Wanda Maximoff could not remember the last time she felt this alone. She guessed it was due partially to the fact she was a twin. Wanda struggled to remember any memory that didn't have Pietro by her side. She knew moving forwards that would not be the case. Though for some reason she still half expected to watch him saunter through the door and give her his trademark cocky smirk.
She closed her eyes and laid back down on the bed, sighing audibly. The bed was comfortable everything about the tower was modern and clean. Though it was like a hotel room rather than her home. Her eyes opened immediately staring at the ceiling. She could not close them, closing them meant seeing the scenes that haunted her thoughts. Sokovia was still fresh in her memory, even three months later. Wanda paused in her thoughts, one month since she buried her older brother. He never did let her forget the fact he was 12 minutes older. The funeral was a very sparse occasion; she was really the only one left to truly mourn his loss. Here she was now an orphan with no blood family left in the world. The Avengers all attended but Clint Barton was the only person other than herself to truly shed a tear, but they never really got the chance to know him. She lazily rubbed her temples, wishing she could sleep if only for a few hours. Uninterrupted sleep was a luxury she had forgotten existed. The bags under her eyes evidenced this truth. Her mind would not let her sleep or rest.
Pietro's passing had created what felt like a black sucking void in her chest. That empty feeling that made it difficult to breathe. It always threatened to overwhelm her entirely. Wanda aggressively snapped the rubber band that was sitting flush to her wrist. She hissed slightly at the burn the action created, but after the burn always came that second of relief. For that split second the burn masked the emptiness she felt, but it was always so short-lived. The online forums all suggested rubber bands or holding ice. The idea of holding ice never really appealed to Wanda and Long sleeved shirts already formed part of her casual wardrobe enough to not draw unwarranted attention. Puddles of water seemed somewhat less conspicuous.
Natasha seemed suspicious of her, and not just because she had commandeered her red jacket. The others all seemed to have happily bought her spiel on her age. She knew better than to reveal the truth. It helped that they wanted to believe it. Wanda told them she was 19 turning 20, which sounded better than the truth she was 15 turning 16. It seemed Natasha was hell bent on catching her out with subtle references to movies and music, trying to get her to slip up. She had taken to avoiding the woman like the plague, which proved difficult with how close she was to Clint. It unfortunately resulted in the side effect of seeing less of Clint. Wanda was isolated, she frequented three places, her bedroom, the gym and the kitchen. She turned over to stare at the clock on her bedside table, it flashed 3am taunting her slightly. She got out of bed and changed into some gym clothes. She took the iPod out of top drawer of the table, a gift from Tony Stark. She grabbed the air pods and placed them in her ears. Wanda slowly crept out of her bedroom down the hallway, she walked past the elevator and starting climbing down the stairs to the gym.
Wanda found she preferred working out at night, without an audience. She ran on the treadmill and got lost in her own mind. She pressed play on the ipod and let the piano music relax the tension in her body. She kept running, tapping the button to increase the speed every ten seconds getting faster, faster, and faster. Soon she was sprinting as the machine hit the maximum speed. Wanda took a deep breath, as her legs started to ache under the effort. The sweat was pouring down her face, she refused too slow down. She refused to stop. Her legs felt like jelly, she forgot how long she had been running for. The pain and ache was strangely addictive. Her foot slipped and she lost her balance, she went to go flying off the back, when two strong arms caught her, and a foot hit the emergency stop switch.
Wanda turned entangled to face her saviour, "Natasha... what are you doing here?"
Natasha was dressed in a pair of sweats with a tank top. She had clearly been sleeping before finding her. She reached down and pulled the earphones out of her ears, "I think the better question is what are you doing in here? Other than trying to kill yourself."
Wanda blushed at the older woman, "I just couldn't sleep, thought a workout might help."
Natasha relaxed her grip from the girl now they were both standing steady. She crossed her arms across her chest, "why couldn't you sleep?"
"That's not your concern Romanoff," replied Wanda. "Can I have my earphones back now?"
Natasha reluctantly handed them back. "This isn't normal Wanda; I know you are here most nights. You are training too much, and not eating enough."
"I don't need you checking up on me," Wanda expressed with slight resentment in her tone.
"Why have you been avoiding me Wanda?" questioned Natasha, "this is the longest we have spent in a room together in weeks. You are avoiding Barton as well. We are supposed to be training you? Not Sam or Steve."
Wanda sighed, "It's 4am Nat, why don't we talk tomorrow?"
Natasha stood stubbornly in front of the girl, "Fine we can talk tomorrow, but we will talk Wanda. I mean it, don't think you can dodge me."
Wanda watched Natasha leave the gym, she frustratingly turned to the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. She applied a firm angry punch into the bag, watching in satisfaction as it swung away from her.
...................................................
"Nat its 5am...." Groaned Clint throwing a pillow at his partner. He attempted to bury himself further into the bed. Natasha had once again let herself into his room. Clint muttered to himself something along the lines of, should have left you in Budapest.
"I'm aware what time is it Barton," replied Natasha catching the pillow with one hand, and flinging it back at him.
"it's also my bedroom!" he replied angrily while catching the pillow that had been aimed back at him, proceeding to throw his head under it in frustration.
"She was in the gym again," explained Natasha knowing Clint would not require any other explanation than that. She just to ignore his exclamation about it being his room.
"You are obsessed Romanoff," moaned Clint, shoving his head further into his pillow.
"She's just a kid."
Clint turned around in bed, he had realised that Natasha was not going to let him get back to sleep. "I know she is, you know she is, but getting her to admit that is another thing."
Natasha went and sat down gently on the bed next to Clint, "She's skipping meals as well."
Clint sat up in the bed, next to to Nat, making sure the duvet cover was over his lap. They were close but he drew the line at being naked in front of her. "What is it about this girl Nat that's got you so worked up?"
Natasha leant into her friend and let him wrap his arm around her shoulder. "She reminds me of me...."
Clint didn't require any more explanation than that, he just presses a kiss to her head. Clint knew Natasha's biggest secret; she was not the cold unfeeling assassin she made out to be. She was gentle and kind. He saw it best with his kids, when she was "auntie Nat." There was something about Wanda that made that side of her come out. A desperate urge to care for and nurture that needed to be fulfilled. The red room may have taken away her ability to reproduce but it did not take away her ability to mother.
"How is you research going?" asked Clint curiously. He was aware of the digging Natasha was currently doing searching for records on the Maximoffs.
"Surprisingly enough it's proving difficult to check the records in a war torn country," deadpanned Natasha. She had exhausted most of her contacts within the KGB and Shield, trying to find out the experiments that were carried out on the twins.
Clint looked at her thoughtfully, "you ever think about just asking her?"
Natasha snorted in response, "She has already lied about her age...."
Clint cut in quickly, "we don't know that for sure. She could be nineteen."
Natasha just laughed at her partner, "If she is nineteen I'm the pope."
Clint just smirked at her, "Maybe don't open with that. You may need to play the long game here Nat, rather than your usual bull in a china shop approach."
Natasha snuggled in closer to him, "Shut up Barton. You do know I'm a spy."
Clint stroked her head, letting her just relax into his touch, "I'm worried we won't have the time Clint, she is self destructing."
Clint nods sadly, "I know..." He waited a second before finally asking, "Can you grab me some pants out of the dresser?"
.........................................................
Wanda meandered into the kitchen heading straight to the coffee machine. She was exhausted. She had tried to sleep for a few hours after the gym but she had just laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. Eventually she had give up and just got in the shower. Wanda grabbed a pod out of the kitchen drawer and stuck it into the machine and waited the 30 seconds for the Keurig to warm up. She found her fingers lightly drumming on the side while she waited. She heard the door open as Steve wandered into the kitchen, he headed straight for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, chugging it down quickly, before wiping his sweaty brow.
"Morning Maximoff."
"Rogers," Wanda acknowledged back. Steve started to rummage around the kitchen collecting together the ingredients for breakfast.
"Waffles?" he questioned at the witch. Wanda just shook his head, "I'm having the breakfast of champions." She gestured towards to the Keurig and then reached down to her pocket and shook the packet of cigarettes at him.
Steve grimaced, "Smoking is bad for you, you know."
Wanda snorted, "you grew up in the forties everyone smoked." She started slapping the packet into her hand, packing the cigarettes down to make them smoke tighter. She grabbed her complete coffee from under the machine, and slowly walked out of the glass doors onto the balcony. She shut the door behind her, and opened the packet of cigarettes. She slowly brought it to her mouth, and then lit it with her lighter. She inhaled slowly enjoying the mentholated smoke entering her lungs. Wanda exhaled heavily, and looked out onto the city in the morning. The sun was rising over New York; it was a beautiful view from here. She sipped at her coffee, before taking another pull of the cigarette.
She heard the door open behind, Wanda turned her head to see Natasha and Clint joining her on the balcony. Natasha scrunched her nose at the girl, "I really wish you wouldn't smoke."
Wanda smirked at the older woman, "I really wish you wouldn't share your opinion."
Natasha narrowed her eyes at the younger girl, "You really are a brat sometimes."
Wanda broke into a real smile, "You wouldn't want me any other way."
Clint rolled his eyes at the pair of them, "You sure you two aren't related."
"Well you are old enough to be my mum," joked Wanda offhand. Natasha pounced like a snake on the throwaway comment.
"Am I? I'm only 10 years older than you right?"
Wanda paled slightly, "it was just a joke Romanoff, I wasn't expecting you to start doing the actual math."
Natasha narrowed her eyes at the nervous girl, as Wanda took another pull of the cigarette. "So any plans for your birthday, as that's next week isn't it?"
Wanda just shook her head, "it's not important."
Natasha felt her chest hurt at her words, the first birthday without Pietro was always going to be difficult for the young girl. Clint spoke up, "we could just have a quiet family dinner, with the avengers or with Laura and the kids?"
Wanda continued to shake her head, "it's fine."
Her hand shook slightly as she lifted the cigarette to her mouth. Wanda tried to cover it up but failed miserably. Natasha noticed the action immediately, "you ok Wanda?"
"Yeah I'm fine," said Wanda, she felt shaky, and she could feel her heart beating in her chest. The palpitations were getting worse. She stubbed her cigarette out in the ash tray on the little table. Wanda stood up to get away from the pair of them, as her panic was starting to set in. Her hands were clammy and sweaty. She realised her mistake a second too late. A dizzy spell overtook her, as her body struggled to adapt from sitting to standing. Her knees buckled, her head spun, and the last thing she remembered was Natasha shouting her name.
.......................................................................
Wanda came to slowly, her head ached. She noticed two different things initially, one was the steady beeping noise of a heart monitor, and the other was that someone was holding her hand. It felt soft and warm. She turned her head weakly and took in the worried expression of Natasha who was sat in the chair next to her bed.
"how long?" she groaned.
"Only about 20 minutes," replied Natasha succinctly. Wanda looked at her other arm and noticed the IV attached, she yanked her hand away from Natasha's grip and went to pull it out.
Natasha grabbed her arm instantly, "No Wanda, you need that in."
Wanda then felt her face and noticed the nasal Cannula as well. "how did they get me this wired up in 20 minutes?"
"You passed out Wanda."
"It's probably nothing Nat, must have been overdoing it a bit," Wanda explained away. She went to sit up, only for Natasha to place a firm hand on her chest and push her gently back into the bed.
"You are going nowhere, until we get your test results back."
Wanda narrowed her eyes at the older woman, "I think you will find I can do what I want Romanoff."
Natasha stood up and glared angrily at the girl, "You passed out Wanda, you are not leaving this bed, until we have found out why."
"I just told you why!"
"I'm sorry did I miss the part where you got a medical degree," Natasha responded sarcastically.
'I know my own body," replied Wanda as she scratched around the Cannula site on her arm. Natasha slapped her hand in response. "Stop that."
"It's uncomfortable," Wanda whinged. Natasha looked at the girl who looked so small lying in that bed, her face was pale, her eyes and cheeks were sunken. She looked ill and she looked so young and vulnerable.
"Wanda why don't you get some sleep. I promise you the second the doctors tell us anything I will wake you."
"I'm not tired," she replied bitterly.
Natasha lifted her hand and started to stroke it through her hair, "You are so tired sweetheart, just close you eyes for a second."
Wanda grimaced, "Don't call me sweetheart." She complained out loud but the term of endearment filled her with warmth. She couldn't remember the last time someone treated her with such tenderness. As much as she didn't want it, at the same time she craved it. Her body leaned into the touch Natasha was providing. "Good girl, just relax."
Part of Wanda wanted to take umbrage at being called good girl, but the other part of her just preened at the praise. She felt her eyes shut eager to hear more praise, as embarrassed as she was by it.
"That's it sweetheart," Natasha's words started to sound further and further away, until she couldn't pin point the moment that she fell asleep.
...............................
Clint tiptoed into the makeshift hospital room in the tower, "Little one still asleep?"
Natasha nodded at him, "what did the doctor say?" continued Clint.
She sighed one of Tony's on site medical team had seen to her, "Malnourishment, lack of sleep, exhaustion, any of the above."
Clint grimaced, "So she's not eating or sleeping?"
Natasha nodded, "Yes but we both already knew that. Clint we have to step in, I don't care if she ends up hating me for it, I can't.... no I won't watch her waste away in front of us."
"You know she will fight us the whole time," Clint replied genuinely.
"It's a good thing I never lose a fight then..."
"She won't fight fair Natasha you sure you can handle that?" questioned Clint honestly.
Natasha looked up puzzled, "I don't think she would use her powers against me."
Clint looked pensively at her, "I don't mean like that."
Natasha looked at him curiously, urging him to continue. "She has been in your mind Nat; she knows your weak points......emotionally."
Natasha nodded in understanding, Wanda had been in her mind, made her relive the graduation ceremony. The moment of her greatest pain, when she was robbed of the one thing she wanted the most.
Clint continued speaking, "she might lash out Nat, are you going to be able to handle that?"
Natasha nodded looking over to the sleeping girl, "I will."