Chapter Forty
Luca gave me a small sad smile which I didn't return. Why was he here?
I began wiping my wet and snotty face with my hands and was stopped when Luca clasped both my wrists with one hand and used the other to wipe my face with a tissue.
My eyes immediately darted over to Vladamir who was watching with no expression on his face however his jaws were clenched and so were his hands. When he noticed my gaze on his hands, he unclenched them but his jaws was still tight.
"Thanks." I croaked out, moving away from Luca's touch. It was an innocent touch but it felt wrong and I didn't want him touching me.
I wanted Vladamir's touch.
Shaking that alarming and disturbing thought away from my head, I sat up and looked at both the Lycans. "Why are you here?" I probably sounded very rude but Luca didn't seem to mind.
"Vladamir called me." Luca answered, his face holding a pitying look.
He did? My eyes flickered back to Vladamir who was watching our interaction carefully. Why did he do that?
"He told me what happened." Luca continued causing me to snap my eyes back to his.
"I don't want to talk about it!"
Luca nodded. "I understand, you do not have to talk about it."
After a couple of seconds of silence Luca spoke again. "I do however want to talk."
I really don't care what you want to do!
"You do not have to say anything, I only want you to listen. Can you do that?"
Not really. "Okay."
Luca turned around to face Vladamir and nodded. With one lingering glance at me Vladamir turned around and began exiting the room only to suddenly stop.
"Do not touch her."
Luca looked at him as if he was crazy before nodding. Vladamir seemed satisfied with the result and left the room leaving me alone with Luca.
"Can I sit down?" Luca asked pointing to the edge of the bed.
"Sure."
Our interaction was different from the other times, usually it was more light-hearted and a lot of flirting from my end. Nothing heavy, just some fun. Now heavy filled the air between us.
"Did I mention that I had a mate?" Luca softly asked.
His question had me stumped slightly as it was something I hadn't expected him to talk about, especially to me. "Er, Nina mentioned it once."
"Did Nina tell you what happened?"
I paused for a few seconds before answering. "I know she died and that she was pregnant at the time."
Luca nodded and though his face didn't give away his pain, his eyes did. I could see the raw pain in his eyes. "I met her when I was a child, I must have been around ten years old and she was seven. She was beautiful, no other words to describe her other than beautiful."
"I believe I fell in love with her the moment I met her." Luca let out a sad chuckle. "Life was...different during those times and I knew I could not mate her."
"Why?" I questioned, I wasn't talking to be polite anymore I was genuinely interested in his story.
"Hierarchy. It exists even to this day in packs and even so in humans. Her family had a low status and rank and I was part of the Alpha family. So we became friends, completely platonic and not what 'friends' mean now. Arrange matings was the norm however that did not mean all matings were arranged and I wanted to love my partner before I mated with them not after."
"I remember that fateful night." The sadness and pain in his eyes were gone and instead there was anger. "A male twice her age violated her, she was a child and no one especially a child should endure such a vile act."
"Oh my god." I whispered, clasping my hand over my mouth. His mate was raped?
"It was my fault." Luca stared off into the distance as if he was revisiting a memory.
"Luca! How could that be your fault? The only person to blame is that disgusting, evil paedophile!"
Luca shook his head. "It was my fault and you are right he was to blame but he was not blamed. She was." Luca clenched his hands into a fist and it was the first time I had ever seen him like this. "They blame the female, even now centuries later blame and shame is put on them."
He was right victims of rape and sexual abuse are often blamed and shamed for what happened to them. What does it matter what they wore or what how much they drank? How does that make it okay for someone to violate them? Does showing skin mean you're asking for it and that it's okay for someone to touch you without your permission?
"I'm sorry Luca." I reached over to him and hesitated. I wanted to comfort him but I also didn't want to touch him especially now with the topic we were discussing.
"I hunted him down and I found him within a couple of days. I come from an Alpha bloodline, I am stronger than most Lycans and I was stronger than him. There was a rage inside me, my body was filled with anger and I wanted to avenge her. I wanted that vermin to feel what she felt, he needed to feel pain and helplessness."
"And he did. He felt pain. He felt helpless. He cried out for help, just like she did. And then his cries stopped. He made no noise, he did not move but his blood continued to flow out and even that then stopped."
Luca looked down at his hands in front of him. He unclenched them and stretched them out. "I killed him. I had no intention of doing it but I did. I killed that man. It was the first time I had taken a life."
"He- he did... that to a child. He deserved to die!"
Luca shook his head but didn't respond.
"Luca, you didn't mean to kill him it was an accident."
This time Luca did respond. "So was yours."
"I-I.."
"He was not a good man, he was kidnapping you. He would have hurt you, maybe even violated you. You were defending yourself."
"It's not the same." I whispered.
"You are right, it is not. I killed a man in retaliation, you were defending yourself. You did nothing wrong."
"I still killed somebody though. He probably had family, friends who will be lookin-"
"You have family and friends too. We would have been searching for you too. Think about your parents, how would they have felt if something happened to you?" Luca came closer but did not touch me. "That feeling of guilt inside you will fade away, you will move on from this."
"I didn't mean to kill him." I told him as tears streamed down my face. "I punched him and he fell down and didn't get back up."
Luca nodded understanding and spent the next half an hour reassuring me that it wasn't my fault and that it was an accident. He told me I am a lot stronger than I was before and that surge of energy I felt was my body protecting me. I don't have an 'inner wolf' inside me like the real Lycans do that rises up to protect them and give them inhumane strength but I did have immune strength and I would have to learn how to manage that, especially when my emotions are heightened.
"Thank you." I told Luca as he got up to leave.
"Do not thank me, you are family now and I will always help you." Luca paused before talking again. "Vladamir will protect you, he cares about you."
I let out a scoff. Luca had no idea what our 'relationship' was like. "You're wrong."
"He would not have called me if he did not care about you."
He probably just wanted me to shut up and didn't know how to get me to stop.
"You do not believe me but I am not wrong." He mused. "He first texted me and demanded I come here immediately, he then called me and said I had no choice and if I refused he would drag me here. I would have come regardless, he did not have to threaten me."
"That's Vladamir, bossing people around and threatening them."
"It was different, I could hear the concern in his voice, very faint but nonetheless it was there. I cannot recall a time I have heard or seen Vladamir worried."
Unsure of how to respond to that, I remained quiet.
"I did have my doubts and concerns regarding the pair of you, more concern for you than Vladamir. I did not want him to hurt you. All my doubts have gone and I am absolutely confident that he will not hurt you and will keep you safe."
"You got all that from a phone call." My voice was sceptical and full of disbelief.
"And his eyes."
"His eyes? What do you mean?"
"The eyes do not lie." Luca said with a smile on his face. "And in his eyes I saw it."
"Saw what?"
"Love."
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A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter
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-Kayy xx