x
I never meant for it to happen.
I swear.
I never meant to rush out of the room at the sight of her lifeless, crooked body sprawled over the plush carpet of the chambers.
I never meant to.
I just panicked. I panicked, okay?
Now every morning, I wake up to the familiar feeling of guilt.
Growing up, it was made known to the world that I was special. Sure, I wasn't the golden child like Avery. And sure, I didn't have mother doting on me like she did on Tyson. In fact, for some reason, Mother always looked at me with disgust. I never understood. I never did until I met Gabriella Jontas.
Still, I knew I was special. Daddy always told me that. You're special, Shannon. That's what he'd always say. When I asked him why, he never gave me a direct answer. By the time I was a freshman at Queens Erlington Academy, I thought I had my answer.
Gloria was the first to mature her body. We all noticed that summer. I mean, how could we not after she made such a big deal about it? But I realized that I noticed it in a different way.
Needless to say, I pieced it together very quickly.
I liked boys and girls.
I think Avery always knew. I also think that's why I was more protective of him than Tyson because Avery always protected me. He looked out for me. Tyson? Tyson never gave me the time of the day. I think Mother whispered many things in his ears about me.
I went through my first year of high school suppressing half of my feelings. When Helen and Blake got together, our group sort of formed together. Helen, Kalina, Gloria, Satin, and I grew up together, although Satin had been an outsider for quite a while. Blake, Cole, Avery, and Mason made up the boys.
At that point, we weren't officially blue bloods. The older students had not left, but everyone knew we would be next in line.
Cole and I went on a few dates. Nothing serious yet. He was sweet with me. Funny. A side that he never showed much to everyone else. I grew up with him so I never doubted his feelings for me.
Still, I never liked him as much as I liked Clara Jane Laurence Sinclair. Meeting her was like being caught up in wildfire. Chaotic, burning, but beautiful.
She was my best friend.
I chose her.
I thought I'd choose her for the rest of my life.
I broke it off with Cole. He never asked why, but I sometimes wondered if he had always known about Clara Jane and I.
Clara Jane was Clara to me. Always. She'd tell me how she hated anyone else calling me Clara because that was the name only I could use to address her.
Our relationship managed to stay secret until one day, the day Ella died, on the plane, Clara Jane dragged me to a private cabin. I was a little tipsy by then, but happy. I loved parties. Especially parties on Blue Blood Island. Who didn't?
"Hey," I murmured, as Clara Jane shut the door. But any trace of delight washed away from me when I caught the furious look on her face.
"She knows."
I stood still, uncomprehending. "What?"
"Ella Jontas," Clara Jane snapped, stumbling when the private jet hit some altitude. "She knows about...us."
Suddenly, the urge to barf rose. "What?"
Everything started to feel like it was coming down around me. No. No one could know. This would ruin my reputation. I would be shunned. I would be laughed at. I would lose everything and everyone around me. My family would be humiliated.
Was this what Father meant by me being special?
"Did you tell her?" Clara Jane practically yelled, a crazed look taking over her. "Did you tell her, Shannon, because that would be incredibly stupid even for you!"
Tears suddenly leaked down my cheeks at her hurtful words. Everyone thought I was a dumb blonde, but it never mattered to me. But it was coming from Clara Jane this time.
I whispered in disbelief, "How could you say that to me, Clara?"
Realization filled her emerald eyes and she tried to reach out in apology. I flinched away and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Shannon. It's just- that bitch tried to blackmail me."
"What?" This time, anger filled my stomach. "Ella? Are you sure? She's our best friend. She wouldn't do that...would she?"
"She wanted me to force you to vote for her for being a blue blood," Clara Jane grimaced. "Otherwise, she'll leak a video of us..."
Anger practically blinded me. "I'm telling Avery-"
"No," Clara Jane snapped, grabbing me in a way that almost hurt. "You cannot tell another soul."
"But Avery-"
"Your brother is a schemer, Shannon!" Clara Jane yelled, gluing me to the spot with her tone. "He'll ruin us either way."
I fell silent, biting my lips. "Fine. I'll vote for her."
The silence that fell between us was awful. What else could I do? This was the only option.
"She'll have that on us forever," Clara Jane murmured, staring at the wall in hatred. "She'll hold it over our heads forever, Shannon."
"She could have just asked me," I whispered, wiping away the tears and hysteria. "I would have said yes if she asked me just now."
"But would you have a few months ago?" Clara Jane pointed out.
"No," I admitted. "No I wouldn't. But she grew on me."
"Me too," Clara Jane mumbled. I could read the anger in her eyes but also the envy. I've known for a long time that she has wanted to be a blue blood. Everyone did. "I wish I never let her anywhere near me. I should have seen the desperation that she reeks."
"I helped plan this party for her!"
That night, I avoided Ella. I knew she knew Clara Jane had told me. What she did not know was that I kept an eye on her. Long enough to see her follow my brother upstairs. The sight brought rage to me and I stumbled through the partying crowd to stop her from corrupting my brother.
Curiously, though, my brother led her into a room. My brother would be the last person seen with Ella. Why the hell did he let her take him upstairs?
I pressed my ear to the door and listened.
"Did you come to embarrass yourself a third time?" Avery murmured and my spine snapped straight.
She had already tried blackmailing him twice?
"You know," Ella said lightly, "I realized how foolish I've been."
"Didn't I tell you that I hated liars? You're lying to me right now."
"You're right," Ella giggled, and I strained to listen harder. "You know, I've managed to blackmail every single one of you."
From Avery's response, he didn't seem surprised, even though it made my stomach fall to the ground. She played all of us. "Everyone but me."
"Ah, but that's because I went in blindly without knowing what your weakness is," Ella muttered. "You care about her, don't you?"
"Who?" Avery sounded mildly amused but I've known him long enough to hear the steel in his voice. He hated people like Ella. Now it made sense why he never liked or welcomed her like we all did.
"Shannon."
I flinched away, stumbling back. Then, I scrambled back to listen, pressing a hand to my heart. Should I barge in? Should I interrupt? No matter what, though, I stayed glued to the spot.
"Is this about her relationship with Clara Jane? Because that has no hold on me."
Ella laughed in a way that felt like she was seducing my brother. "Oh no, but I'm surprised you know. Clara would never let anyone know."
It grated on my nerves to hear her call Clara Jane with my nickname for her.
My brother merely looked at her. "You should leave before you humiliate yourself on your birthday."
I wrapped my fingers around the door handle, about to walk in and deal with Ella myself, but then Ella said "You know, Avery, your sister has really interesting eyes."
I stilled, the hand on the door stopping instantly.
"They're special."
A flashback of my father saying to me that I was special came back. My eyes...
Ella's grin widened. "Genetics don't lie."
Avery gritted, "Didn't you fail the normal biology course?"
My stomach dropped to my feet.
"You have those silver eyes everyone moons over. Your little brother does too. I never got to see much of them, though. He closes his eyes when he kisses," Ella laughed, flouncing around the room. "But your sister. Blue, electric eyes. I never thought much about it, but then I remembered that your mother was the one with the Dragomir trademark genes. Your father? Rumor has it he's a cheater."
I faintly heard glass shattering over the floor because I felt like I was drowning.
No.
"She's not a Dragomir, is she?" Ella whispered. "She's a bastard."
I expected more sounds of items being shattered but it was so silent you could hear a pin drop.
"You know what I want, Avery." The footsteps grew louder towards the door and I hurried to rush away, though I could barely see through the stream of tears blinding me. "You will cast your vote or everyone will know that your sister is a product of an affair."
x
The room was silent when Ella walked into the room with Gloria.
I wondered if she could feel the hatred radiating off of every person in this room.
Did she not know that actions have consequences?
"So," Ella said excitedly and obliviously, taking a seat at the head of the table, where Gloria was going to sit. "What game are you talking about, Gloria?"
The flash of anger on Gloria's face disappeared when Ella looked to her. Gloria took the seat next to Ella and smiled brilliantly, which earned a snort from Cole that went unnoticed by only Ella. "Well, it's tradition to play a game before your initiation?"
"Initiation?" Ella asked with a sly glint in her eyes.
"The initiation to being a blue blood."
Ella all but squealed out of excitement. However, it dimmed when she glanced around. "Where's Avery?"
No one seemed to want to acknowledge or even respond to that but Kalina finally gritted out, "He cast his vote, Ella, but he said he wasn't feeling well. He won't be joining us tonight."
Everyone knew that Avery didn't want to be here because he didn't think Ella was worth his time.
I caught the anger flashing in Ella's eyes. My brother had humiliated her for the third time today. Still, she said, in a controlled tone, "Well, I suppose-"
"I'm not feeling great either," Kalina interrupted, standing up. She threw Gloria and indecipherable look. "I think I caught the same thing from Avery since we share the same symptoms."
"Oh yeah?" Ella challenged, staring at Kalina in a way that confirmed she had something over her. "What's that?"
Kalina stared at Ella for a long moment before sneering. "The symptom of I don't give a fuck, Ella."
She slammed the door before anyone could protest. Ella, however, wasn't having it.
"Careful," she said to me as I started to get up from my chair. "I wouldn't want to have to deal with any of you either. Avery and Kalina will already be a handful."
Insane. Ella Jontas was insane over popularity.
"What's the game, Gloria?" Ella snapped as if she were her maid. "Hurry up. We don't have all night."
Gloria lifted her chin and for a moment, I thought she would tell her to fuck herself as well, but she only smiled in obedience. "It's called You Choose, We Ask."
I knew something was wrong instantly because that wasn't a game. Still, I wasn't about to say anything.
"How do you play?"
Gloria gestured to Mason, who tossed bags of powder and pills onto the table. Blake brought hard vodka. "One person will choose to do one of the options available. Then, we'll ask a question. Then it continues until someone backs out."
"And what happens when they back out?" Ella tilted her had, excitement rising in her eyes. I, for one, did not feel eager to play.
"They either ask questions or they leave the room."
"Great," Ella rubbed her hands together and I could only see a greedy girl, "Let's play."
x
When I woke up groggily, I saw bright red hair.
"Clara Jane?" I murmured, lifting my head. Clara Jane must have waited for me to wake up and fell asleep herself. "But where-"
I realized I was in the bedroom of the room we played You Choose, I Drink. Suddenly, the memories crashed into me and I realized only a few hours had passed. But last time I checked, Ella...
That's when I saw a hand in the corner of my vision. Then, an arm. A body. My eyes widened at the sight of a lifeless body and blood trickling down the forehead.
"Clara," I started, feeling the hysteria rise up my chest. "Clara!"
She woke up instantly, eyes flying open at my tone of urgency. "W-What-" She caught sight of the girl on the carpet, bleeding out. "Oh my God."
"We have to go." I was crying now, my chest heaving. "S-She- I think she's dead, Clara. She's dead."
"How?"
I wracked my brain for any recollection of why this happened but I had no idea. All I remembered was a lot of drinking and questions. I must have blacked out sometime. I shook my head in response.
Clara Jane snapped out of her trance and gripped my hand. She dragged me off the bed and then faced me in all seriousness. "Where is everybody?"
"I-I don't know."
"Fuck," Clara Jane swore, panic flying in her eyes.
"We have to help her, Clara. She could still be-"
"Look at her, Shannon! Can you for once in your life think?"
That hurt so much that I stopped breathing.
I was dumb in her eyes too.
"Do you know how this looks like? They'll blame it on us. They'll blame everything on us. That's why they left, Shannon. That's why-" Clara Jane took a deep breath. "We were never here, okay?"
I gazed up at her, confused, disoriented, and scared out of my mind. "W-What?"
"We're going to leave this room and pretend we were never here."
"B-But-"
Clara Jane grabbed my shoulders and stared at me with so much intensity that it scared me. "I don't give a fuck Shannon. We were never here and we have no idea about this, okay?"
I nodded, shaking and trembling, but trusting her enough to let her pull me out of the room. Still, I could not stop looking back as Clara Jane practically dragged me out of the room.
This night changed everything for me. I could no longer look at the scarlet colored hair girl that I love the same. I could no longer sleep without seeing blood and Gabriella Jontas' face of despair.
As Clara Jane shut the door, I could have sworn that I saw Ella's chest rise.
But then again, I swore I had nothing to do with her death the very next day.
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