a few steps and realizes ellie isn't following. winter notices the small amount of worry in ellie's eyes and the way she barely furrows her brows, almost like she's thinking of arguing.
"it's dark." is all ellie says.
"yes, that's why you have the lantern, ellie." winter chuckles, slightly raising her eyebrows at ellie. she motions for ellie to come in, the other finally listening and closing the gate behind her. "i'll be quick, just keep the light on so i can find you after." winter nods to ellie, only getting one nod back. ellie doesn't move, though, just staring back at winter still. winter sighs, assuming that ellie wouldn't move until she leaves. winter gives ellie a small smile before turning and walking towards the barn that had one glowing light on outside of it.
ellie feels stuck, there could be someone or something waiting for winter over there. she battles herself between ignoring winter's wishes or letting winter be. she knows it's different for winter, she knows winter feels safe here. ellie is trying to trust what winter knows, it feels so wrong, though. it feels completely backwards from how she's been doing things for years, no one is supposed to be alone.
"fuck.. fuck.." ellie groans and says under her breath, turning from the barn and almost stomping away to keep herself from following winter. she feels her hand tighten around the lanterns handle, trying to keep herself focused on walking. after a minute or so she finds a nice flat place to sit, gently putting the lantern around and looking around. the barn was still in view, only a sliver of the chicken coop was still visible. the grass glows a soft green in the moonlight.
ellie lays the blanket out, placing the lantern in the middle of the blanket as she stands to watch towards the barn. she sees the barn door close fully and the inside lights dimming as the front light flicks off. now only the dark silhouette of the barn is visible. as ellie waited for winter, her anxiety kept doubling every minute. she attempted to stop imagining horrible things, deciding to lay down and look at the stars while waiting. the sky was mostly clear, a few big clouds in the distance but the moon and stars shined brightly against the harsh contrast of darkness around them.
ellie sits up when she hears faint footsteps in the grass around her, ignoring the adrenaline spike that made her heart feel like it stopped briefly. her heartbeat slows down some when she sees winter walking toward her. when winter gets closer she pulls her right hand up to wave at ellie, only seeing ellie's focused expression instead.
"what? it wasn't that long." winter chuckled, looking down at ellie as she stood beside the layed out blanket. winter's laugh and the sight of her smile made ellie relax some, warmth spreading through her chest.
"it wasn't." she replies, patting the spot on the blanket next to her. ellie moves the lantern about two feet in front of them and scoots closer to winter, leaving only a few inches between them. winter lets out a rough breath when she gets settled, looking at the sky. ellie moves the jar in front of her, opening it and putting it back down while turning to face winter.
"have you smoked cigarettes before?" ellie asks, she had already assumed not but waited for winter shake her head.
"no, my dad used to, though. he said he couldn't find anymore old cigarettes by year three." winter says, still staring at the stars. she paused, looking at ellie with curious eyes. "does it hurt?" she asks, glancing down at the jar. ellie softly laughs, leaning back on her left hand to reach into her back right pocket and pulling out a lighter.
"winter, i mean this with no judgement, but i think our pain tolerances are totally different." ellie chuckles, winter scoffs and mumbles a 'whatever'. "it definitely won't feel good your first few times if you breathe in too much. honestly, for your first time take small puffs, don't breathe in quick, ok?" ellie nods when winter does, picking up the jar again. she holds it out to winter, she held back laughter as winter leaned forward. she had furrowed eyebrows and stared at ellie as she sniffed, not getting even getting to the opening of the jar before groaning and leaning back away from ellie's hand.
winter twisted her face in disgust, covering her nose and mouth while glaring at ellie. ellie lets the giggles bubble up out of her, putting the jar down and covering her own mouth to stop the giggling.
"dude!" winter exclaims, her left palm pushing against ellie's right shoulder in frustration. "you're so annoying." she mumbles with a sigh. ellie brings the jar up to her nose with a smile, taking an obnoxiously loud sniff, and contently sighing after. winter's face scrunches up again.
"smells nice." ellie smiles at winter's pained expression, she reaches in and takes a joint out. "it'll smell even better in a second." ellie chuckles at winter's wide eyes. "i swear you won't notice it in like five minutes, but the taste isn't the best."
ellie holds the joint between her lips, quickly lighting and breathing in to get the cherry started. ellie looked up from the joint when it was lit, her eyes met winter's, who was observing how ellie was smoking. the way winter was staring made a small smirk start tugging at the corner of ellie's lips. she takes a separate breath of air and holds, she pulls it from her lips, flicking off the ash of the twisted tip. she makes sure it's burning even before holding it out to pass to winter.
winter stared at her hand, ellie just let her think about it for a moment. she turned her head from winter and blew the smoke out.
"you don't have to, no pressure at all." ellie says, leaning gently to her right to bump winter. she lingered some before leaning back. winter lifts her hand slowly, hesitating some, but taking the joint from ellie carefully.
winter paused when the joint almost touch her lips, nervously glancing over to ellie. ellie quirked an eyebrow at her when winter lifted her other hand to cover her face while a blush started creeping up her neck, slowly turning her cheeks a pink tint.
"don't look at me." winter whined, she groaned and closed her eyes at ellie's small chuckle. ellie slightly turned her body to the side.
winter took a careful and small puff, cringing when the smoke coated her mouth and tightened her throat. she wanted to laugh when she blew out the translucent smoke, the small amount was pathetic compared to how thick and opaque ellie's was. winter attempted to ignore the cough that started to scratch at the back of her throat, but gave in after a few seconds of the feeling getting more intense. ellie's head whips over to winter after hearing her coughing, it wasn't a lot of coughing but ellie felt some worry anyways.
"you okay? did you breathe in too much?" ellie's right arm lifted to gently rub winter's upper back. winter leans her left arm over to ellie, letting the other take the joint from her. she nods, looking at ellie with a small, somewhat embarrassed, smile.
"i'm good. it's just different." she said quietly, ellie nodding back to her.
"it'll get easier i promise." ellie gave her a one last rub before lowering her arm and leaning back on it, looking up at the stars while taking a hit. she held it out to winter, she took it from ellie again, leaning away from the other's line of vision to smoke. ellie laughed at she breathed out, but waited until winter cleared her lungs to talk. "i don't have a problem not looking, but i really won't make in fun of you for anything, winter."
winter met her eyes, the lanterns cool lighting making her blush seem darker than ellie knew it was. she thought it was cute either way.
"just don't stare." she scrunches her eyebrows and makes a pleading face, smiling widely when ellie playfully plucks the joint from winter's fingers while bringing her other hand up to salute to winter.
"yes, ma'am."
-
after winter took her fifth hit she started feeling fuzzy and tingly, especially in her hands. she turned down the next time ellie offered her the stick, afraid of being too overwhelmed by the new feeling in front of ellie.
"do you feel too high? we can go inside." ellie suggests. she scans winter's face, relaxing a bit when winter shook her head.
"no, just.. just want to take it slow." winter says, she shows ellie a lazy smile, hoping it convinces ellie to relax more. "i'll tell you if i need to stop." she tells ellie.
ellie hums back, taking a longer drag and laying down on the blanket. winter follows her, both now staring at the dark sky above them. winter focused on the warm tingles through her body, the fuzzy feeling being amplified with a floating feeling. she giggled at the tingles spreading up her wrist some, it felt ticklish in the most non-ticklish way, almost like she could feel tiny zaps of electricity.
winter folds her hands over her stomach with one leg crossed over the other, trying to calm every sensation she's experiencing. she started thinking about her dad. about everything really, she kept jumping from thought to thought, it felt like she was thinking of three separate things at once. then her face started to feel the tingling, starting at her lips and spreading slowly.
"do cigarettes feel different?" winter quietly asks, not thinking of how dumb that question sounded. ellie let out a small cough with a sniffle before answering.
"mhm. different drug, it doesn't last near as long, too." ellie takes another drag, taking a big breath in and holding.
"well, if it feels anything like this, i understand why dad missed smoking." winter adds, loving the way the smoke disperses into the air. it was pretty to her. winter can see ellie turn her head to her from her peripheral, waiting for all of the smoke to fade in the sky, then turning to face ellie. ellie softly smiles at the other, her eyelids a little heavy.
"you said he couldn't find some after a while, did he leave the cabin often?" she asks, hoping that her curiosity wasn't intruding too much. winter pursed her lips in thought, turning her head back to the stars.
"not after my mom died, he only went out twice after. it took the snow killing most of our crops and us almost starving for him to go out there again." winter started fiddling with her fingers, thinking about her parents brings up so much buried anxiety. "you said you came up this way for family, right? how are they doing?" winter questions, looking back over to ellie in time to see ellie's smile waver slightly.
"everyone's doing good." ellie replies looking at the clouds in the distance that seemed a bit closer now, bringing the shortening joint to her lips. her eyes went serious for a moment, eyebrows furrowing and relaxing periodically. "how old were you when your mom died?" ellie turns her head and rests the right side of her face on the blanket below.
"three, i think. i don't remember her much, honestly. i think my dad really wanted me to remember time i've spent with her, and i wish i could, but all i can remember is things he's told me about her. i was too young." she shrugs, shifting to lay on her side facing ellie. winter tucked her left arm under her head as a cushion. ellie listened intently, only looking away from winter to blow the smoke in a different direction.
ellie didn't want to seem like she was pitying winter, she wasn't, but she did have sympathy for her. it's how the world is now and no one is excused from it. ellie didn't have the same strong emotions tied to those roles like winter did, she can't understand exactly what winter's feeling. she did have the general feelings of loss there, but it wasn't personally tied to someone.
"i'm sorry. i didn't know my parents, i grew up in a fedra orphanage. i know my mom died soon after i was born, i just assume my dad is dead too. it seems like a common theme." ellie weakly chuckles, turning on her side too. she propped herself up on her right elbow, leaning her cheek on her palm. winter's eyebrow twitched together briefly.
"fedra?"
"people i was with before jackson, not important." ellie slowly waves her hand in dismissal while barely shaking her head. she slightly scrunches her nose and presses her lips together in a small smile when winter frustratingly sighs.
"are you ever going to tell me about your life before jackson?" winter gives ellie an annoyed look, lifting herself up on her elbow.
"you're interested?" ellie seems to genuinely ask, skeptical eyes staring back into winter's impatient ones. winter enthusiastically nods, raising her eyebrows as she straightens her back. ellie opens her mouth, but instead the silence continued to surround them. she closed her mouth, then furrowed her eyebrows as she looked down to the blanket below them. winter could tell it felt like too much pressure on the topic for the other, so she decided to try and ask targeted questions.
"fine, how about you tell me what family is in jackson? you didn't know your parents, and you were in an orphanage, so?.." winter tilts her head, waiting for ellie to speak. ellie took a deep breath in, eyes shooting up to winter when she spoke.
"joel's.. his brother, tommy, ended up in jackson and joel was worried about him." she nods. winter pulled a confused face, trying to remember more details of the stories ellie's told her.
"right, joel helped you get here.. you knew him in fedra, then?" winter asks, ellie only pressed her lips together in a line and shook her head to winter. "after fedra, but before jackson?"
"yes." winter just blinks back at ellie, eyebrows pulling together a few times.
"you, a fourteen year old, just followed a grown man across the country because he was worried for his brother?" ellie awkwardly stared back at winter, who was now giving her a look that showed she didn't buy it.
"..yes." ellie shrugs and raises her eyebrows. she had a small grimace on her face.
"a guy you had no previous interaction with got you to, just, follow him states away to check in on someone.. and both of them meant nothing to you before this interaction?" winter quirks an eyebrow, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. ellie paused, mouth opening and closing again.
"we.. i didn't- the-" she cut herself with a sigh, "jeez lady, are you done picking apart my brain? i'm lighting another, want some?" ellie rushes out, stumbling over a few words and sitting up now. she clears her throat while picking up the still open jar. winter could tell something was weighing on ellie, she just wasn't sure prying would be beneficial for ellie. there must be a reason she was keeping it from winter, and although it makes winter more intrigued with knowing about ellie's past, it also stirred a bit of anxiety in winter's stomach.
she's trying to trust ellie, trying to overthink herself into isolation.
"sure." winter mumbles, also sitting up now. both sit crisscross now, tilted toward each other. now that winter was sitting up there was a brief spinning feeling, her head feeling light.
ellie had her eyebrows pulled together while she lit the joint. she took a hit before passing it to winter, looking away from winter when the other raised it to her lips.
"do you know if you have any other family out there?" ellie asks, still observing the the glowing sky. winter hummed, waiting to breathe out. she shakes her head, holding to joint to ellie when the other turns to her.
"no.. i've never thought about it. dad never brought up anyone, so i assume not." winter scratches her the side of her neck, attempting but failing to remember any information about other family members. "he would've told me, i think.." winter fiddles with her fingers, looking down at her lap.
they sat, passing the joint back and forth a few more times, not talking and instead taking in the sounds around them. there were still faint chirps of crickets, sometimes frog croaking. it got a few degrees cooler, but the gentle breeze every now and then felt good.
"how are dina and jesse?" winter asks when she's passed the weed next. ellie groans, rubbing her left hand over her face before rolling her eyes at winter,
"jesse made a move on her at the last bonfire we had, she threw her drink at him, but they ended up hooking up again. i don't think they even know if they're dating, honestly. that's their pattern, hook up at a party, date for a few months, then break up. i just hope they leave me out of their fights this time." she chuckles and shakes her head, the chuckle obviously more annoyed than amused. winter hums. ellie takes the joint from winter with a shy smile, her eyes sparkling from the lanterns light.
"oh..." winter trails. dina and jesse are smart, winter could pick that up easily. winter assumes romantic feelings must be more intense than she'd previously precieved, so much more dense than the 2d version she was fed through books. maybe it was also because winter just assumed that there wasn't anymore room in the world for these problems. her mouth kept moving before she could realize and stop speaking. "i wonder how being in love feels. it must be overwhelming if they keep finding each other through all these problems." winter picks at her fingers, nerves burning all over her body. this new type of anxious feeling was nauseating almost.
ellie pulls her brows together while breathing the warm smoke in. in some light, winter's curiosity was cute to ellie, but the sincerity of her question also made ellie a little sad for the other. her expression softens when winter looks up to her, anxiously waiting for a response.
"you've seriously never thought about ending up with someone?" ellie holds the joint out to winter. she has a ghost of a pout as she slowly shakes her her head in thought.
"we haven't had travelers in years, we thought everyone was dead.. there wasn't a reason for me to be attracted to anyone, no reason for me to dream about it either. it use to seem so fairytale like before, i guess.. i was told that stuff was for the old world, not this one.." winter shrugs, bringing the stick to her lips again. even though winter tilted her head away from ellie she could still see the hints of confusion in winter's expression.
"we have plenty of people marrying and starting loving families in jackson, it might be a slimmer chance than before, but it's definitely not pointless." ellie nods, thinking of all the boring weddings of tommy and maria's friends she's had to sit through. "respectfully, your dad probably gave up on wanting that after a bit. it's easier to ignore than accept, especially after so long." winter sighs, rubbing her hands over her eyes and cheeks when ellie takes the joint from her.
"yeah.. i.. i think i want that. i think i want to feel that type of love, that deepness. i want to experience that at some point, just.. it doesn't feel like that's realistic for me." winter huffs, frustrated with herself, mostly. she's learned being high means she won't stop talking, she tries not to but it's like her brain is craving for ellie to know more about her. it feels like she has no cover from ellie, and she's not sure if the giddy feeling outweighs the nerves that are bundling up in her stomach. "we laughed about the thought of me having a first kiss, once. that's how alone we thought we were." winter scoffs and shakes her head, a smile filled with disbelief twitched the corners of winter's mouth.
"ellie, i can't even bring myself to be mad at him and the decision to isolate us. i can feel he meant well, i'm just not so sure he had the right idea now.." winter wrinkles the fabric of the edge of the blanket under her fingers.
"i don't think you have to. i mean, the way to go from here is do what you want to and take control of that back. i don't think you should go crazy, obviously, but you deserve to know what the outside is like, how dates are, what types of food there are, how awesome space is, really the list goes goes on." ellie chuckles at winter's playful eye roll.
ellie takes another hit, letting winter process whatever was making those small wheels turn behind her eyes. she could tell the other needed a minute, she'd scrunch and un scrunch her face in thought, still fiddling and pulling at the blanket below her.
"will you be my first kiss?" winter asks, gasping, then quickly chuckling when ellie choked. ellie choked on the smoke, the question making her mouth dry up and throat clench. the choking made her cough harder, glancing up at winter w a confused face while coughing as politely as possible. ellie's face was beat red, her palms starting to sweat as the question sets in. "gosh, you can just say no next time." winter jokes, hoping it hides her matched embarrassment.
"are you serious?" ellie questions back, passing the joint back to winter. she nodded, carefully and slowly taking the weed from ellie's fingers. "no, i mean actually. aren't you into guys? it won't be very enjoyable if you're attracted to guys." ellie feels a wash of anxiety swallow her, her finger tips go cold as she watches winter's face contort as she thinks.
"i don't see why it'd be different between kissing guys or girls, plus you date all of your friends, right?" winter's small smirk drops when ellie leans forward a bit and lightly shoves winter's left shoulder.
"i do not, and i won't let your first kiss be while you're high." ellie crosses her arms in front of her, raising an eyebrow at winter. winter slumps back some, disappointment clear on her face as her brown eyes crinkle up in a slight glare. "you probably won't even remember this, so no kissing while you're high, try again when you aren't." ellie clicks her tongue at her mockingly, smiling when winter huffed back at ellie. she mirrored ellie, crossing her arms, careful of where the cherry of the joint was pointing, and pulling her brows together.
"i can't believe i'm the one friend you won't kiss. this has to be a new low for me." winter mumbles, looking away from ellie and taking a hit from the joint again. ellie loudly scoffs, tilting her chin down as she responds to winter.
"i don't kiss jesse either, and i said not while you're high. interpret that how you want." ellie dramatically rolls her eyes at winter's comments. she lets herself smile some when winter does, noticing a pink hue spread on winters cheeks and ears. winter clears her throat and mumbles something while looking down at her hands, making ellie giggling at how frustrated she actually was.
"just give me the fucking joint, it's my turn." ellie raises her eyebrows and holds her hand out. winter loudly sighs back, muttering a 'whatever' as she passes it to ellie's waiting hand.
ellie leans back, eyes trained on winter's as she brings her hand up to take a puff. she lets the comfortable silence hang in the air for a few more minutes. after they finish the joint, ellie put out the joint, and drops it into the jar, both find themselves looking at the stars again.
ellie turns her head to the right, observing the other's puffy eyes and rosy cheeks.
"how're you feeling?" ellie asks, the corner of her lips quirking into a small smile when winter sighed after hearing ellie talk.
"i feel tired." there was a slight slur between the words, winter slowly blinking at the sky while responding.
ellie quietly chuckles at winter, a fond smile forming on her lips again.
"let's go lay down inside, then. i'm getting tired myself." ellie suggests, winter nodded after a pause. ellie gets up first, holding her right hand out to winter.
winter pulled in a shaky breath, now noticing how dense her bones felt. her hand grasped tightly onto ellie's, using it to steady herself on her feet. once she's standing, winter gives ellie a quick sheepish smile, pulling her hand from ellie's.
ellie wads up the blanket, gently shaking grass off of it, and grabs the jar before turning to where winter stood.
"ready?" ellie tilts her head towards the area where the gate is while holding the blanket out to winter.
winter had a slight grimace on her face but nodded anyway, taking the blanket and following ellie as she picked up the lantern and started toward the cabin. it wasn't until ellie turned around after opening the gate that she noticed winter a few yards behind.
winter hugged the blanket tight to her chest, arms wrapped around it. ellie chuckled at how focused she was on walking. she was looking down in front of her, not aware of ellies eyes or the fact that she was ahead of her.
"you okay?" ellie shouts, giggling when winter fully stopped and looked up at ellie with wide eyes.
"yeah, just.. i feel like my legs are heavy." winter nods while looking back down, walking a little faster now that she knows ellie's waiting on her.
"want me to carry you to the door?" ellie cheekily smiles at winter's blushing. ellie waits for winter to step through the gate, quickly latching it for the other.
"wouldn't that hurt your back? we aren't far anywa-"
"you don't even know how evil dina is. if she has even one drink, suddenly she needs someone to walk for her. i dont mind, winter. i can do it." ellie nods while setting the jar and lantern down by the gate, she has a convincing smile.
"right, uh.." winter mumbles, wrapping the blanket around her back. "what about those?" she points over to the jar and light.
"i'll get them tomorrow, c'mon." ellie turns around, bending down some for winter and also turning the light off. the moon lit the area enough, but it was still a struggle to see. the path was lighter than the grass, though, which would help ellie later stay on it.
winter clumsily climbed on ellie, gasping when ellie stood straight up. ellie laughed at how frozen winter was, seeming almost afraid to be touching ellie this much.
"just lean on my back, hands here." ellie motions by her neck after patting her shoulder. she bites back a smug smile when she feels winter relax and lean forward, she can feel winter's warm front pressed against her.
winter fumbles with her arms, not knowing how to position them, but finally deciding to basically hug ellie. when she brings her arms in front of ellie, ellie hooks hers under winter's knees and lifts her up further on her back. winter gasps again at the movement, the gust of wind from the movement made winter tighten her arms around ellie's front.
ellie has to fight back another smile when she feels winter rest her head on ellie's shoulder, her hair tickling ellie's neck which each step. but she didn't comment on it, if anything she'd wish to always be this close to winter, always.
winter was just entertained by how things looked a few more inches up, it wouldn't be noticeable for other's maybe, but winter's lived here her whole life. she could see the tiniest bit more on the horizon than usual, despite the darkness, it was strange to her. she couldn't stop thinking about how she's now constantly seeing the world in different ways, mostly with ellie's help. even the smallest bit of change for regular people is significant to how plain winter used to view it.
winter only broke out of her thoughts when ellie announced their arrival, instantly smiling and chuckling at her words.
"my queen, we've arrived." ellie hummed as she bent down again for winter, chuckling when the other did.
"why thank you, miss." winter barely bowed as ellie opened the door for her. she heard ellie lock the back door behind her, only focused on finding the bed now.
"slow down, slow down." ellie laughs, jogging to the middle of the living room to be by winter. she gently tugs off the blanket, laying in on the ground and then guiding winter to her room.
"will you sleep here?" winter quietly asks, turned away from ellie, kicking her shoes off and tying her hair back.
"if you're okay with that. i could always go kick it with dot in the barn, too." ellie jokes, putting her shoes by winter's and going to sit on the edge of the bed.
winter stumbled over the the bed, crawling onto the side closer to the wall and dramatically flopping down on her stomach.
"the queen doesn't allow that. just lay down." winter mumbles, reaching her right arm back and feeling for ellie's arm. when she finds it, she feels down to ellie's left hand, pulling it over winter's body and around her side like ellie usually holds her.
ellie giggled while being pulled, holding herself up with her right arm awkwardly as winter squeezes her hand. she lowers her head to winter's shoulder.
"does the queen allow me to turn off the light first?" she giggles between words, pausing with lifted brows when winter groans.
"quick, please." her voice is muffled by the sheets and blankets, and she hesitates to let go of ellie. after winter hears the switch and feels ellie move the blankets to be over them, she reached and pulled ellie's hand back to her again, this time also feeling ellie's front against her back. "let's drop the 'queen' thing, i don't like feeling like you serve me." winter almost whispers, already feeling sleep starting to welcome her.
"sure, baby." ellie mumbles, also sounding on the brink of sleep.
-
when winter woke up she coughed, a weird feeling in the back of her throat. her eyebrows pulled together and she sat up when she didn't feel ellie, the bed feeling cold on the other's side. she's tired and annoyed ellie isn't there, a loud sigh left her.
she rubbed her dry eyes, making her way to the edge of the bed slowly. she stretches before standing, sighing when she sees ellie's boots gone. she sees her back pack though, so at least ellie hadn't left yet. winter doesn't know how dramatic she'd act if ellie had left through the night when they were supposed to have more days together.
when winter gets to the doorway, she can smell something. the unfamiliar smell makes her stomach growl as she pushes the cracked door open.
she slowly walks to the living room, hearing ellie humming lightly in the kitchen. she pauses a moment, just listening to the melody ellie created. she felt something warm in her chest, almost rippling through her body.
she wonders if it's a song ellie's heard somewhere or if it's her own. she imagines ellie would have access to old world music, ellie seemed to know and have everything.
winter lightly steps into the kitchen, trying not to interrupt the first song she's heard in years. she smiles at the sight of ellie, her standing over the stove and stirring something in a pot, completely unaware of winter's presence.
winter hoists herself up onto the counter by the sink, her feet hanging off the floor as she stares at ellie's back.
the humming fades out after a few minutes, ellie transferring whatever she made into two bowls. she then looks around the counter for a second before spinning around with the bowls in her hands.
ellie's eyes widen and her shoulders tighten briefly. when she realizes the other person is winter, she relaxes her shoulders, letting out a small sigh in relief.
"sneaky." ellie says, holding a bowl out to winter and smiling when the other grabbed it. ellie then pat on winter's left knee gently with a 'mm'. winter moved her knee with ellie's hand, letting ellie reach in the drawer off to the side of them for utensils.
winter says a quiet 'thanks' when ellie hands her the fork. she waits before eating, moving the food around in the bowl with a quizzical look.
ellie leans against the counter to winter's right, turned a bit towards the other.
"it's chef boyardee. like, pasta and twenty year old meat." ellie says, shoveling a fork-full in her mouth. she swallows before continuing, sniffling once. "i took it from my special stash, feel lucky." she playfully says, making winter chuckle.
"so lucky." winter trails off, trying the food. she hummed when the taste hit her. It was definitely old, but had more flavor than she was used to.
"good?" ellie asks while still chewing. winter nods, taking another bite. "good." ellie says fondly, a small smile stays on her lips as she ate.
ellie waited until they were done eating before asking her more questions, noticing how tired winter still looked. winter took ellie's bowl, putting it on hers as she leaned over to set it in the sink.
"you feeling okay from last night?" ellie asks, scanning winter's face for discomfort. winter purses her lips while nodding.
"yeah, i'm just tired still. my mind's fuzzy." winter says, rubbing her eyes again.
"do you remember last night? or do you mean fuzzy as a stuffy feeling in your head?" winter thinks back to last night, she thinks she remembers it all, just maybe not how ellie did.
"stuffy feeling. i remember last night, how could i not remember my newest low?" winter groans with a slight chuckle, leaning her head back on the cabinets behind her.
"good god, i said not while high. not never." ellie dramatically sighs, raising her brows at winter when she perked up at ellie's comment.
"not never?" winter feels her cheeks get warmer, her neck feeling tingly in anticipation.
"i just don't want you to regret it." ellie shrugs, her ears tinging pink. winter frantically shakes her head at ellie, eager to respond now.
"i won't." that's all she could get herself to say, to nervous and excited to pull thoughts together and form more sentences. silence looks over them both, a little awkward. "i'm not high now." winter pipes up, wanting to cringe at how embarrassing it sounded. the desperation should make ellie uninterested, winter thinks, only proven wrong when ellie laughs.
it's a full laugh, ellie quickly reigns it in when she sees winter's blush deepen. she tilts her head while watching winter, the other starting to look around the room. anywhere but ellie.
"yeah? you aren't?" ellie quips, amused with how fluster winter was now.
"i'm not." winter replies shortly, glancing at ellie.
"meaning?" ellie trails off, faking a confused look as she pretends to think about it. she shuffles in front of winter, resting her hands on the counter on either side of winter.
"meaning i'd like a kiss, and i won't regret it." winter tries to seem not as affected as she is, knowing its probably a poor cover by ellie's growing smile.
"there's probably nicer ways to ask, right?" ellie teases, chuckling as winter deflates a little. her shoulders were slightly slumped as she stares up into ellie's eyes.
".. please?" it was so quiet ellie almost didn't hear, so quiet she thought of asking winter to speak up, but she figured her teasing was enough stress for now. ellie gently leaned in, slow enough that winter could pull away if she decided.
winter held her breath as if it'd somehow scare to moment away. when ellie's lips met winter's, winter felt her chest explode. the soft, gentle movement of ellie's lips made winter's bones feel like jelly. ellie's right hand held winter's left cheek, barely pulling her closer. winter's right hand tugged lightly on the stomach of ellie's shirt, making ellie sigh into the kiss. winter felt her body relax at the feeling of ellie, inviting the other. she didn't want to stop it, she wanted whatever feeling she was feeling to continue, but holding her breath has caught up finally.
winter let out the breath she was holding, pulling away to steady her breathing. ellie wanted to chase her lips, wanted to feel the other as close as possible, but she didn't. ellie slowly drops her hand, leaning back to give winter space. ellie's gaze was filled with adoration, winter's with curiosity and want.
"i don't regret it, but i do have to go feed animals and let them out." ellie hummed, motioning to winter's left with her head. winter furrowed her brows and followed ellie's movements, her eyes landing on the lantern and jar by the backdoor.
"i took care of them while i was out there. you don't usually sleep in." ellie smiles. winter beams up at her.
"really?" she asks genuinely. ellie nods.
"yeah, it was no problem. one of the chickens are not fond of me, though." ellies scoffs, chuckling at the memory. "it chased me out, chuckling and screaming, they were tough as shit! even trying to break through the fence after i was out, not a happy bird." ellie giggles, turning around to the pot on the stove and placing it in the sink also.
"white-ish with brown spots on the back?" winter asks, nodding along with ellie's story.
"yeah! does the fucker not like anyone?" ellie exclaims, a small laugh tailing the end. winter clicks her tongue.
"bad juju, ellie.. i'm telling you, she had you down day one. i've only seen her go that crazy over infected, did you look at her like you were hungry?" winter raises a brow at ellie, the other silent for a minute.
"like.. only after she was freaking the fuck out, though!" winter shakes her head at ellie causing her to sigh. "it was a fleeting thought, squashed by my chef boyardee can, so don't worry about my juju or your chickens." she mumbles.