Pedro: Hey Clementine. How's your day going?
Emi: Clementine?
Pedro: What? It's small, vibrant, sweet, and it's even got your name in it.
Emi: That last part is a bit of a reach.
Pedro: Just wait until you hear me say it in person. You'll change your mind. Speaking of in person, when can I see you again?
He was skilled in the art of making me grin at my phone. It had been a little over a week since that rainy day date and we had been texting regularly. Of course, we both had work and other social obligations that prevented us from constant contact, but moments like this were satisfying.
"You're looking extra cheerful today. Any good news?" Lane noted.
We were getting ready for a three artist exhibition. Her suite of large paintings would be alongside ceramic sculptures from another artist, and wall-bound plasticine reliefs as well as a large-scale inflatable sculpture from a different artist. The goal was to display three distinct art mediums to reveal the impact of Kawaii culture on artists from different backgrounds. It was a large undertaking since I was the only curator on this exhibit, so I had spent the morning writing emails and drafting the mission statement of the installation.
"Not work related." I smiled at her and put my phone back on my desk.
"Ooh, you know, it's been a while since we got drinks." She said as she placed a large canvas against the wall. "What time are you off again?"
I took a sip of my matcha latte while checking the time on my computer, "In a few hours. I'm just waiting to hear back from Kochi, Samuel and Arturo."
There was no real distinction between the office space and the loading dock. It was all one large room in the back that had an open area for incoming and outgoing art, a few desks with computers, boxes scattered throughout and some filing cabinets. Lane stood on the ledge of the large roll-up garage door that enabled some of the bigger pieces to be transported directly from the back of moving trucks.
"I don't mind waiting around. I just have a few more paintings to bring in." She smiled then turned around and hopped off the ledge.
****
Lane sat across from me in the booth. "So, what's going on? Are you seeing someone new?"
"Yeah, his name's Pedro. He's kind of the whole package. But I met him on a dating app so I'm not exactly sure what the parameters are."
"I was hoping you had your gay awakening but I'm here for this. Tell me everything." Lane was adept at holding space and making people feel seen and heard. Her attention to detail and awareness of nuance not only made her a great artist, but a great friend too.
I lost track of time as I recounted the details of our encounters and my thought processes throughout. After a couple of drinks, and some goading from Lane, I divulged what happened in the bathroom. She asked what happened afterwards, and I thought about his arms wrapped around me, lips peppering me with kisses.
He had said, "We look good together, don't you think?" and I agreed. With that he effortlessly switched gears and deescalated the intensity into something soothing and natural. Again, it made me think this could be the beginning of something. The rain had let up a bit by that time, so instead of ordering in we went to a ramen place near where my car was parked. He waited with me as the service provider from AAA retrieved my keys. It was hard to part ways, but he asked me to text him when I got home and he kissed me sweetly before guiding me into my car and closing the door once I was inside. I found myself sighing frequently as I drove home. Already reliving the way he looked at me, the feeling of his touch, the sound of his laughter.
I expressed to Lane that while I was elated Pedro wanted to see me again, I still felt cautious and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because I thought I was falling for him? Or that I'd be tempted to act on my impulses once I was in his presence again? It felt too early for either possibility.
Lane had a curious look on her face as she finished her second drink. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yes, please." I replied a bit exasperated, "I've been so in my head about this. It would help to have an outside perspective."
"Do you think that being intimate and being taken seriously as a prospective partner can only exist separately?"
I paused, letting her words sink in. "Holy shit. Yeah, I think I do."
"Another question?" She asked before taking a sip of water.
"Please."
"Do you think that idea is rooted in the past or in the present?"
"That one's a bit harder," I laughed, "I might need a moment."
"Take your time." She sat back in the booth, "I can share my thoughts with you when you're ready."
"Go ahead, I'd love your perspective."
She leaned forward with her arms on the table, "Well, it sounds like this has potential, right? Whether it's a fling or something more, who knows. You never really know with someone. But I think that your past experiences with men have led you to believe that it's either all about sex or taking it seriously, and that this app in particular lends itself to the former. Even when you're in control, you're not taking them seriously and that's ok." She paused to gauge my reaction. I nodded for her to continue.
"This thing with Pedro though, it has you wanting both and that's confusing for you, right? It's new. He seems thoughtful and attentive, and yeah maybe a bit cheeky but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. We love a little flavor." She smiled, "I don't think this idea of them being separate comes from him. I think it's coming from you and your past experiences. How does that land?"
"Honestly," I took a deep breath, "Incredibly accurate."
"I don't know much about heterosexual relationships but I like to think I know a thing or two about connection." She smiled, and leaned back again.
"You do." I laughed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was funny how I hadn't been able to see that before, but what would that mean moving forward?
"Would you like my advice?" Lane asked, picking up on my internal reflection.
I nodded, eager to hear more.
"I think you should go for it. Explore this connection and be open to the different ways it manifests. Check in with yourself and communicate with him. If you want to fuck, then fuck. If you want to get out and share experiences, go to museums, restaurants, movies, whatever. Do it. Just be yourself and be present. I don't know about you, but relationships are a lot easier when I'm not in my head." She laughed and took another sip of water.
"I'm just worried that it's too early to have sex."
"What's so wrong with that?" Lane laughed, "I had sex with Stell pretty early on and we're coming up on four years together. Call me hedonistic, but I think it's better to pursue what's going to bring you pleasure than torturing yourself. Plus, you really need to get laid given how stressful work has been and, my god I can't believe I'm saying this, but from what you described that sounded almost as good as lesbian sex. And you guys didn't even have sex!"
My cheeks turned bright right and we were both laughing, "Maybe you're right." I said through a laugh before calming down,"Hey, thank you for listening and giving me such great feedback."
"Of course, I'm happy to be here for you." Lane smiled, wiping a tear away from her eye. It wasn't that funny, but the alcohol helped.
"Have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?" I asked.
"Fuck no." She said loudly and we both resumed our fit of laughter. "now lets get some more drinks."
****
Emi: How about tonight? My place?
Pedro: Have you been drinking?
Emi: Just a few after work.
Pedro: I'm honored you think I'm booty call material but I'd rather drink with you than be an afterthought.
Emi: You're not an afterthought. I've missed you.
Emi: Can I Facetime you when I get home?
Pedro: You're not driving are you?
Emi: No, I took an uber.
Pedro: Ok. Yeah we can Facetime, just let me know when.
Lane and I had a few more drinks and they seemed to hit me all at once. I wasn't wasted but I definitely wasn't sober. We had spent several hours together, talking about relationships, art, plans we had for the future. She was great company but she could handle her liquor better than me. After I saw Pedro's text I put my phone in my tote bag and looked out the window. The ride was only twenty-five minutes long but it felt like forever. When I was finally dropped off, I thanked my driver before heading inside. I wanted to call Pedro immediately, but I stopped myself and changed into something comfortable first.
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Hiiii, kind of a filler chapter but also important! I thought it was time to introduce another character and give a little more insight into Emi's world outside of Pedro...but then I had to bring it back haha. Hope you guys like this one! I'm going to try to get at least one more chapter out this week so stay tuned!
You already know what I'm about to say lol, if you liked the chapter or if you have any feedback, or even want to share ideas about what's going to happen next please vote or comment! Votes help me know if you like the story and comments kind of guide the process for what works and what doesn't. <3 thanks for reading this far and I hope you enjoy!!!
Also ! This is what I imagine Lane to look like: