I think healing is a beautiful thing.
And although scars are permanent. Healing is still a gradual process. One that should never be rushed.
So.
Whether we notice or not—𝗌𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝖽𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾.
But.
They never really go away.
｡ ﾟ•┈୨ Journal entry 35 ୧┈• ｡ ﾟ
Felix's pov <2 weeks later>
"That's it—that's it—beautiful—beautiful—keep that pose."
The camera clicks and there's a flash. I don't move, keeping my palm pressed against my cheek and my head tilted to the side as the photographer moves closer to only get a shot of my upper body. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖵𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗇𝗇𝖾 𝖶𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗐𝗈𝗈𝖽 pearl necklace around my neck being the main piece in today's photoshoot.
This is my first photoshoot in weeks, since that day—since the incident. It was hard but I didn't want to leave the house. It was like I had this gloomy cloud over me that made me feel trapped. My mood kept changing and my anxiety was through the roof. The tense feeling in my muscles wouldn't go away and sometimes I was so irritated that it didn't make any sense to me. I just didn't understand my emotions.
At night I had nightmares and they weren't about my aunt. For the first time in a long time, my nightmares were different—𝗌𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗋—𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝖿𝖿𝗈𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀. And it was always the same thing. I'm being touched in places I don't want to be touched by someone I don't want to be touched by. A faceless man with a glowing red smile. He mocks me with the dirtiest words and for some reason, 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄—𝖨'𝗆 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌.
Every day felt long and tiring like I was battling constant emotions I didn't understand. Why am I annoyed when I'm not supposed to be? Why am I crying if nothing is wrong?
And if it's one thing I learned is that it's not easy to cope. To find a way 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇. When everything feels...𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝗂𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍.
The past two weeks were depressing—so depressing but Hyunjin never left my side. He put up with my mood swings and he never got upset, he never treated me differently. And he kept calling me Angel even when they were times I didn't want to talk to him. I couldn't help it when I got quiet but he always seemed to understand. He made sure I never missed a meal and ate with me every time. We always cuddled and he held me when I cried. The most comforting words would come out of his mouth and it helped me calm down every time. When I woke up shaking and screaming from a nightmare. He was always there. To pull me into his arms and remind me that I'm safe, that no one can hurt me and that he's here.
And that was my life for a while.
I couldn't explain the extreme tiredness I felt—the extreme emptiness. Although all I did was stay in bed. My energy was just—𝗀𝗈𝗇𝖾. I didn't want to go outside. I didn't want to be around people. I wasn't in the mood for socializing. So I didn't work either. I missed so many photoshoots. So many opportunities. I just couldn't. But I'm not letting that bother me. The photoshoot I'm working on today it's for a magazine. And not just any magazine but a Top Fashion Magazine. For 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽. I don't usually read articles but Jeongin sent me one last week. And l quite literally lost it when I saw that it was about me.
<A fresh face who seemed to come out of nowhere blessing the cover of every magazine with his Angelic-like visuals. Who is he and where did he come from?>
I can't believe people are curious about me—𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒.
___________
Hyunjin's pov
I look at the man sitting across me. His features so similar to mine and his once black hair fully gray now and I wonder is this how I'll look when I'm older?
"You did well managing the company while I was gone." My dad doesn't look at me keeping his eyes glued to the important documents in his hand as he holds his glass of whiskey in the other.
I only hum staring down at my watch. 5:45 and it's already so dark outside. That's wintertime for you.
"Are we done?" I ask my dad, already reaching for my jacket.
He places the documents on the coffee table, finally looking at me. "What's got you so in a rush? Did you finally find yourself a girlfriend?"
I stop myself from smirking. Should I just tell him?
"I am dating someone." I stand up, putting on my jacket.
I don't miss how my dad's eyes widen before he fixes his composure.
"Does your mom know?"
Of course that's the first thing he asks.
"She doesn't."
"When can I meet her."
"He."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm dating a guy."
I can't read my dad's expression. Neither of us says anything and the silence stretches out for a minute.
"I have to go now." I turn on my feet, in the direction of the front door already taking a couple of steps.
"Hyunjin."
I stop.
"Bring him...I want to meet him."
I turn around. He's serious. I nod in silence, a weird fuzzy feeling entering my chest. Then I leave, getting in my car. Felix's photoshoot will be ending soon and I promised him I'd pick him up.
....
I walk into the dimly lit studio and blond hair immediately catches my attention. My little Angel is surrounded by people. Styling his hair and doing his makeup. He closes his eyes as the makeup artist applies eye shadow to his eyelids. His speckles of freckles are still on display and I'm glad they kept it that way.
I find myself a wall to stand against in the corner. My eyes not leaving him. After everything he went through these past couple of weeks, I can't explain the emotions I feel seeing him like this. I couldn't show it but it was hard, watching him be so unhappy. Even in his sleep, he couldn't seem to catch a break. If he wasn't yelling out in his sleep for help it would be screaming. And I would have to comfort him 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾. And a part of me would blame myself 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾. For what happened to him in the bathroom. It doesn't make sense right? But I wish I had made it in there faster. 𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽.
He stands up, letting the stylists fix his white oversized button-up shirt and my pulse speeds up as his eyes begin to search around the room. Is he looking for me? Judging by the time this must be his last shoot. I move, stepping out of the corner and finding someplace else to stand.
When he sees me—he smiles. His pretty brown eyes brightening up at the same time. Any tension I had before leaves my body and I can't help but smile back at him.
Then his attention is stolen by someone else. He gets called by the photographer who starts explaining something to him and he only nods the entire time looking a bit nervous. I watch him walk over to the white backdrop where there are white pillows all over the floor. He sets himself down on them positioning his body sideways. Legs stretched before he brings one leg up as he drops the side of his face down on his knee.
The second he tells the photographer he's ready he stares into the camera. Eyes changing and becoming softer. And with every click and flash he blinks slowly, his long lashes fluttering each time.
And all eyes are on him, everybody in the room including me. For some reason you just can't look away from him. He looks 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗎𝗅—𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗎𝗇𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅. The lightening on his skin makes him look so ethereal, like he's a fairy—extremely delicate and dainty. But not only that I can also see how precessional he has become.
So this is a side of him I've never seen.
And suddenly I shiver as our eyes meet and he's biting down on his bottom lip slowly. His innocent gaze burning into mine before he stares back into the camera.
Fuck, what was that? My heart stutters, making my chest feel like I had just run up a flight of stairs.
And it doesn't happen just once. For the rest of the photo shoot, he continues this silent game he's started between us. Because he knows 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒. As he changes his pose. As he parts his lips even as he lies down and arches his back off the pillows. He stares into my eyes for a short second before focusing back on the camera. And he does all this while looking 𝖲𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗈𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍—𝖲𝗈 𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀.
And all it does is rile me up. I don't pray that often but here I am begging to not get a hard on among all these people.
And I find myself almost losing it every time—Every time he stares my way.
Every time he changes his pose and it's a position that only makes my mind wander to things I shouldn't be thinking of at a time like this. But he doesn't make things any easier for me as he sends me his coy little looks and moves his body slowly on top of the bunch of pillows.
And shit I never thought about how he'd look in an oversized button up shirt but now fucking him in one is on the list of things I want to do before I die.
Almost to the end of the shoot I come to the only logical conclusion I can think of—
I'm pent up. So fucking pent up.
But I know the only way I'm getting any type of release tonight is with my hand.
________
Felix's pov
I watch Hyunjin, pull his key out of his pocket. His long fingers fumbling to get the lock open.
Since my photoshoot ended he's been acting a little weird. Weird in—he doesn't want to look me in the eyes.
As soon as he opens the door he lets me step inside first and I turn around at the sound of the door closing to already see him taking off his jacket. I do the same, after taking off my shoes. Then I meet him in the kitchen and the silence between us is now mixed with a little bit of tension. But it's nothing awkward just something different—something new.
He goes up to the sink as he begins washing his hands and I come up behind him just for him to flinch as I press my body against his back.
"I want to wash my hands as well," I say as I stand to the side still pressed against him. His body stiffens and he quickly washes his hands before moving to the other side of the kitchen, grabbing himself a paper towel.
For some reason, I'm smiling my mood being the best it's been in weeks but also because there's a sudden curiosity bubbling in my mind-
"What do you want to have for dinner tonight?"
I turn around to see Hyunjin rolling up his sleeves. The visible veins on his forearm distracting me for a second. Until I remember his question. "Uh-" I swallow "anything—anything you want" I fumble through my words as heat rushes to every part of my body. "I mean why don't you pick for once."
He gives me a look as a glint of amusement enters his eyes. I go suddenly weak in the knees. Then he's taking a few steps.
"Right now I don't think I'm in the right mind to make any decisions" he looms over me.
I blink up at him. "Right mind?" For dinner...
He takes a step closer which presses me against the edge of the counter. The amusement in his eyes gone. Replaced by something dark.
Oh so now he has no problem looking in me in the eyes.
Lifting my arms I wrap them around his neck. And I rise to my tippy toes until we're the same height. I stare into his eyes my voice soft I say "You know you never told me what you thought about my modeling today." No one I know has ever seen me, model. So of course I'm curious. "Was I pretty?"
He almost smiles. And I feel his arms slowly wrap around my waist. Leaving no space between us. The scent of his collagen so strong it feels like I'm being engulfed by him somehow.
"You were more than pretty."
My lips curve into a smile.
"The white background, the lighting, the pearls...you were simply ethereal."
Oh.
I feel my eyes widen. And I'm breathless as I feel so many flutters of emotions at once.
He smirks with a look of satisfaction "You're good at making yourself look innocent for the camera."
Well, that was what the photographer asked me to do. Look innocent he said—𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗍. And although I wasn't sure how to look innocent and enticing at the same time I did try my best.
"But tell me" Hyunjin's voice lowers as I feel his arms around my waist slightly tighten. The heat of our bodies pressed against each other making me weaker. "Was it fun sending me your little teasing looks?"
I try to hold back my smile but I can't. How else was I supposed to show my so called enticing side?
"And if I said it was?"
He raises an eyebrow at me. "Who else do you think saw you ?"
"Does it matter?" I move my hands to the back of his head, threading my fingers through his soft hair. "I was only looking at you" I pull on his strands lightly, feeling his body jolt against mine.
He doesn't say anything right away as he focuses his eyes on my face until I wet my lips and his gaze drops "Don't let it happen again."
A cheeky smile lifts on my lips "Why?" I press into him just to shiver at the feeling of his hard length pressing against me."Did I perhaps make you..." My words trail off, voice quiet as I press into his erection harder.
A rough noise leaves his throat "Felix" He says and sighs "What am I going to do with you."
What I hear is, I want to kiss you.
I place my fingers on his shoulders as I lean in closing my eyes, ready to kiss his lips. But instead, my body is no longer pressed against his, and my feet are planted on the floor again. And his hands move to my hips, keeping me in place, creating this distance between us that I don't understand.
I meet his eyes, confused "You don't want to?" My tone softens pathetically. The hurt in my voice so clear it annoys me somehow. God, I'm so—why do I feel sad? Why did I assume—it's just that we haven't kissed in so long. Maybe I read the mood wrong.
With one hand he grabs the edge of the counter, stepping closer until there's nowhere left for me to go. And he leans down pressing his forehead to my shoulder. "Of course I want to" he breathes. His voice soft.
And I stay silent even more confused now.
"I just-" is all he says, he swallows. Then he shifts pulling his forehead away from my shoulder as he stands straight to look down at me.
My heart clenches. I try not to avert his gaze and I meet his eyes instead. "If you don't want to kiss we don't have to." The words leave my lips in a rush. "I mean we don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to."
He halts, and all I feel is confusion.
He sighs deeply, dropping his head "No I want to" he admits, dragging one hand through his dark hair. "I wanted to kiss you since your photoshoot ended—" I don't even have a chance to process his words before he's moving on to another sentence. "fuck It's just that-" He runs his hand through his hair again."I planned on holding myself back tonight."
"Huh," I feel myself frown "Why?"
He looks away as if he's contemplating whether to answer until I regret letting the words slip out. It's a simple question right?
His eyes come back to mine a hint of hesitance in his stare.
"These past weeks have been so hard for you" he begins and something in my chest halts. "seeing you smile today—seeing you be your normal self again, made me think about something that's been on my mind for a while now..." he pauses and his face looks serious now.
My heart takes off, beating fast. Part of me was nervous from the start to know what's really on his mind. But I'd rather listen than not know at all. If something's bothering him, especially if it's something to do with our relationship I want to be the first person he comes to—always.
"I want to take care of you in other ways and not just through sex" he finally continues "but emotionally as well." He pauses again, staring at my face, almost like he's trying to read my expression but all I do is swallow the nervous lump of emotions that's been growing in my throat. "Sometimes I didn't know what to do when you were sad—I didn't know if I was doing the right things." The muscles in his forearm flex as he grips the edge of the counter tighter, taking in a deep breathe. "I want to protect and care for you better. But I always end up feeling powerless in the situation instead. I always end up thinking about a bunch of 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧𝘴—what if I had run after you quicker that night when you saw your aunt, maybe you wouldn't have ended up in the streets lost and in the cold. What if I had listened to my mind that day in the restaurant and went to check on you sooner, maybe that guy wouldn't have hurt you—" the muscles along his jaw clench before he continues his sentence"he wouldn't have touched you."
My throat tightens, stopping any words from coming out.
But he's not done, of course he's not done and I don't know how much more 𝗆𝗒 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗉𝗂𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝖺𝗀𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 can take.
"I just-" he stutters. Hwang Hyunjin doesn't stutter.
"what I'm trying to say is—"
God, I love him.
"I want to cherish you more."
My body goes hot. Suddenly everything feels like it's too much and I lean closer, hiding my face in his chest as I grip onto the material of his shirt. This isn't the first time he's made me feel like this—like my world wouldn't be complete without him.
"Baby" he whispers and I shiver, shutting my eyes as I bury my face deeper into his chest. Inhaling the scent of sandalwood until I feel the dizziness taking over. And his arm move, wrapping around my waist tightly "did my words bother you?"
Stupid. Why would any thing he just said bother me? "Mnm" Heat travels to the tips of my ears and I shake my head, gripping onto his shirt tighter. "It's just that I'm happy..." I say, my words muffled against his chest.
He laughs lightly "what was that?"
I raise my head, meeting his dark brown eyes. His gaze so soft I feel my heart flutter in my chest. "I'm happy you're my first" I tell him, my voice wobbling only a tiny bit. "I've never had anyone care for me as much as you do Hyunjin, so don't ever feel like you're not doing enough for me—because you do, you always do." I don't know if that was the right thing to say but his eyes water and my lips slowly curve into a smile. I rise to my tiptoes and I kiss him, pressing my lips against his gently "I love you" I tell him " I love you so much" I say softly again.
Pink creeps over his cheeks and I swear I can't explain exactly what I just felt. We haven't kissed in two weeks and that kiss just felt like magic.
He draws in a breath "God you really are an Angel you know that?" I feel my cheeks flush at his words. Then he cups my face with his hand "I love you too, so very much." He leans in, so carefully, gives my lips a soft peck, before he pulls away staring into my eyes.
More.
I whisper his name and the next second his lips are pressed against mine. I slide my arms around his neck, rising on the tips of my toes. And this time the kiss goes deeper, he parts my lips and of course I don't refuse. His arms tighten around my waist, keeping me as close as possible. Only deepening the kiss and I can feel how desperately he wants me, how desperately we want each other.
Then he's lifting me up and I'm wrapping my legs around him tightly. I'm expecting him to carry me to his room but we find our self in the living room. And he walks us to the couch where we melt into each other's bodies—our lips still connected.
Hyunjin's cool fingertips slips under my shirt, finding my waist, slowly sliding up my body. The feel of his fingernails grazing my skin making me shiver. While his other hand remains on my thigh doing the same. His touch is gentle and somewhat tentative. I can feel how cautious he is with me these days. How he touches me like I might fall apart and break into a million pieces. I roll my hips on top of him, moaning into his mouth and I know it's a bit much but I can't help myself. I can feel just how hard he is and it's driving me crazy. He grunts, gripping onto my thigh. And another moan escapes my lips as I run my hands down his chest. He breathlessly says my name his hands grabbing onto my hips as he keeps me in place.
Is he still holding himself back?
cute.
I try rolling myself against the hard bulge in his pants, only giggling and breaking the kiss as I feel him grip onto my hips tighter. I put my lips against his ear my voice low and sensuous as I say "tell me what you want" before slowly kissing my way down his neck.
"Baby ple-" he sucks in a breath as I reach for the buttons on his shirt, undoing them slowly.
"Say it" I whisper as I continue to place butterfly kisses along his neck, still carefully undoing his buttons and revealing his firm chest.
Then he jerks his hips up, holding onto my hips tightly as he rolls my ass onto his hard length. My breath catches in my throat and I press my lips together, arching my back as I hold in a startled whimper.
"Baby I want you" He begs, voice rough.
A desperate heat begins to build in the pit of my stomach at his words. And I pull away from his neck to find his mouth, kissing his full soft lips while I stare into his eyes. Heart pounding I teasingly ask "what was that ?"
Hyunjin's eyes grow dark, his grip on my hips tightening "I fucking want you" his raspy voice sends a tingle up spine forcing me to submit.
And the next second I'm shifting on his lap, running my hand down his firm chest and feeling the leanness of his body before I begin kissing my way down his torso. He only watches me, breathing hard with his fist clenched to his side. It's so obvious how's he's trying to control himself. But I think breaking him tonight will be fun.
I move again this time plopping myself down in front of him on the floor. And his gaze grows intense as he watches me sink to my knees between his legs. I let my eyes roam over his body taking in the view of him from where I'm kneeling on the floor and only one word can describe him from this angle.
Sexy.
He looks so sexy
and he's all mine.
I lean forward, reaching out and unbuckling his belt. "Jinnie..." I say softly, staring up at him before I unzip his pants. And his breath shudders as I pull the band of his boxers down slightly, giving me enough access for what I'm about to do. And my eyes drop immediately at the sight of his hard shaft springing out to rest on his stomach.
I give him a look and say "You're this hard and you planned on holding yourself back."
He smirks down at me, the dark sultry look in his eyes sending shocks of tingles all over my body. "I was just gonna jerk myself off in the bathroom tonight" Hyunjin admits, holding my gaze. "Or would you rather..." he leans forward, reaching out until his thumb traces the bottom of my lip "I had jerked off while watching you sleep instead?"
A stunned gasp leaves my lips and I stare at him not knowing how to respond to that.
He watches my expression, arousal and amusement glinting in his eyes.
Gosh I don't get him sometimes.
"I don't like either" I say leaning closer and wrapping my hand around his hard length. And I watch as his eyes fall close, his head dropping back as he makes a sound between a deep moan and a groan. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do next. Before I begin stroking him slowly, my right hand tentatively curling around the base of his cock, moving at the same pace to match the movements of my other hand. Since my hands are too small, using just one won't get him off. I've seen him touch himself before and I think I know just how he likes it.
Slowly I trace my fingertip around the head of his cock, spreading his precum down the length of his dick and I hear his breath quicken. My hands now gliding up and down his hard shaft. The precum leaking from his tip making my movements smooth and slippery.
"Hah...Fuck " he curses under his breath. I look up at him to see his eyebrows pinched together and his eyes still closed.
"Jinnie" I lick my lips, firmly working my hands at a faster pace "keep your eyes open for me" I command sweetly, my grip tightening around his hard shaft "look at me."
He grunts, slowly opening his eyes his lustful gaze falling to my hands which are now slick with precum, sliding up and down his pulsing length, pumping him slowly now.
"Am I doing it right?" I ask now making my strokes painfully slow before rubbing my thumb over the head of his cock and swiping more precum from the tip.
"So-so good" He breaths hard, finally looking me in the eyes "fuck baby you're too good to me" he groans keeping his gaze on mine. My grip around him tightens as my movements stop completely and I hear his breath catch as I watch his nails sink deeper into the arm of the couch.
"Felix—" he groans low and I squeeze around him tighter, pressing into the head of his cock to stop him from cumming. He winces staring into my eyes with a desperate look I've never seen before. A look I quite like."Please don't stop" he begs. His tone even more desperate than before as beads of sweat drip down his face.
I slide my hand down, stroking him once and he shudders the muscles in his stomach tightening as he lets out a low moan. I stroke him slowly again, jerking him up and down now, gradually picking up my pace with each pump. "You like it that much hm?" I ask, loving the way he reacts to my touch. I use the tip of my finger, lightly making small circles around the tip of his cock and my next question makes him twitch in the palm of my hands.
"Should I make you cum?"
"Please fu-I wanna cum" he pleads.
"Then..." I make my fingers loose around him, running the tips of them over the head of his cock. "Where do you want to cum?" His body tenses at my words and I don't stop, caressing the head of his cock lightly while my other hand grips the base of his length "mhm? tell me Jinne."
He swallows hard, eyes needy and desperate "Fuck don't do this to me."
Aroused by his response I lean closer until my lips are almost touching the tip of his cock. I blow lightly watching him twitch and he hisses, the pained expression on his face telling me everything I need to know.
"Don't tease" he breathes, sounding like he might lose it any second.
"Hmm" I pull away, staring up at him, and coyly batting my lashes "then answer me."
"I-hah" he lets out a shaky breath " I want to cum in your—shit you know what I want Angel don't make me say it."
Oh. I bring my hand to my mouth, holding in a giggle. Is it bad that I like seeing him like this?
"You're enjoying this aren't you?" He ask, eyes dark.
Smiling, I nod, dropping my hand from my mouth and leaning closer once more, I part my lips, taking the head of his cock into my mouth.
Hyunjin lets out a long moan, shutting his eyes as he grips onto the edge of the couch. And I suck gently, rubbing my wet lips over the head of his cock and using the tip of my tongue to swirl around it at the same time. Before taking more of his hard length deeper into mouth, until his tip is pressed against the back of my throat. I gag around him, hearing him groan in pleasure.
"Fuck that's good just like that."
Hollowing my cheeks more, I curl my fingers around the base of his length as I try to take him into my throat. I move my head up and down slowly, working the rest of his shaft in my hand that my mouth can't take as I deep throat him.
"Felix" he moans, reaching out one hand and grabbing a fistful of my hair "Lix" he breathes heavily "you're perfect-so pretty-oh fuck" he moans loud his grip on my hair tightening.
I hum around him, meeting his eyes which are now open and staring down at me. I pull my mouth off his dick, still stroking him slowly my voice a rasp I ask "Do you like it am I doing good Jinnie?"
"So good Angel" he moans deeply, his chest rising and falling as his body writhes with pleasure "I love it-I love you."
A hot shiver runs up my spine at his words. "Hmm you love me?" I tease, leaning forward and sensually licking the precum from his tip before closing my lips around the head of his cock. I begin bobbing my head slowly taking him deep into my mouth and throat. With my hands working faster around the rest of his length.
Groaning low in his throat, his grip on my hair tightens. "You know I love you" he struggles between moans as I slowly slide my mouth down his shaft, sucking until his cock reaches my throat. "Fuck I can't take it—you're driving me crazy" he groans as he pushes my head down, forcing me to take more of his cock into my throat.
I gag, eyes watering as I begin to move my head up and down faster. "That's it Angel you can take more" Hyunjin forces my head down more, tightly gripping onto my hair, causing me to choke around his length. And I'm slightly lightheaded now the feeling of his cock moving in and out of my throat turning me on even more.
"Haa I'm sorry Angel—is it too much?" he breathes hard, his hold on my hair loosening.
"Hnm no" I moan, pulling away and staring into his eyes "be rough with me Hyunjin."
Without even speaking he stands up, one hand quickly gathering a fistful of hair at the back of my head. And I whine—choking as he roughly thrusts himself into my mouth.
"You're such a fucking slut sometimes you know that?...you really do know just how to get me worked up" Hyunjin grunts loudly as he thrusts himself harshly down my throat. The head of his cock repeatedly hitting against the back of my throat, making me gag as I choke around him. My hands move holding onto his thighs for support as I try to control my gag reflexes and breathe at the same time. He's too big for me to take all at once—but I love it. The feeling of being used like this. Of having him control how I suck his dick and how deep I take it.
"Mmn you were made for this" he throws his head back, shutting his eyes close as his hands on the back of my head pulls me in and out, matching his every deep thrust. And all I can do is take it hoping he'll fuck my just as hard after.
Feeling my eyes roll to the back of my head in pleasure I choke no longer feeling like I can breathe. And he pounds harder, moving his hips faster as he pumps his thick length down my throat. And even if I know it's not possible I open my mouth wider as I try to swallow every inch of his shaft.
"You like this don't you?" Hyunjin asks, staring down at me with a dark look in his eyes. "Being used like the dirty little slut you are" he continues and I nod, feeling tears run down my face. He smirks gripping onto my hair tighter, ramming into my throat roughly as he picks up his pace. His breathing ragged and heavy as he relentlessly fucks in and out of my mouth.
And the way he's fucking my mouth—the way he's staring into my eyes makes me want to be on my knees for him all night. But at this point, I'm struggling—struggling to keep up, struggling to even breathe.
"Now let's see how good you can swallow" Hyunjin tells me his movements becoming erratic as he thrusts at a slower pace. I moan around him, sucking the best I can. Until he's cumming deep in my throat, still tightly gripping my hair.
And I'm so hot by the time he's done I don't even realize when I'm taking off my knitted sweater and dropping it to the floor.