A/N: CHAPTER WARNING - CONTAINS DRUG USAGE (OVERDOSE), DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND TENDENCIES
ONE YEAR LATER
Zyair lies curled up in his bed in the flat he and John have moved into, trying to hide from the outside world "Zyair?" John calls from outside the room. "Mmh?" Zyair responds. John pokes his head inside "I was wondering if you wanted to come to the shop with me? We could get you some new art supplies?" he suggests. "'m good. I'll stay here." Zyair responds, not coming out from under the covers. John nods even though Zyair can't see him "Okay, well, if you want anything just send me a text." he tells him. "Okay." Zyair mumbles in response. "Mattheo sent a message saying he's going to be back in time for dinner so he might be back before me." John adds, not getting a response so closing the door. Zyair removes his duvet and climbs out of bed, going over to his chest of draws and pulling out a bottle of his sleeping pills. He quickly takes a couple of them before putting them back and climbing back into his bed. His phone pings making him pick it up to see an email from Anderson, rolling his eyes he opens it to find another conspiracy about his dad still being alive. Tears falling, Zyair deletes the email before throwing his phone across the room "Zyair?" Mattheo asks, cracking open the door and seeing Zyair crying into his pillow. Mattheo gently lifts Zyair into his arms "I got you Mi Amor." he soothes, kissing his head.
Mattheo holds him as Zyair lets out a broken sob, curling into his boyfriend's chest and clinging to his T-shirt "What'd the phone do? Do I need to beat it up?" Mattheo jokes, gaining a watery chuckle. "Anderson sent me another stupid theory email." Zyair sniffs. "I'll talk to Lestrade about it, get him to talk to Anderson. I would do it myself but I might punch him if I do." Mattheo tells him. "I'd pay to see that." Zyair chuckles. Mattheo smiles and kisses Zyair "I'll go start dinner, you want anything in particular?" he asks. "Anything. I'm gonna have a shower before I come down." Zyair shrugs, kissing him back. "Okay." Mattheo nods, getting up. Zyair sighs and grabs his phone, seeing a large crack down the front as he puts it back on his bedside table "Boys? I'm back." John calls. "In the kitchen." Mattheo calls. "Just having a shower." Zyair calls down, going to his en suite with some fresh underwear.
Once showered Zyair walks back into his room and takes more of his pills, not paying attention to how many he's taking. Grabbing his phone he walks downstairs, finding Mattheo and John finishing off dinner "Smells good." he tells them, leaning against the doorframe. "My famous pasta." Mattheo smiles, giving him a kiss on the head as he walks past him to the fridge and back. Zyair gives a small smile as he watches Mattheo add more cheese to the sauce "Should be done in a few minutes." John tells Zyair who nods, deciding to go and sit down at the table while rubbing his temples. Frowning, John goes over and sits with him "Hey, you feeling alright?" he asks. "Hm? Y-Yeah, just tired." Zyair slurs, putting his head on his hand. "Mhm." John frowns, checking Zyair's temperature with his hand. Zyair whines slightly and tries to move away "Hey, look at me." John tells Zyair. The teen looks at John who looks a his eyes "Follow my finger." he tells him. Zyair sighs and follows John's finger with his eyes, John checking his pulse straight after.
Seeing what's happening, Mattheo takes the food off the heat and heads over "What's wrong?" he asks as he reaches them. "Go check his room, he's taken something." John tells him quietly, Zyair sleepily leaning on his hand. Mattheo nods and heads upstairs, John turns and starts getting Zyair up "Come on Zyair, we're going to the living room." he tells him, helping him into the living room. "'m fine." Zyair slurs as John sits him on the sofa. "Yeah, you look and sound it." John tells him sarcastically, checking his pulse again. Zyair hums slightly as Mattheo walks in, holding the bottle of pills in his hand "John." he says, passing them to the Doctor. John sighs and crouches so he's level with Zyair "Hey, Zyair, how'd many you take?" he asks. "C-Couple." Zyair lies. "Zyair." John warns. "I don't know..." Zyair slurs, sweat beginning to pour down his face. "Mattheo count how many are in there, that was a new prescription yesterday." John says, passing the bottle to him. Zyair's eyes droop making John gently tap his face "Hey, you need to stay awake Zyair. Okay? Eyes open." he tells him. "Tired...W-wanna see dad." Zyair slurs. "Yeah, well he can wait. We need you here, okay?" John responds. "Don't wanna be here. Wanna be with dad." the teen slurs. John feels tears threatening to fall "Not yet Zyair, okay. Your dad wouldn't want that. He'd want you to live, okay?" he tells him, his voice breaking slightly.
Mattheo finishes counting the pills "There's ten out of eighty left in the bottle." he tells John shakily. "Shit, call an ambulance. Then call Molly, Mrs Hudson and Lestrade. Zyair, hey, eyes open." John says, letting his professional side take over so he can help the teen he's come to see as a son. Zyair mumbles incoherently, his eyes rolling slightly. John gets Zyair onto the floor, checking his pupils "Zyair, you hear me?" he asks. Zyair groans weakly trying to move his head away from John, his breathing becoming short and shallow "I-I've called them." Mattheo tells John shakily. "Okay, I need to to try and keep him away for me. I need to run and get my work bag from my room." John tells him. Mattheo nods and sits next to Zyair, brushing his hair out his face "Mi Amor, I need you stay awake for me. Okay? I can't lose you." he tells him as John runs upstairs to get his bag. Zyair whimpers slightly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head "Zy-Zyair...please." Mattheo pleads, tears falling as John runs in with his bag. "Zyair? You hear me?" John asks, pulling Zyair's eyelids back and shining a penlight into his eyes. Mattheo holds Zyair's hand as John starts checking Zyair over "Dammit Zyair, you stay with us. You hear me? You stay with us." he tells the teen as he rummages through his bag.
In the distance they hear sirens getting closer "The ambulance is almost here Zyair. Just hold on a little longer for us." John tells the teen, worry clear on his face as the colour Zyair, his lips and his fingernails are going. "Please Mi Amor... please baby." Mattheo whimpers. Zyair suddenly starts shaking as he starts to choke on vomit, John immediately rushing into action and rolling him into the recovery position "Stay with us Zyair." he mumbles, hearing the sirens of the ambulance getting closer. Mattheo sits to the side, tears streaming down his face as he watches John trying to save Zyair "Zyair... Please..." he pleads, his voice breaking. Zyair stops shaking, making John check his breathing and pulse "No no no." he mumbles, clearing Zyair's airway before rolling the teen onto his back "Mattheo, I need you to tilt his head back and hold it still." he says. Mattheo shakily nods and holds Zyair's head back, John immediately starting chest compressions "You are not leaving us Zyair. Not today. Come on." he tells the teen. The sirens stop, closely followed by a knock on the door "It's unlocked!" John shouts, trying to ignore the colour Zyair is going. Two paramedics rush in with a gurney and a large medical bag "What his name? What happened?" one of them asks. "Zyair Holmes, age seventeen. I'm Doctor John Walton, his guardian. He's overdosed on Lorazepam and has been in cardiac arrest for the last five minutes." John tells him.
The paramedics nod, opening the bag and pulling different things out "Mattheo, you can let go now." John says. Mattheo shakily nods and moves away, letting one of the paramedics to take over. One of the paramedics cut open Zyair's shirt as the other grabs the ambu bag and starts giving him oxygen "We need to get him to the hospital as soon as possible. H-He's not going to..." John trails off, tears in his eyes. Mattheo chokes back a sob "We will but we need to try and get him stable first." the first paramedic tells him, connecting Zyair to an ecg machine. "He doesn't have that sort of time, he needs his stomach pumped. I am not losing him." John glares. The paramedic looks at the ecg and grabs the stuff to put an IV in Zyair's arm, John trying to ignore the flat tone from the machine. There's a noise from the hallway making Mattheo look up to see Lestrade in the doorway "Gr-Greg." he stammers, looking back at what's happening. "What's happened?" Lestrade asks, going over and putting an arm round Mattheo. "He's overdosed." John responds, not looking away from what he's doing. "Oh God." Lestrade mumbles. "Okay, we need to get him on the gurney." the second paramedic tells the first, putting a syringe into Zyair's IV. "We need to stabilise him first." the first disagrees, looking at the ecg machine. "We're not going to stabilise him here. We need to get him to the hospital otherwise he will die." the second retorts.
Mattheo lets out a broken sob, Lestrade holding him close "Wait to see if the medication takes affect first." the first says, looking at the ecg. The monitor changes making John look at it "We need to shock him." the second paramedic says, pulling the defib over. John moves back from Zyair, breathing heavily from exhaustion, as the second paramedic gets ready to shock Zyair "Clear." he says, shocking the teen. John immediately looks at the monitor "No, please Zyair. Don't you dare give up on us." he tells him as the monitor goes flat again. "We need to get him to the hospital, we can't wait any longer." the second paramedic tells the first. "Okay, on three we get him onto the gurney." the first concedes. Mattheo lets out another sob as the paramedics get Zyair onto the gurney, wheeling him out to the ambulance "Come on Mattheo." Lestrade tells him gently, helping up and out to the ambulance.
The paramedics get Zyair in the back of the ambulance, refusing to let John go with them "You can meet us at the hospital." the first paramedic tells him. "I am not leaving him." John retorts. "We need space to work." the man tells him. "John, we'll lead them in my car. Get him to St Bart's quicker." Lestrade says. "O-Okay." John concedes, letting Lestrade get him and Mattheo in the car. Lestrade pulls away and starts speeding towards the hospital, his sirens blaring, as the ambulance follows. Mattheo stares at his shaking hands, tears streaming "I shouldn't have left him alone." he mumbles. "Mattheo, this is not your fault." John tells him. "He isn't, wasn't, in a good place earlier. I left him on his own. I should have stayed with him. I-I should have m-made sure he w-was okay." Mattheo cries. "Hey, none of us have been in a good place recently. Not since... but I know he's going to be okay. He's a fighter. He always has been." Lestrade tells him. "He's right, he's stronger than most people I was in the army with." John nods. Mattheo nods weakly, falling silent for the rest of the journey.
The three of them reach the hospital and run in, following the paramedics that are still working on Zyair "Sorry, you're going to have to wait here." a nurse tells them. Mattheo zones out and stares at the doors that Zyair is taken through "Mattheo. Hey, come on. Let's go to the relatives room." Lestrade tells him, gently guiding him down the hall. They walk into the relatives room and sit down, John sitting down and putting his head in his hands. Lestrade sits down next to him "I can't lose his Greg. Not after..." John trails off. "He's strong. He's a fighter, just like his dad." Lestrade tells him. Mattheo stares at the door, tears falling consistently. Molly and Mrs Hudson walk in "John!" Mrs Hudson says, John getting up and hugging her. "What happened?" Molly asks. "H-He overdosed." John responds. Mrs Hudson let's out a small sob into her handkerchief "Has anyone called Mycroft?" she asks. "Not yet." John responds. "I'll go call him and see if I can find anything on how Zyair is doing." Lestrade tells everyone, walking out the room. Molly sits next to Mattheo and puts an arm round him, letting the teen sob into her chest "I can't lose him." he tells her. "I know." Molly responds, holding him close.
Lestrade soon walks back in, Mycroft following "He already knew." he tells them. "Of course I bloody knew. Anytime anyone in the family is admitted I am immediately alerted." Mycroft says. "Any news?" Molly asks. "He's back with us, they're getting him stable and settled into his room." Mycroft responds. Mattheo lets out a relieved sob, John hugging him "We can head to his room once he's settled." Mycroft tells them. Mrs Hudson joins the hug "I'll go get us all some coffee." Molly says as she stands. "I'll come give you a hand." Lestrade tells her. "I'll come too." Mrs Hudson says, breaking away from the hug and following them out. Mattheo sits back down, John sitting next to him as Mycroft watches them "Were there no sighs?" he asks. "There have been sighs for a year Mycroft. Why do you think I've been trying to get him to talk to someone? Been trying to get him help?" John responds with a slight glare. "He won't even talk to us." Mattheo adds. "You didn't think to tell me?" Mycroft asks. "We can't even mention your name without Zyair going into a full blown attack. How'd you think he'd react if you turned up?" Mattheo retorts. "I could have done something." Mycroft tells them. "You already did." Mattheo glares. "Mattheo-" John starts. "No, we all know why this happened. Don't act like we don't. This happened because HE sold out his brother! Because HE told a psychopath everything he needed to know to break apart Zyair's entire world!" Mattheo cuts him off, storming out the room, pushing past the others as they get back.
Lestrade looks at Mycroft and John "What happened?" he asks. John shakes his head, going after Mattheo as Mycroft clenches his jaw. Mattheo stands down the hallway, running his hands through his hair "Hey, you should come back." John tells him as he walks over. "I can't be in the same room as Mycroft right now, I don't trust myself not to punch him." Mattheo responds. Molly walks over "You left before we could say anything. We can go see Zyair, he's still out but we can go to his room." she tells them. "Wh-Which room?" Mattheo asks. "208." Molly responds. Mattheo nods and immediately walks off, following the signs to Zyair's room. Walking in he sees Zyair out cold in his bed, still pale, with an oxygen mask over his face "Are you a relative?" a blonde nurse, with the name tag 'Mary', asks. "I-I'm his boyfriend." Mattheo responds. Mary smiles kindly "You can sit with him if you'd like. The doctor thinks he should wake up soon." she tells him. "Thank you." Mattheo tells her, sitting next to the bed and gently holding Zyair's hand. As Mary leaves, John arrives "Hey, the others are going to stay in the relatives room to give us some space. Mycroft left once he found out Zyair should be okay." he tells Mattheo, passing him his coffee. "Okay." Mattheo responds, gently brushing Zyair's hair out his eyes. John sighs "This is my fault. I should have pushed more to get him to see someone." he says. "No. It's not. He's too stubborn to listen, maybe now... maybe now he'll talk to someone. I don't know... I just... I just know I can't lose him." Mattheo tells him. "We're not going to lose him Mattheo. We're not. What we're going to do is talk to him and make sure he knows that he's not on his own, that he's loved and needed." John assures the teen, sitting next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.
Zyair starts shaking as the monitors start beeping rapidly "No, Zyair!" Mattheo shouts, tears falling. "We need help in here." John tells them outside the room. Immediately doctors and nurses rush in "Please Zyair." Mattheo sobs. "We need you to wait outside." Mary tells them gently. "N-No... Zy-Zyair... I need t-to stay wi-with him." Mattheo tells her, flinching as he watches what's happening. "You can as soon as we've got his stable. Promise." Mary tells him, gently guiding him to the door. "Come on Mattheo." John tells the teen gently. Mattheo lets John gently pull him from the room, Lestrade and Molly rushing down the hall to them "What's happened?" Lestrade asks. "H-He's crashed again." John responds, tears in his eyes as he holds Mattheo close to him. Molly puts a hand over her mouth, tears in her own eyes beginning to fall "He'll pull through... he has to." she says, Lestrade putting a hand on her shoulder. "He's a fighter." Lestrade says, sounding like he's trying to convince himself. Mattheo's legs give way as a broken sob leaves him, John holding him up and gently sitting him down on a chair "I got you Mattheo. I got you." he soothes, letting the teen cry into his chest.
After nearly an hour, the doctors and nurses leave the room "Doctor Watson?" a doctor asks. "Y-Yeah, that's me. How is he?" John asks, getting up. "We've got him stable for the time being. The amount of medication he took caused his body to try and shut down, we've got him on a drip to try and clear his system for any we didn't get when we pumped his stomach. If he wakes up I'll get a child psychologist to come and see him, start getting him some help with how he's feeling." the doctor explains. "Wh-What do you mean 'if'?" Mattheo asks shakily. "Although we have him stable he is extremely weak, he could become unstable very quickly." he explains. "Can we go in to see him?" John asks. "Of course." the doctor nods. Mattheo immediately goes back into Zyair's room, retaking his seat next to his bed "I'm here Mi Amor. I'm not leaving you here alone." he tells his boyfriend, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles gently.
As morning breaks, Mattheo feels Zyair's hand move slightly "Mi Amor?" he asks, making John perk up from his seat the opposite side of the bed. "Zyair?" John asks, getting a slight groan in response "I'll go find the nurse." John says, getting up and rushing out the room. Zyair's eyes flutter slightly as he groans "Shhh, you're alright Mi Anor." Mattheo soothes, stroking the back of Zyair's hand with his thumb. John walks back in with Mary as Zyair's eyes open "Hey Zyair, you're alright." John tells him as Mary starts looking at Zyair's chart. "Wh-What...?" Zyair mumbles, out of it. "Y-You..." Mattheo trails off, his voice breaking. "We'll talk about it later." John tells him, gently squeezing Zyair's shoulder. Mary walks closer "Hi Zyair, I'm Mary your nurse. I'm just going to check you over and check your vitals." she tells him. "Okay...just so you know. John likes you, can tell by the way he's standing and looking at you." Zyair mumbles. "Zyair!" John groans, shaking his head "Sorry about that, he's-" he starts. "I know who he is and for the record, I'm only a standing in today for another nurse. Which means I can do this." Mary smiles, writing her number down and passing it to John who smiles in response. "Told you." Zyair mumbles. "I'll be back to check on you later, if you need anything you know where to find me." Mary says, walking out the room.
A couple weeks later
Zyair sits curled up on the sofa, Mattheo playing with his hair as they watch a movie "Are you sure you're going to be alright tonight?" John asks for the fifth time. "Yes, go have fun with Mary. You deserve a night out with everything you've been through the last couple weeks." Zyair tells him, a guilty look appearing on his face. "Hey, no one is blaming you for what happened Zyair. You're going through a tough time but you're already doing better. Remember what we said?" John asks. "It's an uphill battle but it can be won." Zyair responds. "Right. At the minute your just on a really steep bit but you're not alone Zyair, I'm here to help you, so is Mattheo, Greg, Molly and Mrs Hudson. Even Mary cares about you, she messages each day to check on how you're doing." John explains. Zyair nods "Okay." he says, leaning into Mattheo's arms. "I'm going to be late. I'll see you both later, try not to burn the house down." John tells the teens, pulling on his shoes. "No promises." Zyair and Mattheo joke, making John give them both an exasperated look as he leaves the flat. Mattheo smiles slightly snd kisses the top of Zyair's head "You want to order a pizza and go up to bed for cuddles?" he asks as the movie finishes. "Sounds like a plan." Zyair agrees with a small smile.