dohwa's pov
it's been a week since y/n and i last talked. and if i'm being honest, i've been in a bad mood all week because of it. it feels like there's a hole in my heart, for some reason.
anyways, i've been waiting for y/n, outside the school entrance, for a while. of course, i'm dressed in all black so that no one can notice me. but i think y/n's seen me in this disguise enough times to notice it's me, i hope.
i finally see her walking in my direction. and just as i'm about to call out her name she speed walks past me. there's no way she doesn't recognize me.
my hand moves around her wrist to stop her from walking further away and she immediately turns her head to look at me.
"y/n, its me." i pull down my mask to show my face.
"ohhh i didn't even notice." she plays dumb?
"cut the crap." i try to joke but end up rolling my eyes instead. "why have you been avoiding me y/n?"
"me? avoid? i face my problems head on thank you very much!" she says not so convincingly.
"okay, since you 'haven't been avoiding me'." i pause thinking of what to say to get her attention "...i have a favour to ask of you..."
"what...?"
what do i say...? i need to think of a good excuse...i want to hang out with her- but it can't be just me and her. i don't her to feel uncomfortable...maybe with su-ae? they're good friends right? i mean, i did ask su-ae to watch a movie with me, a few days ago, because no one else (y/n) wanted to go...now's my chance to invite y/n too.
"well...i invited su-ae to the movie theatres and after much convincing she said yes." what should i say to convince her to come? oh, i know. "but she only agreed because i told her it was going to be a double date. so...please come with us." i say a little confused because i managed to tell y/n that su-ae and i are going on a date when i actually wanted it to be y/n and i going on a date.
"go find someone else, you have plenty of other friends." she tries to shoo me away.
"but you're my only real friend. plus, you can bring eunhyuk." i wink playfully at her to let her know that i'm completely joking, knowing- or maybe hoping that she and eunhyuk aren't a thing. but she doesn't seem to realize i'm joking.
her face scrunches up in disgust at my words...thank goodness. wait-
"me and eunhyuk are just friends..."
i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.
"then it can be a platonic date." i keep on going. i have to be an idiot. i keep on digging my grave deeper and deeper. and it's too late to turn back now...
"fine. i'll go if eunhyuk wants to." she agrees but it doesn't seem like she truly wants to agree.
she pulls out her phone and after a few minutes of her typing for a bit, then stopping and then typing again, she looks back up at me.
"it's official! we're going on a double date." she beams in a sarcastic way.
"yay!" i clap my hands together trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "i'll see you tomorrow at 3pm."
i start to walk away but stop, "unless you want me to walk you-"
i look back but she was already a long distance away from me. i guess i won't be walking her home today then...
i pull out my phone and immediately go to su-ae's contact.
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ae-su
remember when i asked you to come to the movies with me😊?
yeah...why
well guess what! we're going tmr!!
okay but what's the rush
i might've told y/n that me and u were going
on a date and that its supposed to be a double date
just because i wanted to hang out
w her
what?? y/n?
i refuse to third wheel again
i'm not going
pleasee
eunhyuk's gonna be there
eunhyuk?? why?
he's y/n's date
i'm going
btw ur messing up ur chances
with her
I KNOW😭 IDK WHY THAT WAS THE BEST REASON MY BRAIN COULD COME UP WITH
U BETTER FIX THAT IF U WANT
HER TO BE UR GF
wait...gf??
...
read
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—3pm, the next day—
the movie started a while ago. the theatre we're in is dead because i wanted to watch a movie that came out a while ago.
i kept on making small remarks about the movie to su-ae to which she would say something funny in return and throw popcorn at me. she was funny but honestly every time she laughed all i could think about was y/n's laugh. but every time i looked over at her she would always be close to eunhyuk while whispering something to him.
"i'm gonna go to the bathroom." y/n abruptly stood up and left before me or anyone could mutter an 'okay'.
i hope she's feeling okay... we haven't talked alone at all today—which was the whole reason i invited her, but of course i had to mess things up by saying su-ae was my date.
-
y/n comes back right as the movie credits start playing. her hair and face look a little wet but i decide not to comment on it.
"what'd i miss?" she asks eunhyuk.
"just the two people who were in love getting separated in the end." he emphasized the 'separated' making y/n giggle. what did he say that was so funny? i don't get it.
"its so sad because they were such a cute couple." su-ae replies to eunhyuk.
"yeah." he said emotionlessly and then he got up from his seat, and started making his way to the exit as su-ae followed after him.
"wow it's almost like they're the ones on a date together." i joked while i made my way to y/n's side.
she didn't say anything so i turned my head to look at her just pursing her lips.
"are you ignoring me again? is this related to why you were ignoring me before?" i ask, genuinely confused.
"no. everything's fine." she smiled. i can't tell if it was fake or if she was just tired.
"are you sure?" i questioned.
"so sure."
i get the feeling that she just wants to be alone- or she just doesn't want to be near me. it hurts a little but, i didn't want to keep being a bother to her.
"alright then, i'm gonna go catch up with su-ae. i'll talk to you later?"
she nods ever so slightly and i hesitate a bit before taking that as even more of a sign to leave her alone.
so i jog over to su-ae and eunhyuk—who were in front of us.
.
.
.
it's been a few days since we went to the movies—which i think made y/n start to avoid me even more.
but today my...dad called and threatened me. as much as i didn't want to be afraid of him- i was. it made me realize that at any time of any day i might not be able to see y/n again. so, i decided to text her so we can talk and figure everything out, hopefully.
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pro gamer
saturday 2:01pm
what happened?
are you okay?
read
today 8:50pm
can you meet me by the playground near your apartment
lmao this isn't su-ae, it's y/n
i know
why what's wrong
idk just meet me there i wanna talk
abt what
stuff
stop being so vague
stop being so nosy 🙄
okay fine i'll meet u there jackass
—————————-————————————-—————
i made my way over to the playground near her apartment. as i got closer to it i noticed y/n sitting on one of the swings. she looked so peaceful, being deep in thought, with the street light reflecting on her making her shine in the dark surrounding her.
i didn't realize she'd get here so early. if i did i wouldn't have stopped by a convenience store—seeing as i didn't know her favourite snacks or if she even wanted snacks so i just left without buying anything.
i make my way over to the swing beside the one she's on, trying to sit down on it as quietly and gently as i could so as to not scare her but that plan didn't work. her head immediately shot up as she slowly turned it to look at me.
"hey." i let out, softly.
"you scared me." she exhales while dropping her tense shoulders.
"sorry." i try to laugh to ease the awkwardness.
"so why'd you text me to meet here?" she asks, sounding a little impatient.
"well you're my only real friend..." i say hoping that she thinks we're at least friends...
"what about su-ae?" a passive aggressive tone escapes her lips?
i try to ignore that tone. "aside from su-ae...anyways, i realized that i don't even know you that well."
"so you decided to text me late at night. on a school night...just to talk?"
"listen, recently we've been pretty distant and that's not what i want."
"that's because you've been spending too much time with your girlfriend." she says in an angry tone which makes me sigh. i must've done something really wrong- but i don't know what. why do i always mess up my relationships, especially with those that are the most important to me.
"hey, dohwa...are you okay?" a worried tone escapes her lips.
"it's my dad..." i drop my head to look at my feet, not wanting her to see my sad expression. "i realized that life's too short, you know? i could die tomorrow for all i know. or the day after..."
"what are you talking about? is something going on at home?" she asks, sounding really concerned now.
"i- um...no." i lie—but i think she can see right through me—before clearing my throat. "please tell me why you've been acting so distant these past few weeks." i turn my head so that i'm now looking at her.
"i don't know...recently i've just felt like i've been a burden to you."
what? a burden? i thought i was the one being a burden to her. i immediately move my swing so that i can hold her hands in mine, to not only comfort her but also to comfort myself.
"you could never be a burden to me. you're actually the complete opposite."
"not just a burden to you but also to your relationship with su-ae..." she opens up because of my words.
i can feel my face drop. i let go of her hands as i turn my swing away from hers so that she doesn't have to see my expression.
"okay what's your problem?!" she snaps. "if you're in love with su-ae then just say it. stop leading me on. it's fucking annoying."
leading her on...? did i do that? i try to think of what to say to let her know i didn't mean to, but all i could mutter out was, "leading you on..? i-" before i get cut off by her phone ringing.
she glares at me before picking up and walking a few feet away from me.
did she mean when i went to pick her up after school and ended up leaving with su-ae instead? or the movies when i wanted to go with her but ended up being su-ae's date? or the time su-ae was helping me with homework from the bottom rankers class because i figured she didn't want to be near me?
all of those times i wanted to be with y/n instead but it was like fate was trying to pull me away from her...i need to let her know that she misunderstood everything.
"i know, i know. okay bye love you." she says before hanging up.
i take that as my chance to speak up, "su-ae and i...we're...-"
"save it. i have to get home, it's late." she turns away from me, about to make her way back to her apartment.
"let me at least walk you home, it's scary at night." i jog over to her side. knowing how dangerous it is, i would forever regret it if she got hurt when i had the choice to walk her home.
"don't. it'll only make things worse." she sighs.
i try to open my mouth, but i can't. i try to move my body, but i can't. all i can do is stand here, frozen, as i watch her walk down the street.
a/n: i feel like i didn't make dohwa very dohwa-y in this chapter😭