The next morning, I wake in my bed in Tetoa. My eyes open slowly, threatening to droop once more as my body stirs, but judging by the streams of sunlight filtering through the window, I can already tell I've overslept.
I sit up and stretch. The scent of fresh-cooked eggs floods through the household. Across from me, Kiana's bed is already neatly made, and in the distance, I can hear a lively discussion over the breakfast I assume Taika has cooked up. While the morning appears all but normal, once I let out a loud yawn, I am reminded again of what kept me up the evening before.
My mother's plan.
Quickly, anger fills my veins again. I carefully take my time making my bed and dressing for the day, knowing that as soon as I walk out of the bedroom, I'll need to maintain a calm composure. I briefly glance at myself in the mirror, ignoring the bags under my eyes, and take a few deep breaths before I join the others in the kitchen.
My mother, Kiana, and Taika are sitting around the kitchen table, eating morning's breakfast and engaging in normal conversation. They speak nothing of Mama's plan, of course, afraid to be overheard by any soldiers patrolling the neighborhood streets, but it's clear that the excitement in their voices can't stem from anything else.
"You sure slept forever," Kiana observes.
"That is a habit you'll have to get over," my mother says.
Too tired to respond to my mother and sister, I pull out a seat and smile graciously up at Taika as he pushes a fresh plate of eggs toward me. I eat quietly, listening to my mother share her schedule for the day; how she'll be at several meetings, that she'll be back later to discuss more details with us, and that Kiana and I must keep any information related to the plan secretive for now. I nod and give short answers when necessary, but I can't help but grip onto the edge of the table, trying to release my frustration in any way I can.
Finally, I can't bear to be in my family's presence any longer.
"I'm going on a walk," I announce suddenly. My mother and Taika seem startled by my sudden rise from the table, but my mother's expression relaxes.
"Be safe," she says.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Later, I walk steadily down the streets of Tetoa, hoping the fresh air will improve my sour mood. Though the villagers greet me kindly as I pass, and though my walk affords a serene view of the sun's rays dancing on the waters of Tetoa Bay, I can't help but shake my frustration. Meanwhile, I'm sure my mother, Kiana, and Taika must be talking excitedly in my absence about the plans that are about to unfold.
Plans that I barely play a part in.
I shift my direction towards the market, figuring that eating some fresh fruit will give me a few moments of solace before I'll be angrily reminded of what the next months or even years will have in store for me. I quickly locate my favorite fruit stand, situated near the back of the market, where the neighborhood and market streets intersect. An elderly woman named Sira runs the small stand, and though she sells less than her competitors, I find that no other vendor sells fruit as sweet.
"Two melon slices," I say, dropping a few coins into her hand.
As she wraps the melon slices delicately in some paper for me to enjoy, I notice the presence of her husband, whose name I cannot quite recall. He mutters a few words to her in a foreign tongue, which I quickly recognize to be the ancient language of Landiani. I think he is brave to speak it so openly, especially when soldiers patrol the streets, ready to chastise those who speak anything other than Magnuvian. It is a language I will never know since a hundred years of colonization have caused most of the nation to lose its native tongue. My mother supposedly knows a few phrases in Landiani, but Kiana and myself have only ever grown up speaking the same tongue as the Magnuvians, and my only relationship with the ancient language now is the music that my father taught me before he passed.
"Here you are," Sira responds kindly, handing the slices to me.
I thank her once more and walk away, thinking again of Sira's husband. Perhaps I am acting too selfish for not wanting to partake in a plan that could aid this country because I'm unsatisfied with my role. I take a bite of melon, savoring its cool, fresh taste. I am finally beginning to feel more calm, when suddenly an aggravating voice causes my anger to return tenfold.
"Fetia! Funny seeing you here!"
I glance up, easily recognizing Vasa, one of the "most handsome" men in our village by my sister's standards. Unlike Lagi's scrawnier frame, he is much more muscular, and his dark hair that hangs down in waves around his face is somehow shinier as well.
"I come to the market every day," I say, hoping my curt answers will end the conversation quickly. "And I assume you do as well."
"Well, funny that we're both here, in this same spot, of the market today," he answers.
I say nothing in response, watching him struggle to continue the conversation. Finally, he settles on the following.
"You grabbed some melon, I see!"
"Yes, from Sira's booth," I respond. I begin to shove past him. "Now, if you'll excuse me—"
Vasa's hand catches my wrist. "Wait, Fetia."
I turn, briefly making eye contact with him.
"Would you like to—"
"Fetia!"
Palila's familiar voice cuts him off.
I quickly pull away my hand from Vasa's grasp and wave to Palila, who has just turned the corner and is now walking down the street towards me. I walk swiftly over to her, having never been so overjoyed to see her in my life.
"There you are!" I exclaim. "I got that melon you wanted," I say, handing a slice of melon over to her.
She gazes at me, perplexed, but when she sees Vasa behind me, suddenly, she understands.
"Oh! Thank you, Fetia! Should we head off, then?" Palila asks.
I nod eagerly.
"Have a good day," I tell Vasa before I turn away. Once we're a few blocks away, I finally exhale in relief.
"Here's your melon back," Palila says, returning the uneaten slice to me.
"Thanks," I respond, taking a bite of the fruit. "And, thank you, for saving me back there."
"Is he still bothering you?" Palila wonders.
"Unfortunately," I say. I continue munching on my melon and let out a sigh. "I wish he hadn't taken a liking to me. He always manages to interrupt my errands. It'd be better if he liked Kiana instead."
"Why's that?" Palila asks.
I stiffen, knowing I can't tell Palila about Kiana's so-called "former feelings" for Lagi.
"I think she would show him more interest than me, that's all," I grumble. "I don't understand. The rest of his family is quite pleasant. His older sister is quite delightful. But Vasa...honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't been whisked off to the army yet."
"I think he would need a sharper mind for that, unfortunately," Palila answers, smiling weakly. Not used to hearing her talk poorly about anyone, I clutch my side and erupt in laughter. Once I'm done wiping tears from my eyes and compose myself, I smile at her.
"Thank you for that. I needed some laughter today," I respond.
"Of course. Is everything okay?" Palila asks.
Having been friends since we were children, it is impossible to hide my mood from her. While there is so much I'd like to tell her, I've grown up lying to Palila, so I am forced to give her a vague answer instead.
"I'm fighting with my mother again," I admit
"Oh no! What now?" Palila asks.
"Just...her putting Kiana over me again. I don't want to get into all the details," I murmur, knowing full well I am forbidden from doing so.
"Have you tried talking to her?" Palila wonders.
I shake my head.
"Well, that's the first part of your problem, isn't it? You should speak with her, Fetia. So at least you two can have some sort of understanding," Palila says. She rests her hand gently on my shoulder. "Have some patience. I'm sure everything will work out."
"Thank you. Maybe I'll try it," I think.
Mama has never been very rational, and oftentimes my opinions never mattered in the grand scheme of things, but this plan is larger than anything else I've ever done for our family, and now that I am an adult, I wonder if she will take me more seriously.
Palila and I turn a corner, coming full circle in the market again. As I stare out at the ocean, I realize by the sun's position in the sky that I've been out long enough. My mother and Taika will worry if I'm gone much longer.
I turn to Palila. "Thank you for your company this morning. Although it's probably time for me to head home."
"I assumed," Palila responds. She briefly embraces me, and as she pulls apart, she rests both hands on my shoulders. "Let me know how speaking with your mother goes. I'm sure you'll make up soon."
"I hope," I respond.
As we depart, I feel more courageous. Palila's words have inspired me. I make a silent promise to myself – that when I return home, I'll seek out my mother and share my discontent with my role in the plan. I have to trust that she'll listen to what I have to say.
When I arrive back to my home, I knock rhythmically at the door. My heart pounds in anticipation, and I can already feel my palms growing sweaty as I rehearse in my head of what I'll say to my mother. However, when the door opens, it is not my mother, nor even Taika, waiting at the doorframe to greet me, but Kiana. Immediately, my courage shrinks.
"You were gone awhile," Kiana notes. I step out of the harsh sun beating down my back and into the cool living room of my home.
"I ran into Palila," I offer as an excuse. Glancing around our main living room, I see no signs of life. Confused, I turn back to Kiana. "Where is Mama?"
"She and Taika went into town. I'm surprised you didn't run into them on your way back," Kiana explains.
I glance around in disappointment, unsure now what my next move will be. Kiana's next words interrupt my thoughts.
"Why do you want to speak to Mama anyway?" Kiana asks. "You had plenty of time this morning over breakfast."
"I have some concerns about—"
"You shouldn't speak about it here," Kiana interrupts before I can finish my sentence. "Besides, I can't imagine what concerns you'd have. You are at much less at risk than I am. Isn't this what you wanted? To help the country?"
I hold onto one of my arms and glance down at my feet. "Yes, but—"
Kiana's words make my courage shrivel up and vanish. "Mama has worked a long time for this moment. You better not make her upset," Kiana responds. With that, she disappears into our shared bedroom, leaving me to contemplate her words.
I take a comfortable seat on one of the cushions of our living room, trying not to let Kiana's words taint my thoughts despite the guilt they make me feel. I consider leaving behind the idea of bringing up my concerns to my mother entirely, but then I think of Palila's kind words and the determination I felt only minutes before. I won't let resolve die just yet. So I wait, counting seconds, then minutes, until finally, more knocking signals my mother and Taika's arrival home.
I quickly rush to the door to greet them. When I open the door, Taika is carrying a large basket of goods from the market, while my mother enters behind him, looking deep in thought.
"Welcome back," I say, moving out of the way to let them pass.
"You're home now," Taika notes. "Did you have a nice walk?"
"I did," I answer.
My mother joins Taika at the kitchen to help unload his basket. "I think we should have the flounder tonight," she says, to which he nods and sets aside the fresh fish for later.
Meanwhile, I linger, building up the courage to speak. Before I can even conjure what words to say, my mother notices my presence and turns to me.
"Is everything all right, Fetia?"
"Mama, please, I'd like to talk to you," I urge. "I've had some time to think, and—"
"Hush!" my mother says, shushing me in the same tone Kiana did earlier. "Don't bring anything up here."
"But, Mama, it's important!" I argue, my voice rising in frustration.
"Fine," she says, annoyance in her tone. "Get changed into some new clothes. We'll head into the jungle."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The day prior, I moved through the Landiani Jungle alongside Kiana in excitement as I considered the plan my mother would soon share. Today, however, it is only my mother and myself, and we both walk quietly, refusing to say a word to each other. The journey is exhausting the second day in a row, especially when I am even more anxious to speak to my mother today then I was the day before. After a long while of navigating through dense foliage and swatting away bothersome insects, we at least reach the hut and stealthily sneak inside. My mother does a thorough inspection of all the doors and windows, then turns to me and sighs.
"What can be so important that we needed to come out here to speak?" she asks.
"Mama, I'm thankful for the opportunity to be a part of the plan, truly, but I thought you had more faith in me," I state honestly. My limbs are shaking from the confrontation, but I owe it to be honest with her.
"Why would I not have faith in you?" she asks, seemingly shocked by my words.
"Mama, Esterpool? Of all places? Princess Asteria is barely a threat to us," I argue. "If what I learned from school is true, King Ruben stripped her inheritance to the throne on account of her being too weak to rule and then sent her far away from Magewell. She is barely a member of the royal family."
"Fetia—" My mother tries to interject, but suddenly all the words I've had bundled up inside me begin spilling out as fast as the currents of the Landiani River.
"I've been training just as long as Kiana. I know she's more skilled than me, but I've worked hard, so hard. I could have easily joined the Magnuvian army and been stationed in Magewell. But instead, I'm going to be a maid? Mama, don't you understand how frustrating that is for me?" I ask, blinking back tears in my eyes.
"Oh, Fetia," my mother says. She holds out her arms in an embrace. Though angered only moments before, the promise of a gentle embrace from my mother is enticing, so I easily fall into her arms. Quietly, she strokes my long, wavy hair and plants a gentle kiss on my head.
"I should have explained the plan better," she says. "You have just as important of a role as Kiana."
"How?" I ask, pulling apart to look at her through my tear-soaked eyes. "I'm nowhere even close to Magewell. I'll be far removed from the rest of the royal family. How can I possibly be of any use?"
"But don't you see, Fetia? You'll be of more use than any of us. Perhaps Asteria isn't first in line to the throne anymore, but she is still second for the time being. As one of her maids, you'll be in much closer contact with her than Kiana will be with the king and prince. I think that gaining trust from the princess and gathering information from her will be extremely important to the plan," my mother argues.
Her words make sense logically, and yet, I still can't shake the frustration inside of me.
"But I want to be in Magewell. With Kiana. I feel like all my life I've trained for that," I argue.
"Are you only saying that because you do not want to be separated from your sister?" my mother asks.
I ponder her words for a moment. It is true that Kiana and I have never been separated before. It is a pain I still have not processed. My mother must take my silence to mean truth because she squeezes my hand and continues her speech.
"It is true that you will be in Esterpool for most of the mission, but I have a special task for you," she says.
"You've already said it. Gaining the trust of the princess," I repeat methodically.
"Yes, but...I imagine Asteria will give you particularly valuable information about her brother, Prince Stephan. Once all the pieces fall into place, I'd like you to have the honor of killing the prince."
Immediately, I perk up. "Really?"
"Yes, Fetia, but to do that, I need you to do your best in your mission in Esterpool. Do you understand?"
"Yes," I state, suddenly more eager. "Yes, I understand."
My mother hugs me tightly to her body once more. "I know you can do it," she says. Her thumb gently brushes the remaining tears from my cheek before she unwraps her arms from me. "It's settled, then. Shall we head back?"
I nod, though as I gain my bearings and prepare to head out once more into the jungle, a thought crosses my mind.
"But, Mama, if I'm going to be killing Prince Stephan, who will take care of the princess?" I ask.
"I haven't decided yet," my mother responds. "Taika, or maybe an ally. These are questions for later, Fetia. It has been a long day for the both of us. Let's head home."
As we depart the hut once more, I leave in greater spirits. Hearing my mother's confidence in me has inspired me to dedicate myself to mission again. No longer does it make sense for me to mope around, feeling sorry for myself. Still, as I walk alongside my mother, this time chatting more gently and freely with her, I cannot shake the uneasy feeling in my stomach.