Isabella
After the night Harry showed up at the club, I decided I needed some time off. Not only because sleep is important and I needed to catch up on it, but also to avoid Christian while he cools off. I usually don't take that much time off from the club because it means losing out on money, but I think I needed it.
Since I had a lot of extra time on my hands these last few days, I was able to really focus on my classes and getting their recital details figured out. Not to mention I was able to eat actual, hot, home cooked meals. I can't even remember the last time I had a nice dinner at home that wasn't at some ridiculous time. Kat has been really glad that I stayed home for a few days, especially since she was right about me needing the rest. I've been sleeping so much.
My exhaustion was definitely starting to get to me but now that brain fog is starting to clear up. I also don't have the urge to pop pills or something for energy, which I'm proud of myself for. If nothing else, I'm dedicated to my sobriety.
Tomorrow I go back to the club to work my weekend and I'm sure Chris will try to punish me for 'disrespecting him' by taking more of my money than he should. For now, I'm just trying to focus on dance class and sleep. Thinking about the club will only stress me out.
Tossing my hair up in a messy bun, I continue to help the baby tap class learn a new skill. We're almost at the point where I feel comfortable starting to introduce new things to them that could be a little harder. It's all to prepare for their recital dance though, which can sometimes be hard for the little tappers. I have faith that they'll understand it, plus I'm not leaving them to learn themselves.
Baby tap class isn't for the weak. A bunch of three and four year olds in shoes that can be slippery and make lots of noise is a recipe for disaster. I tend to be a lot more strict in this class since I don't want anyone getting hurt. It's also really easy to lose control of the class once everyone starts getting too loud. The kids have gotten really good at listening over the past few weeks, but they're still little and aren't perfect.
I signal over to Ariana to cut the music since she's my assistant for today. Thankfully this class is over, that baby shark song paired with uncoordinated tapping is enough to drive anyone insane. My kids know that when the music is off they have to stop what they're doing, so they all freeze pretty quickly once they don't hear the song.
"Okay you guys! You did such a good job today! We're gonna have everyone come sit in a circle alright?" Since they're finally starting to recognize the routine, they have no problem all sitting in a circle. And I'm not surprised when Ottilie sits down next to me in the circle.
Before class started, Ottie whispered to me, asking if I could do her hair in a 'fancy plait' and after a quick google search I figured out she wanted me to braid her hair. So I took some time to french braid her hair as she told me all about the fun things she did since the last time she had class. She also couldn't stop raving about the cookies I brought to the teddy bear picnic. She's definitely a little cookie monster.
Ottilie's taken every chance possible to look in the mirror, twirling around to try and see the braid I did in her hair. Everytime she sees it she gets the biggest smile on her face, as if she's the most beautiful girl in the world. And she is.
Sitting in our circle together, I have the kids repeat back to me what we did today and ask if they think we should practice one more class before moving onto the next thing. I'll probably spend some time next class working on it anyways, but I'll have something in my back pocket just in case I feel they're okay to move on.
Once we reach the end of class, it's always hard to keep the kids' attention. At the first sign of ants in the pants, I know it's time to wrap it up and send them home.
I'm just hoping that Ottilie's dad holds up his end of the agreement. We're keeping things professional, and I mean it.
As class officially comes to an end, I have all the kids take off their tap shoes before going to get their bags and go home. The last thing I want is for any accidents to happen because someone was running in their tap shoes. All holding their shoes in their hands, they go over to the den to get their bags with Ariana's help. I start to get up to help out, but I'm stopped by a little voice.
"Miss Isabella?" Ottie walked back over from the den, still holding her little tap shoes in her hand.
"Hey Ottie, what's up?" I smile at her, crouching down to her level so she knows that I'm listening to her.
"Do you think next time you can do my hair like this again? I really like it." She looks slightly timid as she asks, swaying her little body side to side.
"Of course, Ottie. Maybe next time I could bring a fun hair tie that has a bow or pom pom on it to make your braid extra special!" It's really no trouble at all, especially since she always gets here early.
She smiles and nods. "I like that. Thank you, Miss Isabella."
I'm taken by surprise when she wraps her little arms around me in a hug. Sure, she's hugged me before, but this one is extra tight. I make sure to hug her back with the same ferocity so she knows that I'm always here for her.
Sure, I may just be her dance teacher she sees twice a week, but to kids those two hours a week can be the most important moments in their week. I always want my students to see the dance studio as a safe space. This studio saved my life more times than I can count. Dance in general, even. This was the one place I could go that I could just express myself and that's exactly what I want for all my students.
Hand in hand, Ottilie and I walk over to the den to put her shoes away. Ariana takes over dismissal while I help out the few kids that are left, putting their shoes in their bags and making sure nothing gets mixed up. Ottie takes my hand again as we walk toward the waiting area so she could be dismissed.
Harry is already waiting by the door for Ottie, not used to her being the last one out of class for another week in a row. Ottie smiles up at me before letting go of my hand to run to greet her dad and get her shoes on.
"Everything good?" He asks, probably having seen Ottie and I talk through the window.
I just nod, "Yep. She did great today and is such a fast learner." I smile at her, leaning my back against the doorframe as I watch him put her shoes on.
He talks quietly to his daughter as he does and I only catch glimpses of conversation. Promises of pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert, compromises that they'll go to the park tomorrow since it's getting late. He has this special smile reserved only for Ottilie and man is she a lucky little girl to get to see that smile.
Once her shoes are on, she hops from the bench so she could get her coat on too. He helps her into it, zipping her up with a sigh. "Alright, what do we say to Miss Isabella?"
"Thank you, Miss Isabella!"
I smile at her, nodding. "You're welcome, Ottilie. I'll see you for ballet."
Harry lets her go say bye to Ariana, taking the opportunity away from his daughter to step closer toward me. His hands slip into his coat pockets as he cocks his head ever so slightly to the side. He lowers his voice, even though we're relatively alone. "Did you think about it?"
My gaze shifts away from him, double checking that nobody's around before I look back at him. "I did."
As hard as he tries to conceal it, the corner of his mouth twitches up into a quick smirk. "And?"
"And. The answer is still no." He sighs in disappointment, but I continue to give my reasoning. "You're very generous for offering, but I can't. Even if nothing... physical were to happen between us, I still can't. I don't need saving, I don't need pity, I'm a big girl."
"I know you are. And I already said I'm not trying to save you-"
"But you are, Harry. And I know it's coming from a good place. This just isn't something I'm interested in. Like I said the other day, let's just keep this professional. I'm Ottie's dance teacher, nothing more."
He sighs but nods, straightening up his posture. "Okay. I'm sorry if I overstepped."
"You didn't, it's okay. We're good." I smile at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'll see you guys on Saturday."
"See you on Saturday. Oh, and thank you for doing her hair. I have no idea how to do those things, I just try and stick to the basics." His smile tells me that he's okay with us being professional about this.
"Not a problem. You know, there are videos online that show you how to do that stuff if you ever have the time to sit and practice. It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it."
"Thanks, I'll definitely need to figure that out." He smiles one more time, taking a second to let his eyes really study mine. He only breaks eye contact because Ottie runs back over and grabs his hand. I look away too, not quite sure how much she could read into something like this, if at all.
We say one more goodbye before they finally leave, Ottie skipping along while she holds her dad's hand. A part of me hopes he'll look back and smile or even wink, but he doesn't.
I know I made the right choice. I know in the long run a situation like that could get messy and lines can get blurred. Our first priority should be Ottilie, that's why he came here. Especially after today's class, it only made me more secure in my decision.
Would it be nice to have sex with a rich hot guy in exchange for money? Yeah, it really would be. I know I'm an idiot for turning this opportunity down especially when he's so eager to give me his money, but I have to. This is what's best for us.
Ultimately, I feel good about this. I liked saying no, and even more than that, I liked having my "no" be respected. It's given me the confidence to go back to Afterlife and not let Christian walk all over me. Maybe I'll even start putting feelers out to look for a new club or maybe I could even ask Harry for his business contacts.
I know what I have to do. My relationship with Christian needs a definitive end, whether he likes it or not. I just have to rip the bandaid off, no matter how painful it will be.
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another short one but i promise it's gonna pick up again!
gab