BACK TO PRESENT
At Kim's bedroom...
Kim was standing at the window side looking outside towards the moon, a smile plastered to his lips.
"It's confusing Porchay" Kim said, "It's all so confusing. I had killed her but the desire to kill increased after that. The bloodlust increased. The agonizing screams of people were like melody in my ears"
Kim again continued, "She was not there anymore, but her thoughts still haunted me. After all two years is not a small time. It hurted so much whenever I remembered her, whenever I remembered that she's no more in this world. No not because I loved her, all love I had for her was already gone. It's because I wanted to kill her again, to hear her screams, to see her horrified face"
Kim chuckled to himself, "If I could, I would revive her from death and kill her for a second time, or maybe a third, or maybe as many times as possible. But that was not possible,her words had triggered me to kill her sooner than I decided. So to satisfy my demons I started killing other people, became more involved with the mafia world from which I used to run away. I know it's not a normal thought and I know that I'm not normal. But I can't help it anymore. I myself cannot tame my monster anymore..."
Kim's gaze was empty. He was looking out of the window. He suddenly heard the dangling of chains but did not look back. Soon two soft arms pulled him in an embrace. Chay back hugged him.
Kim could feel his shirt getting wet. He understood that Chay was crying from the silent shaking of the younger.
Kim then slowly turned back.
He held Chay's cheeks in his palm and made him look up at him. He could see the face of the younger was red from crying and his eyes were swollen.
If it would be someone else, he would have enjoyed seeing them cry. He loved people being weak and feeble in front of him. The sight of suffering made him satisfied. But with Chay, he did not felt that. He did not like him crying and he don't know why.
He slowly wiped the younger's tears and chuckled, "Why are you even crying? I'm fine...look at me"
Chay looked at Kim with glossy eyes, "I'm sorry P'Kim...I'm so sorry..."
Kim was confused. What was Chay sorry for?
"I said I hate you" Chay answered as though reading Kim's mind, "But I don't. I was an idiot. I did not know anything. I should not have said that P'Kim. I don't hate you, I don't..."
Saying that Chay again cried. Kim chuckled a little. Why was this boy so cute? He gently kissed on Chay's eyes.
"I believe you little boy" Kim said smilingly, "Now tell me are you hungry yet? Or do you want to hear some more stories? Gosh we did not ate for more than a day, aren't you starving?"
Chay smiled a little hearing the older's whiny voice, "Yes I'm starving" Chay said.
"Let's eat then, I hope the noodles are not cold yet" Kim said. Chay nodded and turned around. He tried walking towards the bed while limping as his wounds were still hurting.
Seeing that Kim picked him up in bridal style. Chay gasped but did not say anything. His face was as red as a tomato and he mentally scolded himself for blushing like a kid.
Kim gently placed him on the bed. Chay did not look at him but looked down towards his feet. Kim smirked seeing his red face. He then took the container of noodles, opened it and gave it to Chay along with the chopsticks.
Chay held the container already drooling over the noodles. Kim chuckled after getting a 'grrr' sound from Chay's stomach. Chay blushed even more.
"Stupid stomach" Chay mumbled under his breath but Kim still heard it.
"If you're hungry then just eat" Kim said opening his own chopsticks to eat.
Without wasting anymore time Chay started eating like a starved lion. He gulped without chewing completely and choked on it, but then again he drank water and started eating.
Kim just smiled looking at Chay who was eating like a pig. Kim was also eating his noodles slowly. As Kim finished half of his noodles Chay had already finished eating.
Kim looked at Chay to find him staring at Kim's noodles and gulping. Chay was still hungry. As Kim noticed that, he forwarded his chopsticks towards Chay's mouth as a gesture to eat.
Chay opened his mouth and took the noodles in his mouth. He chewed a little before swallowing.
"Want some more?" Kim asked and Chay cutely nodded his head. Kim chuckled and fed him his own noodles. He was not that hungry and he would surely let Chay eat his noodles to see that cute expression on his face.
After finishing eating, Chay burped but quickly covered his mouth with his hands out of embarrassment. Kim chuckled and gently patted his head while he came close to his face.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're cute?" Kim asked.
"P'Kim!" Chay said shyly and Kim laughed.
"Ok ok it's late" Kim said, "You shall sleep"
Chay nodded. He slowly laid down on the bed covering himself with the blanket. Kim took both of their containers and chopsticks and stood up. He then proceeded to leave only to be stopped by Chay's voice.
"P'Kim!" Chay said, "You're leaving?"
Kim smiled, "Do you want me to leave?"
"N-no!" Chay said, "I mean...it it's your room and...you shall not leave for me..."
"Don't worry" Kim said, "I'm just going to throw these away and come back"
Chay nodded. Kim left with the empty containers. Chay rolled onto the other side of the bed thinking. So many things happened on the same day. Kim tortured him, then took care of him, Chay got to know about his past and everything about that hell of a lady Rose, and also suddenly their relation improved a lot and Chay felt like he could trust Kim.
As Chay was lost in his thoughts, he could suddenly feel two strong arms pulling him backwards. Chay's back touched Kim's chest. Kim was careful enough not to touch Chay's wounds.
"P-P'Kim" Chay stuttered, "Y-your wound.."
"It's fine" Kim mumbled holding Chay's waist. Chay slowly turned around towards Kim. At first Kim thought that Chay was going to push him away but Chay shocked him. He snuggled more into Kim's chest.
Kim smiled and stroked his back softly. Chay rubbed his nose a little in Kim's chest and slowly touched Kim'x wound. He was feeling a bit guilty to hit Kim earlier, but what else could he have done? He was scared at that time and knew nothing about Kim.
"Porchay" He heard Kim's voice.
"Hmm?" Chay said.
"Do you think what I did with her was wrong?" Kim asked. At first Chay did not understood what Kim meant. But then he realised that Kim was talking about Rose.
"You really want to know?" Chay asked.
"Yes" Kim said. He had never shared that experience of his life with anyone. Not his brothers and not even with the doctors. Chay was the first one who knew. Yes, Kim had no regrets for what he did but he wanted to know what Chay thought.
"Then listen" Chay said, "Yes, I think you did wrong..."
Kim smiled. He already knew anyone who would know about his actions would only hate him. Maybe even Chay hated him but was just showing him sympathy for what happened to him. Kim was always meant to be a monster hated by everyone. He never told about his experiences to anyone because he did not wanted anyone's sympathy. But that's what he was getting from Chay right now, sympathy, only sympathy.
"...you should have tortured her more" Chay said and Kim was shocked, "She deserved a death worse than that. You should not have killed her that easily"
Saying that Chay looked at Kim. Kim was still shocked hearing that. But then he laughed.
"Woah woah woah! I thought you were the silent type" Kim said, "But looks like you're a violent type"
"P'Kim!" Chay playfully hit his arm while he laughed, "It's true you see. How dares she hurt you. If I would be there, I would have made her suffer more"
"Would you my little boy?" Kim asked amusingly.
"Yes!" Chay said, "She was a bad girl. Hell, she was the worst girl I've ever heard of. I wish she's still rotting in hell. She's such a-"
"Can I kiss you Porchay?" Kim suddenly asked cutting off Chay's words. Chay was shocked hearing that.
"Y-you want to k-kiss me?" Chay stuttered.
"Yes. Can I?" Kim asked, his gaze fixed on the younger. Chay looked into his eyes and immediately regretted his decision. Kim was looking like a predator with his bluish hair falling on his grey cat eyes. Chay quickly averted his gaze.
"You never asked before" He mumbled while blushing. His heart was beating faster and he had no idea why it was happening.
"That's because it was your punishment" Kim said, "But this time I want to kiss you for real. And I want to feel you responding"
Kim touched Chay's chin and made him look at him, "So...can I kiss you?" Kim asked again.
"Y-yes" Chay breathed out closing his eyes. He was nervous. He expected an aggressive and dominant kiss. He expected Kim to take what he wanted without caring. But that did not happen and it shocked Chay.
Chay could feel the soft lips of Kim on his. Kim's tongue slowly licked Chay's lips waiting for the younger to open his mouth. Kim was softly sucking Chay's lips nudging him to move along with him.
Chay slowly opened his mouth letting Kim enter his tongue in his mouth. Kim gently sucked the younger's tongue and kissed him softly. Then he slowly pulled Chay closer to himself holding his waist. Chay gently guided his hand along Kim's neck to his hair, gently weaving his fingers through them.
Chay's mind was blank. The kiss was so soft and full of love- wait did he just think about love? No no no! It was not love, it was just...it was just...what? It was not lust either. Chay did not know and he did not wanted to think. Whatever it was, it felt good. Kim's lips on his felt good.
Kim passed on his breath to Chay so that the younger does not suffocate like he did earlier. And Chay was grateful for that as he did not wanted to break the kiss but was losing his breath. So as Kim provided him with oxygen, he readily tool it.
The sweet taste of mint overpowered by the strong taste of cigarettes captured Chay's mind. Their tongues danced against each other igniting the flame of desires in both of their hearts.
But Kim needed to control. Not so soon. He reminded himself.
And so, reluctantly Kim ended their kiss after sucking onto Chay's lower lip for one last time. Chay slowly opened his eyes to find Kim looking at him, his gaze sharper than an arrow.
Chay became shy and quickly hid in Kim's chest. Kim adoringly stroked his head and smiled.
"Sleep my baby clown" He whispered in Chay's ear.
And with that Chay lost into the world of his dreams. Kim also closed his eyes and started to doze off...
Extras...
Rose's body was found the same day she was dumped, while her father's body was found five days later. No connection was established between the two bodies and before the police could investigate anything, the case was closed due to some internal clashes.
Somedays later Kim wrote a song. It was the last song he wrote which was never released. After that he stopped writing songs as he lost all inspiration.
Laying down on the floor
From the wounds that you tore
They can't save me no more
Now I'll never leave the door
(It describes about the time when Kim had been dumped in the garbage bag when they thought that he was dead. He had been hurt but not defeated)
Draw me in with your lies
Chain me up no I can't fight
Our love can never die
It has never lived
(These lines are meant for Rose. Kim tells her that she had always lied and he always believed. Now that he knew that all was a lie, he could not do anything as he was chained up, i.e., he had been kidnapped. He says that their love can never die because it never lived, it was never real)
I used to cry but the tear is dry
Used to be blind but I see the light
I start to smile and I don't know why
Please cut me deep
I'll live to just enjoy the bleed
(This one para describes the situation after Kim recovered. Kim was once a soft hearted sweet boy who would cry out his pains, but now all of his tears were dry and he could not cry anymore. He says that he was once blind enough to love Rose but now he sees the light, or more specifically the truth. Kim had started to smile even more although it's not the sweet smile anymore. He says that he wants to be hurted even more so that he always remember the pain and enjoys it)
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Um um
(Sounds of his heartbeat after he came back from death)
Please don't mind if I sing
It's just feel inviting
Now it's time for giving
Fill your soul with my own sin
(Kim is just singing all this out. All of his pain, anxiety and madness. It makes him feel relieved. Now after what had happened, it was time for Rose to pay for her actions, it was time for Kim's revenge. Kim would fill her soul with his son, i.e., he would torture her)
So you try to make up
Try to fill more than the cup
Baby please just wake up
The cup is your own skull
(So when Rose understands that, she tries to save her ass at any cost. She tries threatening and manipulating and begging. But what she does not understand is that Kim had changed and she is the reason. So Kim asks her to wake up from her dream and look as she was going to be dead soon)
used to cry but the tear is dry
Used to be blind but I see the light
I start to smile and I don't know why
Please cut me deep
I'll live to just enjoy the bleed
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Um um
You think that I need you around
Try every way to bring me down
Look up my little baby clown
Where are you right now
(Rose thought that Kim was weak that he needed her by his side to live. She tried everything to break him, to bring him down, but at last she failed. Now Kim mocks her asking her to look up at Kim and see where her place was)
You think that I need you around
Try every way to bring me down
Look up my little baby clown
Where are you right now
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Dum deu dum dum dum um um um um
Deu deu dum um um um
Um um
___________________________________________
Well this ff is completely based on Jeff's dum dum mv. So it's obvious to find connections with it.
Anyways are you ready for smuts? (I know you all are more than ready haha). I just wanted to ask if you want something toxic or vanilla? I can make a combo too haha.
Btw the next update maybe a bit late as I'm going to focus on my other ffs. People are going insane as I'm not updating them for a long time. So see you later!