A standard radio phraseology that means "Have I correctly received the following...?" or "Did you correctly receive this message?"
* * *
December 7th, 1700Z (0100LCL + 1)
Location: Boracay, Caticlan, Philippines
I always wonder how my first kiss will be. Despite my own indifference with love, of course, I also think of what and how it will feel. Despite those times that I dreamt of the dream version of me kissing César, having quite a variety of it to compare... there's an inkling similarity among all of it and to that of this. That rush of excitement.
Well, it had taken me by surprise that the first man I'll ever be kissing will be Elian. In such an unexpected way, and in a very strange situation.
"Dare or not, I never considered you a stranger nor a friend alone," he said before kissing me, indeed.
And not just a soft peck or short or light one, but a kiss that seems to burn and consume me. One that despite my initial shock, I've suddenly turned weak to fight against it. One that didn't end with just the first.
"There's something about you that I can't explain," he added in between kisses. "But upon seeing you, I knew right away that life with you will be more interesting than life without you."
His scent clung to me at once. Aside from him reeking of alcohol and cigarette, a strong smell of soap, mint and sandalwood emitted from him. Some sort of natural scent that I only once attributed to be of César's, and weirdly another similarity that they share. The bitter taste of alcohol swept through his mouth and tongue to that of mine, enough to make me tingle and moan.
I almost think that it would be more than just a kiss; especially when the door shut behind us, and he continued kissing me, as if I was the one giving him air to breathe, all the while we reached the bed. However, no matter how drunken this confession or whatever this was might be... thankfully, I managed to keep my decency.
"Tangina," I mutter as I press my hands against my face, moving them lower until my fingers trail to my lightly swollen lips. I narrow my eyes in suspicion, slightly bite my lower lip and throw deadly daggers on the suspect who lies asleep on his stomach on the bed from where I am now seated on the couch. "Tangina talaga, Elian Basa."
The man snoozes, lost in the realm of sleep with a light snore. And definitely causing more and more troubles for me. He must be both thankful that we're staying another day here, and remorseful for being such a burden to me this way.
Maigi pa talaga pinilit ko na lang makatulog at that moment, and hindi ko na sinagot 'yong katok kanina... I ponder with a pout, still looking on at Elian. Kung hindi ko naman sinagot, mangungulit kaya pa rin talaga siya?
I remember the knocking another time, and indeed agree that the knocking from him earlier had been surprisingly calm than be the agitated and furious one for not being answered. That makes me wonder if he is really drunk, and since he didn't even call my name back then, it may be possible that he could've mistaken me for someone else.
But the way he looked at me when I opened the door... His eyes were slightly hazy but sharp and clearly boring back at me on that moment.
I feel like I am just being delusional, thinking that he is very much aware that it is me who occupies this hotel room, and me whom he just kissed.
Gone are my questions of his sexuality, I think. Because he's definitely a good kisser... Another trademark that he shares with César. But this is the real one? Are my desires really flooding my dreams and then bleeding to this reality?
I then lie back on the couch, staring then at the ceiling in the darkness. I tell myself that I'll definitely ask Elian about what happened by morning; because, if ever it had been all just a mistake, then fuck him.
* * *
I struggle to fall asleep. I know that I keep my eyes closed in hopes that I can bear the knowledge that I am sleeping on the couch with a man sleeping on the bed just few feet away. I didn't expect that Elian will not be snoring quite too loudly at all, that in the darkness, the silence is almost killing time to blend along with the air condition unit and Elian's light breathing. And I swear that the couch hadn't been this comfortable at all when I first laid down; it hadn't been this soft and comfortable like a cloud.
However, by the time I realize that a small hint of morning light transcends through the windows and the drawn-out soft curtain, behind my closed eyelids, I know that there must be something wrong. Because I remember lying on the couch facing the wall and not the windows; and yet, it is proving otherwise. Very otherwise that when I open my eyes, I find my face just a few inches away from a very clear-headed and widely awake Elian.
I scream, panicking as I push myself up, and in my intention to be far away from him as possible, I end up falling back on the bed with a soft thud. Pain courses through from where I fall, and I am massaging it away when my brain goes to override.
Paano ako napapunta sa kama, ha?! Nag-sleepwalk ba ako? Ni hindi ko nga namalayan na nakatulog ako in the first place! And wait...
I immediately touch my body, looking down to see myself still wearing the clothes I am wearing the night before. The only problem is that I am not wearing any bra; the very same reason that I've used the door as cover last night in receiving Elian as I am all-set for bed. This time, I pull the blankets from the bed and from him, drawing it around my frame to cover myself up. And then, embarrassed and shy, I look up to the man now sitting on the bed, worry etched in his features as he stares back at me.
"U-Uhm, are you alright, Rookie?" he inquires.
Fuck me. Am I supposed to be alright?!
"A-Ah, sorry." It is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. "Nag-sleepwalk yata ako mula sa couch. I didn't mean to sleep on the same bed with you. No, that sounds so wrong. Pero, seryoso, alam kong lasing ka kagabi kaya hindi ko talaga ginusto na maistorbo ka or what."
He sighs heavily and as he brushes his bedhair with a light tousle, he looks away guiltily. "I should be the one apologizing. For intruding your privacy and ended up sleeping here."
Ah, right. Siya nga dapat talaga ang mag-sorry pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa niya!
Elian immediately moves out of the bed and it is very evident that he is sorry as he can no longer look at me in the eye. Whether he remembers what he had done last night or not, I wonder about it; but I can't bring myself to ask!
I look away from him and then to the morning light that filters through the room, neglecting him slightly as he tries to smooth down his clothes. It had been too awkward that I try to fill the silence with a question, "Uhm, anong oras na?"
He finally returns his gaze at me and quickly looks down on his wristwatch. It is quite too similar of César, seeing him this way right out of sleep. He clears his throat and answers, "Few minutes before six. Enough time para makatulog ka pa since bukas pa naman ang flight natin; since pareho lamang kami ni Capt. Zablan na madami-daming nainom at hindi kami pwede mag-report back to duty in less than the allotted bottle to throttle quota."
"I-I see," I stammer and slowly pull myself up, still keeping the blankets firmly around my frame.
"I'm truly sorry, Rookie," he retorts back to apologizing. "For really being quite a mess and everything. And no; hindi ka nag-sleepwalk. I..." He looks away while rubbing the back of his neck. "Noong nagising ako a few hours back, clearly in need of some water... nakita kitang natutulog ka sa couch. At na-realize ko at once na wala ako sa hotel room ko, and this place is yours. So... nakakahiya na nga and everything kaya..."
Binuhat niya ako?! Sa bigat kong ito?!
I flush and press my lips into a thin line.
"Alam ko na mali namang umalis lang ako basta-basta. Especially na kahit double-lock 'yong mga pintuan, kailangan pa rin totally i-locked from the inside; and also, baka isipin mo na tinakasan ko kung anuman ang gusto mong ipataw na consequence sa akin. But my succeeding action na tabihan ka pa rin sa kama... well, yeah, that's a mistake of mine. I should not have done that. But I can swear, to the grave, na wala akong ginawa sa iyo. Especially when you're vulnerable."
"Wala rin naman akong ginawa sa iyo noong natutulog ka," I counter, and when the words sink in to both of us, I notice that I am not the only one who blush and find the situation embarrassing and awkward.
"W-Well, now that you're awake, I can leave and you can lock the door," he starts another time, motioning for the exit.
"A-Ah, yes." I follow after him as he heads out.
However, he stops for a moment before opening the door. He straightens up, flexing his broad shoulders upon doing so and asks, "Rookie?"
I blink. "Uhm... Yes?"
"Don't stress too much over what happened last night. I'm not here to lord it over you, and I apologize for how I've been quite shameless from last night. But that also doesn't mean you should forget it either," he replies.
W-Wait... Is he now talking about the kiss itself?!
Before leaving me, quite dumbfound, he adds, "I certainly was on the right mind and had a clear memory of what happened."
* * *
I can say that the reason I've fallen asleep without me knowing during the dead hours of the day is because of exhaustion. That despite the too many things that are going on in my mind back then, I still ended knocked-down; for when I try to catch some snooze as Elian had suggested, I failed to do so with a troubled mind for the things that just transpired.
The kiss... The waking up... His parting words...
The sun rises higher and higher until I decide that I can't go back to sleep and just prepare for the day. I remember promising my colleagues that we're to spend the morning until afternoon at the beach as some sort of a vacation; before, as Elian also mentioned, our ferry flight will be tomorrow just for him and Capt. Zablan to obey the law itself of their so-called 'bottle to throttle'.
By eight in the morning, I head down to the buffet breakfast offered by the hotel, and upon approaching the table where my colleagues are, with Capt. Zablan and the cabin crews already present on our long table, I find them sharing knowing smiles, if not weirdly. As courtesy, I greet them before heading to the buffet table and return later on to take the vacant seat between Ellen and Clara. The rest are also conversing with the ones they are next seated to, and being seated between these two is like I am about to be bombarded with questions.
"Good morning, (Y/N)," Clara's ever bright greeting isn't at all suspicious; but that of Ellen's and Lara's, the latter being seated on Ellen's other side, are definitely worthy of an eyebrow raised. "So... how was it?"
I blink, surprised with the straightforwardness of Clara's question right now. For the past few days, there had been conversations between us, too, that we're definitely a percent closer to being considered friends.
Ellen nods and asks, "Oo nga, (Y/N). Kumusta ang naging gabi mo, ha?"
"Teka lang nga. 'Di ba sabay-sabay tayong bumalik ng hotel?" I counter as my brain is already conceptualizing a good lie to go on. "Of course, pagkatapos ng ilang bottles, pagkabalik ko is nag-ayos na rin ako para matulog."
"Mali kasi ang tanong niyo," insists Lara, drawing closer to keep her voice lower for only the four of us to talk about it. She chuckles lightly and boldly questions me, "Kumusta si Capt. Elian sa kama?"
I choke at the coffee I am drinking, but thankfully, I didn't spit it on my recovered food due to the unexpected question. I doubt at first if I heard right, but when both Ellen and Clara scold Lara for being quite too straightforward than anything else, I am sure that I didn't misheard it at all. As I try to calm myself down, I turn sharply at them after a quick scan of all others on the table, to find out as well that the said man of the subject is nowhere still. "A-Anong mayroon sa kanya?"
Clara lightly elbows me and looks quite guilty when she answers, "Uhm, nakita kasi ni Capt. Aclan na lumabas si Capt. Basa sa kwarto mo kaninang umaga. Napansin niya na lumipat ng ibang kwarto si Capt. Basa kaya naitanong niya kay Capt. Zablan kung saan talaga ang room ni Capt. Basa. Sumunod din kasing umalis sila Capt. Aclan at Capt. Osias kagabi pagkatapos natin makaalis dahil nga may lipad pa sila ngayong umaga; tapos ayon... natanong kani-kanina lamang ni Capt. Zablan kung sino raw ang naka-stay doon sa room na iyon, so..."
Now, everyone on this table has the assumption that something happened between me and Elian... Pero wala naman talagang nangyari, ha?! But then, paano ko ba mapapaniwala sa kanila na wala talaga?!
"So..." Ellen threads the discussion with a knowing smile. "Kumusta nga?"
I sigh heavily and raise an eyebrow back at her again. "Mukha bang may nangyari? Sa itsura kong ito? Mukha bang may glow-up?"
Lara snickers, "Ano ba, (Y/N)! Hindi naman lahat ng the morning after may glow-up, ha! Malamang, minsan okay lang din 'yong—"
"No!" I interrupt her, already predicting what she will be saying the next. Doing so seems to catch all other's attention to focus at me, causing me to flush and duck my head in embarrassment. I am suddenly ashamed of what they definitely think of me for them to make assumptions as that; and it is making me close to tears for whatever bad comments they have of me right now.
"Good morning, sirs. Good morning, ma'ams," Elian, the very man I am linked to, address all of us in the table as he draws closer and takes the vacant seat between Capt. Zablan and FS Manlunas. He had changed to some comfortable clothes and seems to be freshly out of the shower as he takes a cigarette and lights it up.
This time, all other attention is drawn to him.
FS Manlunas chuckles and elbows him lightly, teasingly saying, "Grabe kasamang makainuman ang mga kakilala mo, capt, from Ateneo ha! Talagang hindi lang mamahalin ang iniinom, pero matataas din ang mga alcohol content."
"Gano'n 'yong mga iyon," he answers after taking a puff. "Lalo na kapag natapos na ang UAAP at nanalo pa sa championships... expected na 'yong mga gano'ng klaseng celebration."
"Dinaig naman masyado, Elian, ang mga inuman during flight training and maging sa airlines, ano?" Capt. Zablan asks before taking a long drink of water. Based on his appearance, he seems still lightheaded. "Naitanong sa akin kanina ni Geronimo. 'Di pa nga ako sigurado kung talagang tama siya ng sinabi na nakita ka raw niya kaninang umaga na lumabas ng Room 304. Sabi ni Kathleen, si (Y/N) daw ang naka-check-in sa Room 304."
Apparently, Capt. Zablan's question had been too straightforward in addressing the issue at hand, too. However, compared to the gossiping way that Clara, Ellen and Lara put me on, this one is so upfront among the rest of the cabin crews and PR team. As if Capt. Zablan wants to put a nail to the coffin to quench whatever rumors that may go on; and make a question concerning my and Elian's integrity.
Elian remains his cool when I am fidgeting right here, chairs away from where he is seated, and by the time he answers, he didn't seem affected at all. "It's true that I visited Miss (L/N)'s room early this morning para humingi ng tea bags to ease my hangover. That's all."
Silence settles among our table and I wonder if that excuse will be accepted at all. But then, Capt. Zablan breaks it once more, saying, "Hay naku. Baliw talaga iyon si Geronimo; parang nagbabalak pang gumawa ng issue."
"Okay lang 'yon sa akin, capt," Elian remarks before his eyes settle on to me. "But if it didn't sit well with Miss (L/N) for her to be troubled by further inquiries as that... then, I take full responsibility as my actions are independent to that of hers."
* * *
A/N: Vote, comment and share! Whatever you do means a lot to me, and I am really wishing for some feedback! Tomorrow is not only father's day, but also our dear deceased friend's earth birthday. Such a strange thing to think that it is the first of his birthdays that we'll be celebrating with him gone... 😞 And additionally, guess who's the birthday boy for the next chapter's update on Wednesday?! 👀💙
A few list of notes to share!
1. Once more with the bottle to throttle quota, but this time, involving seniority. Sure, I've discussed this bottle to throttle countless of times already, but what of seniority? Flying is very much like military seniority. Not in a sense that age matters; rather, the time you've entered the organization is. In short, even if you're younger but became part of the group earlier on, you have much seniority than the others. It is like rank outranks age itself. In my experience with flight training, I and my batchmates started as the "aliping saguiguilid", wherein we were ordered to do basically anything and simply accept it: like an offered alcohol drink, breaking of curfew hours, and the excessive greeting. We can't simply say no, in short. But as years passed, and we raised higher in our training with the number of the newest batches arriving, we're already part of the seniors. (Though I'll say that we're the type of seniors who don't force anything to our juniors, especially when it comes to drinking or whatsoever. To give a preview, we're from batch 43, and the newest bacth had been batch 68.) Still, if it will be an offered alcoholic drink by someone much more senior than us, then we can't still simply say no about it and be thankful instead.
Chapter title: Confirm. There are too many things for the Reader to confirm out of Elian throughout this chapter. However, it seems like for Elian's side, they are all confirmations that the Reader continues to doubt unless it will be verbally explained to her. Guess we'll just figure out how things sail on for the two of them from here on the next chapters~
Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates and trivia. ;)
#CFBArtificialHorizon