Title: Feelings
Genre: Angst, slight fluff
Warnings: mentions of anxiety, and (yes another) mental breakdown. how are you guys not bored of me yet?
Word Count: 882
Author's Note: This was an idea that came to me in the morning. Honestly, I debated whether to post it after hearing about today's tragedy. But I think we could all use something comforting in a time like this. I never got the chance to become a bigger fan of Astro, but I did enjoy their music. To all of you who are hurting right now, I hope this can make you feel a little better? Rest in peace, Moonbin 😔.
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For the past hour or so, you've been sitting at the dining table in the living room, eyes burning into your laptop. The room was mostly dark, excluding the ceiling lamp which you dimmed. You were editing an animation video for your final in a class, with the serene loneliness of the night to keep you company.
As much as you needed this time to yourself, a part of you feared it. Once the clock hit 8:30 pm, all the bothersome thoughts that sprouted from anxiety began to seep through. You haven't found a way to stop them from coming. Thus, you have left no choice but to let the voice in your head attack every part of you. Eventually, the voice would tire and rest before returning the next night.
But the frequent movement of your fingers on the mouse was disrupted by the beeping sound of a passcode being entered. Your head turned in the direction of the clicking noise of the door being successfully unlocked that followed.
You closed your laptop and got up when hearing the shuffling of shoes being removed. That was when you found Jaemin, walking out of the doorway.
Despite being visibly exhausted, his lips stretched into a smile, and he wrapped his arms around you. "Hey, Beautiful."
The previous thoughts invading your mind faded gradually, and you allowed the security of your boyfriend's warmth to consume you. Shortly after pulling away from the embrace, you brought Jaemin to plop down on the couch so he could relax.
"How was work today?" Jaemin asked, knowing you got off your shift a few hours ago.
"It was okay," you replied, forcing a smile. "You?"
Your response didn't sit right with Jaemin, and he couldn't pinpoint why. Although you've only been together for a few months, he had already picked up on some of your habits. Like when you gave vague answers to his questions, or subconsciously picked on your lip.
But he nodded, "Work was good. I memorized the rest of our choreography, and the manager bought chicken for us."
"That's nice," you murmured.
"Is everything okay though? You seem a little off."
Jaemin's question caught you off guard. You hesitated for a second, not sure if you should be truthful. Sharing your emotions with another was something you hated, especially because you didn't trust people easily. But you knew Jaemin was probably the most harmless man in the world. So you decided to take a chance.
"To be honest, I've been feeling more anxious than usual lately. And I'm barely dealing with it."
You watched the boy's brows furrow in concern. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"You're so busy preparing for your comeback. I didn't want you to worry," you mumbled, looking down at your hands.
He reached over to take your hands. His was laughably bigger than yours. Any other day, the two of you would be amused by the size difference. But Jaemin was too worried to think about that.
" I don't care if I'm busy or not. I want you to tell me when something is bothering you, Jagiya. Because..."
You felt a lump in your throat and tried to hold back tears that were already preparing for their escape. But then Jaemin looked you in the eyes with such fondness.
"I love you."
Those three words were not uncommon to hear from Jaemin. But instead of smiling shyly in response like usual, your lower lip quivered. Your emotions burst out of the bottle, and you finally break down.
Jaemin pulled you into a tight hug. Your tears soaked through his shirt, but he didn't care in the slightest. "Let it out, Jagiya," He coos. "I'm here, you're not alone."
His kindness only made you cry harder. But Jaemin continued to hold you and whisper sweet nothings until you calmed down. Once you did, Jaemin got you to open up more about the growing pile of stress in your life.
"I'm sorry," you sniffled at the end, feeling embarrassed.
"Don't be sorry," He said, handing you a tissue to blow your nose. "You don't have to apologize for your feelings. I'm just grateful you told me."
And suddenly, a sense of relief washes over you. In the past, you always cried alone because you didn't feel safe being vulnerable in front of anyone. But here Jaemin was in front of you. An incredible man who accepted you, even at your worst.
Without thinking, you leaned in and gave him a long, deep kiss. Jaemin was a little taken aback, but he quickly reciprocated. His hand reached to press gently onto the back of your head, as your lips slowly moved in sync. Jaemin's touch was so pure and he poured in as much comfort as he could.
When you pulled away, Jaemin had the biggest grin on his face.
"You know, I think that's the first time you've kissed me first."
You felt your cheeks turn red, and you softly hit him on the shoulder. Jaemin laughed and stopped you from scolding him with another kiss.
In the end, you felt grateful for Jaemin's love and understanding. From this moment, you knew that you could always count on him to support you when you needed it the most.
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