"I did something... wrong, Laina." He said as we walked down the familiar alleyway to his apartment. I stopped, taken aback by the ominous sentence. "What is it, Cheng?" I asked him.
"I really, really like you, and I didn't think I'd like you this much before. If I had known how much I would, maybe I wouldn't of." I furrowed my brows, perplexed by this strange confession.
"What are you saying? I don't understand." I asked. There was this look on his face, a look of pure guilt. I became worried.
"Yua, I-" He stopped, realising what he had done. My eyes widened in shock.
"What did you just call me?" I asked, frozen. How did he know?
"I... called you by your name Yua. I sold you out to the Dai Li." My stomach dropped, dropped in hurt, disbelief, but most of all, in fear. I backed away from him, this boy I had liked became some scary stranger in a split second.
He reached out for me, but I swatted him away as if I never knew his touch. "You're lying. You have to be." I tried to convince myself in delusion. He looked at me so guilty. He knew there was no coming back from it.
"I had to. My parents aren't dead, they are imprisoned. They knew your secret, and they told me. The fire nation doesn't know they know, but the Earth Kingdom does. They refuse to tell the Dai Li, but I'm willing to if it will set them free. I told the Dai Li that I knew, and they made me work for them. I told them who you were, when you got banished and when you arrived here. Then they sent me out to gain your trust." I was practically backed up against the wall, trying to escape this horrific news.
"I trusted you. How could you? And I thought finally there was someone who actually liked me. It was all fake the whole time? I'm an idiot." I practically screamed out, hurt beyond words.
"I didn't want to, truly, but they're my parents Yua, you have to understand." He pleaded, trying to give a reason for his wrongs.
"Stop calling me by that name! There is no Yua, not in this city, at least. I'm leaving, don't even say goodbye." I spat out. His eyes were watering, the glisten picking up in the moonlight. How he had the balls to cry, I didn't know. This was all his doing.
"I should never have told you." I cried out.
A voice cut through the night like a knife. "Yes, you probably shouldn't have." The hairs stood up on the back of my neck as a chill sent down my spine. I turned to see a silhouette shrouded by darkness. Long sleeves, long robes, and his arms tucked behind his back. He stepped into the light.
Long Feng.
"We meet again, little thief, except under different circumstances, Yua." He echoed out like my name was a bad omen. I reached for the dagger in my waistband but couldn't feel the familiar cool touch of the hilt. It was gone. He had taken it whilst we were walking, I was sure of it.
I shifted my foot out and felt the earth beneath my feet. It was moulded and ready to move. I channelled the earth's pulsating energy into my feet and up into my core. I used my weight to lean forward and lock Long Feng into the ground by his ankles. Cheng attempted to use his Dai Li cuffs to restrain me, but I ripped a piece off the wall with my bare hands and hurled it at him, flexing my wrists to keep him down.
But the Dai Li were very good at hiding in the shadows. A pair of cuffs latched around my wrists, taking me back by surprise. Someone grabbed me from behind. I smacked my head up into his nose, causing him to let go, but it was no use. Another agent jumped out from the rooftops and held me down, my struggling futile. Cheng broke the rock that secured him to the wall, Long Feng getting out of my binds ages ago. I kicked and screamed and bit, drawing blood from his hands, but he stood still as a rock.
I looked at Cheng with pure hatred.
"I will never forget this," I said, looking him dead in the eyes, anything I had once felt evaporating from my body. He backed away and ran, running away from his betrayal. I turned away from the direction he left, facing Long Feng.
"Are you going to kill me now?" I asked, looking up at the man. He smiled sinisterly.
"That's what the Earth Kingdom would have us do, but I believe Ba Sing Se is different. I believe we can use your rare qualities to our advantage."
The dream muddled into something else that wasn't a memory, but it was vivid enough. I watched the sea out the window lazily direct us, the sky beautifully clear. I had been thinking about the dream all morning. It never failed to anger me, consume me with hatred for that man.
I couldn't help but feel like the most naive girl in the world. Like I was such an idiot. I wasn't, I was just young and had a target on my back. And to think, it really was only three years ago. But lots had changed, I had changed. 6 months travelling the Earth kingdom, 6 in Ba Sing Se, a year training with the Dai Li, and another year rotating through the ships of the Fire Nation, the same boring work.
Until I joined Prince Zuko, I thought.
I looked at the reports, the folder getting heavier and heavier with each sighting of the Avatar. I had sent out my letter to the Dai Li, and it left me feeling guilty. I signed off on the folder, my ink having splattered a bit over the table in my daydreaming.
I heard harsh voices outside, sounding like they were locked in a tense argument. I got up and opened the door, looking out onto the entirety of the ship.
"The safety of the crew doesn't matter!" I heard Zuko's unmistakable voice, the metal carrying it across to the control room. I trotted down the stairs, walking over to observe the argument. Liteunant Jee looked at Zuko with disdain. I observed from a safe distance.
Zuko walked to Jee with determination and conviction. He looked him right in the eyes, not leaving much room between them.
"Finding the Avatar is far more important than any individual's safety." The statement cooled the air like he had set something in ice. Did I only realise how determined he was to go back home? Was I delusional in thinking that we had grown close? Would he throw me off the ship if it meant finding the Avatar?
Zuko walked away, and Jee glared at him as he left. Iroh stepped to Jee, trying to assure him, "He doesn't mean that. He's just all worked up," But he didn't sound so sure. Something in the way Iroh was glancing at me made me feel he was also directing the sentence to me. I glanced at Zuko, concerned.
The weather had changed so quickly, one moment, I was writing overviews in the control room, and the next, I had to turn on the lamps because the dark clouds had completely shrouded the sun. I left to walk down and gaze at the looming darkness rolling into the space around us.
"Looks like your uncle was right about the storm after all." Jee jeered at Zuko, rubbing it in his face.
"Luck guess," Iroh pleasantly said. He seemed to make a lot of lucky guesses. Zuko whirled around vigorously and strode over to Jee, pointing a finger at him. "Lieutenant! You'd better learn some respect," He jabbed Jee's chest with his two fingers. "or I will teach it to you." Zuko glared furiously into his soul and then walked away. Jee's eyes followed him.
"What do you know about respect?" Jee asked, the simple sentence sending ripples through the crew in fear. I bit my nails anxiously, scared Zuko was to blow his head off. Iroh made a cutting motion to his neck behind Jee, as worried as I was. Zuko stopped in his tracks.
"The way you talk to everyone around here, from your hard-working crew, the only woman on this ship and perhaps your only friend, to your esteemed uncle, shows you know nothing about respect!" I gasped, shocked at his gall. I also mentally chided him for the woman comment, on this ship, my gender came before anything again.
"You don't care about anyone but yourself! Then again, what should I expect from a spoiled prince?" He ended his rant with dangerous words.
Zuko turned around, and his face could have made blood run cold. He extended his arm as if ready to firebend. Jee did the same, just as aggravated.
"Easy now", Iroh warned, trying to break it off. They locked wrists, and smoke billowed from their palms in grey sheets. Iroh broke them apart, pulling their arms off each other. "Enough! We're all a bit tired from being at sea for so long. I'm sure after a bowl of noodles, everyone will feel much better." Iroh attempted to cool them down with the suggestion of food. Which reminded me I hadn't had breakfast.
Jee stomped away, the crew scattering off in different directions.
"I don't need your help keeping order on my ship." Zuko coldly said to Iroh. Iroh placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off, charging away. I ran after him, tapping him on the shoulder. He didn't even drop his glare when he saw me. The little child in me felt the need to cower.
"Are you ok?" I asked sincerely.
"Of course I'm fine, I just need to capture the Avatar." He said it like it was an automated response.
"I just want you to know that I don't think about you in that way." I tried to comfort and assure him.
"You don't think about me in any way, do you?" He retorted defiantly. The comment took me aback.
"Zuko? What do you mean by that?" I asked, in genuine confusion.
"You know what I mean", He charged away, leaving me on the deck. I ran my fingers through my hair, perplexed. I seriously didn't know what he meant. I sighed and walked to the galley for a bowl of noodles. I thought I would be alone, but a small group of men, including Jee, sat around a fire. I grabbed my bowl and attempted to leave, but Jee called me over.
I swivelled around, smiling through gritted teeth. I didn't want to sit down, but I also didn't want to be marked as impolite if I ran away.
"Laina, aren't you tired of how Zuko treats us? Treats you?" He posed the question, and it made me think. At the beginning of this job, Zuko acted like I was the dirt on his shoe, that he had no care for me. But he had stepped in for me so many times, saved me, comforted me, that my views had kind of changed. But today, he acted like I said something wrong. I sat down with them, shrugging.
"I'm sick of taking his orders! I'm tired of chasing his Avatar! I mean, who does Zuko think he is?" Jee blurted out, sounding exhausted. I just stared at the fire.
"Do you really want to know?" A voice cut through the crackling of the fire. We all stared up in surprise at Iroh standing on the upper ledge of the galley. Jee stood up at the sound of Iroh's voice.
"General Iroh. We were just–"
Iroh cut him off. "It's okay. May I join you?" Jee nodded aggressively, "Of course, sir."
Iroh came and sat down, massaging his beard thoughtfully. "Try to understand. My nephew is a complicated young man. He has been through much."
Iroh described the scene thoroughly for the crew and for me, but I didn't need the explanation, I knew what happened. It was all coming back to me in waves, giant waves. He explained what had transpired in the war chamber, of the sick plan to send out untrained troops as live bait to distract the Earth kingdom troops and then send in the 'real' army to ambush the enemy.
Zuko, being young, naive, but right, spoke out against this plan in outrage. Iroh highlighted although Zuko spoke out against the War Generals plan, it was in the presence of the Fire Lord, and that was direct defiance. That's how it was in the Fire Nation. I had never really spoken to Fire Lord Ozai directly, his orders were always passed down to the ears of officials, then commanded to me by them.
But I spoke to him only once before Zuko's Agni Kai. He had asked to speak to me one day when I was only five. Initially, when I was given up for adoption, no one had know that my mother was from the Earth Kingdom, only that my father was from the Fire Nation. Like all babies, they didn't know if I could bend, let alone that I was a dual bender. Signs of bending, especially with Firebending, usually appeared at the age of two. I was the standard baby and showed signs at two. But when my adoptive family saw me easily lift a very heavy rock off the ground in our garden at the age of three, they started to worry. I think they wanted to ignore the warning signs, but by the age of four, the earth was bending and levitating to my will.
Without hesitation, my "parents" gave me up to the police the minute they could confirm that I was a dual bender. From my understanding, my parents were happy to be rid of me, sure the Fire Nation would execute me on the spot, like all the other dual benders, and they wouldn't have to pretend to remotely like me.
But I wasn't executed. It had been 100 years since an Earth and Fire bender was born within the Fire Nation. When at war with the Earth Kingdom, the largest and still unconquered nation, there was something the Fire Nation could not break; their defence. And what gave them their defence was their bending.
When they had handed me over to the law, a war general happened to be in the room that day. He was smart, the same one Zuko spoke out against, actually. He saw the opportunity that I held. Why throw away something that could be used as a tool? A soldier, an assassin, a spy that could be used against the Earth Kingdom because it didn't just have Firebending, but Earth bending too. Hell, if I were him, I would have done the same thing.
Too bad I wasn't.
They took me to the Fire Lord and told me to bend fire. I lit a flame in my palm. Then they told me to bend the Earth. I was stumped for a little while, and the Fire Lord grew impatient. Finally, after a slap to my cheek, I ripped a chunk of one of the largest and heaviest pillars in the room and slammed it at the wall.
I remember the smile, barely noticeable in the dimly lit room, that Ozai had on his face. He saw a weapon, I saw something I deeply feared; his presence. Thinking of his rage and wrath still gave me chills. I was trained from then on, only catching intimidating glimpses of the Fire Lord.
"Zuko was right, you see, but it was not his place to speak out. And there were dire consequences." Iroh voiced, a sudden gloom filling the room. "After Zuko's outburst in the meeting, the Fire Lord became very angry with him. He said the challenge against the general was an act of complete disrespect! And there was only one way to resolve this." What Iroh had implied was obvious.
"Agni Kai. A fire duel." Jee said in realisation.
"That's right," Iroh affirmed. "Zuko looked upon the old general he had insulted and declared that he was not afraid. But Zuko misunderstood. When he turned to face his opponent, he was surprised to see it was not the general. Zuko had spoken out against the general's plan, but by doing so in the Fire Lord's war room, it was the Fire Lord whom he had disrespected. Zuko would have to duel his own father."
The circle's jaws could have dropped, the horror of it was unthinkable.
"When Prince Zuko saw that it was his father who had come to duel him, he begged for mercy," Iroh told sadness in his eyes. He described the scene in detail, from the begging to the burning.
"I looked away," Iroh admitted in a solemn tone. I didn't look away, I watched in horror. A bubbling of sick wanted to escape my stomach when I saw the skin begin to melt from his face and bubble on the ground.
"I always thought that Prince Zuko was in a training accident." Jee echoed out, a new air to him regarding Zuko.
"It was no accident. After the duel, the Fire Lord said that by refusing to fight, Zuko had shown shameful weakness. As punishment, he was banished and sent to capture the Avatar. Only then could he return with his honour." Iroh explained.
"So that's why he's so obsessed. Capturing the Avatar is the only chance he has of things returning to normal."
Normal? There is no normal after being severely scarred by your own blood.
"Things will never return to normal. But the important thing is the Avatar gives Zuko hope." Iroh had voiced my exact thought, and it made me feel as if he knew what I was thinking.
Iroh stopped speaking, and it appeared as if he wasn't going to start again. The story for me didn't finish there. I could see Iroh glancing at me as if he knew I was going to say something.
"You didn't mention the part about the girl" The group stopped slurping on their noodles to look at me.
"I didn't know you knew about the girl", Iroh observed perceptively. I perked up, forgetting that the crew hadn't known Zuko's story, so why would I have? I said what I said, and there was no taking it back, so I just had to keep going.
"Oh, I heard about it through the grapevine." When it came to telling white lies, I wasn't the best.
"Who's the girl?" Jee asked inquisitively. I smiled nervously.
"Oh, you know what it doesn't matter, how about these noodles huh?" I waved the bowl of the fire, burning my hand, hissing harshly, and causing me to place the bowl down hastily. I laughed awkwardly, and the circle stared at me, still interested.
"Ok then... It was a noble girl, the same age as Zuko–uh, Prince Zuko. She was very close friends with his younger sister, Azula. She was at the Agni Kai, and it was rumoured that Fire Lord Ozai wasn't finished teaching his lesson. She ran up onto the stage and begged him to stop. Fire Lord Ozai said he would, on the condition that she took his punishment instead and he burnt her back. The strange thing is, 3 days later, she was banished from the Fire Nation, told to never return, and if she did, she would be executed on sight." I finished, the group's minds running.
"But why was she banished?" Jee asked.
"No one knows except the Fire Lord and his court, who never let it slip." Iroh knew, of course, he had to, but I was certain he wouldn't tell; not out of the fear of being punished for it, but out of the protection for the girl.
"I wonder where she is now," Iroh said vaguely, glancing at me. I looked away, pretending to be encapsulated by the steel on the back wall.
"Wait, so you knew about Prince Zuko's... story all along?" I perked my head up and back to the group at the sound of Jee's voice cutting through the quiet crackles of the fire.
"Of course, why else would I hang around him so much?" I said, smiling. Jee nodded.
"So that's why you tolerate him so much," Said one of the crew members. I laughed, and they all looked at me, confused.
"Tolerate? Believe it or not, I actually enjoy Zuko's company, he is my friend. Perhaps if you weren't all focusing on his faults, you'd see his strengths. Excuse me." I picked up my bowl and bowed, taking my leave. I dropped the bowl of at the washing station and went out onto the deck, which was a mistake as it was completely bucketing down. I ran to the crew's quarters to rest. With the storm going on, there was no conceivable tracking I could do.
I was fixing a piece of loose thread on my shirt when a loud bang struck the ship, throwing me to the side of my bed and smacking my shoulder into the wall. I heard shouts coming from the deck and rushed out of my room to investigate.
Zuko, Jee, Iroh and other members of the crew were out on deck. It was bucketing down, and the ship was rocking back and forth violently in the harsh waves.
"Where were we hit?" Zuko shouted out through the thunder and rain.
"I don't know!" Jee shouted back.
"Look!" Said Iroh, pointing at the Helmsan's tower. It had been hit and was smoking. Zuko and Jee immediately ran over to climb the ladder, catching the Helmsman who was about to fall. They safely climbed back down. I felt my hair begin to stand up on my head, and I knew the air around us was charged. I looked at the sky as a bolt of lightning came soaring down so fast that I couldn't even blink before it hit Iroh. I gasped, but he moved his palms inwards and out, following his chi path and redirecting the lightning right out of it.
I watched in utter shock at the sight, never having seen it done before. I looked to the sky and spotted the Avatar's bison. No doubt Zuko had spotted it too.
"The avatar!" Zuko shouted out.
"What do you want to do, sir?" Jee asked.
A moment of conflict passed on his face, but then he made his decision. "Let him go. We need to get this ship to safety."
I smiled, proud of this seemingly small step, but in reality, it was a large one. He was showing the crew who he could be.
"Then we must head into the eye of the storm," Iroh said definitively. I gripped the side of the ship as we dangerously sailed over the choppy waters, waves spilling over the rails and flooding the ship. As we got closer to the eye of the storm, the rain slowed and lessened, the waves calming gradually.
Soon we were in a spot of sunshine, dark grey clouds fizzling out into the distance. I wrung my hair out and attempted to shake some water out of my boots. Zuko and Iroh exchanged some words before Zuko came over to me.
"Zuko, you did a good thing today," I said, smiling slightly.
"I'm sorry." He said to me, which caught me by surprise.
"You're what?" I said a slight laugh in my voice. He glared at me, probably not wanting to repeat it.
"You heard me." He said, aggravated.
"Yeah, I did, but what are you sorry for?" I asked. He looked to the side.
"What I said to you earlier, it was wrong." He admitted to my surprise. I sighed in relief.
"I still don't know what you meant by it, though," I said. He turned slightly red and waved his hand.
"It doesn't matter now." He vaguely answered. I crossed my arms, but he wasn't going to budge. We looked out at the sky as the clouds began to clear, showing a vibrant blue sky with pure white clouds. The ship was safe, and that was what mattered.