It was a rainy evening and Harry absolutely hates it.
Not because he normally hates rain but because he's coming back from work now and he didn't bring his umbrella or raincoat because according to the weather report, it should've been a sunny evening!
But apparently, God has decided to pull a uno reverse card with this damp evening. He takes the tube to go to work and back from work and from the station he has to walk back to his apartment. And mind you that's a twenty-minute walk so yeah, he was completely drenched when he got back.
"Happy Birthday Harry!!!!" a collection of voices echoed as soon as he stepped into his apartment. He hasn't even got time to switch on the lights before the group of voices decided to pop the party popper at him. That's just fantastic now, isn't it?
"Uh-oh", Niall mumbled when he stood there in the doorway like baby Tarzan with head hanging low, completely drenched, and all the star and heart-shaped glitter papers sticking onto him awkwardly.
"Thank you so much, guys", he spoke through gritted teeth, still looking down at himself. He's so fucking mad at everything that even his hands started to shake.
He heard a snicker at the end of the hallway before it turned into a burst of full-blown laughter. And Harry knows that one, he knows that laugh. The one he's dying to hear every day in his life since he got to know him. How can he not? He's in love with that laugh. He's in love with the owner of that laugh.
"Sorry babe", Zayn laughed even more when Harry looked up and he can't help the smile that took over his grumpy kitten face.
"Sorry Harry", Louis genuinely looked apologetic before grinning and walking over to engulf him in one of his hugs reserved for his best friends.
"Louis! I'm gross!" he laughed as he tried to push him away but settled back to hugging him anyway. Niall joined their hug while his other friends Janet, Chris, Naira, Matt, Dan, and Tom just stood there grinning.
While the others just shook his hands to wish him, Zayn leapt forward and swept him off his feet in a bridal hold.
"ZAYN!"
"Happy Birthday Babe!", Zayn grinned as he carried him to his bedroom. The others just laughed at it and went back to whatever they were busy working on.
"Put me down, you moron!"
"I will", Zayn laughed and put him down when they reached his attached bathroom. "Now go, clean up yourself and wear the dress I've specifically picked up for you which is on your bed. Bye!" he clicked the door shut and Harry sighed as he focused on the retreating footsteps.
His best friend is one big idiot!
Harry, Zayn, Niall, and Louis met during their university days in States. It was nice knowing that even when being away from home and some people can still make you feel at home. These three were those people to Harry. Mainly Zayn.
Zayn was Harry's roommate for all four years he was there at NYU. Harry had a crush on this incredible boy who brings him coffee every morning and sings him lullabies when he looks afar and misses home. Zayn always had his ways to calm Harry down when he was too frantic or getting Harry to live life when he was too much of a sloth to move. And people who know Harry know that fact, that Zayn is Harry's rock.
When Harry figured out that yeah maybe he likes boys too and he very much likes Zayn and not just as a friend, it was too late. Too late because Zayn started dating Emma, Harry's classmate whom Harry introduced to Zayn. Harry regretted introducing her to him every night, but he couldn't be jealous now, could he? He should be happy that Zayn is happy. But he can't.
Harry started to go out to gay bars and started getting to know himself. Of what he likes and how he likes it. He was filthy when it comes down to sex and he liked it. He tried it with random strangers but that was it. Strictly no relationships because well fuck he's completely in love with Zayn Malik, his best friend.
Zayn's relationship with Emma ended after eight months and Zayn looked devastated so Harry can't bring himself to be happy about it. But months later that's how Harry and Zayn spent their weekends, each one getting a person, a boy for Harry and a girl for Zayn, and then going to their respective partner's place or even fucking in the dirty bathroom stalls but never bringing them to their dorm.
That's how a final couple of years in college went, reckless and carefree. At twenty-two Zayn, Niall and Louis flew back to the UK but Harry stayed back because he had an internship with a very privileged company. At twenty-three Harry came back too, with a job offer from the same company in their London branch. His friends were the happiest to have him back with them.
Zayn never dated anyone again, he also stopped sleeping around. It kind of made Harry think, why? Zayn said that's because he's going to wait for the one and he's tired of wandering around and he's ready to settle down. Harry was kind of thrown off by that declaration. Why can't he see? Harry's right there for fucks sake.
"Harry!" Zayn yelled from another side of the hallway, obviously in the living room.
"Coming!" he yelled back as he tucked in the cream-coloured silk shirt in his tight black jeans. The way Zayn's always sure about Harry's dress sizes will always fascinate him. He opened the first three buttons and flexed his pecs before wearing the two cross chains he owned.
"Sorry I'm late", he grinned as he walked into his living room which was completely covered with white, golden and lavender coloured balloons. A golden-coloured balloon numbers saying he's painfully 24 from today and a chocolate ice cream cake in the middle.
"Finally," Louis sighed and that's when Harry noticed Zayn. Of how he's raking his gaze through Harry's body, from the bottom to the top. Sometimes Zayn gets like that like he can't believe what he's seeing. Harry can't really decipher the meaning behind that look.
"We thought you died in there", Naira, his colleague rolled her eyes. How did she get off from work before Harry is beyond him?
"All alive", he mumbled walking around the small table. "I feel like a five-year-old."
"You are our five-year-old Haz", Tom, his neighbour, laughed.
"I'm not", he pouted, eyeing the stacks of wine bottles in the corner of the room.
"All Italian", Louis stated as he lit up the little candles.
"Zayn's choice", Niall smirked.
"Yeah, I know", he mumbled, now smirking at Zayn who looks like a little strawberry in the corner of the room. "Why are you standing there? Come here."
"I will", Zayn smiled but made no move. "Okay fine", he sighed walking to Harry after he glared at him for a good twenty seconds.
"C'mere", Harry pulled him next to him before taking the wooden knife from Louis.
"Make a wish, make a wish", Janet, his yoga class partner who can never be calm for the life of her, whispered as though it's a secret.
All these years his wishes varied from 'Please I want a remote-control car God' to 'Please next year I've to make it to NYU somehow'. After knowing Zayn though his wishes have remained the same for the past six years, 'keep Zayn happy, always'. It's just a selfish thought, really. If he wants to be happy, then Zayn has to be happy. Because his happiness lies within Zayn.
This year though, he thought of changing his wish a little bit as he looked into those honeycomb-like pools that make Harry want more, it always makes Harry come back for more.
"Go on", Zayn whispered as his eyes gleamed at him, all shining and shimmering.
Harry closed his, 'Keep Zayn happy with me, always'. And then he blew out the candles as his friends started singing the infamous Happy Birthday song.
It was quite classic like that, after that, he fed a little piece of cake to Zayn first and then he fed him back and then the same goes for Niall and Louis and all others.
"It's time for games!", Louis yelled as he clinked a silver spoon against the champagne flute.
"I seriously feel like I'm in some toddler's birthday", Harry mumbled as he took his place near Zayn, as always, at the round table.
"You're my baby Hazza", Zayn yelled, catching Harry by surprise when he threw his hands around him to pull him closer.
"I am", he whispered. "Yours", a little quieter this time.
Harry is not exactly sure how he ended up playing 20 Questions of 'Never have I ever'. The last time he ever played that is when they were nineteen and he loathed agreeing to ever play that. It was an embarrassing situation, that too with Zayn around but hey, in his defence he was drunk off his mind. But what could he possibly say now? He's completely, painfully sober that he's even aware of Zayn's thigh on his own.
"This is not only about dirty questions, right?" Zayn asks. "I'm too old for that."
"No one is too old for that Malik", Louis said with a dirty grin which Harry absolutely hates.
"Hey", Naira interrupted. "Why don't we play truth or dare?"
"That's even more childish", Zayn said in a voice that Harry can't really decipher. It's a mixture of anger, fear, and a lot more pleading.
"Oh, please Malik", Naira scoffed. "Sometimes adults learn the best from children", Naira smirked when Zayn looked at her with an unreadable expression.
Sometimes Harry does wonder if Zayn likes Naira more than just a friend, but every time Harry starts something about that, Zayn just dismisses it saying he is being absolutely ridiculous, and that Naira is like a sister to him. But Harry can't believe him completely though, maybe because these two have these stupidly cute interactions which make Zayn go completely red while Naira looks at Harry with a smirk. As if saying, see? I won.
It was quite funny after that, from Louis twerking only in his underwear to Niall gagging while trying to deepthroat a banana that Harry specifically picked. Neither Harry nor Zayn has been harmed in this stupid game anyways, so Harry is quite relieved by that. It was not until Naira challenged Zayn.
"Truth or Truth?"
Zayn groaned. "Truth."
"Trapped", she smirked. "Have you ever been in love?"
"Since when are we back to these high school questions?" Harry asked as he took a swig of his drink.
"Answer me Malik", she said with an unreadable voice that made Harry frown. He looked at Zayn who glared at her as if he was trying to burn her with his eyes.
"Once", he said through gritted teeth.
"Who is it?" Louis smirked, copying Naira's expression.
"One question at a time", Zayn mumbled as he downed the whole bottle of whiskey. Harry gulped, never having seen Zayn this down. So, he must really love that girl huh?
"Fine", they gave up. But Harry can't. Is this about Emma? The thoughts are running wild in his head. If so, then why didn't tell me? I'm his best friend, right?
When it was Niall challenging Harry, things took the worst turn.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth", Harry wasn't really thinking when he said that.
"Have you ever been in love?" Niall smiled but Harry knows the real meaning behind that smile. That absolute twat!
"Once", Harry parroted. He might as well have had a heart attack when Zayn snapped his neck to look at him as if he betrayed him. Harry rose a brow when he noticed the slight glare in his stare.
That's when Harry noticed his friends' expressions. It is as if they are cornering him and Zayn into something. But what the fuck is that?
"Truth or Dare?" Louis asked the next time the mouth of the bottle landed on Zayn.
"Dare", he sighed. He can't really choose the truth now, does he?
"Kiss your crush", Louis smirked but Zayn glared. He's been doing that too much today.
"I won't", Zayn said, exasperated. "I'm not going to kiss someone without their consent Lou."
All this and Harry is still comprehending what the fuck this means. So, Zayn apparently has a crush on someone who he's obviously in love with. Is that still considered a crush if he's in love with them? And that crush is in their shared friends' group. How did he not see that all these days? And how do all his friends know about that but not him?
He looked up to look at Naira who was looking at Zayn with a sympathetic smile. When her gaze turned to Harry though, her smile dropped. Maybe because Harry's frowning or because he's glaring at her. He doesn't know. God! It's not easy being the jealous type.
"Okay fine", Louis sighed. "Tell the person why you love them this much."
"What?" Zayn frowned.
"C'mon", Louis whined. "You don't have to tell it to their face. Just look at this fucking bottle and say why you love this person."
"Why are you doing this Louis", Zayn sighed as if he accepted his fate as if he was defeated.
"It's now or never Zayn", Naira encouraged making Harry frown. "C'mon."
"What are you guys talking about?" Harry asked with a raspy voice. Maybe because he wasn't talking for so much time now, or maybe because of the alcohol he dumped, or maybe both.
"They are the kindest person I've ever known; you know?" Zayn started with a small smile. "They are always there to help anyone in need. Let it be me when I needed help with my assignments—"
And Harry's taken back to those moments when they lay on Zayn's bottom bunk of the cot to do his assignments until four in the morning.
"Or let it be when a stranger asked for food at the bus stop—"
Back in NYC when Zayn and Harry were waiting for their bus to their university and a stranger asked them to help him with food and Harry bought him some pasta from a fancy restaurant.
"They are the kindest. Ever. They are the most talented too", he chuckled. "Even though they don't have much trust in themselves. They always think so low of themselves and I've to remind them how fucking amazing they are almost every day. I'm never tired of it though. I'm just genuinely happy that they believe my words about them. It just shows their trust in me."
Harry is taken back to his college days when he struggled with insecurities so much that it gives him panic attacks at times. Zayn was always there. He was always there to hold him through that and wash him after that and tell him how talented he is and how many fucking heights he's going to achieve with all these talents pouring out of him. And Harry believed him. He believed Zayn's belief in him more than he ever believed in himself.
"They are also my support system. My anchor who holds me through all the rough waves."
'You're my rock Harreh', Zayn's voice echoed in Harry's ears.
"The one person who is always there to welcome me with open arms—"
'I'll always be there for you Zayn.'
"The one who stands with me through all my rights and wrongs."
'It's alright Zayn', Harry heard his own voice. 'We'll get through this. We'll do it right next time.'
"The one who brings me down when I float too far."
'Calm down Malik. Calm down!' Harry's laugh is now just a blurred memory in his head.
"And the one who always brings me to the surface when I feel like drowning—"
'Come on Zayn, cheer up. Put your clothes on. We are going out, drinking your favourite coffee, having your favourite pastries and then we'll go on a walk along the lakeside and then we can come back and then we'll study these fucking research papers. Is there anything we both can't do together?'
"Is there anything we can't do together? They would ask", he chuckled. "And I'll be like, yeah fuck it, we can rule the fucking world together if we want."
'Yeah, Haz. We can rule the world together if we want.'
"They are the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on", his words slipping to a dreamy tone. "Like the most gorgeous you know?"
'You're gorgeous, you know that right Harry?'
"Those chocolate brown curls—"
'No, take that bandana. Leave it loose. Your curls are amazing.'
"The pale skin—"
'Your skin is like pure milk. It's soft and silky. I love it.'
"Those pink lips that I would die for—"
'How is there no difference between these strawberries and your lips? You know, all pink and plump'
"And those gorgeous, gorgeous green eyes—"
'Your gorgeous, gorgeous green eyes. You know Harry there is no poetry in the world that's as gorgeous as your eyes'
"There are no lines in any literature that is ever written to define his beauty."
'There are no words that can ever describe your beauty, Harry'
"Nobody compares to him."
'Nobody compares to you, Harry'
"He is my love. He's my everything."
The strangled sob that leaves Harry's lips is what brings everyone's attention to him. He can't help it really. Not when the one person who he's been in love with for six years now is giving him everything he wanted. He clasped his hands over his mouth when he heard his sobs getting louder. He can feel his shoulder shaking but he's not sure if that's because he's crying or because of how Zayn's shaking him to get his attention.
"Harry, you alright?" Zayn's voice is laced with concern, but he can't bring himself to concentrate on it now.
"Harry, don't worry", Louis's voice sounded too far for him. "Zayn was talking about you. No one else."
"Loueh", Zayn hissed.
"Shut up Zayn", Louis's voice sounded suddenly angry. "That is what he needs to hear now. The truth."
Harry got up from the crowd and walked to his couch nearby the balcony door to calm himself down. Even though that seems like an impossible task but he has to. Because if he wants to return Zayn's love for him then he has to calm down so he can pour it all out. But it's hard, it's hard to stop crying when he feels this overflowing happiness inside him. The heart beneath his ribcage never sounded this loud before this moment, the moment he knows that Zayn is finally his, maybe because that's how it shows its happiness.
"Okay Malik", Naira sighed. "You take care of him. We'll leave."
"What—"
"Zayn", Louis called in a stern voice. "He needs you. Don't worry, your Haz is still your Haz. Alright?"
"Alright", Zayn sighed. "Take care all."
After the fuss of everyone leaving Zayn came back to the couch where Harry is sitting and staring at the wall nearby the television.
"Harreh", Zayn whispered as he took the farthest seat from Harry on the same couch.
"Truth or dare?" Harry asked, still looking at the wall or maybe the photo frame in which the memory of Zayn holding Harry close by his chest and pressing a kiss to his curls is frozen forever.
"What?" The hurt in Zayn's voice is what pulled him back to reality. He looked back at Zayn whose eyes looked more hurt than his voice.
"Truth or Dare Zayn", Harry somehow managed to keep his voice neutral.
"Dare", Zayn's husky voice is filled with hurt and pain.
Harry scoffed mentally. What did he think? That I'm gonna kick him out of my life? Or did he think I'm making fun of his emotions?
"Kiss me", Harry whispered watching Zayn's eyes go wide.
"What?" he whispered back.
"Kiss me", Harry moved closer to Zayn. "You wanted my consent, right? You have it."
Zayn stared at him for a beat too long before shaking his head with a chuckle. "C'mere", he pulled Harry onto his lap, straddling him.
Harry blushed because yeah, they're close friends and all but they've never been this close.
"You gave me a right fright there my love", Zayn said, keeping his voice in a husky tone while his hand settled on Harry's hips.
Harry settled his hands on Zayn's shoulders and pulled him closer to run the tip of his nose on Zayn's cheekbones. "Serves you right for making me wait all these years."
Zayn chuckled. "You could've told me too, you know?"
"You moron", Harry pulled back with a slap on his chest. "You are supposed to be straight. Or that's what I thought you are. That's how you projected yourself."
"I never meant to project myself like that", Zayn mumbled as he pulled him back into their embrace. "I just wanted to get you out of my mind when I slept with all those people in those years."
"Emma?"
"I liked her. Just not the way I loved you. So, I thought it'd be better if I end it, you know?"
"You loved me even before you met Emma?" Harry raised a brow with a satisfied smile when Zayn pressed little kisses from the back of his ear to his shoulder.
"I loved you from the first morning when you slapped me awake for our first day at college Styles", Zayn said as his voice sounded muffled from where he was sucking Harry's skin on his collarbone.
Harry laughed brightly which soon turned into a surprised yelp when Zayn pulled him back to kiss him. Both of them just sat there frozen in their spots as their lips pressed against each other. Harry was the first one to move and Zayn followed with a long sigh of relief. It was nothing like neither of them imagined. The heat on their lips moved to their heart through their veins. It was as if finally, all the questions in their lives got answers. The moment felt perfect, all those pining and yearnings for just a touch, just a glance felt satisfied. If this is how they're gonna spend the rest of their lives, then they are okay with it.
~END~