Warning: R18. Read at your own risk. Sulitin niyo na. 🙂
"I hate my parents." Cypress spat out randomly.
Napatingin ako sa katabi ko na bumibili ng taho habang nakahanda ang aabutin n'yang bayad sa nagbebenta. Nandito kasi kami ni Cypress sa Quiapo dahil sabi ko sa kanya ay mag-date kami dahil wala namang pasok ngayon.
Eh ayoko naman sa mga expensive restaurants. Nakakasawa kaya, I wanted to try new things like this.
"You— what?"
"I hate my parents." She repeated.
"W-What do you m-mean?" I can't understand what she's trying to say right now. She's so random and I got worried about what she suddenly uttered. "We should go, malalate na tayo sa first mass."
"Here, you like this Filipino silken tofu, right?"
"Yes, thank you, my love." Malawak ang aking ngiti habang tinatanggap ito sa kanya. Naglakad kami habang iniinom ang taho na binili namin. "What do you mean about the uhm- I hate my parents thing?" I asked, careful with my words.
"Oh, you mean what I said earlier?" She moved her head sideways to look at me with her lips stretched into a thin line.
"Yes." I answered and looked around with my hands covering the top of my eyes from the rays of sunshine emitting towards me. There are also a lot of people here and they also sell a lot of items like different kinds of food and clothes.
Mamaya ay pupunta kami ng Intramuros dahil malapit lang raw yun dito.
"Nothing. Just forget about it."
"Varsha!!!" I called her name to complain. "Alam mo naman siguro na nalimutan ko na halos ang nakaraan mo, bakit ba ayaw mong ulitin pa muli ang kuwento mo sa akin?"
Kumunot ang aking noo at ngumuso. Wala s'yang sinabi at tumawa lamang ng mahina, grabe, kahit ang munting pagtawa lamang niya ay sobrang gandang pakinggan, nakakapang-hina ng tuhod.
Nakakakilig.
Hinalikan nito ang aking kamay at bumulong. "Soon, love, I'll tell you."
I pouted and grumbled. I walked away and stick out my tongue in a mocking way at her. Hindi ba niya alam na bigla akong nag-alala sa kanyang binigkas?
"Love, don't walk too fast! You're leaving me behind!"
Hindi ko s'ya pinansin at patuloy lamang sa paglalakad, ang aking mga braso ay naka-krus.
Tatlong linggo na ang nakakalipas matapos kong buksan ang regalong hindi ko inaasahang matanggap, hindi ko tinext or pinansin ang number na binigay nito sa'kin kahit nakakatukso.
Hindi ako mag-sisinungaling pero ang pangyayaring iyon ay hindi ko pa rin maalis-alis sa aking isipan; lahat ng mga salitang nakatala sa sulat na iyon ay nakakalito at hindi kapani-paniwala.
Hindi kapani-paniwala? Or do I just refuse to accept it?
I mean... who the fuck is my mother? Iisa lang naman ang nanay namin ng ate ko. Imposibleng ako ay isang ampon sa kadahilanang magka-mukha kami ni ate Alex na halos kami ay parang pinag-biyak na bunga.
Parehas din naming nakuha ang aming magagandang mala-berdeng mga mata sa aming ama.
Kaya... ano ang ipinaparating ng sulat mula sa regalo na iyon?
Sino rin ang estrangherong nagsulat no'n?
Wala muna akong balak alamin ang totoo sa ngayon, pero unti unti akong binabalot ng sakit ng ulo habang iniisip ang puntod na sinasabi ng taong 'yon?
Ayun lang muna ang gusto kong alamin. My grave.
I want to visit the grave that person told me about.
But how? How can I know the place and location of that grave if I refuse to text the person who gave me the letter? I'm scared, for real.
Takot ako na baka lalong lumala ang gulo, na baka idamay pa ng taong iyon si ate Alex at ang girlfriend ko.
Fuck life.
Bakit ba kasi hindi pa bumabalik lahat ng ala-ala ko?
Why do I need to suffer from my thoughts this much? Ayoko na! Sawang sawa na ako!
"Hey, are you alright?" Someone tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear which I knew who she is immediately. "May masakit ba sa'yo? Tell me." She asked worriedly.
"I'm okay, medjo nairita lang ako nang di mo sabihin sa'kin yung hinahanap kong sagot, hmph, hindi mo ba alam na napupuno na naman ang utak ko sa mga nakakabitin mong mga salita, ha?"
"Baby, it's not like that... sabi mo kasi ay malalate na tayo sa misa."
"Okay, tell me after mass ha! Kung hindi ay sa labas ka matutulog, tara na." Tumango s'ya ng ilang beses at naglakad na kami papasok ng church.
Lumuhod ako sa may luhuran at pinag-kapit ang aking dalawang kamay at pumikit. Kinausap ko si Lord sa aking isip ng tahimik.
Lord, unang una po sa lahat ay gusto ko po sanang humingi ng patawad sa aking mga kasalanang nagawa, labis labis po akong nagpapasalamat sa mga biyayang patuloy na binibigay niyo po sa amin...
at labis po akong nagpapasalamat sa babaeng binigay niyo po sa'kin.
Alam ko pong suway sa inyong kautusan ang aming pag-mamahalan ngunit hindi pa rin mababago ang pagiging faithful ko po sa inyo. Patuloy ko pa rin po kayong sasambahin at pupurihin habang minamahal ang babaeng binigay niyo po sa akin.
I love her Lord.
I love her so much.
Please protect her at all times, please let us be happy, please free us from problems, lalong lalo na po ngayon na parang feeling ko ay may padating na naman pong problema.
Salamat po Lord, Amen.
Natapos ang misa kaya hinintay muna namin ni Cypress na makalabas lahat ng tao bago kami. Nang makaalis na kami sa simbahan ay napag-desisyunan muna naming kumain muna.
"Cypress, picturan kita!"
"Baby, wag na, medjo maamos pa ako—"
"Ang arte mo! Popost ko lang sá instagram eh!"
"Okay."
Malawak akong naka-ngisi habang pinosisyon ang cellphone ng maayos para mapicturan ang magandang babaeng nasa harap ko ngayon.
I wrote a caption. 'Having lunch with my beloved.'
Kumain muna ako at hindi pinansin ang mga naririnig kong notifications after kong ipost yung picture.
"You posted me..." I heard her whisper in front. I smiled.
"Of course. Why? You want me to delete it? Are you afraid that you might get issued? I can delete it, wait." Nalulungkot at sunod sunod kong turan, bigla s'yang nataranta.
"No!!!" Inabot niya ang kamay ko at umiling-iling. "It's not that, I'm just... ano, because last time I tried to post you, you got somehow irritated because we might get rumored and issued."
She looked away. My gaze softened.
"Cypress, may topak pa ako no'n at ayun yung time na nasa enchanted kingdom tayo and bigla mo akong hinalikan noong gabi before ng araw na 'yon tapos akala ko ay bago palang tayong magkakilala—" bago ko pa matapos ang aking sasabihin ay pinutol na ako ng kausap ko.
"I'm sorry if I kissed you that night. Hindi ko mapigilan, I badly want to kiss you again after being separated from you for a very long time. It also hurts me because of how the way you opened up your painful feelings and you thought that no one loved you."
Nagulat ako.
My fingers twitched and my eyes are starting to tear up from her words. I didn't know that she felt that way when I still have no idea about our past relationship.
"Mahal na mahal kita at gusto ko na kaagad yun iparamdam sa iyo kahit nahihirapan ka pa sa iyong emosyon. I want to make you feel loved and special because that's what you need the most and I'm also ready to be rejected by you."
How can I reject her? Who can reject a woman like her? Damn! She's the only thing I need in my life. Wala nang iba.
"Basta ang importante ay minahal kita at alam mong mahal kita. Okay na sa'kin na naparanas ko ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo." Ngumiti ito sa'kin, ang kanyang labi ay nakaunat na parang busog habang pinagmamasdan lang namin ang isa't isa.
"I liked that kiss." I confessed.
"W-what?" Napatili siya sa gulat at napatigil kumain.
"I said, I liked that kiss but I chose to deny it because of my stupid thoughts." I chuckled and held her hand. "The reason I kissed you back is because I like it, the reason I didn't push you away is because I like it... I like you." Ngumisi ako.
Her cheeks reddened and her face appeared to be happy and surprised. "B-but, you got mad that morning because you thought I stole your first kiss—"
"Still, even with my amnesia, I can't think of any person to be my first kiss but you." I swallowed a lump from my throat before speaking once more;
"Even if I was genuinely in denial that time, I don't regret making that night as my most wonderful and unforgettable experience ever." I continued.
Umawang ang bibig niya at ang kanyang mukha ay tila hindi makapaniwala sa aking sinabi ngunit halata ang kaligayahan at pagmamahal sa kanyang mga mata.
"I— you really..."
"Pero bakit mo muna ako tinarayan sa first encounter natin! Sinisigawan mo ako nung time na yun!"
"That's... a long story." Aniya.
"What?! Hindi mo na naman sasabihin sa'kin?!" Pumadyak-padyak ako at pinandilatan siya ng mata. Hindi s'ya sumagot at tumingin lamang sa kawalan na lalong nagpainis sa'kin.
"Ok, confirmed, sa labas ka matutulog mamaya." I said and rolled my eyes on her. I grabbed my phone and checked my instagram notifications.
Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ko ang mga comments.
ben&benedita ma'am, paki-alagaan ng mabuti yung baby namin.
sofiajzzgry sanaol 😊
akiraxyz bading bading bading bakla bakla bakla
clairesheesh enjoy kayo sa lunch date niyo, Sandra, ikaw naman daw dinner ng beloved mo mamaya.
jammyica bebe, pakisabi kay Cypress, pautang.
clairesheesh matutong mag-pigil ha? Baka lagnatin ka na naman ng isang linggo HAHAHAHAH chariz.
KylaPark WHEN I met youuu, I never knew what love wasss
jammyica @KylaPark tanga, till I met you 'yon. Magpaparinig ka na nga lang, mali pa.
MissSelene enjoy your day with her, Alessandra.
My eyes broadened in shock when I saw Selene's comment. She's been avoiding for three weeks for god's sake! Gusto ko s'yang makausap.
I can't understand her. She's one of my college friends and the moment I stepped into that University ay nilandi niya ako kahit siya ay isang propesor at malaki ang galit sa kanya ni Cypress kahit magkakasama naman kami sa band dati.
She touched me and tried to kiss me. I hate it when she did that and I don't know why she did that.
Freaking hell, I need answers.
~~~^^~~~^^~~~^^~~~
"Sinong mga kasama natin sa band?" Tanong ko sa girlfriend ko habang naglalakad kami patungo sa music room. Jusko, bukas na yung festival pero ngayon lang nilang naisipan mag-meeting
"Ewan." She replied with a bored tone.
"Sino nga." I threatened and glared at her.
She sighed and gave me a side-eye. "The old members from our band. Ang pinagkaiba nga lang ay wala ang apat ng tarantado which is ang aking dalawang kapatid at ang iyong dalawang kaibigan."
"Ibig sabihin nandoon si Selene?"
"Si Selene na naman ang nasa isip mo... tsk." Sinamaan ako nito ng tingin, agad akong tumawa at umiling.
"Love, you know my reasons. I just wanted to confirm something, no more, no less." I assured her habang palapit na kami sa aming destinasyon.
"Baka ma-fall ka sa kanya pag nag-yakapan kayo ha—"
"Bakit ko naman yayakapin? Shake hands is enough. I already have you as my cuddle buddy." I snorted and kissed her cheek in a swift way as possible.
Okay lang rin naman kahit may students dahil kalat na ang relasyon namin sa buong campus. Yung rumors ko naman na kumalat dati sa kagagawan nina Sasha at Kaycee ay natapos na rin sa tulong ng aking mga kaibigan at ng aking magandang nobya kaya tumigil ang pagkalat.
"Kairo Lorenzo Cruz?!" Galit at pasigaw kong usal matapos kong buksan ang pinto.
Fuck! He's one of the members of our band! A bandmate to be exact! Bigla kong nalimutan dahil ang tanging natatandaan kong member lamang ay si Selene.
Ay hindi, natatandaan ko rin pala si tukmol pero ayoko siyang ituring bilang miyembro, duh.
"Hello Sandra, I know we've been bandmates years ago but I'm your professor now, at least give me some respect—"
"Respect mo mukha mo!" I scoffed and crossed my arms.
Lumingon ako kay Cypress at nag-puppy eyes. "Why is he there! I hate that tukmol so much!" Panunumbong ko at nakaduro ang aking daliri sa lalaking nasa loob ng music room, tila hindi matanggap na may naligaw na aso sa banda namin.
Totoo nga ang sabi nila, kahit mawalan ka pa ng ala-ala ay hindi magbabago ang mga nararamdaman mo tungo sa tao. Tingnan mo nalang kami ni Kairo Cruz na simula't pa sa una na naging bandmates at hanggang sa naging propesor ko s'ya ay matindi pa rin ang galit ko sa kanya.
Only heaven knows how much I hate this man with all my life!
"S-sorry, si Jamaica lang talaga ang kukunin ko kaso wala na akong ibang mapili dahil kasali sina Benedict and Claire sa battle of the bands."
"Tch."
"Pasok na tayo—"
"Wait? Jamaica? As in, si Miss Jamaica?" I cut her off, my knotted brows suddenly vanished and raised in confusion.
Binaling ko muli ang ulo ko para makita ang kabuuan ng silid at doon ko nakita si Miss Jamaica na nilalaro ang trumpet. Kinawayan ako nito at ngumiti.
Gamit ang aking dalawang daliri sa magkabilang kamay ay hinawakan ko ang gilid ng ulo ko at pumikit. "Jamaica, Jamaica, Jamaica— wala akong naalalang Jamaica!!!" Natataranta kong sigaw kay Cypress.
"Alessandra, it's okay. Don't force yourself at baka sumakit 'yang ulo mo." Miss Jamaica uttered and motioned us to enter the door. "Pumasok na kayo, lalabas ang aircon."
"Paano lalabas? Nakakalakad ba 'yan?" Tila nang-aasar na sambit ni Cypress matapos naming makapasok.
"You know what I mean, Zenebe, wag kang pilosopa."
"Pilosopa? Diba pilosopo yun—"
"Isa."
"Haha, ampota sa'n nanggaling ang pilosopa—"
"Dalawa."
"Female term ba yun—"
"Selene!!!" Tawag ko habang malalim ang aking mga paghinga, nilagpasan ko si Cypress upang pumunta sa babaeng matagal na akong iniiwasan.
"I need to talk to you." Mariin kong sambit at seryosong tinitigan siya. Bahagya s'yang napalunok at bumuntong hininga. "Come on, Selene, I need answers sa mga ginawa mo sa'kin."
"Tapos na 'yon, you should move on."
"Anong you should move on! Neknek mo! Kaibigan kita but instead na kaibiganin ako ulit ay nilandi mo ako! Ba't mo ginawa 'yon, ha!"
She looked away, guilty.
"Come on, wag ka nang tumakas at kahit magpaliwanag ka manlang."
"I'll talk to you later after practice. Papatayin na ako ng girlfriend mo." I got startled and slowly turned around to face the other professor who's now sending deadly daggers at Selene.
Mabilis akong lumapit dito at hinawakan s'ya sa kanyang mga braso. "Hey, let's go. Start na tayo." Sabi ko at deretsong naka-sulyap sa kanyang mga mata.
Varsha sighed but agreed anyways.
"Kailangan pa natin ng isang vocalist. Lalaki dapat." Sabi ni tukmol once na mag-kumpol kumpol sa kanyang puwesto para mag-pulong.
Ka-band mates ko lang dati? Kabatch? Ka-members? Tapos ngayon mga professors ko na! Sino ba ang may kasalanan at nawalan ako ng ala-ala para masapak ko, nahuhuli na ako! Siya ang may kasalanan kung bakit studyante pa rin ako ngayon!
"I know a girl—"
"We need a boy." Putol agad ni Kairo kay Selene.
"Desisyon ka." Kunot-noo kong rebat. Nag-tinginan ang mga propesor sa'kin habang ako naman ay nanatili sa aking puwesto. "Ano Cypress? Wag mong sabihing agree ka sa decision ni doggy?"
"I'm not pero bahala na muna kayo."
"Oh, so ibig sabihin agree ka nga, bahala siya eh." I raised my one eyebrow at her habang tinuturo si Kairo na ngayon ay nakahawak na sa kanyang puso na tila offend na offend.
"Did you just call me a dog?"
"Oo— wait, ngayon ko lang napansin na hindi pala nagbago ang mukha mo. Gosh, ang pangit mo pa rin." Nandidiri kong turan sa lalaki at umiling.
Napatawa ang girlfriend ko.
"How about si Tristan West? He can sing." Ngiting saad ni Selene at pumalakpak. Kitang kita ko ang pagdalos ng inis sa mukha ni Cypress.
"WHAT?!"
"Oh come on! Tumigil na kayong dalawa, para kayong tanga." Naiinis na sambit ni Miss Jamaica habang kinakamot ang kanyang ulo. "Cypress, stop being so immature! Tapusin niyo na yung meeting at susunduin ko 'tong si Kyla! Broken na naman."
"Bakit parang ang init ata lagi ng ulo mo ngayon— wait? Kyla is not here? Ibig sabihin hindi siya nagtuturo like right now? Juskopong guro 'yon! Professor siya pero nag-cucutting, bawasan ko sweldo niya eh!"
"Hayaan mo na ang isang 'yon. Hindi kasi pinili—"
"Kahit na! Teacher s'ya dito at kailangan n'ya magturo ke't broken s'ya o hindi. Ano siya? Gold?" Patuloy pa rin sa pagsasagutan ang dalawang propesora kaya sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataon para kausapin si Selene.
"Selene." I called.
"Pwede bang ipag-pabukas nalang?" Pagod niyang pakiusap.
"No! I want your answers now para tapos na! Pakiusap!" Sagot ko naman at sinamaan siya ng tingin. Ang atensyon naman ng mga ka-miyembro ko ay nalipat sa akin.
"Okay, fine! Come with me!"
I turned around to question my girlfriend about it, but as soon as I saw how she was shooting us with daggers, I immediately regretted it and had the chills. Gosh...
"Where do you think you're going? I'll come also."
"Y'know Zenebe, pakisali ka. Could you please let us talk alone?" Selene pleaded in annoyance. Her palm is busy massaging her nape in frustration.
"Alone pero dalawa kayo? Tigilan niyo nga ako!"
I was about to walk towards her when Selene grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the scene, leaving Cypress dumbfounded.
"S-Selene, a-anong ginagawa m-mo! B-bitawan mo nga a-ako!" Singhal ko at pilit na inaalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin.
"You want to talk, right? Pero bakit parang ayaw mo na ngayon?" Tanong niya sa akin na tila nangungutya.
"Not in this way! Magaaway kami!"
"Sus, edi mag-away kayo, wala na akong pake d'yan." She replied in a matter of fact. Malamang! Hindi naman siya maapektuhan!
Pinasok niya ako sa classroom na walang laman na estudyante.
"Okay, speak." She let go of my arms and looked at me intently with her lips not even making a curve. She caressed her head, trying to calm herself down.
I didn't talk, not even uttering a mere word. I just stared at her with my eyes blank, crossed arms, and leaning against the whiteboard.
"Why are you not speaking? Are you afraid?" She challenged.
It's not that I'm afraid... I just don't know on how will I start this suffocating and intoxicating conversation with her.
"Bakit mo ako nilandi? Bakit mo ako minanyak? Bakit hindi mo ako tinigilan? Bakit hindi mo manlang pinakilala ang sarili mo bilang aking kaibigan, bakit mas pinili mong gawin ang mga kamanyakan sa akin kaysa kilalalanin muna kita? Bakit mo ako nagustuhan, bakit—"
"Hey, slow down—"
"Just answer it!" Binuhaghag ko ang buhok ko.
"Can y-you repeat the question? Sinunod-sunod mo ba naman, ang hirap tandaan." Sabi niya at kumamot ng ulo.
"Our first encounter." I exclaimed, trying to make my tone as calm as possible. "You flirted with me while I'm taking my exam, and you wanted to call me by my second name pero hindi naman tayo close."
"That's just a mistake, miss Alessandra. Move on. Like what you've said, I just wanted to be your friend again that time dahil alam kong hindi mo ako naalala."
"Friend, friend, friend ampt. For your information, I believe you're trying to flirt with me that time, Miss Fernandez."
"Seducing you, yes. But flirt? No." Sabi niya at nagulat nalang kami at biglang may lumalagabag ng pinto sa labas. Natakot ako dahil sobrang lakas, as in.
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!!" Alam ko na kaagad kung kaninong boses iyon, lalong lumuwang ang aking mga mata at ang aking puso ay kumakabog sa pangangamba.
"Open the dooor! Right. Now!" Yung tono ng kanyang tinig ay may halong inis at kawalan ng pasensya. Jusko.
"BUKSAN MO SELENE!"
Ako na mismo sana ang lalapit sa pinto ngunit inunahan na ako ni Selene pero bago n'ya pa ito mabuksan ay lalong dumagdag ang kaba ko nang unti-unting bumagsak ng mabagal ang pinto.
Isa lang ang ibig sabihin non.
Tuluyan nang nasira ang pinto.
Mabuti nalang talaga at walang studyante ngayon sa hallway na 'to dahil sila ay mga nag-hahanda para sa school festival na gaganapin bukas, kung hindi ay kanina pa sana kami na-videohan, napag-chismisan, pinag-tinginan at pinag-usapan. Jusko.
I gritted my teeth and just glanced away as Selene covered her face with her hands crossed in a V shape in front of her face. When I turned my attention back towards the door, I saw the woman I was expecting to see.
She's sending death glares. Hindi sa'kin pero sa isang babae na kasama ko. Mukha na s'yang papatay.
Then she started to walk, each steps screams authority and power, she passed through Selene's figure until she stopped right ahead of me. I gulped.
"Hindi ka manlang bumalik." Sabi niya at kinuha ang kamay ko. "You could've just snatch your hand away from her grasp yet you didn't."
She started to walk backwards and then she turned around, hands still in contact with mine as we walked towards the exit of the door.
"Nag-uusap pa kami." Narinig kong sambit sa likod ko.
Cypress raised her eyebrow and stopped. She turned around once again and gave Selene a scowling look. "Well? I don't care? Do you think I care? No."
"You broke the door—"
"You can't blame me. Nag-alala ako, baka manyakin mo na naman eh." Mataray n'yang tugon at lalong hinigpitan ang hawak sa'kin.
Wala na muling nagsalita pa sa amin at hindi ko rin ginagalaw ang aking katawan dahil nag-iisip pa ako kung paano ko ma-aayos ang sitwasyon.
Kailangan ko ng sagot.
Hindi lang sagot tungkol sa mga ginawa ni Selene ngunit sagot sa mga nangyari sa akin noong nakaraan na ngayon ay hindi ko na maalala.
"Cypress, please, ngayon lang." Mariin kong sambit.
"Let's just go." Humakbang siya ngunit nanatili pa rin ako sa aking puwesto at malamig s'yang tinitigan.
I gave her a blank stare that can send chills down her spine, she slowly came towards me while gulping.
"Isa." Sabi ko. She immediately behaved and rolled her eyes. She removed her grasp from my hand with hesitation and pouted.
"Fine." Sabi niya at lalong lumapit sa'kin at hinawakan ang aking balikat. Unti-unti niyang tinuon pasulong ang kanyang ulo hanggang sa makaabot 'to sa aking tainga.
"Lagot ka sa'kin mamaya." aniya.
Tila nahugutan ako ng hininga sa sinabi niya, bumitaw ito sa'kin at matamis akong nginitian na may halong pagka-peke. She raised her arm and motioned me to talk with Selene.
Pinag-sawalang bahala ko nalang at lumapit uli sa babaeng kausap ko kanina. "Now where were we?"
"I'll make my explanation as quick as possible." She's not taking her eyes off me when she said those words. "Let's start with our first encounter; the moment we met during your entrance exam here at Zenbe University."
I crossed my arms, expecting her to continue.
"I was shocked and in rush that time." She started and looked away, fist clenching and jaw clamping. "I'm sorry..."
Kumunot ang noo ko at lalo akong naging kabado sa kanyang sinaad. "What do you mean sorry and in rush?" Malumanay kong tanong.
Hindi siya sumagot.
Nawalan na ako ng pasensya at hindi mapigilang yugyugin ang kanyang braso. "Hey! You said you'll make this quick as possible!" Singhal ko sa kanya.
"I was impatient." She continued with her eyes shrinking in guiltiness. "I was impatient that time because I want you to love me back dahil..."
She smiled sadly and bound her head towards the girl leaning against the door. In short, si Cypress.
"Naunahan na naman ako eh."
Umawang ang bibig ko at hindi ko na alam ang aking magiging reaksyon. "W-what do you mean?"
"I already confessed to you five years ago yet you rejected me because of her." She spoke, still staring at Varsha. "Now that I've got the chance to pursue and claim you, now that you don't know your lover from the past... I thought...I thought you might reciprocate my feelings."
"I was so selfish, I thought that maybe flirting with you can make you fall in love with me but I was wrong, masyado akong in rush dahil alam ko naman sa sarili ko na naunahan na naman ako."
"Flirting with me doesn't mean I'm going to fall for your stupid words, Selene. Saan mo nakuha 'yan?" Hindi ko mapigilan na mainis sa kanyang mga binibigkas.
"I know, nataranta ako. I'm sorry if I took advantage of you and your amnesia. Nataranta kasi ako because Cypress was already making her move that time and I can only admire you from afar."
I was speechless, I don't know what to say. Yes, I'm still angered about her wrongdoings but right now; I'm not seeing her as a friend anymore, more like I think of her as a complete stranger.
"With all those poems and letters you showed me, hindi mo manlang napansin ang pagkirot ng aking puso habang kinukwento mo siya sa akin."
"I was hurt." She confessed, "I was hurt because when you lost your amnesia, I thought that you also lost your feelings for her but I was wrong."
"You lost your memories yet you're still attracted to the same person. You chose her."
Now, I'm more curious about my past. My relationship with other people, my relationship with Cypress and my relationship with my family.
Gusto ko malaman lahat.
I'm getting impatient. Gusto ko na bumalik lahat ng ala-ala ko.
Selene is right. I still love and chose the same person from before, even with those silly and complicated arguments, I still manage to have a relationship from the person I loved from the past.
Walang pinagbago. Siya at siya pa rin.
"Siguro hindi lang talaga tayo tinadhana para sa isa't isa." Malumanay siyang ngumiti at kinuha ang kamay ko. "Dahil tadhana na rin mismo ang gumawa ng paraan para magtagpo kayong muli."
It seems like I chocked on my own saliva when I heard that.
"So Miss Alessandra, please, I want this to be our last conversation."
"W-what?"
"I want to move on." She chuckled. "Loving you for five years is no joke." she remarked.
Kumurap-kurap ako para i-process ang mga sinabi niya. Seryoso ba siya? "Wait! I still have more questions to ask..."
"Hmm? Ano yun?" Nawiwindang niyang tanong at binitawan ang kamay ko. "You should be quick. Baka pasabugin na ni Cypress ang buong school." She joked.
"Anong university ang pinasukan ko during my first year of college?" I asked in a whisper, hoping to find some answers.
"I believe I can't answer that—"
"Bakit ba kayo gan'yan?! Sa tuwing magtatanong ako tungkol sa aking nakaraan ay ganan ang mga isasagot niyo sa akin. Ano bang tinatago niyo sa akin?" Mahina lamang ang boses ko para hindi marinig ni Varsha.
"It's for your own good—"
"Own good? Alam niyo bang may..." tumigil ako sa dapat kong sasabihin nang pamuntikan kong mabuking ang aking sikreto at ayun ay ang taong nagbigay sa'kin ng letter.
The person who knows and is willing to give me all the answers.
"May?" She repeated my word.
"Never mind." I sighed. I was about to walk away but her next statement made me stop from my tracks.
"Hilton University." She uttered that made my mind go blank, my head is now throbbing in pain when I heard that school name.
"Selene, what the fuck did you just say?" May pigurang lumagpas sa'kin at naglakad patungo kay Selene at mabrusko nitong hinawakan ang kanyang braso.
"Cypress—"
"Don't tell me you told her..." nag-aalalang tanong ni Varsha, kumunot ang kanyang noo at binigyan si Selene ng nagmumukmok na tingin.
Selene raised her hands. "Don't worry, it's nothing." She shook her head.
"That's not what I heard." Cypress seriously voiced out, her eyes contracting in demeanor.
"Cypress, tara na." Sabi ko at hindi inaalis sa aking isip ang paaralang sinabi sa akin ni Selene. "Uwi na tayo." I will visit that school probably tomorrow before my fashion show.
"Tch." Is the only thing she responded but obeyed my order anyways.
"Can I hug your girl for one last time?"
"Nakausap mo na't lahat pero manyak ka pa rin??!!" Cypress unbelievably questioned and gave her an unexplainable look.
"Anong manyak do'n!"
"Oh my gosh! Gusto ko na umuwi, wag na kayong mag-away pa." Nayayamot kong bigkas at bumitaw sa hawak ni Varsha at nagalakad patungo kay Selene.
"Just promise me that after this hug ay lalayuan mo na ako." Seryoso kong saad, tumango siya at ako lang ba ang nakapansin? Umagos ang sakit sa kanyang mga mata.
Wala pang isang segundo ay may pumutol na sa yakap at hinila ako paalis at pinulupot ang kanyang braso sa aking baywang.
"That's enough. Aalis na kami." Walang sinagot si Selene kundi mahinang tawa lamang.
"Zenebe." Tawag niya bago kami makalabas ng pinto.
Tumaas ang kilay ni Varsha at masungit itong nilingon. "What?"
Ngumiti si Selene.
"Ang swerte mo."
~~~^^^~~~~^^^~~~
"You drive." Finally, nagsalita na rin si Cypress nang makarating na kami sa aming kotse. This is weird, first time n'ya akong utusan na ako yung magdrive.
Siya kasi lagi ang nag-iinsist na siya na raw ang mag-dridrive eh. "O-okay, I'll drive." Teka, bakit parang kinakabahan ako?
Pumasok na kami sa kotse at binuksan ko ang makina. In-adjust ko ang upuan para maabot ang manibela bago simulan na paandarin ang sasakyan.
Hindi rin nagtagal ay nakalabas na kami ng gate ng school. I can feel her stares from the edge and it's sending a lot of chills down my spine.
"Stop staring, hindi ako maka-drive ng maayos." Masungit kong saad at sinamaan siya ng tingin.
Napa-singhap ako ng malakas nang maramdaman ang kamay nito na pumatong sa aking hita. Marahas niya rin itong pinipisil-pisil.
Mabuti nalang at nag-stop ang stoplight kaya kinuha ko na ang pagkakataon na pumikit at damdamin ang ginagawa niyang pagpipisil.
"C-Cypress... ano ba." I said and weakly gazed at her. "Nag-mamaneho ako, nanghihina ako sa mga ginagawa mo."
"You made me so damn mad a while ago." She raised her head to look at me. Her eyes screams rage and desire, meaning she can claim and punish me in a pleasuring way, right here, right now.
"You hugged her right in front of me. Really?" Naiinis niyang sambit, ang pagpipisil niya sa aking hita ay lalong humihigpit.
Ako lang ata yung taong nasasarapan pag kinukurot ang hita.
"I'm sorry, kala ko okay lang sa'yo na yakapin siya— oh fuck." Bago ko pa mapigilan ang dinedemenyo niyang kamay ay napasok na niya ito sa loob ng suot kong skirt.
"C-Cypress, f-fuck, w-wag ngayon." Hindi ko mapigilan na umungol when she pressed her fingers hardly onto my clit.
Her other free hand caressed my torso as she removed her seatbelt to lean herself to reach my neck, kissing and sucking it at the same time.
Hindi naman kalayuan ang agwat namin sa isa't isa dahil maunti lamang ang pagitan kaya hindi na rin siya mahihirapan na angkinin ako ngayon.
"V-Varsha f-fuck." Humigpit ang hawak ko sa manibela. Five seconds nalang ay kailangan na namin humarurut ngunit hindi ko ata magagawa 'yon kung patuloy pa rin siya sa ginagawa niya.
"Kitang kita tayo—"
"What do you mean? Our cars are heavy tinted. Hindi nila tayo makikita." She said. Her hot breath blew around my ear and neck as her hand from the inside of my shirt is starting to go upwards.
Bibigay na sana ako ngunit narinig ko ang mga taong nagrereklamo at bumubusina sa likod.
Agad kong yinapakan ng malakas ang gas gamit ang aking paa habang malalalalim ang aking pag-hinga. Si Cypress ay patuloy pa rin na hinihimok ang buo kong katawan hanggang yung isang kamay niya ay nakaabot na sa aking dibdib.
I whimpered when she squeezed my breast. Her fingers from the inside of my shorts were now suddenly inside my undies in a matter of seconds.
"C-Cypress, ahhh....shit, baka mabangga tayo." She softly rubs my clit while squeezing my right breast as her dominant side slowly awakens. Her lips are busy sending butterfly kisses around my neck to my collarbone.
"Mhmm, you smell so good."
"Ohhh...ahh...fuck!!!" I moaned when she expertly entered her two long fingers inside me and started to thrust real hard.
I parked our car somewhere because I knew that I might bump into someone's car if I continue to drive. "Shit, fuck... ahhh." I closed my eyes but instantly opened it when she all of a sudden removed her fingers inside of me and stopped what she's doing.
"Pot- tangina." Naiinis kong usal at sinamaan ito ng tingin. Nabitin ako do'n! "Varsha, nakaka-bwiset ka! Tumigil pa ako sa pag-mamaneho gawa mo!!!"
She innocently smiled and leaned forward to claim my lips, she bit it, taking it as a chance to enter her tongue inside, roaming it on the every corners of my mouth.
"Do you want me to continue?" She asked while chuckling ngunit halata pa rin sa boses niya ang galit na tila sinasadya niya na asarin ako dahil nainis siya sa ginawa ko kanina.
"Grabeng punishment 'to, sobrang sakit ng puson ko!" Hinawakan ko ang t'yan ko at nagmamakaawang tumingin sa girlfriend ko na walang ginawa kundi ngumisi nalang ng ngumisi.
Cypress adjusted her chair at sumandal. She tapped her lap, commanding me to sit on it. Lalo lamang akong namula nang naka-taas ang dalawang daliri nito na nasa ibabaw ng kandungam niya.
She smirked widely and winked at me.
"Ride me." she said while tapping her lap.
Medjo nag-hesitate pa ako dahil nasa kotse kami ngayon, ang malala pa ay nasa daan kung saan maraming tao ang naglalakbay ngunit wala rin naman dapat akong ipag-alala dahil madilim ang aming tint.
"Ride me, baby, let mommy pleasure you."
Kung ito rin naman ang kakalabasan ng galit niya ay okay lang ba na galitin ko siya araw-araw?
Hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras at hinubad ang suot kong skirt and undies. Tinanggal ko ang aking seatbelt at humakbang patungo kay Cypress at walang pasundalang umupo at pinasok ang kanyang mga daliri sa aking lagusan na nakapatong ngayon sa kanyang kandungan.
"S-shit f-fuck." Napapikit ako dahil sa sakit at sarap, humigpit ang hawak ko sa kanyang balikat at feeling ko ay bumaon ang mga daliri ko doon.
Hindi pa nakakatagal ay naalis na kaagad ni Cypress ang bra ko, hindi ko nga alam na nai-pasok niya na pala ang kamay sa loob ng shirt ko.
"Move." She commanded. Sinunod ko ito kaagad and started to move my hips, slowly, up and down. I unconsciously raised my arm so Varsha can remove my remaining clothes.
Now, I'm completely naked.
"Ahhh...V-Varsha...." I can't help myself but kiss her lips and continued to move my hips in unison. She kissed me back as I groaned when she squeezed my butt.
Her lips went down to my jaw, to my ear and to my neck, applying love marks on every corner of my visible body.
"We've done this multiple times yet you're still so fucking tight." Sabi niya at nang-gigil nang marahas niyang pinisil ang dibdib ko at mas lalong sinagad ang daliri niya sa loob ko.
"Ahhhh...ohhh...god!" Tila puro ungol nalang ang naririnig sa bawat sulok ng kotse at hindi ko na alam kung ano ang nangyayari dahil ang aking bibig ay naka-awang at ang aking mga mata ay nakapikit dahil hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman kong sarap.
'm facing the ceiling of the car because I don't know where to turn my head. Her fingers are moving swiftly inside me and all I can do is moan her name.
"God, I really love the way my fingers are making in contact with your flesh."
Mas lalong binilisan ni Cypress ang galaw niya. Walang awang nilabas-masok niya ang kanyang mga daliri sa loob ko kaya wala na rin akong mailabas na salita kundi ungol at pagsigaw ng kanyang magandang pangalan.
"Look at me." Using her other hand, she held my jaw and turned it to meet her gaze. "You like this?"
Mas lalong niyang binilisan at wala na akong masabi nang bigla nitong sunggaban ang dibdib ko. Nararamdaman ko na yung pamumuo sa tiyan ko.
"Oh...please...b-bilisan m-mo pa! I'm near— shit! Varsha!" Yunakap ako sa leeg niya at lalong binilisan na rin ang paggalaw ng aking balakang para masabayan ang kahanga-hanga niyang kabilisan.
She removed her hand from my breast and made its way towards my pearl. She put her mouth on my left bosom and starts to suck real hard while playing with my throbbing clit.
"Oh fuck! I'm near!!!"
Lalong dumalas ang kanyang kilos. "Cum in my fingers, Alessandra, I won't mind." She pressed her lips against mine and didn't stop until I came, finally.
"Ako na ang mag-dridrive. Pahinga ka na." Sabi niya at hinalikan ang noo ko. Kinuha niya ang mga damit sa lapag at sinuot ito sa'kin. Kumuha rin siya ng wipes sa storage at pinunas ito sa pagkababae ko.
"Napagod ba kita? Sabi ko sa'yo lagot ka sa'kin eh— aray!" Sinampal ko ito sa braso.
"Rest na ikaw, mahal, I don't regret what I've done tho." She winked at me at dahan-dahan akong hiniga sa upuan habang siya naman ay lumipat sa driver's seat.
Lord, malaking kasalanan po ba ang yumakap ng ibang tao? Wala pa ngang one second eh...
~~~^^^~~~^^^~~~^^^~~~
Narito ako ngayon sa kwarto. Mag-reresearch sana ako about doon sa sinabi ni Selene na Hilton University pero heto ako ngayon, kausap si miss Kyla.
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
Lagot ka ma'am. Isa kang guro pero
nag-cucutting classes ka, babawasan
daw sweldo moo!!! 😂😂😂
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
Lagot lagot lagot.
Miss Annoying Suarez:
Grabe ka sa'kin ha.
Miss Annoying Suarez:
Kahit pa bawasan ng jowa mo
ang sweldo ko, marami pa rin akong
pera!
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
Sige nga ma'am. May paparating po akong
shopee, kayo po ang magbayad.
Miss Annoying Suarez:
O'sige, hahaha.
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
Uto-uto 👍
Miss Annoying Suarez:
huh?
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
😊
Miss Annoying Suarez:
Hahaha, I'm so happy, nagbago
na talaga si sweetie.
Miss Annoying Suarez:
I'm aware that you don't have any idea
why I'm acting this way, right?
Alessandra Kamukha ng ate niya:
What did my sister do again?
Habang nag-iintay sa kanyang reply ay saktong may nag pop up na notification galing kay kuya Seth kaya kaagyat ko yun pinindot.
Seth Zeus Alvarez:
SHE SAID YES!!! :)
Alessandra Marquez:
Po?
Seth Zeus Alvarez:
Your sister, she said yes! She's
now my fiancé!!! ❤️
Alessandra Marquez:
Legit po ba? True ba yan?
Seth Zeus Alvarez:
Bakit parang hindi ka naniniwala? Yes,
of course! Sa pogi kong 'to, hindi ako sasagutin
ng ate mo? hahahaha.
Alessandra Marquez:
Ang lakas ng ihip ng hangin.
Alessandra Marquez:
Joke lang po, hahaha.
Alessandra Marquez:
Congratulations kuya Seth!!!
I don't know what to feel, what to react, it's not that I'm opposed to the idea of kuya Seth marrying my ate Alex, but of course; iniisip ko rin si Miss Kyla na matagal nang minamahal yung kapatid ko.
But kidding aside, I will choose my sister's happiness. Kung ano ang gusto niya o kung ano ang kasiyahan niya ay doon na rin ako.
I don't know why but I badly want her to be happy.
While waiting for the two people's reply, a random number suddenly popped up on my screen. My brows wrinkled as I read that familiar number who texted me.
+639005671893
+639005671893:
My, my, three weeks has passed
yet you still haven't texted me :(
+639005671893:
Ayaw mo ba malaman ang katotohanan?
My eyes widened in horror as my lips and hands are began to tremble. My fear is increasing once again. How did they know my number? How did they know na nabuksan ko na yung letter?
+634289012376
Fuck off.
+639005671893:
Getting feisty, huh.
+639005671893:
Ayaw mo ba talagang malaman
kung nasaan ang puntod na tinatago
nila sa iyo?
+639005671893:
How about your mother? Wala
ka bang clue kung sino siya?
+639005671893:
Some people are such cowards
that they are terrified of being brave.
Hindi ba ikaw 'yon?
+634289012376
Just shut the fuck up! Tangina,
lubayan mo na ako!!!
+634289012376
I have no desire to engage in a business
or speak with you! I have no plans to
know the truth if you are
a threat to my family!
+639005671893:
Oh? Are you sure that I'm
really the threat? Remember, I'm just
helping you.
+639005671893:
I feel bad, marami na silang tinago at
hindi sinasabi sa'yo, sigurado ka ba na
ang lahat ng ginagawa nila ay ikaka-
buti mo? :(
+639005671893:
Haha, your love for Zenebe is astounding,
you can't even see her lies behind that beautiful
words because you love her that much.
+639005671893:
Ilang beses ka na rin tinaboy, ginamit, at
tinago ni Alexandra pero heto ka pa rin
ngayon, uhaw na uhaw sa kanyang
atensyon kahit hindi mo alam ang mga
masasama niyang ginawa.
+639005671893:
They've been lying to you all this time. So,
tell me, Alessandra, who's the real threat? Your
loved ones? Or me?
My breath caught my throat as I read the messages they sent. I feel like I wasn't safe in my own mind. It seems like doubt had married my fear and moved into my subconscious mind, where it established castles, ruled entire countries, and ruled over me.
+639005671893:
You wanna visit Hilton University, right?
Nahagis ko ang cellphone ko nang di oras at napahawak ng marahas sa aking ulo. Naiiyak na ako sa takot at kaba. Paano nalaman ng taong 'to na gusto kong pumunta do'n?
I covered my face with my palm and released a sob. I can't resist it anymore. Hirap na hirap na ako.
+634289012376
What? Paano mo nalaman?
+639005671893:
You guys are so stupid na hindi
niyo manlang napansin na may
taong nanonood sa labas.
May taong nanonood sa labas? Wala manlang bang nakapansin kahit bukas naman ang pinto dahil sinira ito ni Varsha?
+639005671893:
Well, it doesn't matter.
+639005671893:
What I want you to do is
to visit your grave and you will
find the answers you were longing for.
+639005671893:
**** cemetery, **** city
I gasped.
Hindi ako nagkakamali, dito rin nilibing ang kuya ko.
It's my choice to go or not, it's my choice to find the truth or remain hiding behind the shadows of lies. It's not that I'm afraid to disagree with this person's idea....
I was just reduced to the status of a subservient person who was too afraid to dissent or disobey.
I will go.
But before that, I need someone to help me find out the truth. I need a person who doesn't have any links and relation about my past.
Isa lang ang kilala ko.
I changed my tabs and switched to my contacts to call a certain person and while clicking the button; a new notification showed up again.
Napapikit ako nang makita ko ito ngunit hindi ko nalang din binigyan ng pansin. Nilagay ko ang cellphone sa tenga ko at iniintay na sumagot ang kabilang linya.
"Hello? Alessandra? Bakit ka napatawag?"
Bago pa ako makasagot ay may nag-notif na naman galing sa taong kinakatakutan ko. Ang kanyang ngayong mensahe ay ang nagpatigil ng aking buong sistema at paligid.
Tila wala na akong mailabas na salita. Lumunok ako ngunit parang may nakabara sa aking lalamunan. Dali dali akong tumakbo patungo sa bintana.
+639005671893:
Subukan mong magsumbong.
I'm just outside of your gate :)
Hawak ko pa rin yung cellphone ko. "Alessandra? Hey? Why? Bakit ka napatawag? Need mo ba ate mo? Kasama ko siya right now."
"Please lower your voice. Hwag niyo pong i-speaker. Don't tell ate Alex that I called you." I said with my lips quivering, restraining myself to tremble my voice when I saw a white car parked outside the gate of our mansion.
The tint is so dark that I can't see the person inside.
"Alessandra? Why? Nag-aalala ako, bakit?"
"Kuya Seth, I need your help."