"Baby—" No. No Elijah, I can't do this. "Look at me, darling," Feeling him lift my chin, the only thing I could see was blur as I look at him. He wipes my tears but more comes through, "I got you, Scarlett. I got you, okay?"
"She's g-gone, Elijah. She's gone." It hurt like a stab in my heart saying that myself. I drop myself to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and let my tears take over that echo in this cold, dead room. I feel Elijah sit beside me and he wraps his arm around my body, holding me close to his chest.
"Let it out, okay? It's better if you do it now than later." His soft whispers are head amongst my cries, I hold onto his shirt, feeling my tears make it wet in seconds.
"Why did she have to go now? Why n-now?" I was broken, shattered, almost as if I was buried six feet under. Bereavement and grief were like a sudden hit in my stomach, my tears come out hot and endless, drenching Elijah's shirt.
"Your mother wouldn't want you to cry like this, Scarlett," He grabs my chin ever so gently, my teary eyes could barely even shape his face but the moment he presses his hand on my cheek, I felt a peace in my body, "Tell me, darling, she wouldn't want you to cry, right?"
I shake my head hesitantly, but he was right, my mum wouldn't like me crying like this, especially when she told me not to before she took her last breath. Sucking in my breath, I squeeze my eyes shut to stop my tears, "It's all my fault, Elijah. I let that nurse in, I didn't even check for id or anything."
"It's not your fault. It will never be your fault."
"No, you don't understand, Elijah. Everything that my mother went through, it's all because of m-me." It really was. The day my mother had to go to the hospital was the day I blamed myself for it all. I couldn't do anything to save her and now when I was going to, she slipped out of my hands.
"What do you mean, Scarlett? Nothing that happened was your fault." He whispers, swiping his thumb across my trembling lips. I had to tell him now—it was right, at least in this moment, to tell him what really happened with my mother.
"I was a young girl, Elijah. I was a child and I let my mother go through shit, but I was old enough to still save her from him. A monster," My voice almost quietens, shaking as I start to speak the truth, "He wasn't my father once in my entire life and neverwill be." I continue speaking, feeling Elijah taking my fidgeting hands in an instant.
"I always thought that my parents had the best marriage. A love marriage, as they say but it never was in my eyes. It never was in my mother's eyes," Everything about them was a false hope, a false dream because what my father did was the cruellest thing, I've seen my whole life."
"What did he do?"
"Abused her in the worst way possible," It hurt uttering that out, like every bone in me crushed into pieces, rattling my heart like it's about to explode if I utter out another word, "and he made me watched every single movement."
Devastation and heartache—I never felt so shattered like I am now. Talking about my dead mother was just as breaking as if she was alive. I held onto Elijah's hand so tight, hoping that this wasn't the end of all. It wasn't right?
"I had to watch my so-called father beat up my mother till she was knocked out, I had to watch her cook hours on end until he was satisfied with his food, I had to watch my mother stay awake till four am just so he could return home drunk. I watched my mother get pushed down the stairs which ended up her admitted to the hospital."
"She didn't deserve that, and it wasn't your fault." He says, pressing a kiss on my knuckles and starts to make circles on my hand.
"I could have done everything to stop that man. Anything. She went through all the trauma which is why she was admitted to the hospital for a long time." Sucking my breath, a part of me was slowly believing what Elijah was saying—that it wasn't my fault.
"Did he ever try to do anything to you?" I was waiting for him to ask me that but the way he asked was as if he was scared to find out. Yes, he did. He made me feel like I was living in hell.
"He tried to a few times—" Squeezing my eyes shut, a sudden flashback of getting slapped across the face makes my body shudder, "I've been hurt, slapped, forced to watch what he did to my mother." Whatever my mother felt, I had felt, what she went through, I went through the exact same.
"Fuck." His voice was filled with anger, mad that he did all those things to me and my mother and despite him just finding out, it's like he wanted to kill for me.
"I'm okay, Elijah. I'm...okay," I wasn't sure how I was though. It's like no emotion seeps through me yet I feel something in my chest. "My mother wasn't okay though, she went through hell, and I couldn't do much."
"Where is he now?" He asks, worried as if he was going to come back into my life. He won't. He can't because I have no idea where he is.
"He had an affair and from what I know, he left with her, but I have no idea where he's gone." After he found out my mother was put into hospital because of him, he ran off with all her money with his affair and after that they were nowhere to be seen.
But I'm glad I didn't have to see him again. I wouldn't have been able to look him in the eye after everything he put us through. He was a living hell in my life, in my mother's life and I pray that he lives hell himself today. I hope he dies the way my mother died.
"Do you think you'd ever confront him?"
"No. Not after what he d-did. I've spent my life running away from him, I took my mother wherever I went just so we were safe and that is why we ended up in New York. I don't want anything to do with him, I don't want to even look for him."
"You're safe, you know that right?" He whispers, pushing strands of my hair out of my face. Giving him a faint smile, I slightly nod before wrapping my arms around his chest again.
"Elijah?"
"Yes, darling."
"What about that nurse? Do you think the police have found her?" I ask him, letting my head replay the event of her coming in, checking my mother, leaving as if she just accomplished something great.
"They will find her, they better do because it's all Stanley's game," I hear Elijah suck in his breath, it was so obvious that he wanted to be out there looking for the nurse himself but being stuff behind bars only made it difficult. "But I want you to go home, darling, freshen up and take a moment to yourself."
"No, n-no, Elijah. I need to work on your case. We don't have long left." I think a part of me was putting the death of my mother away like it never happened but knowing that if I did do that, it will come running after me.
"Scarlett." He raises his brows, pressing his lips together as he sighs. The slight nod was a disagreement to what I was saying but I couldn't just stop, especially not now.
"Don't stop me, Elijah. I can't stop right now, I must work on this until your trial day," This was the only way I could win for him and even if I have to push everything inside me and work, I will. My mother would have told me to do the same and some part of me is doing it for her, "My mother would have wanted me to do this too."
"Darling, I'm afraid you'll overwork yourself," His eyes gloss over with some sort of sympathy but it wasn't one where I should be offended by. "Promise me, you'll rest for a little bit." He says more in a warning tone, I shake my head to agree with him because it was the least, I could do.
"I promise, baby," Lie. It was a lie. I know for a fact that I wasn't going to rest. In the heat of the moment, I pull him into a hug, one that was tight and one that I didn't want to let go off. His arms around me were like a drug and I never knew how deprived I was of being wrapped around his warmth, "I love you forever, Elijah. I don't know what would happen if you weren't here."
"I love you in ways you can't even imagine," My lips hold together as he speaks, cupping both my cheeks with his warm hands, "You know, it wasn't your eyes that made me fall in love you, or your beauty, or your body. It was your heart. A heart that I knew that strung so many problems together only to make it stronger. That's what I love about you, and I know for a fact that if I wasn't here, you would be just fine."
"Elijah—"
"But being together only makes us stronger than if we were separate." Letting out a sigh, I hum in agreement, letting our lips collide with one another, so seamless that it felt like nothing could pull us apart in this moment.
And right now, I'd do anything to make this moment last forever.
----
Coming back home was dreadful. Coming back to not see my mother here was death. I felt like I was trapped in a grave that I couldn't see further. But I had to—I had to for Elijah and Dalia. The house felt desolated, meaningless to come back to, to a person that I know isn't here anymore.
Sitting on the top of the stairs, my body couldn't bring itself up to relax or to freshen up, everything felt strained.
"M-Mommy?" Flicking my eyes to the right, I see Dalia placing herself right beside me. A small smile forms on my face as I see her, taking her petite hand into mine.
"Yes, sweetheart?" Looking at her, I couldn't help but falter my smile and let the tears well once again in my eyes.
"I luv you, mommy." A tear rolls down my cheek, she knew how I was feeling that it reminded me how I used to tell my mother I love her at random times of the day. Wiping the tear with the back of my hand, I let out a small laugh.
"I love you more, baby," Kissing her knuckles, it was hard to not cry, hard to put a smile on my face but if Dalia sees me like this it will only make things worse, "Dada said to tell his princess that he misses her so so much."
"Mommy, mommy, did you twll dada I mis him too?" Hearing his name makes her happy, it makes her at peace knowing that her father asks her about her. I'm at peace when she's excited about Elijah—I wish I had that with my mother.
"I did, sweetheart and he said that he's very excited to see you, soon." I see the growing smile on Dalia's face, she wiggles her legs and I wrap my arms around her, almost feeling the warmth of Elijah in her as I hold her.
"Mommy?" Dalia seemed to move the conversation quickly, I could tell by her tone in voice.
"Tell me, baby." Smiling down at her, she was nervous to say whatever was on her mind but giving a light squeeze on her hand, she was ready to tell me.
"M-Mommy, you awe not alwn. Me and dada wit you." Fuck. It took all of me in this moment to not break down but all these emotions that were building up in me breaks down into a state of misery that I forget that I was crying in front of a little girl.
"Oh sweetheart, come here—" Bringing her to my lap, I hold her close to my chest as she hugs me tight and honestly, I was surprised that a little girl like her was so understanding. We stay in each other's brace for a moment, every hold, every hug felt like it was me and my mother hugging each other.
Soon right after, my phone starts ringing and we immediately part so I could check who it was. The police. They must have found the nurse. Answering the phone, an unsettling feeling occurs in my chest, hoping that the police bring good news to me.
"Hello Miss Ester. I'm calling to inform you that we've been able to trace the nurse that murdered your mother, and my team are on their way to arresting her."
Thank God. I felt a huge relief being lifted of my chest knowing that she was caught but it wasn't enough to get my mother back. She's never coming back. Letting the officer know that I'll meet him at the station, my heart was racing from this sudden information.
"Sweetheart, I have to go somewhere again but I promise you I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Whre, you go mommy?" I could tell she was upset that I had to leave, and I would take her with me, but the station is an unfriendly environment, especially because I'm not going to see Elijah. Kissing her forehead, I pull her into a hug one more time and I felt the yearn from her just so I don't go.
"Mommy has to go the police station. But I'll be back before you know it," Smiling at her, she pouts her lips, "I'll be here for bedtime, promise. Then I'll read your favourite story, okay?" Hoping she agree, and she did, I had to keep my promise now.
"Okay mommy. I wait for you." I shake my head, pushing her hair back and at the same time Colleen comes by the stairs. She takes Dalia by my signal, "I luv you, mommy." She yawns right after, looking like she was about to fall right now.
"I love you more, my princess."
That nurse will get what she deserves, and I know who exactly was behind all this.
a/n:
My poor girl, she doesn't deserve what she's going through :(