∞ 𝐑𝐔𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄∞
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"I knew something was up." They sat at the table, eating their dinner several hours after finding out about the operation, but no one had an appetite.
"I asked the other kids and they said we're going first because we're the largest group."
"This is so annoying. Who made a fuss about being discharged?"
"I really can't believe it, man. I really thought the Lieutenant cared about us, after all that we've been through together. Turns out he's really an ass." Chae-Yeong slammed her chopsticks on the table. Everyone looked at her, startled.
"Do you really think this was his doing? He went back there to save the rest of you, he stole a goddamn car and risked being executed for you. And that's how you pay him back? Really? Talking behind his back will do no good, if you want to say something about him, say it in his face. You're pathetic." She looked at them with disgust, shame showing on their faces. She got up from the table and walked away without finishing her meal.
She let out a huff as she resisted the urge to scream and break something. She knew it was hard for the kids, even harder than it was for her, but she couldn't listen to their nonsense without saying anything. Chun-Ho did nothing wrong, she knew the order came from his superiors. She saw it on his face as he was sharing the news with the kids, the anger and the fear and the shame all mixed. Even if he did expect it, there was nothing that could prepare you for such news. Nothing to prepare you for sending some kids to face death again after just a few days they escaped from it. Watching the war as it destroyed everything that you love was tough, but fighting in it, being there to experience it all, to suffer it all, to feel every emotion all at once and not be able to show them, it was even tougher. It was squeezing the life out of you, leaving you empty inside, a heart that kept on beating just to keep you from dying.
Chae-Yeong headed to the quietest place in the whole camp. She didn't know why she found comfort in watching the corpses laid on the ground. Maybe it reminded her that she is still alive, it reminded her that her heart was still beating and she was still breathing.
Or maybe she was just insane. Just like everyone else in this world.
She approached the figure standing by the wall, eyes closed. He was just... existing. She called him, but he was too lost in his thoughts to hear her. She put a hand on his arm. Startled, he gripped her wrist, shoving it away. Chae-Yeong hasn't seen Chun-Ho since the meeting. He disappeared after that, avoiding her and the kids. She saw that all in his eyes, fixated on her face as he slowly loosened his grip, but not yet letting go.
"Are you ok?" she asked her.
"I will be. This whole thing is driving me crazy. I was supposed to protect them and I failed."
"You didn't fail, Chun-Ho. No one saw it coming."
"But I could've. And I didn't." He kicked a barrel as he cursed. "How the hell am I supposed to face them now? They surely hate me and I can't really blame them, they thought they were going back to their families after all this and now I just ruined their dreams."
"Chun-Ho, look at me." She put her hands on his chest, holding him into place. "You are the most caring person I have ever met. You sacrificed yourself several times for the safety of these kids, you are the reason they are still alive and not there." She pointed to the corpses. "You are the reason why I am still alive. Stop blaming yourself for these things. You are the last to be blamed in this situation. You care for these kids and it shows right this moment. There is no moment where you do not worry about them and I assure you they are grateful." He sat in silence, watching her, listening to her as she put her hands on his shoulders and hugged him. After a moment, he hugged her back, burying his face in the crook of her neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes that felt like a few hours for her before finally saying: "We'll figure it out. Together." He hesitatingly let her go and looked at her. She hadn't felt that cold and lonely for a long time.
"Thank you. I needed this."
"Do you want to go and see how the kids are doing?" He nodded as they left the corpses behind, making their way toward the kids.
They walked in silence as Won-Bin came toward them, eying Chun-Ho as he came closer. "Can we talk?" Chun-Ho only nodded as the three of them made their way to the barracks. As soon as they closed the door behind them, Won-Bin continued. "It's merciless. The kids..." He stopped as he saw the perplexed expression on Chun-Ho's face.
"Wait," he said, looking around. "Where did it go?"
"What?" Chae-Yeong asked, confused about what he was talking about.
"The wills." They even gave him wills?
"Crap, the kids," Won-Bin said before they all darted through the door.
They entered the boy's tent as the girls hid under the blankets. After hearing about the operation, the superiors decided they could have one last night's rest in the big tents. But was it worth it?
"You guys," Chun-Ho said as he looked at the wills in Yu-Jung's hands.
"I'm sorry. We couldn't sleep. We'll go back immediately." They got up and made their way toward the entrance of the tent, running away from the uncomfortable situation.
"You guys." They stopped to listen. "I heard you didn't have dinner." Silence. No one was expecting him to say that out of all things, not even Chae-Yeong. "Sergeant Kim."
"Yes, sir," Won-Bin responded.
"Bring that over now." The kids looked at him, confused, as Won-Bin left the tent. They expected him to yell at them, but he was so calm it was almost scary.
A few minutes later, they were all gathered around a table full of processed food. She looked at Chun-Ho and Won-Bin as they shook hands before pouring some kind of powder in a bowl. She held back a smile as they put on a show for the kids. Why are they so dramatic? She stood back while she watched them look through the window of a microwave, silently watching as if they never saw one in their whole lives. They took the cup out of the microwave two minutes later, flipping it on a plate.
"This is a trick that turns hardtacks into a cupcake." Won-Bin lifted the cup as a cupcake was revealed under it. "There you go!" The kids cheered and Chae-Yeong started laughing. When she managed to recompose herself, Chun-Ho turned his cap around, looking as a child. The room erupted into laughter as he prepared a bowl of ramyeon in the most dramatic way possible. Suddenly, Won-Bin pulled a scarf out of Chun-Ho's cap and it made them laugh even louder than before. When they finally started eating, her belly was hurting from laughing so much. She has never seen the kids so happy as they were that night. She looked at Chun-Ho and was surprised when he saw him smile. A big, genuine smile.
"I didn't know hardtacks were this good. I used to throw them away."
"The hardtack-sando is amazing. I'll salivate when I see hardtacks from now on like Pavlov's dog."
"You mean the dog of Flanders." Everyone looked at Tae-Man. "Patrasche?"
"You can be the dog," the boy next to him said as he took a handful of flour and throwing it in his face. They all stared for a moment before erupting into laughter. Before Chae-Yeong knew it, flour covered Won-Bin's face. They stopped laughing as they saw the angry expression on his face.
"Look," he started saying and Chun-Ho put a hand on arm, trying to calm him down. She saw the movement in slow-motion as Won-Bin threw flour in his face. She held back a laugh as he coughed, the kids looking terrified. He puffed and flour flew in the air. That's when Chae-Yeong couldn't hold back anymore. She let out a laugh as he turned to look at her. She couldn't take him seriously, not when he looked like a ghost with the flour on his face.
"I'm sorry," she said as she was still laughing. "I'm sorry, I can't help it."
"Nam Chae-Yeong," he said as a threat before she saw a handful of flower fly in her face. She froze, mouth opened as she looked at Chun-Ho, too stunned to say anything. The man had the audacity to smile while flour was still falling from her lashes.
Chae-Yeong buried her hand in the flour and threw it at him before she started running. The other kids were laughing, starting to fight as she was still running, Chun-Ho following her close behind. She yelped as he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her back, pressing her to his chest. They were both laughing as she hit him in the chest with her fists.
"Let me go!"
"After what you did there?"
"You started it, it was payback!"
"I am a Lieutenant, I can do anything that I want. And right now, I want to -" He was interrupted as a wave of flour hit them. They looked at Duk-Jung as he realized he just made a big mistake. Chun-Ho let her go before he started running after him, leaving Chae-Yeong laughing as she dusted herself. Everything was a mess, but she couldn't remember the last time she heard so many people laugh. It may be her last, but she shoved those thoughts away as she saw Chun-Ho throw a handful of flour in Won-Bin's face.
A few minutes later, they sat around the table, cleaning themselves, white dust covering everything nearby. "We're a mess."
"I'm covered in it."
"Look at you."
"You look worse."
"You're so childish, Lieutenant Lee. You look like you're having more fun than we are," Yu-Jung said and Chun-Ho smiled.
"What did you do before you came here, Lieutenant?" Ha-Na asked him.
"I was part of a combat unit."
"No, before that. Did you go to university?" Chae-Yeong saw So-Yeon get closer to him with the corner of her eye. She held in a laugh when she cleared her voice as Chun-Ho turned around to look at her.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked as Chae-Yeong bit her lip. This was going to be funny. Chun-Ho sneaked a look at her, knowing she was trying her best not to laugh.
"You little... I don't take questions unrelated to training. Do you hear me?" The girl looked genuinely upset.
"He has a girlfriend," Duk-Jung said.
"No, he doesn't," So-Yeon told him as she threw a towel in his face. "If we all go home and the war ends, what will you do? Will you go back to school?"
"I said I won't take questions unrelated to training."
"It's related. We have to know more about you for the platoon members to be more efficient." The situation started getting awkward, so she signaled the other kids to say something too.
"Tell us. Please tell us," they started chanting as they clapped their hands.
"Stop it." They did. Chun-Ho raised a spoon to his mouth, blowing on it like it was a microphone. "Listen. I'm part of the ROTC, so I joined after graduating from university. I have a year left to serve, but I haven't decided whether I'll leave or extend my term. That's it."
"Extend? Why would you do any more than this?" a girl asked him. "Isn't it tiring? Better to go out in the world."
"Being out in the world is tough to," Won-Bin said. "I'm still young and don't know much, but it's a war out there too. You could say getting into universities is a local war and being out in the world is a world war. This is the happiest you'll be." Silence seized the room.
"I have a question," Ae-Sol said. "When will this war end?" Chun-Ho didn't respond.
"Will we be able to go home?" another girl asked. "They said we can go home if we get through this operation. Can we believe that? Don't think we don't know anything because we are kids. Tell us the truth." Chun-Ho cleared his voice.
"We don't know when the war will end. But just remember this. Survive to the end. I can't end the war for you, but I will help you fight to the end without anyone getting hurt. I can promise you that." He turned around, planning on leaving before looking at So-Yeon. "Oh, and to answer your question, I don't have a girlfriend." Her whole face lit up. "But I do have my eyes on someone." Chae-Yeong's heart skipped a beat as he looked at her. Then he left without saying anything else, leaving the kids comfort each other, promising each other that they will get through tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
The day they could all die.
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