Thursday
Vincent hasn't set foot back on the premises of the house but I could see him waiting for her after she drove back from her shifts at her job.
We were sitting on her bed packing and she starts to clean and I put all her stuff into the suitcases she brought with her.
I was sort of sad to see her go but I honestly couldn't live with Vincent, definitely not right now, the memories were still raw and my home was a place where I could live in peace and come here for comfort. It was definitely empty but it calmed me down and gave me a place to create a stimulation free zone or stimulation filled zone and unfortunately.
Vincent was never very understanding of my needs. None of siblings were but I never had to share with any of the rest of them but when Vincent and I were small, we shared rooms because even though there was enough room for all of us to have our own room comfortably, our parents wanted us to bond really well, so they did make us share until ages eight or nine.
Vincent always made fun of me when I would stim when we were younger and regardless of whether he knew or not, my parents did and they should have told him to stop.
I guess I kind of always was screwed with how I was treated as I always last in my parents mind as they always thought that they needed to treat everyone's needs in order from first to last even though it makes no sense.
If anything, it'd have made sense to start at the youngest and make your way up as the youngest will likely have the most needs but I didn't agree with that either. If you have ten children, learn to treat their needs in a way that they are all treated equally. Even if you have two, find a way to treat needs equally.
"We'll be paying some sort of rent." She says and I look up in confusion.
"Why? I don't need it." I respond as I help her fold some clothes and stop when I see her uniform. "Wow. They never bought you a new one did they?"
"Nope! You remember the policy though. Only your parents or guardians can put in the uniform request and then bring the money for the next visit and that is just two things my parents would never do. It served me well though." She puts it inside out and I see a little hidden gem.
It was a stitch with her and my name on it so that we could commemorate our time together and it was lovely. I had one on mine as well. It was very old and stuffed in the back of a closet.
Surprisingly, they didn't make us wear long sleeves but I and anyone else who was tatted up like me had to cover them up whenever we had events where parents came and visited or just for events in general.
There was very different lifestyles within that school as a result of the categories, which were: military adjacent, meaning those who wanted to go into the military and were ages sixteen to eighteen. Behaviour reinforcement, meaning those of us who had to go to improve our behaviour within our sentences and that included Jess and I. Clinical, meaning those who struggled with mental health concerns and opted to go to the school and could opt out at any time but generally, they stayed. Sports, obviously meaning those were there for sports and education, meaning those who simply went to school for the good education and not for any of the other activities.
There was board kids and just daytime attendees but some categories required all kids to board such as Jess and I but other categories who didn't require to board could make their choice.
It was sort of weird that my current school had a no tattoo policy when we were just a public school but I had gotten used to covering up no matter the weather so I was fine with anything.
"Yeah but we are going to pay rent. Don't get it twisted, I've been living here for free minus meaningless expenses here and there but everything you and your family have done for me is enough and I am putting my foot down. Tell us how much you want, considering utility costs and I will need to see them as proof so you don't undercharge me and we can figure it out together if need be." She was being very firm, just like how she always has been. Her being abandoned by her family wrecked her confidence to an unimaginable level and it was glad to see she was regaining her tenacious and strong-willed character that I had grown to known to love her for.
"I really don't need you guys to pay me anything. What if Vincent rags on me for making you guys pay?" I ask and she puts her hands firmly on my shoulder.
"Gia, if he does that, I swear to high hell and back that I'll rag on him back and if it gets intolerable, I will break up with him. I've had this discussion with him because you've always been the first ally in my corner and you come before him nine times out of ten, maybe even more than that and I can always break up with him but I would NEVER break up with you. You've been the one who supported me, got your family to help me out and because of them and you, I managed to accumulate enough money to get out of Remoir and to here with you and I didn't do it for Vincent, I did it so I can see you and even if I don't see you everyday, knowing that you, my best friend in the whole world will be here if I need you, is enough for me. Knowing that I can be here for you and I know you need me because you've had such a hard time is enough for me. Vincent is here because he loves me and I do love him, a whole lot but honestly Gia, I love you more. So yes, we'll pay rent and we'll figure it out after my clothes are packed." She hugs me and I hug her back and we continue to pack and then complete the analysis of the costs.
We decide $550 per calendar month each is very reasonable on both ends and then I help her pack her car.
I wave goodbye to her as she leaves before I trudge my way back upstairs and mope in my bed.
It was irrational of me as I was the one who made the choice but I was alone in this house again and I was sad.