When I awoke that day, knowing I would return to that retched planet with disgusting humans into a group led by a psychotic pirate with people that 'destiny' paired with me. Somedays I have better days than others, today was a bad day.
It all started with a terrible flashback and a blinding migraine following. Then, Thor and Loki decided to leave me alone with their terrifying parents. Mostly their dad, as he doesn't approve of our human x god relationship and believes that I am a waste of space and will only cause havoc and trouble here on Asgard.
Whenever I announced I was leaving, he practically jumped in his seat in joy. Their beautiful mother on the other hand was an absolute delight to be around and fully trusted me despite knowing my situation and past. She gifted me a crystal necklace on the first day of meeting her and then gave me one of her dresses to wear to a ball but I declined as I don't trust myself in large crowds anymore.
It was a shame leaving that gorgeous place but I believe that it is the right thing to do in this situation. Thor and Loki came with me to the Bilfrost where I met Heimdall. He was also very friendly and we had a small chat before preparing to return to Earth.
Before this, I had an episode where I transformed back into my HYDRA self which I discovered by Fury was called The Shadow. During this moment, I proceeded to attempt to behead one of the maids with a butter knife and attack Thor with a jug of water. They then tied me down and 'stabilized' me, so knocked me out.
When I awoke I was met with this wave of guilt and anger with myself. I was a monster no matter where I was and I even hurt one of my soulmates. For the rest of that day, I locked myself in my room and tried to squash these foreign feelings deep inside my mind. I dreaded meeting the others and hearing what they had to say about me and I anticipated a severe degradation from Fury when I returned.
I stepped onto the Bifrost with both gods by my side and even now I couldn't bare to look at them. Maybe I was overreacting but I felt like everything was against me in my life.
Suddenly we were being wooshed away by the Bifrost and I closed my eyes to try and block the blinding light and then we were met with the cement of Avenger's tower.
Immediately SHIELD agents rushed forward and bound me in cuffs and devices used to prevent my powers, and escorted me inside the tower. I tried to look behind me at the gods but my head was roughly pushed back forwards. Then out steps Mr. Fury himself in his basic ass black trenchcoat and iconic eyepatch that completes the pirate look.
He came towards me and anger was already bursting from him. He just has such a bad vibe all over.
"Why are you here?" he asked, trying to maintain a calm demeanor.
"I need help and was recommended her," I responded trying to keep things formal.
"I thought we agreed to keep you there," he said to me.
"...What."
"We had an agreement that you stayed on Asgard with the only two soulmates that can sort of tolerate you and you will be happy and be away from hurting anyone ever again. Was this not said?!"
"Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Shadow, I do not want to waste my time or effort explaining that we don't want you here. None of us do. You. Are. A. MONSTER! A FREAK!"
"I don't-"
"GET IN IT YOUR FUCKING HEAD THAT YOUR SOULMATES DON'T FUCKING WANT YOU. YOUR USELESS!"
"Oh." That was all I could say and just like that, all emotions were gone. All the love and affection that I was promised was now impossible and will never happen. I cannot believe that I was this fucking delusional that I truly believed I had a chance at a happy life after what I had done.
"Great now, we have to keep you here. Transfer her to the Raft as soon as possible." Fury stated to the surrounding agents. Two agents escorted me to another holding cell and left me alone, again.
And at that moment I honestly wanted to die. I was a shell of what was once a young girl that once believed she escaped Hell but landed herself in another. I felt cold and no fire could ever warm me, I felt angry but not at them, but at myself for stupidly believing I had a chance.
I tried to compose myself by focusing on small details such as the marching of boots outside my door, the heavy breathing of the guards monitoring my cell and if I listened closely enough, I could hear the air being pushed through the vents above me.
All of a sudden, the cell door swung open, and in walked Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, and Steve Rogers. Romanoff took a seat opposite to me and Rogers and Stark stood behind her, monitoring my movements and emotions.
"Why are you here Olivia," questioned Romanoff as she stared into my soul. I noticed that the security camera was now solely focusing on me.
I remained silent as I didn't remember why I was there.
"Let me put it into simpler terms, answer or we will hurt you," she said in a low tone. It would have been threatening if it wasn't for the fact that I was taught that same skill many years ago.
"Ma'am Natasha means that we are concerned about why you have returned when you were so happy in Asgard," said Rogers in an almost loving tone.
"I wasn't happy. And I will never be 'happy' Mr. Rogers," I stated, speaking from the heart. They all exchanged glances before Stark spoke up.
"Do you know who we are?" he asked with genuine curiousity.
"Natasha Romanoff, Natasha Romanoff is a formidable opponent and a valuable asset. She was once a member of HYDRA before defecting to the Avengers. Her exceptional combat skills and proficiency in espionage made her a top Hydra agent, and her loyalty to their cause was unquestionable at the time. She is now a traitor who abandoned her former comrades to join the enemy. Her actions as an Aveng have been perceived as a threat to Hydra's goals, leading to a desire for her capture or elimination."
"Tony Stark, Tony Stark is viewed as a prominent figure in the global weapons industry, making him a target for Hydra's infiltration and manipulation. Stark Industries was seen as a valuable asset to the organization, with their technology and resources aiding in Hydra's pursuit of power and control.
Additionally, as Iron Man, Tony Stark was a formidable opponent in combat. His suit's advanced technology and weapons made him a significant threat to Hydra's operatives, and his involvement in the Avengers only increased his status as a danger to their goals.
However, despite his reputation and resources, Tony Stark's tendency towards unpredictable behavior and public displays of arrogance may have been viewed as a weakness by Hydra. They have attempted to exploit this vulnerability to gain an advantage over him or manipulate him towards their agenda."
"Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers is viewed as a threat to the organization's goals due to his involvement with the Avengers and his unwavering commitment to justice and righteousness. Rogers' physical strength, combat skills, and leadership qualities made him a formidable adversary, and his reputation as Captain America only added to his status as a symbol of hope and freedom.
Additionally, Rogers' unwavering morality and sense of duty have been perceived as a weakness by Hydra. They have attempted to manipulate or exploit his values to gain an advantage over him or turn him toward their agenda."
They were too stunned to even speak, they simply walked out of the room leaving me once again in this barren room with my thoughts.