The next morning, Steve helped Mike and Lucas bring in the packages of meat they'd bought for Eddie. He then sent them to check on Dustin's progress while he put everything away. They'd brought back more than he thought they would for the money they had. He had laughed when they'd shown up with Holly's red wagon hitched to the back of Mike's bike filled with raw meat wrapped in butcher paper. Now it was all laid out on the kitchen counter, and he was trying to decide what to put in the refrigerator and what to freeze.
Steve looked up when Eddie shuffled into the kitchen. He was wearing two sweatshirts, a pair of sweatpants, and three pairs of socks and had his arms wrapped around himself for warmth. He wouldn't look directly at Steve, and he kept his distance, across the room with the kitchen table between them. Steve watched him for a long moment until he finally looked up at him from under lowered lashes.
"Are you hungry?" Eddie nodded. "Mike and Lucas brought food you can eat." Eddie lifted his head and sniffed the air. He thought he'd smelled something. That was why he'd gotten out of bed and come downstairs. He took a tentative step towards Steve but then hesitated as fear flashed in his eyes. "Come on, it's okay." Eddie took another step. "We've got steaks, a roast, lamb chops, some liver, deer," he said as he pointed to the different packages. "There's even a beef heart."
Eddie's eyes widened when Steve said that. Steve picked up the paper wrapped heart and held it out to Eddie. Eddie reached for it and took it then took several steps back, like he was afraid Steve would take it from him.
"Thank you," he said hoarsely.
"I'm going to just..." Steve came around the counter. "I'm going to go in the other room. It's a little early in the morning for me to watch something like this."
Eddie nodded and when Steve was out of the room, he tore the butcher paper from the heart and sank his teeth into it, tearing chunks from it and eating them quickly. It only took him a minute to consume the entire heart. He then lifted the paper and licked the blood from it and his hands. When Steve finally came back in the kitchen, Eddie was at the sink, having just washed his hands, and was drinking a glass of water. He turned to face Steve and frowned at the bandage on his neck.
"Was that enough," Steve asked. "Or do you need more?"
"I'm fine," Eddie answered. "Thank you." When Steve took a step closer to him, Eddie took a step back. "Don't."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to hurt you again."
"You won't," Steve stepped closer, and Eddie stepped back, but he hit the kitchen counter and had nowhere else to go. Steve closed the distance between them and reached to cup Eddie's cheek in his hand. "That's what the butcher store on my kitchen counter is for. If you get hungry, there's plenty for you to eat besides me." Steve laughed but Eddie frowned. "Hey, it's not that bad. I'll heal." He kissed Eddie's forehead then moved his hands to his shoulders and rubbed up and down his arms. "Are you warm enough?"
"Yeah," he answered. "Why are you helping me?"
"What did you want me to do," Steve asked. "Leave you out there to fend for yourself?" Eddie shrugged. "You know, if someone else found you, you'd be in jail right now. And I'm pretty sure they wouldn't feed you raw cow hearts." Steve laughed and Eddie finally smiled.
"I know. Thank you." Eddie leaned up and tried to kiss him, but Steve turned his head. "Oh," he said as he sidestepped Steve. "Okay." His cheeks burned red as embarrassment swept over him. "I get it."
"You get what, Eddie?"
"You're afraid of me now." He felt stupid for thinking that Steve would still feel the same about him after what he'd done the night before.
"I'm not afraid of you, Eddie," he said. "But speaking of raw cow hearts, you just ate one. I'll kiss you, but not until you brush your teeth." Before Eddie could say anything, the doorbell rang. "Go upstairs," Steve said with a nervous glance in the direction of the front door.
Eddie nodded and disappeared up the stairs quickly and quietly. Steve went to the door and opened it just a crack, holding his breath and expecting the worst. But he let out that breath when he saw it was Nancy. He opened the door wider and let her in.
"Relax," she told him, noting the almost panicked look on his face. "It's just me."
"Can't be too careful," he said then turned towards the stairs. "It's only Nance," he called up to Eddie. He heard the bathroom door close upstairs. "I think he was going to brush his teeth. Come in. You can help me with the meat." Steve led her to the kitchen and her eyes went wide when she saw all of the packages wrapped in butcher paper on the counter.
"Where are you going to put all of this," she asked.
"Where isn't a problem," Steve answered. "I'm just trying to decide what to freeze."
"Any ideas what he likes best?"
"He seems to like cow hearts," Steve laughed as he raked his fingers through his hair. "Maybe freeze everything but a couple of steaks..." He paused as he examined the labels on the packages. "I bet he'll want the liver, and the kidneys." Nancy covered her mouth with her hand. He looked up at her from where he was bending over the counter. "Something wrong?"
"No," she said, swallowing hard. "Nothing at all."
Nancy helped Steve sort out the packages and then organize what was going into the freezer so that he could find whatever he needed quickly. Everything else, whatever they thought he'd eat in the next day or two, they put into the refrigerator. Steve could thaw whatever else as the need arose.
"So, what's up," Steve finally asked. "You and Robin come up with anything?"
"Actually, we did," Nancy told him as she pulled a few folded sheets of paper from her purse. "There are a lot of empty houses in Hawkins right now." She unfolded the pages and smoothed them out on the counter. "Not only did a lot of families move out of Hawkins, but so did a lot of businesses. Like mortgage and title companies." She looked up at him to see if he understood her meaning. He shook his head at her. "Basically, no one owns these properties. There are fully furnished homes, with electricity and gas and water, and they're just sitting there. Empty."
"What about the police," Steve asked. "Or neighbors?"
Nancy pointed to a printed map of a neighborhood near the edge of town. "Secluded. Off the main roads. Only one in every ten homes is occupied." Steve's eyes widened in realization. "The police are under manned and have a lot more to worry about right now than a squatter."
"Nance, you're brilliant." He took her face in his hands and kissed her.
Nancy reached up and grabbed his wrists, then went up on her toes and kissed him back. But where his kiss had been quick and perfunctory, hers was slow and deliberate. Steve froze, unsure how to react. Nancy slipped one arm behind his neck and held him to her as the kiss lingered.
Eddie, his teeth freshly brushed, and his mouth rinsed twice with Listerine, came down the stairs and around the corner into the kitchen as Steve's arm went around Nancy's waist. He skidded to a stop and backed away from the scene in the kitchen. Eddie looked away, ashamed, like he'd seen something he hadn't been meant to see, then turned and dashed back upstairs before Steve saw him.
Steve shook his head, breaking the kiss and stepped out of Nancy's reach. "Nancy, seriously?" He shook his head again. "What about Jonathan?"
"Jonathan is great," she said quietly. "But he's not as serious as you." She dropped her eyes. "Jonathan and I both love being writers and as far as our careers go, we have the same goals." She hesitated, then raised her eyes to Steve's. "But we don't have the same life goals."
"Did you break up with him?" Steve hoped and prayed in the back of his mind that she'd say no. He had always adored Nancy, maybe even loved her. But things were different now and he didn't want her to suddenly want to be with him after so many things had changed. "He is still your boyfriend, isn't he?"
"He is," she answered. "Do you remember what you told me when we were going to destroy Vecna? About the large brood of Harringtons that you always wanted?" He nodded slowly. "You said I had always been part of that dream."
"Jesus Nancy, you were."
"Were?" Steve nodded again. "So, not anymore?"
"You were with Jonathan," he said. "You are with Jonathan. I moved on." Nancy's face fell. "I'm sorry, Nancy. I don't want to hurt you. I just..."
"You don't have to explain," she said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. It was presumptuous of me to think that you were still pining for me." She laughed humorlessly. "I love Jonathan. I do. I just needed to..." She stopped. There was nothing more she could say.
"Hey, it's okay." Steve went to her and hugged her gently. "Thank you for your help."
"Show those to Eddie," she said, as she backed away and motioned towards the maps she'd laid out on the counter. "If he has a preference, Robin and I can go make sure it's suitable to be lived in." She picked up her purse and put it over her shoulder. "The boys can help us if there's any work that needs to be done."
"Nancy?"
"It's okay, Steve," she said hastily. "Has Dustin had any luck locating Mr. Munson?"
"No," he answered. "Not yet. He's still working on it."
"I'm sure that between Dustin and Suzie, they'll find him soon." She started for the front door. "I'm going to go and..." She trailed off and Steve felt awful for making the situation so awkward. "I'll see you later, Steve."
**********
Half an hour later, when Eddie hadn't come back downstairs, Steve went up to find him. Eddie was standing at his bedroom window, staring out into the distance. He didn't even acknowledge Steve when he came into the room. Steve crossed the room and stopped behind Eddie. He circled his hips with his hands and left a soft kiss on top of his head. Eddie side stepped him, ducking out of his reach.
"Nancy helped me put everything away," he said. "We put enough in the refrigerator for three or four more meals, the rest is in the freezer. We can just thaw it as we go." Eddie nodded and Steve took a step closer to him. "Did you brush your teeth?" Eddie nodded again and Steve slipped an arm around his waist. "Then I want that kiss now."
Eddie slid out of his arms and gave him a weak smile. "Would you mind if I went out for a while?"
"No," Steve answered. "I'll take you wherever you need to go."
Eddie shook his head. "Alone." Stunned into silence, Steve just nodded as he reached into his pocket and took out his car keys. He held them out to Eddie. Eddie shook his head. "I'll walk."
"What if someone sees you," Steve asked.
"I'll stay off the roads," Eddie told him. "I'm just going to walk in the woods for a while."
"Yeah, okay. Sure." Steve reached for him again, but Eddie stepped away. "If you go out the back, past the pool, you can go straight into the woods." Eddie nodded and started for the door. "Don't be gone too long."
Eddie looked back at him. "Why? Did you have something planned," he asked almost sarcastically.
"No, I just..." Steve stopped, confused. Eddie was acting strangely. It was subtle, but something was different, and Steve couldn't put his finger on it. "I just don't want to worry about you."
"You don't have to worry about me," Eddie said. "I can take care of myself." He was gone before Steve could answer.
**********
Eddie walked, his mind blank, not thinking about where he was going, not thinking about anything. He just walked. His hair was tucked under Steve's ball cap that also covered his face, along with Steve's sunglasses. His hands were buried deep in the pockets of the hoodie he wore. He walked for hours until he came to a point where he couldn't walk anymore; there was nowhere left to go. Eddie stopped at the edge of the quarry and gazed out over the water below him. After a moment, he sat down on the hard rock and let his legs hang over the edge.
Staring down into the water, all he could see was Steve kissing Nancy. For a fleeting moment, all he could feel was anger and hatred for Nancy. But that wasn't right, and he knew it. Steve hadn't said he no longer had feelings for Nancy. He'd just said they didn't matter. So, he reigned in that feeling and the thoughts it threatened to bring on. It wasn't Nancy's fault that Eddie was jealous.
He had assumed that something was happening between him and Steve. Steve had never actually said he wanted anything more than friendship from Eddie, other than the flirting and innuendos. But Eddie knew perfectly well that you could want to have sex with someone while still having feelings for someone else. Sex could mean absolutely nothing; it could just be a means to an end, a release. So, maybe that was all Steve had been looking for. Because if it hadn't been for Eddie being in pain, he was sure they'd have already achieved that release together.
But then Steve had discovered Eddie's true nature. When Eddie had pinned him to the bed and straddled him, Steve had been more than eager to be right where he was at that moment. If Eddie had been able to resist his urges, what would have happened? If Eddie hadn't bitten him, how far would Steve have allowed him to go? Eddie knew, in the back of his mind, that sex had been the next step in their relationship. Until he bit him.
Everything seemed to have died with that bite. The very next morning, he wouldn't let Eddie kiss him, then he finds Steve kissing Nancy just a few minutes later. Eddie hung his head and shook it slowly. He was stupid to think that Steve could look past the fact that Eddie had attacked him. Or that he was having to stock his kitchen with raw meat to keep that from happening again. He was even stupider to think that he might actually mean something to Steve, enough that maybe they could work past those things.
Who was he kidding? This was Steve Harrington. King Steve. The Golden Boy. He was a pompous ass. Eddie had thought he had changed, but maybe he hadn't. Maybe he was just out for what was easy and best for himself in any situation. But Eddie knew that wasn't true. Eddie had seen Steve's true nature when they fought Vecna together. That was why Eddie had fallen so hard for him. But now it was over. He'd attacked Steve and now Steve was once again pursuing Nancy. So, Eddie's feelings didn't matter. He would just have to hold on until they found his uncle, or somewhere for him to go other than Steve's house. Then he could just forget about Steve and go on with his life.
**********
The sun was starting to set, and Eddie still hadn't come home. Steve was pacing, muttering to himself, trying to convince himself that Eddie was fine. He could take care of himself. He didn't need a babysitter. But Steve couldn't help it. It was in his nature to take care of the people he cared about, and Eddie was one of those people.
Hours ago, he had started regretting that he let Eddie leave and he considered calling Nancy, or Dustin, to come help him look for Eddie. But where would they look? He'd gone into the woods and could be anywhere. Steve had no idea what direction he had taken off in. There was no way they could find him. Especially if he didn't want to be found. And Steve suspected that was the actual case. He wasn't sure why, but Eddie had seemed almost angry when he left. Maybe he just needed time to himself to work past whatever was bothering him.
Steve glanced at the clock. It had been almost eight hours and Eddie was still not back. Even if he had been mad about something, or needed time alone, whatever it was, he'd been gone way too long. Steve reached for the phone. He needed to call someone. He dialed Nancy's number. She answered just as Eddie walked in the back door.
"Nancy, sorry, never mind." Eddie frowned when he heard her name.
"Steve, what's going on," Nancy asked through the phone.
"Nothing," he said. "My mistake. I'll call you later." He hung up quickly and rushed to Eddie, reaching for him. Eddie shrunk back so Steve dropped his hands to his sides, resisting the urge to haul Eddie into a tight hug. "Where have you been?"
"Sattler Quarry," he answered as Steve tried to step closer to him again. "Don't get too close," Eddie told him. "I'm hungry and I don't want to hurt you again."
"Come get something to eat." Steve went to the refrigerator and took out two packages. "Steak or liver?" Eddie approached him slowly and reached for one. Steve put the liver back into the refrigerator and turned back to face Eddie as he unwrapped the steak.
"You sure you can stand to watch me eat this?" Steve just shrugged then closed his eyes momentarily when Eddie took a bite of the raw meat. When he opened them again, Eddie had his back to him as he ate. He paused for a moment. "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what," Steve asked, generally confused about Eddie's attitude.
"Like I'm some kind of monster." He sighed heavily. "Just let me eat."
Steve left the room to let Eddie eat in peace. When Eddie was done and he had disposed of the wrapper and washed his face and hands, he noticed the maps Nancy had brought that morning on the counter. He picked them up and started leafing through them as he went into the living room where Steve was waiting. He was sitting on the couch, holding a book, but not really reading it. Eddie sat across from him and held up the pages with a questioning look.
"Nancy and Robin," Steve said then explained what Nancy had told him that morning. Eddie nodded as he listened, examining the maps. There were several houses that were secluded enough away from neighbors that Eddie thought would make good choices. "We still have some time, though," Steve told him. "You don't have to decide yet. Let's see if Dustin and Suzie have any luck with your uncle first."
"Yeah, okay." Eddie stood up. "I'm going to take a shower."
"Do you need help?" Eddie shook his head and started to walk away. "Eddie?" He stopped but didn't look back. "Is everything okay?" Eddie didn't answer, just went upstairs.
Later, when Steve was ready for bed, he went upstairs, expecting to find Eddie in bed asleep. Instead, he found him curled into the chair in the corner of his room, sleeping soundly, his knees up, his arms around his shins, and his cheek rested on his knees. He watched him for a long time, considering if he should wake him up and put him into bed or not. He started to, but then changed his mind. Something was up. He was avoiding Steve as much as he could being in the same house together. If he had wanted to sleep in the bed, like he had been doing, he would have gone to sleep there. Not in the chair. So, Steve got a blanket and draped it over him, tucked it around him so it wouldn't slide off, then kissed him softly on top of the head before getting into bed and falling into a fitful sleep.