Winter came early this year. It's still mid-November, but the temperature already dropped to 2 degree Celsius. Gloomy clouds filled the sky barricading the warm sunlight from reaching the ground. Citizens of Seoul in unison started to wear thicker jackets, scarves, and hand gloves as they went through their day. Warm soups, porridge, and jjigae restaurant filled from breakfast to dinner, as the people desperate for warmth. Dried persimmon became riped and available in every market throughout the country.
Moonbyul was boredly watching Solar cooking Doenjang-jjigae as per her request. She craved fermented soybean paste stew today. She was idled minding her own business. But her presence bothered the chef.
"Ya, why don't you help me instead of doing nothing?" Solar said to her without looking.
"Don't want to. It's your turn to cook today,"
"Fine, help me prepare the table then. And take out some side dishes from the refrigerator. Our moms was kind enough to give us some supplies,"
Moonbyul obeyed the instruction. Well, setting the table won't make her hair or hands smelly, if she's careful. She thought she can do as much.
It was true. After the four kids went back to their respective homes a few weeks ago, each of their parents gave side dishes that can last for a month. Everyone's mood increased after having spent some quality time with family. Now it's business as usual.
Moonbyul and Solar have reconciled. After Ha-neul incident and the long hug in the park, they became closer than before. Neither apologized nor pried into the topic anymore, they rather swipe things under the rug than open up. Skinship became more comfortable and natural between them. Most of the time, Solar initiated the first touch. She would hold Moonbyul's hand if either of them felt anxious, she hugged Moonbyul easily when they fool around during dance practice, and she used coldness as an excuse to cuddle with Moonbyul at night.
It wasn't necessarily a lie though. Their shitty apartment is scorching hot during summer and piercing cold during winter. These four side walls are doing a crappy job of protecting them from the weather. The four girls were forced to double their clothing even inside the apartment. They don't take daily showers because the cold bathroom water was too much to handle.
"Girls, dinner is ready," Solar called over to Hwasa and Wheein who lounge around their futons.
"Okay," "Thanks, unnie," They answered at once.
Everyone sat around the table and started eating.
"Unnie, there's no chicken inside?" Wheein asked as she mixed her jjigae with rice.
"Yeah, we finished those yesterday."
"Do we still have some money left to buy it tomorrow?" Hwasa asked.
They made a pact to collect grocery money every week and kept it in a jar above the refrigerator. Unfortunately, the jar was often half full. Therefore, they had to be smart about cooking ingredients to buy each time; exchanging expensive protein for nutritious vegetable alternatives like tofu, seitan, beans, or broccoli.
"We have some money left. But our seasonings are almost gone. I think we should buy gochujang, sesame oil, fish sauce, and green onion instead," Solar replied.
Wheein made a whiney noise, "Can we just buy a tree of money instead? I'm sick of being penniless,"
Moonbyul snickered, "Do you have a fairy connection? If so, we can buy them,"
"If I have a fairy connection, I wouldn't be stuck here with you, unnie,"
Hwasa cooed her best friend teasingly, "Baby don't say things like that. Aren't you glad at least we're stuck here with only one more team to beat before debut? We're pretty lucky to be stuck together with these two talented unnies,"
It's true. One more team was eliminated yesterday. RBW management decided to speed up the audition process. By early December, the company would pick one team to debut in summer next year. Anticipation was high in the office. With each day, more staff were hired and new faces were introduced to them. The lessons taught were more interesting and on-hand. They got a schedule for basic songwriting and arrangement next week. The goal was to learn more about their composing talent and ability. It was imperative for them to be able to at least give input on songs because RBW is a small company, they won't be able to always hire music experts each time they need to tweak things in their favor.
"I knoow, I like you all, I just wish we can debut soon and get out of this miserable lifestyle," Wheein pouted.
"Anyway," Moonbyul interrupted with a new topic to avoid the depressing mood, "Do-hoon Daepyonim seemed so down these days, no?"
"Stressed most likely," Supplied Solar.
"He's probably handling too much at once. They did promise us to choose the debut team in three weeks," Added Hwasa.
"I actually saw something yesterday.." Moonbyul words piqued everyone's interest.
"What?" "Hm, gossip," "Spill," They parroted.
Looking around the table in suspense, Moonbyul told her story, "I was on my way to the bathroom on the second floor when I saw him by the window talking on the phone. He seemed angry and desperate. He kept yelling, 'how could you do this to me?!' over and over to whoever called. I eavesdropped for a while. I think it was about money,"
"Omo," "Daebak," They commented.
"I wonder if he has bad debt or something," Wheein said.
"That's possible," Hwasa agreed.
"Well, I don't really care if he's in debt. As long as it doesn't affect our debut," Solar shrugged her shoulders.
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The next few weeks went by in a flash. True to their words, the important announcement took place in the first week of December. The company decided to choose Moonbyul, Solar, Wheein, and Hwasa as the members to debut next year. They won over the other team by merely 2 votes. The girl group concepts between the two had clear differences. The four girls promoted vocal talent and strong stage performance, while the five members girl group focused on the standard method; beauty, feminine charms, and likableness. The management had to choose the direction of the company, either to press forward with the popular demand or with the indisputable talent.
At the end of the day, talent defeats the opposition.
The four girls cried at the announcement and bowed in thankfulness to the board of management who took a chance on them.
Within short days, the CEO decided on their girl band name, MAMAMOO.
Instead of having celebratory days off, the girls became busier than before. Gone were the free days long enough for them to go visit their parents. Social media interactions were monitored, leisure hours during practice were reduced, new meals and diet plans created differently for each individual, and song creation became the first priority.
Hwasa's talent in composing was praised by the CEO. The girl showed potential after just a few days of taking the class. Do-hoon praised the girl in front of everyone to encourage her to cultivate more technicalities; he added good-naturedly, "Learn diligently so one day you could surpass the number of songs I've made!"
It boosts Hwasa's confidence.
Practice, training, composing, and work overall went smoothly for a few weeks.
Until it no longer does.
Something big happened a week before Christmas. Two boards of management and half of the staff recently hired quit RBW company. The atmosphere at the office was tense but no one dared to inform MAMAMOO members what happened, despite the girls' attempt to prod them into talking. The issue made the girls uneasy.
"Girls, please come to my office after this session," the CEO called over them from the dance practice room.
"Understood," the MAMAMOO girls replied.
It was the last class of the day.
When the clock strikes at 4.30 PM, the girls said goodbye to their dance teachers and walked together to CEO office on the first floor. RBW only rented out two floors from this office building. The rooms were previously used for classes to train teenagers who would later audition on other labels than RBW, but since the CEO committed to debuting MAMAMOO, all the rooms functioned exclusively to support them.
"Kim Daepyonim, we're here," Hwasa knocked politely before opening the door.
"Girls, please sit down," Do-hoon smiled and gestured at the four seats in front of his dark wood office desk.
The girls obediently did as told.
"So before we begin, I'm gonna give you this to sign. It's nothing important. Just a simple Non Disclosure Agreement. As you know, it simply means whatever topic we discuss today should not be shared with anyone other than the five of us. Failed to do so, then I might see you in court," He explained gently while he gave them each a sheet of paper.
The girls simply signed them at once, they have done the NDA procedure a few times since their debut announcement.
"Good," the older guy collected the papers and look at them.
"As you might suspect, we encountered some trouble in the company," He started.
"Yeah, what's going on? Why is everyone being secretive and suspicious?" Asked Moonbyul.
"Well.." He sighed, "There's no use to sugarcoat things. Some of us were responsible to secure the investment for your debut cost. One guy ruined a relationship with one potential investor and it affect the other investor who almost signed with us. So now we're standing at minus two investors."
He let out a long sigh of despair at their dejected expression.
"To make matter worse, the head of our legal department ran away after stealing half of the company's cash."
"What?!" The girls protested.
"But you can catch him and take back your money, right?" Solar asked.
"It's not that simple. He ran away to Monaco and the country has poor legal jurisdiction in extradition. It's a little bit hard to catch him soon. And the money most likely be gone by the time we caught him."
"Is that why some staff quit? You can't afford their salary?" Wheein asked.
"Sadly, yes because we have corporate bills come due at different times. Honestly, it was all my fault. I trusted them with so much responsibility and they took advantage of me. I chose the wrong people for that," He looked so disappointed and guilty, "I'm very sorry girls."
"So what does this mean for us? Will we be able to debut?" Hwasa said worriedly.
"As of the moment, everyone's priority was to secure investment. We fight hard for this company. Because at the end of the day, it's ours. RBW isn't solely mine."
The girls slumped back in their seats.
This is a disaster.
Moonbyul was shocked by the information she received. Not only she was living in poverty, now her company also has money issues! She felt crushed. This can't be happening. They were so close to debut. They can't fail now after everything they went through to reach this point.
"Is there anything we can do?" Moonbyul asked somberly.
She asked without any expectation. Moonbyul was sure there's nothing they can do to help. They were just four ordinary girls without a business degree to seal an investment deal or a legal degree to catch a criminal.
So Moonbyul was taken aback when the guy nodded apologetically, "There is something you can do. But you won't like it."
MAMAMOO girls abruptly sat right up.
But instead of answering right away, the CEO seemed to think twice about sharing his thought. He looked down at his lap and became apprehensive.
"What is it?" Solar asked impatiently.
"We want to know if we can help, Daepyonim," Supplied Wheein, "It's our debut that's on the line. We have worked so hard for this. We can't give up now."
Do-hoon shut his eyes at the words. He looked more troubled than a few seconds ago.
"Daepyonim.." Hwasa called him gently, "Please, tell us,"
He sighed, "I'm about to tell you something illegal, but this type of business has been going on in this industry since a long time ago," He opened his eyes and stared at the four pairs of curious eyes, "Will you listen without interrupting?"
They nodded.
"Don't misinterpret my intention. I'm simply sharing information. I'm not forcing you to join them. Understand?"
They nodded again.
"I know a guy.." He started carefully, "He worked as a broker in entertainment industry. I met him when I was in my 20s, struggling to make ends meet as a songwriter without label, when he offered me a project. He said it would make me rich instantly. And the job was simply connecting people. I was young and inexperienced, so I agreed to it."
The girls' eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Where is this going? Is their boss seriously going to admit his illegal venture in his younger years?
The question must've been obvious on their face because he continued with,
"Yes, I trust you guys enough to let you know I did it. My job during that time was transporting drugs to the big names in entertainment industry."
They all gasped.
"Singers, actors, TV hosts, producers, even the people who scout celebrities for big bucks commercial ads. I wasn't proud of what I did. It was wrong and I knew it. I was desperate back then," He sighed a lot, "But with that job, I knew there was a different line of business handled by this broker guy,"
"Connecting people can also mean luxurious prostitution auctioned for high bidders, the rich people from all over the world."
At that, everyone forgot their promise to not interrupt him.
"You can't be serious!"
"Are you crazy?!"
"This is not right!"
"How can you suggest that?! To US?! I think of you like our father!"
The CEO can only clamp his eyes shut at the verbal attack. He expected them to be angry. It was something rather outrageous. He understood how this can be received as a betrayal on their part. Because he did care for them as a father would care for his children.
After a few seconds of listening to the yelling, he spoke, "I told you before, I'm simply sharing information. I'm not forcing you to join them."
The girls stopped their loud objections and talked in turns.
"But you're suggesting it!" Moonbyul said.
"You're the one asking me if there's anything you can do," He replied calmly.
"But this is insane! We won't sell our body for quick bucks!" Wheein complained.
"You said you want to know if you can help and that you're debut was on the line, Wheein-ah. I'm not blaming you, I'm just trying to have a conversation."
"What's there to talk about?" Solar scoffed.
"We won't do it!" Hwasa joined her.
Their CEO stood up slowly with his both hand up in surrender, "Okay, we'll drop the topic. But you can't go home like this. You're all frantic. So I'm going to buy some ice cream while you cool down together. Okay? Give me 10 minutes to get them," He said as he walked outside.
As the door closed, they continued talking among themselves.
They shared the same sentiment; it was an absurd idea to get an investment.
Frankly, everyone would not be surprised at the idea of prostitution among the famous and the rich. The general public would agree too. Who wouldn't in their right mind, splurge some dollars to get in between famous people's legs, when they have billions of dollars in the bank account?
By the time the CEO re-opened the door and cautiously entered his own office, the four of them had calmed down deliberately.
"Here you go," He opened up the grocery bag and pulled out ten different flavors of ice cream, "I only remembered some of you don't like choco mint. So I get everything other than that,"
"That's me," Quipped Moonbyul.
They took ice cream each and indulged.
"Are we okay? I mean, are you guys still mad at me?" Do-hoon asked meekly.
"We're okay," Answered Hwasa with a small smile.
"It was smart of you to bribe us with ice cream, though," Solar jokingly said.
The guy sigh in relief, "Good to know,"
Wheein suddenly chuckled, "I mean, it's a pretty lousy idea. We're not famous yet. Even by selling our bodies, we probably can get like what? One million korean won?"
The other three girls snorted condescendingly at that. That much is insufficient to cover one person's monthly living costs in Seoul.
"Not quite. A virgin pre-debut girl idol can get up to 1,5 million USD. It's uh... I think.. 2 billion korean won," The CEO mumbled.
The girls choked on their ice creams.
"WHAT?!"
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It's such a bizarre day today for MAMAMOO girls.
After their talk with the CEO, they bought salads from grocery store and went back to their rooftop apartment. The weather was too cold to hang out on outdoor deck looking over the city landscape. So they sprawled all over their futon doing nothing and just relaxing together. They were tired, but it's too early to call it a night.
"It would be nice to have 2 billion won, right?" Wheein asked them out of the blue.
They were not talking before, so this was a pretty bold introduction.
"Now you're interested in selling yourself?" Hwasa jabbed at her friend's cheek.
"For 2 billion, I would," Wheein made a face and Hwasa laughed.
"You punk!" Hwasa tickled her and they both laughed out loud.
Wheein was squirming as she tried to escape the mischievous fingers, her head accidentally knocked against Solar's next to her.
"Ow! Wheein-ah.." She complained.
"Sorry, unnie, it's Hyejin's fault!" Wheein pouted cutely as she unhelpfully stroke Solar's head.
"Sorry unnie, Wheein is just delusional so I tried to bring her back to reality," Hwasa sat up to look at the other three figures laying down next to her.
"What do you mean?" Moonbyul propped her head on her hand looking back at her.
Hwasa looked at Wheein and they both had a non-verbal conversation. Hwasa raised her eyebrows. Wheein shrugged her shoulders.
"Wheein is not a virgin~" Hwasa sang her answer annoyingly.
Her best friend tackled her back to laying position, "Ya! You're not too!" She had her in a playful headlock.
Hwasa laughed at Wheein's embarrassed expression.
Solar chuckled at their antics, "We're doing truth or truth now?"
"Okay. Yongsun unnie, are you still a virgin?" Moonbyul boldly asked.
Everyone turned to Solar.
She simply shook her head no.
Solar turned to Moonbyul, "You?"
She nodded.
The three of them gasped, "2 billion won," Wheein mumbled.
Moonbyul smacked Wheein's face with her pillow.
"Ouch, unnie!" Wheein made a silly face and everyone laughed.
The air around them was light and funny. Neither of them was upset about it anymore. They fooled around as they discuss how to spend 2 billion won if they sold Moonbyul to the devil. The subject at disadvantage pretended to be annoyed as the three other girls teased her. Pillows were flying and the sound of their laughter can be heard from outside.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Two days later, MAMAMOO girls can't laugh anymore.
The building management visited their CEO and demanded he pays the monthly maintenance fee and warned about next year's rent due on Christmas. If they want to occupy the same space they have now, they need to pay the downpayment to book it before Christmas. The man was very loud and unpleasant, his voice traveled through the corridor and everyone knew about it.
By lunchtime, it was the staff's turn to corner the CEO. They complained loudly about the delayed salary. Most of the staff expected year end's bonus as most have children to support, and nieces and nephews who request gifts for Christmas. When it seemed unlikely to happen, some openly voiced their criticism of his management skills.
The board of management took Do-hoon's side, they tried to calm the situation, and asked the staff for their understanding.
It was chaotic in the office that day.
Nobody smiles.
MAMAMOO girls only watched from a distance. They sympathize with the staff who need to cover their living expense, a delayed salary could be harmful to people with family to support. But they also knew about the financing problem the CEO currently facing. It was a lose-lose situation.
Work was not happening much that day. The tension was too high for anyone to produce creative endeavors.
The day after was worse.
None of the newly hired staff showed up at work. They did a silent protest against the company.
This time around, MAMAMOO girls can't pretend to work on their things anymore. They knocked on the CEO's doors at 10 AM.
"Kim Daepyonim?" Solar called after him.
"Hey girls," Greeted the CEO unenthusiastically.
The four of them sat on the chairs opposite him.
The man looked like he hasn't slept a wink last night. He got huge bags under his eyes. His skin looked ashen and his eyes were bleak. It won't be too much to say, as if he has aged 5 more years overnight. He's in a really pitiful state today.
"How can I help you girls?" He asked.
"Um.." They were about to ask what to do today, as the staff who were supposed to teach them composing didn't come today, but at the sight of their CEO, they can't really say that now, can they?
Therefore, it surprised everyone when Moonbyul asked her question instead.
"About the weird stuff we talked about before, can you explain more of it?"
Four pairs of eyes widen at that.
"Byul-ah, no," Solar said sternly.
"Unnie!" Hwasa and Wheein said in protest.
The guy shook his head in agreement with the other girls, "Byul-ah, you don't have to do that,"
"Well, then what's your plan on dealing with rent and staff salary?" Moonbyul challenged him, "Can you pull that kind of money within four days? Christmas is around the corner,"
He was unable to answer that.
"See?" Moonbyul scoffed, "So tell us then, at this rate, how quickly RBW will go bankrupt and MAMAMOO would be buried under the ground with no one to remember it but us?"
He stayed silent too. He looked down on his lap and shrank smaller. Pride was leaving the room the more question Moonbyul asked him. It was an utterly disheartening sight; a man who failed the people who depended on him, so spectacularly. Some said the higher you climb, the harder you fall. For the first time in the girls' short lives, they saw someone fall and nearly break in front of their eyes.
"I'm very sorry.." He said.
"Daepyonim.." Hwasa sympathizes with him.
No one talked for a few seconds. It was really heavy inside the room.
"Daepyonim, just walk me through the weird stuff and let me decide if I want to try it or not," Moonbyul said resolutely. She didn't promise anything yet, she simply want to know.
Solar, Wheein, and Hwasa looked at Moonbyul worriedly. They were shocked at her words, neither expecting Moonbyul to seriously consider the idea. But everyone saw how critical the situation now, they were at risk of disbanding, the company was at risk of bankruptcy. Earning a shit load of money within days forced her to revisit some crazy ideas.
Slowly, the guy raised his head to look at Moonbyul, "If you decide to follow through with it, and put the money into RBW, it would be considered an investment from your side and you'll receive legal rights in the company's ownership as a shareholder. When someone has shares in a company, the individual has a right to vote on important matters regarding the company. In case of expansion decisions, CEO appointment & dismissal, or every important matter in the future, you can have a say. You will have the autonomy to refuse anyone's ideas and/or persuade other shareholders to follow yours,"
Moonbyul gulped, it sounded so serious, "And how many shares do I get with 2 billion won?"
"You'll get approximately 30% of RBW company shares, our company is really new, Byul-ah,"
"Whoa," Wheein's jaw dropped at that.
"Will we be able to debut with that money?" Moonbyul continued.
"Yes,"
"Are you sure? You can cover all the expenses with 2 billion won?" She inquired.
"Yes, it would buy us more than enough time to persuade new investors to join. The moment all of you stand on the stage, we'll turn heads and attract opportunity."
"Can you at least move us to a better dorm without cockroaches? A decent one with furniture and beds," Moonbyul negotiated some more.
"A four bedroom apartment? That would be really expensive,"
"Fine, two bedrooms. We'll split into twos,"
"Deal."
The three girls listening to their conversation turned their heads left and right as if they were watching tennis play.
"Hold up, Byul-ah, are you sure about this?" Solar gently touched Moonbyul's hand, she was frightened for her.
"Then what should we do, unnie? I'm the only one who can get that 2 billion,"
Their CEO looked extremely uncomfortable at the implicit information.
Solar turned to look at him, "How can you ensure Byul's safety? Are you certain she could get that much? How can you be sure the money would be received without problems if this is an illegal transaction?"
The guy became nervous as the dangerous aura wormed out of Solar. For a split second, she looked like a protective tiger.
"We'll do a contract about what the client can do to Byul and a penalty fee for breaking them. The total service fee and penalty fee sum will be transferred as a guarantee to a third party, a lawyer chosen by us. The lawyer will fabricate the terms in the transaction as if we're some company that provides consultation services, to make it easier on paper. 12 hours after the service, if there is no dispute, the lawyer will wire us the money. And regarding the amount of money, it really depends on what's written on the contract, the client can request something from Byul or our company,"
"But that's not enough, we must ensure unnie's safety," Hwasa commented.
"Can we decide by ourselves which client to take?" Wheein suggested.
The CEO nodded slowly, "I think it's possible,"
"A woman. A foreign woman would be better," Solar said in resolve.
Everyone was shocked at her client's profile of choice.
"W-what? Woman would be gentle! A-and I dunno, a foreigner more likely be interested in s-same s-sex relationship, or something. I think it's an appropriate suggestion for safety precautions!" She frantically explained herself. She had zero intention of talking about sapphic stuff or revealing anyone's sexuality.
Hwasa nodded, "That actually makes sense,"
"You're thoughtful, that's a pretty smart strategy," Do-hoon nodded.
"But we're still leaving the matters open right? We must let unnie think this through, not making haste decision," Said Wheein.
"That's true," Do-hoon nodded again, "Just take today's off girls. I'll make phone calls to get more information about Solar's idea, if it's feasible or not. Let's meet again tomorrow, or whenever Byul-ah ready, okay?"
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MAMAMOO girls went to Hangang Park for an impromptu picnic.
It was cold outside at noon, the weather forecast said there is a possibility for snow tomorrow. But today, the sky was clear blue and the sunlight on their skin felt nice. Other children and housewives were hanging around the park like them. Once in a while, some people jogged or biked passed their place on the green grass.
They shared sandwiches and warm tea.
It's been a while since they went outside together. Recently, they went home to their family instead of spending the short holidays together.
After she finished her sandwich, Moonbyul laid down and put her head on Solar's lap. Once again, she found herself full of thoughts. She barely found her ground after the last debacle with Ha-neul, Solar, and her sexuality. Those problems were buried deep inside her mind and she decided not to do anything with them. Different from those problems, this one she has other people to talk to.
Moonbyul can feel the girls' stare. They have been keeping their opinion to themselves since they met Do-hoon. But she knew the silence would be broken now.
Solar played with Moonbyul's hair, she looked down at her, "Byul-ah, do you wanna talk about it?"
"What?"
"Are you sure about doing the weird stuff?"
"I'm not sure. But I don't think we have any option left,"
It's true. They all knew it's true.
"Well, I'm following the old man's teachings, Jesus said to take one for the team or something like that, right?" She joked humorlessly.
"Unnie.." Wheein crawled to her and put her head on Moonbyul's stomach, "I'm sorry I'm not virgin anymore,"
Hwasa crawled over too, she joined her head on Moonbyul's thigh, "I'm sorry too, unnie,"
"I'm sorry, Byul-ah," Solar said.
"You silly goose," She chuckled, "If you're sorry just be there for me. I think I'm going to be difficult for a while," Moonbyul said honestly.
"We'll be there for you all the time," Hwasa said.
"Is there anything we can do now to help? You wanna know my first time having sex?" Wheein offered.
"Ew gross, Wheein-ah!" Solar threw some grass on Wheein's head.
"There's no need for that baby, you have probably done it in less than five minutes with that skinny boy," that earned Hwasa a slap on her arm.
"Shut up!" Her face went red in embarrassment.
"TMI! That's sad Wheein-ah," Moonbyul laughed at Wheein's reaction.
"She lied! It was more than five minutes!"
"Six minutes, then?" Mocked Solar.
"Unnie! Not you too! Why are you guys bullying meee.." Wheein faked a baby cry.
"Aigooo," was the only response she got from everyone.
They shared a laugh picking on the funny one in the group.
"But I know what Wheein-ah trying to do," Solar said when the laughter died down, "She's trying to mentally prepare you, Byul-ah,"
"Preparation makes me more nervous," Moonbyul replied.
"But it might help, unnie," Wheein said, "Oh! We should ask Daepyonim for waxing money." She suddenly had the idea.
"Oh yeah, and ask him for lingerie money too," Hwasa added, "Well screw that, we'll ask him a million won as a downpayment! It was his fault anyway Byul unnie got dragged into this mess!"
"Fuck.." Moonbyul only sighed in resignation.
"What's wrong?" Solar nudged her.
"I just realized my first time will be with a complete stranger and it would be meaningless," She groaned.
That shut everyone up. Come to think of it, that's pretty suck. Asian people are more sensitive to intimacy and sex in comparison to Western people. It's a cultural difference, and some people might discount how big of a deal sex is over others. Even with globalization and internet with accessible adult content, Moonbyul still belonged to the conservative group.
In her point of view, sex should be a way to connect to someone. It doesn't have to be special per se, no requirement for candle lights or lingerie or some big cheesy gesture leading to sex. But Moonbyul secretly wished it would be meaningful. She knew some friends who lost their virginity from drunken hookups. While Moonbyul won't comment on other people's business, she herself won't do that. It seemed cold and impersonal. Moonbyul wants the complete opposite.
Moonbyul had a pretty active imagination. She did make use of internet to fulfill her desires at desperate times. She had an idea of what to do to make it feel good. She imagined doing nasty stuff to both girls and boys. But she hardly ever imagined someone doing the same to her. Moonbyul wouldn't know if she would like sex or not.
If someone asked her, who she'd like to give her first, Moonbyul had a pretty solid answer. At least with this person, it won't be cold and impersonal. Moonbyul trust this person and she happened to develop a crush on her too. And that was enough to consider it meaningful.
"Give it to me, then," Solar said.
At once, Moonbyul coughed as she choked on her own spit.
Hwasa and Wheein sat up from their position around the older girl, concerned about Moonbyul's cough. She sat up too, trying to control her cough.
Hwasa gave Moonbyul a new cup of tea.
She sipped it and it helped tremendously.
With a disbelieving look in her eyes, Moonbyul asked Solar, "What did you just say?"
"Give your virginity to me. As long as I don't use a dildo, she wouldn't know," She said boldly without an ounce of shame.
"Yong.." Moonbyul gasped.
Flabbergasted, Hwasa and Wheein only exchanged loaded stares. They felt like they were imposing themselves on private moments between their unnies.
"If you don't want to give it to a stranger then it's better to give it to someone you know," Solar calmly explained herself, "Trust me, it's better that way,"
Slowly understanding where this offer comes from, Moonbyul jabbed at her own knee, "How did you know that?"
"Because I regret my first time, Byul-ah," Solar answered, "I gave mine to someone from a college party and cried for a week after that. I don't want that for you," She chuckled to lighten up the mood, "You're all spooked by my offer? Do I look that bad?! Ya! I'm pretty good in bed!" She threw more blades of grass at the other three girls.
"Unnie!" "You scared us!" "You're surprising me!" The younger girls groaned at Solar.
But Moonbyul looked at Solar with mixed feelings. She was shocked at the preposition; a bit happy to be offered the opportunity to make sex meaningful from the person she adores; a bit wobbly in anticipation; and also she grieves for Solar's first time experience. That girl just put herself in a vulnerable position in front of them, just so she can extend her kindness to Moonbyul. It made her weak with unexplainable emotion.
Moonbyul wished she could kiss that glint of remorse away from her eyes.
Oh, how she wishes it's just the two of them right now, in this moment.
They started bickering again next to Moonbyul, pulling her out of her emotional bubble.
They continue to talk about everything and nothing until their hands turned blue and it's time to go somewhere warmer. A café nearby became their next destination. It's such a carefree day for them. Hwasa and Wheein moods were bright as they planned to relax the whole day. Strangely, Solar seemed caught up in her own thoughts.
When they arrived at the café, everyone entered quickly to escape the cold. But Moonbyul's eyes caught something in the decorative windows. It's a simple neighborhood café with transparent floor-to-ceiling windows and she can see the warm-colored interior from outside. On the window, there are white drawings of furniture and items and random words.
Moonbyul's attention was stolen by one word.
Yearning.
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The next day, four MAMAMOO members visited Do-hoon at noon.
They discussed the next course of action. Moonbyul braved herself, she agreed to do it.
As it turned out, Solar and Wheein suggestion was doable. It would take them one extra day to put in an offer to the special group of interest; rich lesbians. All that was left to do was collect Moonbyul's photos and health information. The boring administrative stuff was all Do-hoon responsibility. But Solar, Wheein, and Hwasa took their time reading the most important part of the handwritten agreement; Moonbyul's boundary and the lists of actions considered a penalty. The three of them debated heatedly about it. They were adamant about protecting Moonbyul.
After two hours of meeting, they felt more comfortable with the changes made.
Hwasa requested one million won from the CEO for preparing Moonbyul, to which he agreed right away without question.
With cash on hand, the girls went out for fun.
The first stop was obviously food. They went to a BBQ restaurant and had beef. The next stop was the waxing shop. It only took Moonbyul 10 minutes inside to finish everything. They proceed to go shopping for nice body lotion, sexy lingerie and underwear, and a little black dress. Nothing can go wrong with LBD. After that, they recharged their energy in a bubble tea café. Diet can go fuck itself today.
Hwasa and Wheein were queueing to get their order. While Solar and Moonbyul took the only seating booth left looking over the city view from big windows. They can't lose it to other people, so they separated.
Solar was busy enjoying the city view from her seat.
But Moonbyul was nervously looking at her beautiful long-haired friend.
"What is it?" Solar asked her without turning her attention away from the pretty landscape.
"Unnie, are you serious about what you said before?"
"Yes,"
"How do you know what I'm referring to?"
"Byul-ah,"
"Hm?"
Solar turned to look her dead in the eyes, "Do you want your first time with me?"
Stuttering in response, she said, "W-well I've thought about w-what you said. A-and you're right, I think. It's better to.. to.. do it with someone I know first. And.. and I trust you.. as a friend! So I don't think it would be.. horrible.. w-with y-you," Her cheeks burned hot, Moonbyul curse her pale complexion and hoped she won't turn as red as a tomato.
Solar reached out to hold her hand across the table, "I'll try my best not to make it horrible," She said gently.
"But, unnie, you sure you're okay with it?"
"Byul-ah, don't worry about me. It's the least I can help you with. You took such a big decision for us all, remember?"
"Okay, if you say so,"
They went silent in awkwardness. Moonbyul felt like the first few weeks knowing Solar. They didn't have the best start with each other. Back then, Moonbyul was slightly rude as she thought Solar was younger than her and Solar was too friendly hugging her in the first trainees' pictures.
It only last a few minutes before Hwasa and Wheein joined them with four bubble tea.
"How much money we got left, Hyejin-ah?" Solar asked.
"A third of it, why?"
"Moonbyul needs all of it for tomorrow,"
Wheein innocently asked, "What's for tomorrow?"
"A hotel room,"
They choked on boba.
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An hour later Moonbyul received a call from the CEO.
"Hello?"
"Byul-ah, we got a result, do you want to talk on the phone or meet me back in the office?"
"On the phone is fine,"
"Alright. We received the auction result from Germany. There's a lady called Anna Twesten, a beautiful blue eyed blonde in her early 40s. I'll send you basic detail about her. She has hotel chains in 25 countries but refuses to disclose her brand or her position in the corporation. Go ahead and open your email,"
The girls were currently at a shopping center. They still roam around the city without looking for anything in particular. Moonbyul stepped aside from the store they were currently in and lean on the alley wall next to it. Here was slightly calmer as the sounds muffled between two walls. She opened up her email and read the content quickly.
"She looks okay, how much she's offering?" Moonbyul commented after a while.
"One million euro. It's around 1,4 billion korean won."
"But that's less than 2 billion won, would it suffice for our debut?"
"It's still a wonderful amount, we can work with that. And there are a few clauses in her written offer, Byul-ah,"
"What's a clause?"
"It means she officially requests something from us. I'll read it briefly to you. One, she requested to meet me, the CEO of the company that promised to debut you under its corporate legal right. That's exactly what's written here. Second, she wants you, Byul-ah, to keep in mind that this might not be the only time you will meet her, she has a preference to turn this into a friendly working relationship in the future."
"A working relationship? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
The CEO sounded displeased at that too, "I know, it sounded weird. I will meet with her at midnight tonight, as per her request. I'll ask about it. And there's one more thing, Byul-ah,"
Moonbyul groaned, "What more?"
"She wants you as her Christmas gift. She wrote down the date for us; 24th December, The Shilla Seoul."
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Moonbyul can't sleep that night.
Before midnight, she texted Do-hoon Daepyonim requesting an express update after his midnight meeting. She was too anxious to sleep anyway. That's how she ended up pacing around in the front deck of MAMAMOO rooftop apartment at 1 in the morning. It was bitterly cold outside.
After the previous call, Moonbyul had told the rest of her members about the German lady. They all looked and read her profile. They agreed that physically, she was gorgeous, and the money was pretty good, but they were still suspicious about the clauses in her offer.
Five minutes later her phone rang.
"Daepyonim," Moonbyul answered.
"Where are you, Byul-ah? Are you alone?" He sounded calm.
"Outside our apartment and yes I'm alone. How's the meeting?"
"Can you sit somewhere comfortable?"
Moonbyul did as told, she sat on the wooden deck, "Done,"
"Okay," He sighed, "This is bigger than I thought it was, Byul-ah. Can you listen for a while without interrupting?"
He always said that, Moonbyul grumbled, "Okay"
"We just finished talking and I only negotiate without making any agreement yet. I want to talk to you first, in case you're uncomfortable with this." He started, "She liked what she read about you and pressured me within the first 10 minutes to convince her you guys have what it takes to be a successful girl band and your group will have thousands of faithful fans. Of course, I nailed it. I told her the talent and skills I saw in you guys during your training and how passionate you are fighting for your career. She seemed really interested in MAMAMOO's success. At first I was confused about it, but then it became clear to me,"
Moonbyul impatiently asked, "What is it about?"
"She has a political agenda, Byul-ah,"
"What do you mean?"
"She's pro in LGBT issues and wants you to be the South Korean ally on the matter."
"WHAT?!"
"She explained in detail about her expectation. She is willing to invest directly in the future if RBW followed her guidance to make a unique personification for your celebrity image. She wants you to represent someone with sexual fluidity, but it won't be vulgar, it should always be gentle and mild, considering our Asian traits. At the core of it, she wants you to be accepted by South Koreans. In case we can attract international fans, she wants you to be accepted by them too. She wants you to be loved as an artist, despite this curated personification she imposed on you. I think she wanted Asian people to be more open or at least get used to the idea, by showing a side of you, that she created, on the media. But I really have to ask you Byul-ah, is this something that you can consider doing? I understand that this is a bigger responsibility than getting investment for your debut. This is fighting for someone else's political agenda and you became the representative public figure,"
Moonbyul was at a loss for words.
It's too much information for her.
"I- I don't understand,"
"It's alright, Byul-ah, take your time. I'm in a 24/7 Mcdonald's right now. I can talk to you as long as you want." The guy answered gently.
Fear was the first emotion she voiced, "But our people don't like that kind of stuff, right?"
Her boss went silent before asking, "Are you afraid of getting hate comments from the public?"
"Yeah, and I'm afraid people will talk and my parents won't be comfortable about it,"
"I promise to protect you and your family, Byul-ah, and as I mentioned, our first priority is getting people to like you. As an artist, a singer, a girl group member. Think of this like a German side-project. Our people have to love you first before we do this secret project, otherwise this won't work, we can't force people to change, don't you agree?"
"But what does that mean, exactly?"
"Honestly, that's something we need to explore together later, we have a lot to discuss. But the main idea, can you repeat it to me in your own words, so I know that you understand what I've told you so far?"
Well, this sounds like an exam, Moonbyul answered hesitantly, "Um.. S-she wanted me to represent homosexuality in public to slowly change South Korean opinion?"
"Not homosexuality!" He corrected quickly, "So, sexual fluidity means people's sexual orientation isn't fixed. And to raise awareness of it, we can do something like.. making you into a girl crush idol? So you'll attract more female fans, who unconsciously began to become aware and we'll just let nature runs its course. Our responsibility was only to showcase a side of you, we won't be changing the world or campaigning for this issue,"
Moonbyul felt a headache coming.
There were so many questions she wanted to ask.
"But I still don't understand, why she wants to do this? Why would a foreigner care how South Korean think about LGBT? How do you think she can benefit from it?"
"I'm afraid it's out of my understanding too, Byul-ah," The guy responded. Frankly, he's afraid to know the answer too. Nobody really knows what these mega rich people are up to with their money, connection, and power. Ms. Twesten might use RBW for a bigger scheme she planned.
"I dunno, Daepyonim, this sounds confusing to me,"
"I understand, Byul-ah, you should think this through. You have 24 hours to decide,"
Moonbyul rolled her eyes, 24 hours to decide on an offer that would dictate her career as an idol. It's ridiculous.
"Is there anything you'd still want to ask me, Byul-ah?"
"Yeah, Daepyonim,"
"What is it?"
"As someone who knows me and understands the circumstances we have and the demand she asked. Do you think I should say yes? Or reject this?" Moonbyul asked daringly.
She knew she put her boss in a very uncomfortable position by asking. Her boss obviously wants to get investment to save his company. But his pride might complicate that need. Realistically speaking, he would want the best decision for her and her future because Moonbyul's success determined his company's success. He understood the risk of taking this project, it could ruin his reputation and makes Byul susceptible. But he was certain there are many sides he could play and loose ends he could control to protect Byul. It's what a Creative Directors do in entertainment industry, they make strategies to convey a certain feel about an idol, to affect people's opinion about the idol. There are many ways and angles to do so.
"I think this is a big decision that only you can make, Byul-ah. All I can say is this; if you decided to say yes, I promise I'll make you an image that people will love. I promise to take your side, fight for your corner, and protect you until the day you retired from this industry."
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The sky outside turned bright at 7.30.
Morning has come and Moonbyul hasn't slept at all. She was up all night sorting out her thought.
She went for a run before her friends even woke up.
She thought running might help her clear her mind and tire her out enough so she could sleep later during the day.
Her mind was buzzing with anxiety, there are too many things to think about. But Moonbyul's conclusion always returns to the fact; she needs the money to debut. It's the most urgent matter to solve. Moonbyul can worry about her image once she has enough capital to begin her career.
At first, Moonbyul thought of asking her mother's opinion at 3 in the morning. She almost woke her friends to discuss the matter with them. But the CEO words rang in her head; this is a big decision that only she can make.
She has been running all over the city without destination, until her legs took her to a place that made her eyes well up from the burst of feelings.
Seoul Olympic Stadium.
One of the biggest arenas in South Korea that can hold up to 100,000 fans and it's considered as 'a stage of dreams' because only a few big names have had individual concerts there.
Moonbyul entered the stadium and jogged on the running track. She looked at the building from all angles and took it all in. She can almost hear the sound of MAMAMOO concert, the sound of her fans chanting her name loud enough to shake the ground beneath the stadium. She basked in the feelings. She imagined the clapping sounds and whistles she received after performing in the caroling contest, a children's competition, many years ago during her childhood and made it 100,000x bigger.
She closed her eyes.
Drunk by the overwhelming feeling of euphoria and joy, she stopped running at once.
She took a deep breath.
Moonbyul might not know what this job entails, what kind of hardship awaits her, and whether everything will be worth it in the end.
But she wants to find the answer for herself.