Dedicated to _Risa_1 TxTsLastBraincell rirue220
Important Announcement
Before starting off this chapter I would l like to announce that Koi No Yokan now has a Spanish adaptation. SkzworldDomination11 is translating the story and the first chapter has already been uploaded. If any of you prefer Spanish then do check it out
Ji ah's POV:
The funny encounter with Go woon's admirer who turned out to be Ju gyeoung's brother left an unsettling feeling in my heart.
Lim ju gyeoung's brother is head over heels for Go woon-ah. Just like... just like Han seojun used to be for her. It would have been perfect if it weren't for me and Lee su ho.
Even their mothers are best friends. It makes so much sense. Then why didn't it work out? Is he thinking the same thing? Does he regret moving on?
"Earth to Ji ah??" His voice made me snap out of it. The fog lifted and I looked at Han seojun sitting right across from me. The bag of his panties still hanging around his neck. This guy won't even let me touch it.
We were in the cafeteria and I was supposed to feed him the soup I made for him, but I zoned out. "What's wrong? I can hear the wheels turning" Seojun asked again, his voice laced with confusion.
I bet if it weren't for the cast, he would be tapping on my forehead as if it were a damn door. Getting back to the question he asked, I had already replied to him in my head, and after hearing myself saying all that nonsense I wanted to smack myself for being so stupid.
Those thoughts were so dumb and illogical. I should've been laughing instead of getting worried over a mere coincidence. "Nothing I was just thinking if I forgot to put salt in it," I said as I pulled my chair closer to where he was sitting.
Scooting a little closer, I lifted a spoon full of soup for him to taste."Here, try it" I said but he just blankly stared at me. "You think I'm dumb?" He said.
I pulled the spoon away, putting it back in the bowl. "I was thinking about Lim ju young, you were too hard on him" I wasn't lying, right?
Han seojun: "I did exactly what was needed to be done.
Ji ah: " But he's so sweet and funny, I wonder why Go woon-ah doesn't like him"
"You can't force feelings Ji ah! You're the one who taught me that" Han seojun said then opened his mouth gesturing me to feed him.
I didn't say anything and lifted a spoon to him. He gulped it down and continued "He'll find his match"
Ji ah: "Or may be Go woon will fall for him eventually"
Han seojun: "Only if she didn't fall for anybody else before that"
"Like Ju gyeoung fell for Lee su ho" I thought then realized I was doing it again. Letting go of these thoughts I fed him and watched him eat with silence. "It's surprisingly tasty," he said being overly critical like a chef, which he's clearly not.
Ji ah: "What's so surprising?"
Han seojun: "Food for sick people isn't supposed to be this good"
Ji ah: "You're not sick. You just need to regain your strength"
I said, giving him another spoon full. "How do you manage to eat when you can't even pee?" I said without giving much thought to the choice of my words but the silence in response was too loud.
And then I realized that I wasn't supposed to bring that up again. I sneaked a glance at him and as expected my boyfriend was digging holes in my skull with his sharp eyes. It was a blow to his ego.
But before I could say sorry which by the way is my go-to reflex, Han seojun got up and started walking away. God, he's been showing more tantrums since we patched up. He must have hit his head really hard.
If it weren't for the current circumstances I would've never put up with this. However, he's been here for so many days now and the poor guy can't even eat himself.
So I sucked it up and started running after him,
Ji ah: "You're sure fast for a bedridden guy, slow down!"
Han seojun: "I'm not bedridden!"
Phew! At least he's not giving the silent treatment. It wasn't hard to keep up with him and I was by his side in a minute.
Ji ah: "Come on! Han seojun it's not even offensive"
Han seojun: Silence
Ji ah: "Stop being a drama queen, it's just a silly joke"
Han seojun: huff and a much longer silence.
I spoke too soon, I guess. He was giving me the silent treatment. I understand that he's cranky, after all, he has to breathe the same air as Lee su ho.
"Seo jun-ahh! Listen..." However, I couldn't complete whatever I was going to say because as soon as the door opened, we were engulfed by the loud voices of Kim cho rong and the others.
"Han seojun! You're alive!"
"Ohh! You look so sexy in these clothes, so flashy! you've got swag!!"
"I was so worried, I even lost my appetite"
They started playing with his underwear, wearing them on their heads, "Give it back" Han seojun shouted
Kim cho rong was crying and being overly dramatic.
I almost didn't see Ah In gyu and Tae Hoon standing beside Lee su ho's bed. The former was holding broken aloe vera and the latter was dabbing Lee su with a tissue.
What was going on here?? And where's Lim Ju? Did she leave already?
Han seojun sat on his bed and I sat beside him, our little banter long forgotten when Tae Hoon removed Lee su ho's comforter, revealing an unusually small foot covered in pink socks.
My head swung towards Han seojun and he was already looking at me, mirroring my expression. I've never been so angry at Lim ju gyeoung. How can someone be this horny?
Lee su ho looked at us with pleading eyes and Han seojun sighed with annoyance. He's tired of their hide and seek
Han seojun got up in a flash, I on the other hand went totally blank. He nudged me and that's when I stood up also. It's total chaos.
Han seojun: "You guys should leave now"
Kim Cho rong: " No, we are going to stay the night to take care of you"
Han seojun: "No, you can't stay now go, leave"
Kim Cho rong: "Why are you dying to send us off?"
"Because.. because I want to be alone with Hwang Ji ah!" Han seojun shouted and all eyes were now on me, as if no one had noticed me before in the room. "You guys are back together?" Kim cho rong asked stunned by the revelation.
His reaction makes sense because it all happened in the hospital so basically nobody had a clue about us being back together except our families ofcourse. "Yes, we are! Now get lost and give us some privacy" Han seojun yelled at him, he sounded even more cranky now.
"Then we should take Lee su ho with us" Tae hoon said and tried to remove the comforter again but Hanseojun and Lee su ho both yelled at him while Lee su ho held onto the comforter as if his life depended on it and At that moment yeah, it did.
"How can you ask for privacy with Lee su ho in the room?" Ah in gyo chimed in. "I totally ship the romance " Man sik spoke up next. " I'm your cupid and you didn't even give me a treat Hwang Ji ah" Kim cho rong started whining.
The guys were so loud I couldn't understand a single word. They all were yelling multiple things at the same time and it was a complete mess.
So, I decided to take charge but what could possibly work in this scenario? Think! Think! "Yeo ha Jin!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and all eyes were again on me. "Yeo ha jin is shooting in the hospital lobby, you guys should go and look." I don't know why I said that but it just popped up in my mind.
"The nation's love YEO HA JIN is shooting in this hospital!!?? " Ah in gyu practically said that to himself and ran out of the door. Tae hoon apologized to Lee su for leaving and ran after him. In a split second, all of us were outside.
"That was close" I sighed with relief "I'm going with them, you should get going for your session," Han seojun told me and then it dawned on me. I had a therapy session today.
Ji-ah: " I totally forgot about that!"
Han seojun: "it's ok! I got you"
Han seojun flashed a smile at me that made my legs go wobbly. "I'll catch you later" I kissed his cheek and left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Here!" "You carry this around with you?" "I sighed, barely listening to what the girls were talking about as my mind wandered about Han seojun. What is he doing right now? Is he doing ok? that's all I've been thinking about the whole day and staring at his empty chair made it worse.
I wish I could see him every day but I'm so swamped with my part-time job, school, and artsy stuff that I hardly get to spend any time with him. I can't wait for him to be able to use his phone again, that'll be much better.
I only pay him a visit whenever I have therapy which is twice a week. But I'm determined to visit him more often from now on, I even made a little something for him last night, I'll surprise him with it next time I get to see him.
"Ji ah?" Su ah nudged me with her elbow and I turned to look at her for the first time since lunch break started. "Don't ignore us?" She whined with her puppy face. I mumbled an apology and asked her about the reflector she was holding.
"I need to give my greatest effort when I take a selfie to share with my loyal followers" she replied and immediately took a cute selfie after that. "There's a contest to select a goddess on Instagram so I should post this" Su ah said.
"Do you guys want to post one too?" her question was directed towards me and Lim ju gyeoung. "Let me know if there's any Art Goddess contest in the future, that suits me better" I replied and Lim ju also refused saying that she was ok.
But all the other girls started telling her how she looked like a goddess and she should totally go for it. "Hey! Don't push her if she's not interested" I said but these girls become deaf when it comes to beauty and selfies and blah blah blah.
" I'll put my entire soul into taking this picture" Su ah said excitedly and Lim ju gyeoung gave in. I watched her posing for the picture and got bored in seconds. My eyes wandered around my surroundings when I noticed a girl right across from us.
She was hiding behind the wall, however, I could see her, holding out her phone. Is she filming us? I would have just ignored her but I've changed for the better. I stood up but before I could take a step, Kang su jin showed up and snatched the phone out of her hands.
I started walking towards them. I could see Kang su jin swiping through her phone and speaking something however I couldn't hear anything. As soon as I reached there, the girl snatched her phone out of Su jin's hands and ran away.
"What was that?" I inquired. "I thought she was filming you guys, but she was just taking photos of the scenery" Kang su jin replied nonchalantly. "She seemed too frantic though," I said. "I checked her phone, don't worry," Kang su jin said, then a huge smile embraced her face.
She linked our arms together and we headed back to our friends. Kang se jin spoke again"What are they doing anyway?" "Just some stupid contest," I remarked but Su ah cut me off. "It's not stupid ok!? what if some modeling agency sees my photos and want me to model for them ?!!" Su ah said excitedly, jumping up and down like a hyperactive bunny.
"The only thing they are watching is your attitude honey," Kang su jin said sarcastically which made us laugh, and Su ah pout. "You're turning into a meany Su jin-ah!" Su ah whined. "I'm a mean girl," Kang su jin said but was it supposed to be sarcastic? Because for a moment, she sounded serious...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can hear the clock ticking, and my heart beating against my chest so loud that I'm afraid it'll pop out any second as I sit in the therapy room. I'm usually not this uneasy on my visits, but things are getting a little out of my comfort zone now. It's true healing time.
The reason I'm this sweaty and unable to gulp down the building tears in my throat is because my therapist asked me to read out the letter I wrote to my childhood self. During my last session, she gave me this exercise in which I had to visualize my childhood room, go inside and talk to my little version.
Say all the things that I needed to hear at that time. Things which, if anybody had done to me I wouldn't have been so troubled all my life. At first, I thought she was crazy to ask me to do such a thing but when I tried to do it, It made sense.
When I sat in my bed with my eyes closed, trying to envision myself, my throat immediately went dry. I couldn't walk through that door. Initially, my therapist wanted me to make a painting. A painting where I was there, my 18-year-old version right next to my 10-year-old one. But I knew that I won't be able to pick up the paintbrush to do that.
I didn't have the courage to look at that painting every day and relive that. So I decided to visualize it and then write it out so I could burn it afterward. But I didn't know that reading it out loud was a part of all this. I was not ready, I'm not ready!!
"Go on Ji ah! Put an end to it" I heard her say, so blowing out a heavy breath, I jumped in.
I stood outside my bedroom door, my legs shaking constantly. My hand rested on the doorknob. It took me a while to muster up the courage but then I took a huge breath and finally turned it. I walked in on myself scribbling on my sketchbook in my bed.
I talked to her and told her how wonderful and amazing she would become. How beautiful and artistic and smart she would be. How hard it would be for people to forget her and how easy it would be for them to love her.
That she's not what Dad is projecting on her. She didn't have to succumb to his pressure. She didn't have to live every day fearing him. There's nobody telling her that she's crazy. She can open up to her mom and his tyranny would end.
Then I picked her up and took her home with me. I told her that she would find an amazing guy, an amazing family, and better days will come for sure. She got the most loving hug and forehead kiss and I also stopped on the way to get her a happy meal. Gosh, that makes me giggle with joy and she giggled too. She was safe, she was happy. I made my childhood wish true.
But it's painful to realize that she didn't understand why I would want to reassure her.
The last letter etched on that paper left my mouth and man did I ugly cry. Once the tears subsided a bit I lifted my eyes to look at my therapist with a cloudy vision. She gave me a proud smile and told me that I did well. I smile back through my tears and then burned that piece of paper.
It didn't seem possible before but the weight off my heart after that was unreal. I'm a survivor and I'm so proud of myself.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know what to say besides that thank you for sticking around. I can't believe that someone out there liked my story enough to translate it into another language. I'm really thankful to everyone for reading.
The therapy scene is taken by a post I saw on Instagram, Her Instagram handle is called "growingwithsass" You can check it out If you resonated with that therapy session.
Thanks again for reading, do vote for this chapter and leave comments. I love to read them. Until next time. _Max