Chapter Fourteen
Maryalind
I was standing beside my front door, looking out at the night sky. Waiting for Kale sometimes was agonizing, especially times like these when I had no idea what we were doing.
I kept debating whether or not I should change. Right now, I was wearing some dark skinny jeans with a sweatshirt and converse. Kale said to dress warm, but was this too relaxed? My hair was now reaching to the bottom of my neck. I hated saying I had a bob hairstyle, because it made me think I was a vulnerable little girl again. Even if my hair was straightened, it didn’t help the look of how much of a bum I am.
A car horn blared outside just as I was about to change. Sighing, I made sure my phone was in my pocket before leaving. I skipped towards his truck which was pulled in my driveway. He grinned when he saw me, making my stomach erupt into butterflies. When I closed his door behind me, I found him holding out a bandana.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I whined, looking at Kale pleadingly.
He shook his head and motioned for me to come over. He tied it on my head as he replied, “It’s a surprise until we get there.”
“I hate you,” I lied. Kale laughed, obviously knowing I was bluffing.
The drive took forever. I pleaded the whole way for him to give me a hint, but he didn’t. Stupid boy! However, I wasn’t even panic that he had huge advantages over me: he was bigger, stronger, and had me trapped, blindfolded in his car. Of course, my mom knew I was with him, but she trusted him enough to know he wouldn’t hurt me. Or at least she hoped he wouldn’t hurt me.
The vehicle finally pulled into a still motion, and I went to grab the back of my bandana that was covering my vision when Kale pulled my hand away. “No, no. I still have to help you out of the car.”
“I really do hate you.” I muttered.
He chuckled before replying, “I know.”
When I was led out of the truck, I finally got my vision back. Everything was really dark at first, but my eyes adjusted. I looked around to find us in the middle of nowhere. I turned to Kale and raised my eyebrows. “Care to explain?”
He held his hand out for me, which I took, and led me towards the forest. I started to silently panic. He could do anything he wanted to me right now, and nobody would have a clue. He could rape and kill me, and nobody would ever know.
All worries and doubts faded when I saw what he set up. In front of me and him was a cleared out part of the woods. Little lanterns were scattered among the branches around the small oval shaped area. A fire sat in the middle, already glowing with heat, and a blanket sat beside it with a picnic basket in the middle. I felt tears prickle my eyes. I looked up at Kale, making them fall down my cheeks. Ignoring the lump in my throat, I whispered, “You did all this?”
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he replied, “With a little help from your mother.”
I let him tug me towards the blanket as I took everything in. The lights among the trees gave off a dreamy mood, and everything felt so surreal. I positioned myself next to Kale on the blanket, but towards the fire for warmth. Kale’s gaze was practically burning through me, but I tried not to notice.
“This is all really sweet, Kale, but why did you do it? Why not just take me to dinner at Applebee’s?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I had your mother make your favorites.” He said, ignoring my question. I looked at the contents of the picnic basket that were now sprawled out on the blanket. Chicken, Dorritos, and Pepsi. Macaroni and cheese was in a small bowl as well. I looked at everything with hungry eyes. Without asking for permission, I grabbed a can of Pepsi and a bowl of Macaroni and cheese. I stuffed my face with it, letting go of any worries of my lack of manners.
An hour later, we were both full and laying on the blanket, looking up at the stars. He showed me the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, which I had a hard time finding. I couldn’t see the connection until Kale instructed me how. His hand was intertwined with mine, giving me small butterflies. I tried to ignore them, but I was failing miserably.
“Thank you for tonight, Kale. I really enjoyed it.”
“No problem. I actually did have a reason for bringing you here.” He whispered. I turned towards him and looked into those icy blue eyes. How could I have not fallen for him when I first saw him?
“And what’s that?” I replied in the same hushed tone. My voice was unsteady because of his intense gaze. I just didn’t understand how he could have such an effect on me. I never thought of myself as one of those hopeless romantic girls, yet I was completely acting like one.
He positioned himself to a sitting position, and I did the same. Our eyes were locked as he played with my fingers unconsciously. “Maryalind Barnes, when I first met you, I didn’t know what to think. Well, I thought you were hot, but aside from that I was clueless. Here was this strong woman who was twice as beautiful as she was strong. Days passed, and I found myself falling more and more for you. You had me wrapped around your finger, and I knew that very well. I would have never thought I would have found someone so amazing and perfect. When you opened up to me, I didn’t see anything but strength in the way you carried yourself with such confidence despite all you’ve been through. I love making you laugh, and I love the moments when you open up and let me in. I just enjoy being in your presence. Maryalind, I can’t imagine my future without you. With all that said, will you be my girlfriend?”
My mouth popped open into an O as I processed his last sentence. Definitely didn’t see that one coming! His words slowly sunk into my brain, but my insecurities crept in, too. Why? Why would he want me? I was just some girl that had emotional issues. Fear coiled in the pit of my stomach about the fact he might think of me as just a one day fling that he could use and then get rid of. Where that would leave me?
Used.
Confused.
Heartbroken.
I really do like, okay love, Kale; as a friend and possibly more. I was just afraid of losing him. He was my shoulder to cry on. He was the one in whom I confided my deepest secrets and trusted to keep them safe. He was my savior, my crush, and my best friend. The thought that haunted me at nights was losing him.
With all that in mind, I looked up into his hopeful eyes. Without a pang of regret, I replied, “No.”
“But why? Mare, you and I both know we are perfect for each other. You and I both know this is best for us. So why can’t you give me that? Why can’t you just say yes and be mine.” He begged, using that agonizing, whiny voice of his when I didn’t give him what he really wanted. His blue eyes pleaded with mine, but already made up my mind.
“Kale, I can’t risk losing you. It would-”
“Who says anything about losing me?” He raised his voice slightly, cutting me off. “I love you, Mare.”
Oh no. Not the ‘I love you’ crap already. Soon we will be sitting on our front porch in the country playing bingo with each other as our children stop by to change our diapers. I looked away from his eyes and into the forest. I hated seeing his face when I shot him down. “Kale, I can’t. I love you too, but I can’t. You are my best friend and everything I need right now. I need you to stay here, and I’m not ready for the idea of you not always being here. Relationships ruin friendships. I- I want to say yes, I really do. I just can’t do this. I can’t risk this. You are too important to me.”
“Oh just shut up, say yes, and kiss me.” He growled. I stared at him for a moment, trying and failing to resist his begging and demanding, which was, frankly, quite cute. A smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as I nodded, agreeing to be his.
“Yes, Kale. But you have to promise me that this won’t ruin us.” I begged. Wow, and here I thought I could hold my own against him!
A full out, creepy, stalkerish grin swept across Kale’s face, and pure adoration and passion swept into his eyes as he tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms down beside me. I giggled at his sudden reaction as he planted kisses along my jawline. He rested his head in the crook of my neck, and I sighed happily.
“I promise, Mare.” He whispered, giving me goosebumps from the moving of his lips. He lifted his head up to mine, and planted his lips on mine.
At first, the kiss was hungry and needy. Our mouths worked in sync, moving like they were practically sewn together. After rough kissing, it turned slow. It was like we finally realized we had each other for as long as we wanted.
He finally pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. We panted from our first kiss as a couple, sucking each gulp of air greedly. I looked at his eyes, letting him mesmerize me. I was so unsure about it. I did know two things, though.
1. I loved Kale. I would forever love him.
2. I knew he would never hurt me. And that, my friends, was the best feeling for a girl like me.
She sat there, cold and emotionless. Some whiny screamo song on high blast couldn’t even drown her thoughts. Fear, sorrow, pain, guilt; it all ran through her veins. Each blink she took, her eyelids became heavier and heavier. The only thoughts she had were: How? Why? Is there any other way? She had all the answers to those questions. How? Well, things always seemed so natural and easy for him. This was something that she was expecting. Why? He meant to hurt her. Is there any other way? No, this was the only way to hide the pain. She was tired. Tired of the pain she suffered through the past week silently; tired of feeling so alone in a sea of people. What choice did she have now? He hated her and probably wanted her dead. Why not do the job for herself? She would be assured the job would be done her way. After all, if she was leaving this world early, she was going to do it her way. She reached for the cold metal object inside the plastic bag. This would just make it easier. This object was her savior. This object was a blade.
Author Note: The italic paragraph above it a flash-forward. This is similiar to a flashback, but instead, it takes place in the future rather than the past. This was just to clear up some confusion many readers have had.