Wanda woke up with a start in the middle of the night, she brought her hand up to her face and wiped her sweaty brow. She was soaked and drenched in sweat. Wanda took some deep breaths as she tried to stop herself from hyperventilating. She closed her eyes to centre herself, she gripped her hands roughly into the bedspread. Wanda couldn’t even remember what nightmare had woken her up, she just remembered the feeling. That dark feeling in the pit of her stomach that made it hard to breath, it just hurt. Like someone had yanked an important organ from her body. It took her a moment to realise she was crying. She used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears. Wanda was annoyed at herself, why was she crying? She wasn’t in actual pain; her limbs were fine. She wasn’t bruised, she wasn’t broken. Wanda dug her fingernails further into the duvet, as she got increasingly annoyed with herself. Pathetic, she was pathetic. No that wasn’t the right
w
ord, pitiful? Deplorable? Feeble?
The self loathing filled her every essence. She looked down at her hand gripping the bedding and realised her hand was glowing red. She got out of the bed and paced in the room, trying to make herself calm down. Unbeknownst to the young witch, Natasha had set an alarm to be notified if the teenager got out of bed in the middle of the night.
Natasha groaned as the alarm woke her up, but quickly put on her dressing gown and made her way to the younger girl’s room. She made a rookie mistake by not knocking first.
Wanda in her heightened state sensed the intrusion and threw her arms up in front of her. The red mist shot from her body and Natasha went flying back into the hallway colliding heavily with the wall.
Wanda looked in shock as she watched the woman go flying backwards, “Nat!”
She panicked and ran over to the woman, “I’m so sorry, it was an accident! Nat? You ok? Nat?”
Natasha groaned slightly slowly getting to her feet, “I’m ok Wanda.” She grimaced as she straightened herself, she could tell that her back would be bruised by the morning.
Wanda rushed back into the room. She hurriedly opened her chest of drawers, and started rooting through the draws grabbing some of her old tatty clothes throwing them onto the bed. She then moved on and opened the wardrobe and grabbed a backpack that she tossed on the bed as well.
“Wanda what are you doing?” queried Natasha following her back into the room.
She carried on rushing around the room, “Packing,” was the one-word response.
Natasha cocked her head curiously at the teenager, “for what exactly?”
“I’m leaving,” came the reply. Natasha looked again at the frazzled and clearly terrified girl. Wanda started sorting haphazardly through her book case, tossing random books onto the bed to join the backpack and the other items she had collected.
“Why do you think you are leaving?” asked Natasha calmly.
Wanda turned back to her in disbelief, “I just threw you into a wall Nat, I am a liability what if I hurt you again. What if I hurt anyone else?” Her voice was starting to break and choke up as she said the words. By the end of the sentence she sounded so broken, that it even made Natasha want to cry in empathy.
Natasha approached the girl and stopped her erratic scurrying around the room. “Calm down Wanda, it was just an accident. You clearly had a nightmare and I should have knocked first.”
Wanda shook her head, her face was red and tear-stained. “I hurt you.”
Natasha shrugged, “I have had worse in training with Barton.” Natasha wrapped an arm around Wanda, and pulled her into a hug. Wanda found herself resting her head unconsciously on the older woman’s shoulder.
“Stop justifying it! Don’t make excuses for me. I’m a monster. I’m just some failed experiment.”
Natasha looked at the young girl sadly, the word monster resonated with her. She knew how that felt, to be a monster. She gripped the girl’s face so she couldn’t look away from her. “Sweetheart, calm down. You are not a monster. Far from it. You are a survivor of monstrous conditions. It means you have overcome monsters, nothing else.”
Natasha surveyed the teenager’s bed now covered with random clothes and books in her sad attempt at an emergency pack. “Come on, you can sleep in my bed with me. We can talk more in the morning.”
Wanda shook her head violently, “No, what if I attack you in the night? It isn’t safe for you.”
Natasha smiled warmly, “It will be fine, I promise.”
Natasha led the exhausted girl into her room, and lifted the covers of her own bed, and beckoned the teenager into the bed. Climbing in after her, “Friday lights off.” The lights switched off in the room. The teenager lay tense in the bed beside her, turning her body away from the older woman and curling up at the edge.
“Wanda,” said Natasha gently in what was quickly becoming her maternal tone. “come here.”
Wanda shook her head, and just curled up further into the foetal position.
Natasha reached over and pulled the girl into her body and gently ran her fingers through her hair. She grabbed her shoulder and turned the teenager towards hers. Wanda nestled her face into Natasha’s body. She was annoyed with herself for wanting the comfort. On a level she didn’t think she deserved such affection. Especially having just flung Natasha into a wall. Wanda could feel the guilt rising in her body, she went to pull away from the older woman. She could have seriously hurt her. Natasha could almost see the thoughts racing through her head. She started to trace her hand on Wanda’s back. Stroking and running her fingers down her spine, knowing it soothed Lila, Clint’s daughter when she did this. Natasha was grateful in this moment for the guidance Laura had given her other the years. She started to feel the tension leave the teenagers body as she continued her ministrations. Natasha kissed the girl’s forehead in reassurance which just seemed to start Wanda mumbling again, she kept changing language alternatively speaking in English, Russian and her mother tongue, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Natasha just gripped the girl tighter in response, noticing she was exhausted. The stress of the evening was clearly catching up with her. She moved her hand down and started patting her bottom and the tops of her leg lightly. Natasha had learnt in their short time together this was Wanda’s kryptonite. It never seemed to fail to get her to sleep. Natasha assumed it was something on a subconscious level. The desired effect occurred Wanda nuzzled further into her body and was asleep within minutes. Natasha sighed in relief, she was exhausted too, her back ached from the collision with the wall. She reached over to her bedside table, and grabbed out a pain pill quickly popping it into her mouth. She then snuggled down into the bed herself and closed her eyes hoping the pills worked quickly to allow her to get some much needed rest as well.
…………………………………………….
The following morning Natasha woke up to find Wanda sat cross legged at the end of the bed. Realising she hadn’t been notified Wanda had awoken as she hadn’t set off the sensor alarms. Wanda looked deeply lost in thought, starring at a blank space on the wall. Natasha slowly sat up gingerly, her back was as sore as she had expected it to be. Wanda openly flinched as she watched Natasha in pain.
“Don’t give me that look,” said Nat in a matter of fact way, “I’m fine.”
Wanda shook her head in frustration, “No, you are not, and it’s all my fault.”
Natasha frowned at the younger girl who was now refusing to give her eye contact. “That’s a lot of responsibility to take on Wanda.”
Natasha realised nothing she said was going to change the teenager’s mind. She reached over and grabbed the girl’s hand. “Wanda, what do you want?”
“What do you mean?” asked Wanda in abject confusion.
“It’s a simple question Wanda, what do you want?”
Wanda still looked puzzled, “I don’t understand what you want me to say.”
Natasha nodded in understanding, “It’s not about what I want you to say, it’s about what you want. If you could have anything in this world what would you want?”
Wanda looked at her sadly, debating whether or not to answer the question honestly, “I would have Pietro back, my parents back, my country would not be at war. We would be living in our little apartment…. But I will never have any of that will I?”
“You are right, you can’t have back what you have lost, but we can move forward together.”
Natasha took a deep breath, getting ready to broach the subject, “I want to be your family Wanda.”
Wanda looked at her slightly perplexed, “I don’t really understand what you mean.”
Wanda kept replaying her words in her head. She understood each individual word in English but she was struggling to make sense of what Natasha wanted to convey.
“I’m not just your teammate or your co-worker. I’m your family. I want to look after you, and you can look after me,” explained Natasha softly again. Her words were starting to affect her as well. It was not easy for the black widow to put herself out in this way.
Wanda took a moment to absorb the words before finally replying, “why would you want me?”
Natasha felt her chest ache at the words, there was so much emotion behind Wanda’s words. “How could I not want you?” replied Nat, gripping Wanda’s hand tighter. Natasha placed her other hand under Wanda’s chin and gently lifted her head up. She looked directly into Wanda’s eyes as she said her next words, “Do you trust me?”
Wanda searched those eyes for any sign of insincerity, doubt or fallacy. She found herself nodding even before her mouth formed the word “yes”.
Natasha smiled, “Good, there are times you will disagree with me. But always remember that you trust me and you know I will always do what is best for you.”
Wanda wrenched her head away from Natasha’s gentle hand and continued to stare at the bed spread. “I haven’t been honest with you.”
Natasha nodded in understanding, “I know you haven’t.”
Wanda took a deep breath, as she felt the walls she had surrounded herself with start to crumble. “I’m not 19.”
Natasha snorted in laughter, “I have always known that wasn’t true.” Her reaction helped to lighten some of the tension in the moment. Wanda looked up in slight annoyance, “Hey I was a very convincing 19!”
Natasha just laughed at her some more, “maybe you convinced some of the clueless male avengers…”
Wanda narrowed her eyes playfully at the older woman, “you were always trying to catch me out with your stupid pop culture references and maths.”
“Yeah damn my math skills,” Natasha quipped back with a knowing smirk. She really wanted in this moment to wrap the girl in a hug, but knew she needed to keep her distance to allow her to get all the words out. Natasha waited patiently for Wanda to continue speaking.
Wanda sucked in some air to calm her nerves, she was unconsciously playing with Natasha’s hand. Just feeling the skin, the connection. Natasha didn’t even think she realised she was doing it.
“So how old are you?” questioned Natasha breaking the silence. Wanda sighed and whispered, “15.”
Natasha’s eyebrows shot up, Wanda continued speaking slightly alarmed at her reaction, “but I’m 16 next week….”
Natasha needed a moment to comprehend the words. They had let two fifteen year olds fight alongside them in Sokovia. She really was a kid, in desperate need of a parent. Wanda took Natasha’s silent pondering negatively.
“It doesn’t need to change anything,” she stuttered. “I’m sorry I said anything. Pretend I never told you, I’m 19.”
Natasha cut off her rambling, “Things will change Wanda.”
Wanda looked at her brokenly, “Please can I stay with the avengers. Don’t kick me out.”
“What?” asked Natasha in shock.
“Please don’t tell the others. I want to stay. Be an Avenger.”
Natasha glanced at her thoughtfully, “That’s why you lied about your age, you thought no-one would want you. You thought you would be more useful to people as an adult.”
Natasha couldn’t believe how young the teenager looked in this moment. The fear surrounding her was palpable. Wanda went to stand up, but Natasha’s firm grip on her hand prevented the movement.
“No-one is kicking you out.”
Wanda exhaled slightly in relief, “So you won’t tell anyone?”
Natasha shook her head at her, “Oh…I’m telling everybody.”
Wanda deflated at those words. “They won’t treat me the same….”
Natasha nodded, “you are right they won’t, they will treat you as we should have been the last few months. You aren’t an adult Wanda. We can help you, train you, and guide you.”
“I thought you were doing that anyway,” stated Wanda referencing her avenger’s training.
Natasha stood up pulling the girl with her, “Come on, I’m calling an emergency meeting.”
……………………………………………….
The current active Avenger’s roster was sat around the table. Tony Stark for once had been rendered speechless. All eyes were facing Wanda Maximoff as she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.
Sam Wilson looked slightly ashen, “Wanda, please tell me I never hit on you, at the after party.”
Wanda rolled her eyes, “You did and it was fine, nothing happened.”
Natasha glared at him furiously, “And nothing will happen.”
Sam threw him arms into the air, “Hey I didn’t know she was jail bait, I thought she was 19.”
“Nothing changes,” stated Wanda firmly, “It’s just a number.”
Steve looked at her in shock, “Wanda it changes everything, you should have said when they took you. We all thought you were over 18. You aren’t even an adult.”
Wanda bristled at the comment, “I am an adult. I am an Avenger; I am the same person you have known for the last few weeks. The same person you fought with.”
Natasha spoke up again trying to placate her, “Wanda, Things will change. They have to change. Change doesn’t mean bad. It just means different. But you are not an adult Wanda. You need to recognise that fact.”
“I am adult by all social standards,” she said abruptly. “I have had sex,” she glanced at Steve who awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact. She knew that statement would make the 1940’s man uncomfortable. “I have lived alone,” Wanda turned to Clint, who maintained eye contact with her the whole time, she then turned to glare at Natasha, “I look after myself.”
Tony stark cleared his throat awkwardly, “She needs a guardian.” He addressed the room as if Wanda was not there. To her immense surprise nearly everyone in the room offered.
Natasha however insisted it be her. Tony agreed to organise the paperwork for them. Natasha then explained to them that they were going to take a few weeks away from the facility to go and stay with Clint.
Wanda spoke up at that, “No.”
Natasha ignored her and continued making the necessary arrangements and contact details should any avengers related emergency occur. Wanda felt rankled at being ignored, “No,” she repeated. The avengers carried on talking like she wasn’t there. In her anger, she felt her powers activate and the table levitated slightly off the ground before being hammered back towards the ground creating a cacophonous bang that echoed around the room.
Natasha turned her attention to Wanda, “Wanda… that was unnecessary.”
“I’m not leaving the HQ,” explained Wanda sternly.
“You are,” replied Nat calmly.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, why can’t I stay here with Rogers?”
“Because you are coming with me,” stated Nat. “I am looking after you.”
“What if I don’t want you to look after me?” asked Wanda, “Shouldn’t I get a choice?”
Tony snorted at her, “good luck with that kid.”
Natasha just turned back to the teenager, “Go pack your bag Wanda.”
Wanda felt so confused in the moment, she knew on a level she wanted a parent but at the same time she had been independent for so long.
“You can’t make me go,” explained Wanda.
Natasha narrowed her eyes at the teenager, she stood up slowly and stalked over to the where the teenager was slouched in her chair.
“Listen very carefully Wanda. You have two options here. Option one, you go and pack a bag, and we leave for the farm. Option two, you refuse, you get punished and then you go pack a bag and we leave for the farm.”
Wanda looked at her in total shock, “What do you mean punished??”
“I mean exactly that, you need to learn you are a teenager who needs to do as she is told,” replied Natasha. She glanced at the teenager, who looked clearly overwhelmed by the turn of events. Natasha determined a gentler approach may be required, “listen Wanda, we will talk later about expectations, what you want from me? For the moment please go pack. I promise though that we will sit down and go over everything ok?”
Wanda nodded weakly and left the room. Her head was spinning in the blink of an eye everything had changed. For the last 5 years it had been her and Pietro against the world, just thinking about him made her chest hurt. She wished he was here right now. How things would be different if he hadn’t been killed by Ultron. Killed by Tony Stark’s creation. The creation she helped facilitate with her powers. She drove Tony to create Ulton ergo she had was directly responsible for his death. It was amazing to her how quickly her brain made those connections. The guilt was growing in her body, it made her heart beat faster, her hands sweat, and the panic set in. She closed her bedroom door, and went straight to her bedside table searching for her aid. She removed the elastic band she kept secured to the bottom of her hairbrush and pulled it onto her wrist. She snapped it back harshly, and flinched at the sound it made when it connected with her wrist. The burn started immediately and she took a deep breath as she felt her heart rate slow in her chest. She snapped the band back again, the burn grew again, but the palpitations were ceasing. She lifted it back up and held it hire over her wrist. Wanda closed her eyes so she could not see when it was going to strike and by pulling it at different lengths from her body she could not anticipate the exact moment it would strike her skin. She only stopped when the band snapped, no longer fit for purpose. Wanda opened her eyes and glanced down at the wrist, she was not surprised to see blood, and the mottled bruising and swelling. She took another deep breath as she felt the relief wash over her. She was back in control; she knew it was not healthy but it wasn’t like she was cutting or anything. She was looking after herself, I mean she had even googled this as an alternative. As far as Wanda was concerned this proved she was an adult capable of looking after herself.
She grabbed her rucksack that was still on her bed from her attempted mad pack the previous night, and started to fill it with clothes. She opened a few drawers, and then happened upon a nirvana sweatband. Wanda pulled it over her sore wrist and was happy to see it covered it perfectly while also suiting her style. It didn’t look out of place just part of the overall ensemble. She hadn’t even bothered to wipe the droplets of blood off first, she knew the band would absorb the small amount of blood that was showing.
……………………………………………….
Once Wanda had left the room, the remaining avengers turned to Natasha in concern.
Tony was the first to speak up, “call us if you need anything? I know I’m usually only good for sarcasm, but I do also have money. Lots of money.”
Nat just smirked at him, ‘I am aware Tony.”
“We will be fine; I think she needs some time to not be an avenger. She has been fighting constantly for the last 5 years she needs a break and some perspective.”
Clint laughed out loud, “The Pot calling the kettle Black there, Romanoff.”
“Shut it Barton,” snapped Natasha.
Steve spoke up, “You know she isn’t going to want to give up any control. She’s an independent little hurricane.”
‘I do have power inhibitors I have been working on, they are bracelets. They neutralise part of powers we have been testing them on vision,” stated Tony.
Natasha shook her head, “Definitely not. I want her to trust me, she won’t if I have to threaten to make her powerless.
Tony just rolled his eyes, “Spoken like someone who has never been a parent. Good luck and god speed Romanoff. Teenagers are like their own breed. Good luck grounding one who can move things with her mind.”
“Sometimes Mutual respect can work,” said Natasha in annoyance. Tony looked around the room, “place your bets now guys, how long until Romanoff gives in and realises teenagers and respect are not mutually exclusive.”
“Fuck off Tony,” muttered Natasha. Steve couldn’t help but respond by automatically saying, “Language.”