Exy realized something had changed since the night she stayed at Moonbyul's apartment.
She remembered everything about that night. Although, the memory returned to her slowly, not the day after, but five days after.
They filmed another episode of Second World and kept friendly interaction with each other. But Exy can feel Moonbyul actively pursuing friendship with other contestants, as if she was trying to level out her friendliness equally to everyone.
During the first filming after that night, Exy was anxious to meet Moonbyul. She was very surprised to receive a warm hug and happy chatter from her senior. She felt relief and engaged in enthusiastic conversation about the competition.
But after Moonbyul loss in this round, she knew she can't hang out again with the disappointing atmosphere surrounding her sunbae. It was confirmed later by text, when Exy asked Moonbyul out for a hangout, but got turned down because the latter wanted to focus on practice to get a better result on the next performance.
So another week passed by without much interaction with Moonbyul.
By the time they filmed the semi-final episode of Second World, Exy felt she might not be that special to Moonbyul after all.
She heard from the dressing room gossip that Jimin had a fun night out with Moonbyul. Moreover, when MC Pink Villain was asking about whose first impression betrays their real impression after they get to know each other, Moonbyul picked Jimin and mentioned that she's turned out to be cute instead of cold and cool.
Exy didn't like that development.
At all.
She started to feel agitated and jealous because things didn't go her way. Up until now, Moonbyul hasn't given any positive feedback on Exy's confession. It seemed like both had an unspoken agreement to sweep things under the rug for the duration of filming together.
So Exy stayed out of Moonbyul's hair for a while. She kept a professional friendly outlook whenever there was a camera between them.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
After the final round and ultimately Moonbyul's victory, the whole crew were having a get-together.
There was plenty of food and alcohol. From the filming crew, the judges, the idols, the managers, to the random on-site staff were all enjoying the feast in one of the ballrooms of the same building they filmed Second World.
The gathering lasted for one hour before everyone decided to call it a night.
The after-party though was exclusively made for only the judges and idols. That's exactly when the drinking got serious and the phones were locked inside a compartment as a safety precaution. They took the party to a different venue.
Exy was seating in between Mimi and JooE in an exclusive restaurant in downtown Seoul. She had fun throughout the after-party too, but she had to be the first one to leave, due to her WJSN schedule tomorrow morning.
On her way back to WJSN dorm in her manager's car, her phone rang. To her utmost surprise, 'Moonbyul Unnie' appeared on the screen.
"Hello?" Answered Exy.
"I know you're not dense," Moonbyul sounded drunk and upset.
"I can feel your awkwardness and anxiety resonating in some of our interactions." She continued, "But tonight is my victory, can you at least act like you like me as much as you confessed that night?" Moonbyul's tone was bitter.
Exy was speechless.
How can Moonbyul attack her like this?
By the phone when she sat next to her manager, who must not know about her love life otherwise he would spill them to everyone in the company, in a confined space.
And after a month, how can she finally mention that night with that tone? As if she was disappointed that Exy was not acting as in love as she confessed. When her feelings are clearly not reciprocated by Moonbyul herself!
The audacity.
"How drunk are you, unnie?" Replied Exy calmly, making sure not to sound suspicious next to her manager.
"That's completely irrelevant right now, don't you think Sojung-ssi?" She replied savagely.
Exy scoffs, "Sojung-ssi?"
One step forward, ten steps back, Exy complained internally.
"You don't know anything about my feelings too. Do you know how many straight girls made a move on me and then walked away the next day as if I'm just a plaything they suddenly get bored at? They always blame it on alcohol. You did the same thing that night. So don't act all innocent and try to get me in your games, Sojung-ssi." She said it calmly but the storm brewing between them was full of tension.
Exy eyes widen and she was unable to give any answer to that.
"If you still want to hang out with me, you better make things right. Talk to me sober. Then I'll try to do the same." Moonbyul finally said after getting zero answers from Exy.
There was some noise like the sound of fingers tapping the screen, but the call was not disconnected yet.
Exy heard a grunt of struggle, she thought it was Moonbyul.
Then she heard another distant voice, "Ugh, gimme that you loser."
And the phone disconnected.
With a shocked expression, Exy put down her phone from her ear. Not only she was stunned by Moonbyul's words but also by the fact that someone knew about her and Moonbyul. At least, understand something was up, to the point that Moonbyul drunk dialed her and expressed her reservation about Exy's mistakes.
She can feel her manager staring at her curiously, "Who's that?" He asked.
"Moonbyul unnie. I think she's too drunk to function, she started sharing some MAMAMOO's gossip and I was too shocked to answer." Exy said while simulating her made-up story to her advantage, "Can we please go back to the after-party restaurant? I need to check on Moonbyul unnie before she started going around sharing gossip about me." She's pleading with her manager.
Seeing that the worry and the excuse were genuine enough, the manager made a U-turn back to the restaurant.
When they arrived, Exy went out of the car and rushed to the second floor where the exclusive rooms are. She entered the room and found them empty.
With a solemn expression, Exy returned to the car and promised herself to salvage her relationship with her celebrity crush.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Turned out, apologizing is not as simple as it sounds.
Exy tried to call Moonbyul but her call was always rejected.
It's either Moonbyul doesn't want an apology or she's embarrassed about her drunk call.
For the life of her, Exy can't figure her out.
But one thing was clear enough. Exy should not act like other straight girls, playing with Moonbyul's heart. The message from the drunk call was loud and clear. Moonbyul was hurt before. And the way her tone sounded nearly close to distaste at the words 'straight girls', was a little bit alarming for Exy.
Despite her crush on Moonbyul, Exy never developed any romantic love with girls. The word lesbian or gay itself seemed scary for Exy, not to mention was nearly impossible for her to accept those terms as part of herself.
Nevertheless, Exy still wanted to have an honest talk with Moonbyul.
The opportunity came when her manager informed her about an extra episode filming for Second World show next week. The director wanted to add a camping special for the final contestants, due to the high show's rating. Meaning Moonbyul and the other 3 idols will be there. Exy mentally prepared herself to face her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Exy was not prepared for what was in store for her during the filming of Camping Special; Second World episode.
The universe must've been playing jokes on her and Moonbyul.
The idols and judges were clapping and making teasing comments when Moonbyul and Exy won the "Best Chemistry Award". They won against other couples, whose appealing interaction was caught by the cameras. The atmosphere was warm and friendly, yet the tension inside Exy's stomach felt heavy.
Was their chemistry that good?
Exy was content enough with the fact that Moonbyul decided to sit next to her during the filming. Moonbyul took the outmost left side in their half-circle sitting format, leaving only Exy the one close enough for physical contact with Moonbyul.
She was happy that their interaction was light, even though both of them had an unspoken agreement for a girl talk after.
Both of them rose from their seat to receive the gifts from the filming crew. They tried their best not to be awkward with each other.
Exy internally freaked out when the gifts turned out to be a stupid couple's ring.
To save her and Moonbyul's reaction crises, Exy danced a silly little dance with her multicolored plastic couple's ring. The light from the playful ring was tacky. Therefore, it made the idols and judges laugh at Exy, without malice.
Not long after the award, the filming of the final episode of Second World came to an end.
Everyone started mingling around the camping site. The fire was yet to be put out, so the yellow glow and the whole camping atmosphere were still strong. It would be romantic, if not for the fact about 60 people were chatting.
Exy's stare kept following Moonbyul. She needed to keep her in sight, in case Moonbyul decided to run away. Exy can't afford to miss her chance at making things right.
After Exy gave proper goodbyes to everyone important and thanked the crew, she timidly approached Moonbyul who was packing up and about to put on her winter jacket.
"Unnie, can we talk now somewhere private?" Asked Exy while looking at the ground.
She heard a resigned sigh, "Did you tell your manager you're going home alone? I saw him leaving earlier before our filming ended."
Exy nodded but carefully not taking Moonbyul's bait at distracting their conversation, "Talking to you privately is my priority right now."
"Unnie, I want to make things right with you. Please give me a chance."
The look in Exy's eyes must have been convincing. Because the next thing, they both entered Moonbyul's car and drove away from the camping site.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Exy tried to give the speech of her life during the ride, but Moonbyul just turned on the radio and increased the volume. She even joked, "Talk to me when we arrived, seriously, have you not seen any k-drama? We need to arrive somewhere with good scenery before doing important talks."
Exy just laughed and played along.
True to her words, Moonbyul stopped her car in an empty rest area on the highway outside the camping site. But instead of a boring-looking rest area, this one has a jungle view of the surrounding camping sites. The campfires and warm color lights were glittering in the distance.
"I am sorry for what I've done, Unnie." Exy started while looking ahead.
"You were right, it was not okay to approach you while I was drunk. I thought of saving face, in case my advances were rejected. Up until today, it still feels like I was being rejected. If you weren't scolding me on that drunken call back then, I wouldn't be brave enough to do this."
Exy turned to look at Moonbyul.
Moonbyul was playing with her shirt's button, but then locked eye contact with Exy.
"I like you, unnie. What I said that night in your apartment was real. I genuinely feel it's unfair that I was tripping on my feelings while you act as if nothing happens. I know you're distancing yourself from me since that night. While I understand why you hang out with other idols on the show, leaving me feeling like our hangout wasn't special, it doesn't make it hurt any less."
Moonbyul moved her right hand and held onto Exy's hand.
She can't help but feel a little bit guilty at the sad expression on Exy's face.
"I will not be like any other girls, unnie. I am sober now and I want to have an adult talk with you." Said Exy.
Her heart was thumping hard in her chest.
She can't believe how vulnerable she was right now.
Putting her cards on the table.
Moonbyul sighed a little bit at her words, "But how can you not be like other girls, Sojung-ah?"
"You have never been with a woman. While I validate your feelings, I think you're just like me, like a friendly crush. I admire you for reaching out to me and apologizing like this. But I'm sorry if I have my aversion to this." Moonbyul replied as gently as she can.
Exy didn't seem to shrink on herself despite this answer.
Instead, she flipped her hand and joined both of their fingers together.
With a firm grip on their handholds, she replied, "I've never been in love with a woman. That's right. And I still don't know what my sexuality is. But 'friendly crush'" Exy made a quotation mark with her other unoccupied hand, "doesn't constitute getting off of the imaginary picture of me getting railed by you."
Taken aback by the blunt admission, Moonbyul's eyes went wide.
"Should I show you what's not a friendly crush, unnie?"
Exy moved closer and pressed her lips to Moonbyul's.