The next week, I was back at my own apartment. My sister was home again and I'd returned to reality.
I missed living with Hanta, being catered to for whatever I needed. But one thing that changed when I returned to my every day life was how often he and I talked.
I called him as soon as I got off work, connecting to my car's bluetooth as we continued our conversation.
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Current Call: Cookie Monster🍪💙
So you're free this weekend?
"Not exactly. The office is closed, yes, but I still have to arrange my evidence points, figure out what questions I can ask my client's witnesses to get the kind of answers we need to win the case, write my pitches for the jury, and a bunch of other stuff until I have everything perfect for the court date."
And you don't plan on taking even a lunch break for the whole weekend? And if you're doing that much, you probably won't eat breakfast or dinner either.
I chuckled, "I'm gonna eat, Hanta."
Did you eat today?
"Yes."
Whatever snacks you keep in your office at work don't count. I'm talking about a full meal, bebecita.
"Then, no."
It's almost six, Y/n. You gotta stop skipping meals.
I sighed, "I know, I know. I just wasn't expecting to come back to work and immediately be given four different cases at once. I didn't leave my office all day. I've just been going through each one and starting my preparations. I hadn't even realized I was hungry until you said something about it."
Go get some food before you go home.
"I will, papito. Relax."
No puedo cuando te saltas las comidas, cariño.
(I can't when you're skipping meals, baby.)
"Well, I'm going to three seventy-five right now, and I already placed my order online, so you can."
Please, tell me you got more than just loaded fries.
"I did, Han," I sighed.
Are you still meeting up with Zay?
"I think so. I haven't texted him yet, but I was just gonna tell him whenever I got home."
I don't wanna sound like I'm just trying to get you away from him, but be careful when he comes. He might be a close friend, but I don't want you getting hurt or taken advantage of. He's manipulative, he knows how to lie and make it believable. He can also cry on command, so I wouldn't trust his tears either. And he's dangerous, there's not much he wouldn't do to get his way.
Please, mami, I know you love him, but pay attention to the signs this time. There's no doubt in my mind that he'll say everything you wanna hear then try to take you to bed. And by the time he strips you, I can guarantee you won't be thinking about the conversation anymore.
"He said he just wants to talk."
And you believe that?
"No. I always let him come back because I soften my guard. I'm not letting that happen this time."
Saying that isn't enough. How are you gonna go about it?
"With evidence points and planned rebuttals, just like I would a case. All of his apologies are the same, I'm more than prepared for it."
What about your emotions, bebecita? You think you'll be able to just turn them off?
"You doubting my skills as a lawyer?" I asked, putting my phone back to my ear as I went in the restaurant to pick up my order.
No, mami. Of course not, I know how good you are at your job. I mean, you get so many cases, you're there damn near every time I have jury duty. But this is different. You actually know him personally and love him.
I pouted as I confirmed my order. I paid for my food and went back to my car with it, "You worried about me?"
I am. I've watched him play countless women into sleeping with him after an argument. Then all of a sudden there was never a problem to begin with. He's been perfecting that since high school to the point that it's damn near a foolproof way to get back in your pants.
"You think...that's all he wants from me?"
No, but I think that if he fucks you, you'll let him back in like he never hurt you in the first place. And I know this is selfish, but if he gets his spot in your life back, then everything with us gets put on hold again. I don't wanna go back to barely seeing you and never talking to you.
I pouted, getting back in my car to pull off, "Aww, Hanta! Are you saying you miss me when I'm gone?"
Yes, mami. That's exactly what I'm saying.
"Well, I'm not just gonna let him back in, so you don't have to worry about that."
Be careful, mariposa.
"I will. Why'd you start calling me a butterfly?"
Because you're slowly turning into something even more beautiful than before. I'm getting to watch you grow into a better version of yourself every day.
My heart did a backflip at that. "Thank you."
I told you, you never have to thank me. And I know this is sudden, but I gotta go. My mom's calling and she always talks forever, by the time she hangs up you'll probably be busy again. But call if you need me, yeah?
I nodded, my mood dampening slightly, as I pulled into my complex. "Yeah. I'll call you later. I just made it home."
Bien. Besos.
I kissed at him through the phone, before removing it from my ear.
[call ended]
_________________
When I looked at the time, I realized we'd been on the phone for nearly an hour. We were never on the phone that long. For whatever reason, it made me happy.
I moved to unlock my door and heard footsteps approaching on my left. I looked to see my neighbor, giving her a simple smile and short wave.
"Y/n."
"Jesus!" I flinched, snatching my keys out the door as I quickly moved away to see who was in my ear. Somehow, Zay had appeared on my right side without making a fucking sound.
I huffed softly, "I told you not to show up here unannounced."
"I texted you first. I said I was on the way."
I furrowed my brows and finally unlocked my door to go inside my apartment, leaving it open for him to follow as I checked my phone.
I shook my head, "I don't have a message from you."
He checked his own phone, "Oh, shit. I forgot to press send, sorry." He sent the message as if I needed it now that he was already here—not to mention I saw him type it out first.
He was already lying to me.
I dropped my work stuff and purse at the living room table then headed into the kitchen with my food. Zay followed silently.
"I got a lot to do. Make this quick," I said as Neo brushed against my leg. I smiled down at him, "Hi, handsome."
Zay sighed, "I know I'm the one that fucked this up—"
"Then you know I have no reason to regret my decision," I interrupted.
"Y/n, I'm sorry—"
I cut him off again, "You've said that. Does it actually mean anything to you?"
He stepped closer, "Yes. Will you let me speak? Please, baby."
I gave a short nod and crossed my arms as I listened.
"I'm the reason we're like this right now. I know that. I was never all that straight forward with my intentions because I thought we just understood each other. I didn't mind calling you my wife because you were genuinely the one I was coming home to. And I do love you, just not in the way that would've made you anything more than my best friend. I thought we were on the same page, the sex was just sex—"
I shook my head, not wanting to hear any more. At this point he was just saying shit. "I'm sorry, but can you get to the point?"
He furrowed his brows, "What?"
"I have four cases waiting to be started on in the living room. I don't have all night for this."
"Right, sorry." He reached to take my hand, "I just want us back. I hate fighting with you, hate when you're mad at me." He pulled me closer to him, "Tell me what I have to do to fix this." He lifted my chin, eyes closed as he leaned in to kiss me.
I instantly pushed him back and removed my hand from his as I walked around him, "Stop touching me. This is your apology, and we're supposed to be best friends. I shouldn't have to tell you how to fix it. But just so you know, sex isn't the way to do it, especially when I already told you more than once that I have work to do tonight. If you're supposed to be my best friend, why is it that you don't know how to apologize to me. And what's worse, you're the only one I'm constantly fighting with."
"That's just what happens after you've been with someone for a while," he tried to reason.
"Katsuki and I have been seeing each other for a year, and despite how brash he is, he's never once disrespected my boundaries. I can count on one hand how many times we've fought. And every time he apologized, he did it without trying to fuck me," I started.
"I've been seeing Hanta for four years, and we've been on plenty of trips ranging from week-long to damn near month-long. In other words, we've lived together, the same way you and I have, on multiple occasions. I can also count how many fights I've had with him on one hand. I just spent over a week living in his house with him, letting him come home to me, the same way you used to. We didn't fight at all, had sex one time, and the only time I cried was when I told him how terrible you treat me."
He tried to reach for me, "Baby—"
I pushed his hand away, "I'm not done and I asked you not to touch me. My parents have been married almost forty years and hardly ever argue. Before I moved out, my parents had only fought as bad as we do every week, once. Your logic is severely flawed. The time-in has nothing to do with it. When you truly love and respect someone, and when that feeling is mutual in the relationship, arguments aren't a daily thing."
"And anyway, the first thing you said when you walked in was a lie. You have face ID so you should've only touched your screen around three times, since you don't have to put in a password to unlock it—once to open your messages, once to go to my name, and once send your 'forgotten' message. Now let's say you did have to put in your password. It would change to around nine times because your password is six digits. It would've taken an extra two—for a total of either five or eleven—to close an unwanted app that may have been open when you unlocked your phone."
"I watched you touch your screen a total of six times. You opened messages, went my name, typed 'OTW' then pressed send. Now tell me I'm wrong, when I know I'm right."
He licked his lips silently, glancing away from me for a moment.
"Exactly. You disrespected my boundaries again and lied about it. I would've been less upset if you said you'd just forgotten to text me first all together, because I can't prove that you didn't forget and I don't usually require you to do that. But you didn't 'forget to press send', the message was never typed to begin with. I don't know if you planned on texting first or thought my rules just didn't apply to you, nor do I care to find out. Stop wasting my goddamn time and lock the door on your way out."
"Y/n—"
"You have five seconds before I call security to come escort you out and have your name put on a blacklist so you're not allowed back in my complex."
He sighed, "When can I see you again?"
I'd already started on my food, "Whenever my schedule allows. I won't continue to make time for someone who repeatedly ignores my boundaries. Goodnight, Izaiah."
He walked out without responding and slammed my door behind him. I sighed heavily with my eyes closed, dropping my head in both annoyance and frustration.
"Why am I even putting up with this shit?" I asked myself.
My phone rang with a call from my boss and I groaned dramatically.
________________
Current Call: Bank🤑
"Hello?"
You better not still be in that goddamn office.
I chuckled, putting what was left of my dinner away to start on my work. "No, boss. I'm at home."
Did you eat? I know you skipped lunch, dumb ass.
"That ain't how you talk to me and you know it."
Do you have food or not, damnit?!
"I got wings on my way home."
That's not enough. Let me cook for you.
"You should do that for your wife, Katsuki."
I did, and I came clean over dinner. She's not happy, but she said she suspected it. I'm taking your advice, and I wanna move forward with her, but I don't want to do this over the phone.
I sighed, "As happy as I am for the two of you, and as nice as that sounds, I have four cases to work on."
Then it doesn't have to be today. I just can't break this off in a shitty way when you've been everything I needed for more than a year.
"We can talk tomorrow on my lunch break."
Are you actually gonna take a lunch break tomorrow?
"I don't know yet. Depends on how busy I am."
I'll drag you out of that office if I have to.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you in the morning."
Don't overwork yourself.
"Says the one that assigned me four cases as soon as I came back."
I know you can handle it. But if you think it's too much—
"I never said that."
Then we're on the same page. Goodnight, princess.
"Wait, if we're ending this... Where's my last allowance? You don't get to just not give me my money."
I'll deposit it into your account as soon as you let me hang up. You can get most of it tonight and the rest when you take your lunch break tomorrow so I can make sure you don't skip meals.
"Does that mean you'll give me a bonus if I eat breakfast tomorrow, too."
You hardly ever eat breakfast. But sure. If you actually eat breakfast—and I don't mean just a piece of toast. It has to be a full course. If you can do that and finish it, I'll give you a bonus.
"Thanks, daddy."
You're welcome, princess. Don't stay up too late.
"I wont. Goodnight."
Goodnight.
[call ended]
_________________
I waited a few minutes before checking my account. My eyes were blown wide at the number.
"God, I'm gonna miss his money," I sighed bittersweetly at the half a million that'd just been deposited into my account. "Momo's a lucky girl. If I was in her position, I definitely wouldn't work."
I refocused on organizing my caseloads and did all I would for the night. It was after ten when I finally sat back from my work. I yawned and stretched widely, then stood to head for my room.
Neombe came out of nowhere to brush against my leg and circle my feet. I picked him up, "Hey, my sweet boy."
He purred loudly in my arms as I took him to my room. I put him on the floor and continued on my way to get clothes for my shower.
I started the water then grabbed Neo's feather toy—his absolute favorite of everything he had. He came over to me instantly to play with it.
He pounced and pawed at it as I wiggled it in every space around him. And once I felt like it'd been long enough for my shower to get hot, I left Neo to get in.
I sighed as the hot water surrounded me. I couldn't help thinking about my conversation with Zay. I just felt like we shouldn't have ended it the way we did, but I was also proud of myself for keeping my personal boundaries intact this time.
After my shower, all I wanted to do was sleep. I closed my eyes, starting to relax until I heard glass break in the living room.
My eyes shot open and I instantly flipped on my lamp to find Neo. He was right beside me, which could only mean someone had just broken into my house.
I grabbed my gun and peeked out my bedroom door, seeing a person's shadow move across the moonlight on the floor. I quietly closed and locked the door, taking my cat to hide in my closet.
My first thought was to call Zay, but despite trying three times, he wasn't answering.
"Fuck," I whispered.
I was about to call Hanta, when my phone rang, the vibration scaring the shit out of me. Still, I mentally thanked myself for not having my ringer on.
________________
Current Call: Izaiah
My bad for not answering. I was—
"It doesn't matter. There's somebody in my house," I whispered frantically.
What? Where are you?
"Hiding in my closet. Zay, I'm scared out of my fucking mind," I replied, trembling in fear.
Where's your gun?
"In my hand."
Stay where you are and stay on the phone with me. I'll be there in five minutes.
I nodded, wiping the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. "Please, hurry."
I could hear him starting his car as he responded. I'm coming, baby, but I need you to stay calm.
I took deep breaths with him to calm myself before noticing how still the house sounded. It was completely silent.
"I think they left—" I whispered. I heard heavy footsteps thudding towards my room from the other end of the hall.
"I was wrong, they're coming this way," I quickly corrected.
I'm pulling up, but I need you ready to protect yourself until I'm there.
I cocked my gun, keeping it in my hand as the boots slowly got closer. They stopped right outside my bedroom before I heard the knob twist back at forth.
"Jeez, beautiful. You lock your bedroom door, too?" the unfamiliar voice called.
I didn't dare respond to him as tears streamed down my face again.
[call ended]
________________
Zay hung up suddenly, and I almost panicked until I heard his voice down the hall. "You're in the wrong apartment, dickhead," he announced.
"Who the hell are you?" the intruder growled.
"She's knows me. That's all that matters."
There was a series of rough thuds, so I knew they were fighting, but when a gun shot rang out that I didn't let off, my heart dropped.
I heard a pained cry from Zay as the heavy boots took off down the hall and out the front door.
"Y/n," he called.
"No, no no no," I muttered, leaving my hiding place to confirm what I already knew had happened.
I opened the door to find him leaning against the wall and holding his shoulder as blood leaked down his arm.
"Zay!" I sobbed, reaching for him.
He shushed me and kissed my head, "It's just a graze, I'll be okay. Get me a belt."
I nodded and hurried to do as he said, watching as he tightened it around his arm to stop the bleeding. He moved passed me to wash the blood off his hands and arm, picking up Neombe to give to me when he came back.
He pulled me into him, cradling my head as I sobbed into his chest. "I'm here, baby. Whenever you need me."
"I don't wanna sleep here," I said through my hyperventilating and trying to ignore the fact that his shirt smelled like another bitch's perfume.
He pressed another kiss to my head, "Get your stuff. Let's go."
I nodded, giving Neo back to him as I slipped on a pair of Crocs and quickly gathered my work documents from the living room table.
He was waiting patiently when I turned around. "Is that all you need?"
I nodded silently, walking out in front of him. The ride back to his house was the same way—neither of us spoke and he didn't play music either. It stayed that way as he let me into his apartment. He went into his bathroom to clean and dress his wound properly while I laid in his bed, gently stroking Neo's back.
He joined me a few minutes later, moving the cat to pull me into his arm. His lips pressed against my forehead then my own softly before he spoke. "You okay?"
I nodded, pulling him back in to kiss me. He pulled away to kiss my shoulder and rubbed up and down my back.
"I love you. I swear to God, I do. I'm sorry I keep fucking up when I try to show it."
I pulled myself closer to him, too scared to let go, "I love you, too."
I knew we still weren't back to normal, but knowing he was still here for me, despite our fight, brought me some comfort.
When I woke up, his eyes were already open and somewhat bloodshot.
"Did you sleep?" I asked softly, stroking over his cheek.
He closed his eyes at the gentle touch, "Not really."
"Why not?"
He chuckled softly, "Kinda hard to with a hole in my arm."
"So you've just been up? In pain?"
"Eh... Discomfort. I've had worse than a bullet graze," he dismissed.
I laid on his chest again, "I really hate your job."
"But you love the money I give you from it," he returned.
I sat up to glare at him, "You really think I care about that more than your life? I have my own money, Izaiah."
He sighed, "That's not how I meant that. C'mere, relax." He pulled me back into his arms and squeezed gently, "I know you're worried about me, but you don't have to be. I'm here, right? I'm always here, baby. You can't get rid of me."
"I don't want to. I wasn't kidding, Zay. I wanna be your wife." I sighed and got up from the bed, "But I won't wait for you. If you can't get your shit together, I'll move on."
"'Get my shit together'?" he scoffed, sitting up to watch me.
"That's what I said."
"So what am I doing wrong for you to say I don't have it together? I have a consistent job, my own place and car, I'm making good money—"
"It's not just about the money, Zay."
"But you won't even fuck with a nigga if he ain't got it to spoil you."
"Because I know how much I make. If I can handle my own, my partner should be able to do the same. Being spoiled isn't a priority when I can get the shit for myself. Yes, I want to be spoiled so I don't have to spend my own money, but it's not a requirement. What I need is for your heart to be in it. I need you to want me the way I want you. I need you to want us as much as I do. But you don't."
He silent for a moment, watching me move around the room as I got ready for work. "What makes you think I don't?" he asked suddenly.
"That fact that I know there was another bitch in your bed before I called you," I muttered, putting my heels on.
"There definitely wasn't anyone else in my bed. You just be saying anything," he scoffed.
I flipped the pillows I'd slept on, grabbed the panties and threw them at his chest, "Lie again."
"These are yours," he lied.
"Nigga, I ain't wore Pink panties in months. You know goddamn well me and Mani are boycotting Victoria's Secret right now for discontinuing her favorite perfume. I literally whined on the phone with you about having to throw all my stuff away. And anyway, I wear a fucking medium, what the fuck I'm'a have some extra-large panties for?" I growled.
"Baby—"
I cut him off as I grabbed my stuff
and picked up Neo, "Kiss my ass."
I turned to leave and of course he followed me to the door.
"Even if I did have somebody else in my bed, why would that matter? I tried to do that with you, but you didn't let me. So that would've been your own fault if it happened. But it didn't," he mansplained and lied.
I scoffed and stopped to face him, "Why am I not surprised that it's my fault? This whole situation is my fault. I'm the reason we're fighting. Everything is always my fault with you. But I'm the problem, right?" I asked, putting my things and cat down.
"I'm just so high strung all the time. And I'm so spoiled and needy," I pouted with doe eyes, stepping closer to him. "I should just stop playing and let you fuck me. That's all I really want. Fuck me so rough I pass out. I don't need a ring or a title. I just need to be open and available whenever you want me."
I pressed my lips to his in a hungry kiss that he instantly melted into. His hands gripped my ass roughly, almost lifting me off the floor, as he dragged me closer to deepen the kiss.
I bit his lip as I pulled away, rage burning behind my tearful eyes, "I mean, it's not like I'm traumatized 'cause a nigga broke in my house with a loaded gun to rape me last night."
My jaw clenched as I shoved him off me, "All you think about is pussy."
"What?! You just came on to me! What was I supposed to do?!"
"You're right. I came on to you while telling you everything you wanted to hear. Everything that's the exact opposite of what I've been saying since the fucking beginning! You don't hear shit I say unless it's about fucking!"
He took my hands, "I do, baby. I hear you. I'm listening right now. But you can't blame me for what just happened when you initiated it. That's not fair."
I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands away. I picked up my workload and fur baby again then started to leave. "Life ain't fair. Anyway, guess you better call your big bitch 'cause I still not letting you fuck," I shrugged.
He caught my arm as I opened the front door, "Okay, wait. Just let me explain."
"Explain what, Zay?! We had a fight and you immediately turned around and slept with another bitch. Ain't shit left to fucking explain. You not my nigga and I'm not your bitch. What you do is what you do. But don't sit here lie in my fucking face."
I left and slammed the door behind me, deciding to mute his contact for the day. I was gonna be late to work and my boss would be pissed about me bringing my cat, but I was genuinely traumatized, so if I wanted to bring my cat to work I would.
Sɴᴇᴀᴋʏ Lɪɴᴋ