"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
So many people cheered inside the pup as the five people in the table in front of the crowd, tried to drink their ale fast enough.
Miel chuckled as she watched Vex, Vax, Pike and Keyleth try to beat Grog at a drinking game. Like Percy, she didn't like drinking too much. But she would join their drinking games sometimes, meanwhile Percy just drinks wine in the corner, like the noblemen he, probably, was.
Grog slammed his tankard on the table and yelled "Yeah! That's right! Who's the best!? Yeah!!" As everyone cheered for him.
"Grog wins. Again" Percy announced and took a sip of his wine
"Oh fuck me. Why do we always play drinking games with a guy twice our size?" Vax asked
"Because it's the fastes way to get drunk" Vex and Miel responded
"You're something else when your drunk as well" Miel chuckled as she wrapped her arms from behind around Vax.
"How can you tell the difference?" Vex said
"Who's drunk? Not me. I'm great" Keyleth giggled, "I think we should...should..." before she could finish her sentence she barfed onto the floor
Pike reached over to rub her back as she continue to spew her guts out. "Didn't you have one ale?" Pike asked before glancing at the floor and almost puking herself, "oh, so chunky"
Some guy walked by, stepping in Keyleth's vomit and groaned in disgust as he looked at the Ashari.
"Watch it, bitch" he said and shoved her back into Pike and walked off
Everyone glared at him and Grog stood up
"Hey! You watch it, dicknose" he called out
"Easy Grog" Pike said, "we don't waste time with talking assholes, remember?"
Grog hummed, a bit disappointed
"Oi! Tavern keep!" Vex yelled out, another round for Vox Machina, the greatest band of mercenaries in all the realm!"
At that, they heard laughter coming from the same rude guy
"The greatest? I heard you couldn't even rescue a cow from a burning barn" he said as he and his whole group laughed, "Vox Machina, what a fucking joke"
The group gave each other a slight glance before Vax made his way over and stabbed his dagger on the table in front of them
"Let's keep things civil, friend. We're not looking for trouble" he calmly said as he stared them down.
The man stood up, "oh, I'll bet you ain't" he said as he grabbed Vax by his shirt, "Everyone knows you're a bunch of pathetic losers who can't get a fucking job" the man smirked down at Vax, "look at you scrawny ass. Too weak to satisfy your girl and too weak to tickle your own pickle"
"Are you offering to help?" Vax chuckled as he brought his hand up to touch the man's arm
"Yeah" the man said and then realized what Vax had asked and moved away from him, not releasing his grip, "wha, well, no...fuck you!" He growled
"Oh, I'm only asking you to give me a hand" Vax said as he grabbed the man's arm and pulled back, straightening his arm enough for Grog to slice it from the wrist.
The man fell back and screamed in pain, holding his wrist.
"You know, love, I think he's willing" Miel said coming up next to Vax, "and for the record, he satisfies me plenty"
"Can I keep this?" Grog asked holding up the man's hand and the couple just shrugged with a chuckle.
The man growled as he stood up, "don't just stand there gawking, louts. Kill them!" He ordered his group
Vox Machina readied their weapons as the other group lunged at them. Vax pulled out his daggers. Vex readied her bow. Miel pulled out her staff from the Bag of Holding. Pike made her shield appear. Grog readied his axe. Keyleth was using her staff to keep herself up. And Percy was just standing in the corner.
The man punched Grog. Pike blocked another's blade. Vax was punched to the side, hitting the edge of the counter and grabbed an abandoned tankard and downed it before swiftly making his way to Vex.
Back to back, the twins saw a car come up to them with their blade drawn. At the same time, Vex shot he arrow and Vax threw a knife. Both hitting them on the shoulders.
"I had him" they both said as the pushed off each other.
Percy dodged a tankard to his right then moved to his left to avoid a woman's blade. Before she could swing again, Percy stood up with his gun pointed at her chin. The woman stared for a second before chuckling and was about to swing, when Grog yelled from behind her.
"I'm coming Percy!"
"Oh no"
Grog landed on both the woman and Percy
"Oops"
Another mercenary broke a chair over Grog's head. The Goliath merry turned to them and roared right in their face.
Vex had three arrows ready, but right as she was about to release them she trip backward over Pike.
"Pike, love, can you try to stay out of the way?" Vex argued
"Hey, come on. You tripped over me" Pile argued back as she summoned her shield, blocking something being thrown at her. Then they moved out of the way from a blade.
Vax noticed one of the mercenaries had their pouch of coins on their belts and went ahead and swiped it.
"I'll take that" he muttered and tossed it to his sister
"Not bad brother" she complimented as she moved away from a blade.
The hound mercenary saw Keyleth alone and decided to go for her. The Ashari wasn't feeling well, hence why she was alone, so she tried to move away from the hound, only to be cornered and get yelled at in her face.
Sadly, this made her puke...right into their open mouth, triggering their own puke. Then, vine came in from the window, wrapping around them
"Why does this happen every time we go out drinking?" She asked drunkly
"Cause someone always talked shit about us" Miel said as she blocked a blade with her staff and with her other hand, took out a blade and stabbed the mercenary a couple times before kicking them away
Vex moved away from the female mercenary until she was backed into a wall. She wasted no time in whistling, calling for their giant friend Trinket. Whom burst threw the wall looking for Vex
"Good boy Trinket. Over here" she chirped and flipped the female over to him, letting him drag her out.
Percy was flung to the side. He quickly got up and readied his gun to the mercenary who insulted them, only for Grog to come and battle him
"Grog, step aside!" Percy yelled in annoyance. Once he saw an opening, he went ahead and pulled the trigger, only for the gun to jam.
"Oh, bullocks"
Vax hit the wall behind him, "where the hell is Scanlan!?" He yelled as he caught Miel, who was thrown in his direction.
Percy was them picked up and thrown right threw a door, where the bard gnome was...with the tavern keep's daughter.
"For goodness sake! Percy, the hell man? If you wanted to join in, you got to ask first!" Scanlan scolded, not at all fazed that he was naked in front of the human.
"Scanlan, I should've know" Percy groaned, "could you put on some pants and help us?"
Miel tried to get one of the mercenary to let her go, but they were too strong. Vax then pulled them back, making them fall to the floor. Vax pulled out his dagger and Miel pointed her staff to the mercenary's throat. But before they could do anything, the Tavern Keep had returned from their cellar and cried out, making everyone stop in the tracks.
"First, you people drink me dry. Then, you destroy my tavern. And-and what is that gnome doing with my daughter!?"
"It's probably best you don't wanna know" Scanlan smirked before the girl made him continue pleasuring her.
"Who's paying for all this!?" They demanded
Vex, thinking quickly, walked up to them with fain innocents, "Goodness, such a mess. Absolutely dreadful" she said, "but I can assure you, darling. Vox Machina will find those responsible..."
"Ah-ta-ta, don't even try it" the Tavern Keep stopped her, not falling for it, "money. Now"
Vax came up behind her as she pulled the pouch behind her back, "well, you see-" and chandelier dropped down next to them, "we don't exactly have any money on us, per se, but if you give me five..."
Before Vex could try to weasel the out, the Tavern Keep threw everyone out. Even Scanlan, but naked, before throwing him his clothes.
"And stay out!" They growled
Vox Machina stayed there on the streets for a while, trying to sober up a bit and think what else to do after that.
"Does this mean we're officially banned from every tavern in Emon?" Keyleth asked
"Oh shit, does it? I wasn't keeping count" Miel chuckled lightly, leaning on Vax.
"Wonderful" Vax grunted, "we've got no money. No place to live. And fuck all for prospects"
"Well, perhaps if someone didn't accidentally decapitate the last fellow who hired us" Percy said angrily, glaring at Grog - who was playing with the severed hand.
"Well, I apologized, didn't I?" He asked making the hand pull out the middle finger.
"We have a mountain of debts, and..." she checked the stolen pouch, "oh good, three silver to our name. We need a job. Anything will do at this point"
"I mean, if protecting carts from swindlers and killing goblins for gold isn't getting us anywhere" Pike spoke as she looked at them, "I don't know, maybe...maybe we could try doing some good this time?"
Everyone stared at her for a second before saying in unison: "nah"
"Pike, ethics are a luxury we currently can't afford" Percy tried to reason
"Have you guys ever thought: maybe we're not really meant to do this?" Keyleth asked, "I mean, Vex, Vax and Miel only care about each other"
"Well, fuck you" the three said
"Grog wants to murder everyone"
"Yeah pretty much"
"Percy barley want to be seen with us in public...and Scanlan..."
"Wants to bed everyone in realm. Yes, you can say it Keyleth, I am not ashamed" Scanlan said proudly as he and Grog put their stuff away in the Bag of Holding.
Keyleth sighed, "honestly, why are we even together?"
Silence filled the air along with awkwardness after her question...until Scanlan broke it.
"Welp, while you're all moping around, I have to drain the proverbial basilisk" he said and walked off.
After a couple minutes he came running back with a flyer in his hand.
"This! This is our purpose" he said holding it up for them to see
WANTED: Mercenaries
"Fighting for Justice, for glory, protecting the kingdom and stuff. And most importantly lots of money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
By sunrise, they had made it to the sovereign's home. As they were.
Keyleth sighed, remembering how they look, "we're really gonna see the sovereign looking like this?" She asked
"She's got a point" Miel said glancing at the group
They were all hungover, dirtied with ale and blood, hair out of place, probably smelling of puke, and half asleep. As if the walked out of a bar...which they did.
"Halt!" The guards at the gate called out
Vex quickly pulled out the flyer that Scanlan took and unfolded it to show them why they were there
"Okay, we'll take you in, but the bear waits outside" they said and everyone looked sadly at Trinket before walking in.
They walked inside into this giant room.
"Excuse me" Keyleth tried to get the group's attention, but to no avail.
She tried two more times before Grog let out a giant belch, echoing through the room, catching their attention.
"I'm sorry, who the hell are you?" The dwarf asked disgusted
"Vox Machina" Percy introduced, "you see it's actually a someone clever play in words-"
"Hi slay we don't care" a gray man interrupted rather rudely, "sire, I wanted you the notice would attract the sum of Emon"
"Excuse you?" Vex and Miel glared
"I think Sir Fince means a foe this deadly requires more seasoned-"
"Krieg, don't bother with this drunken buffoons. Guards!" Fince called
Two guards tried to escort them out, but Grog growled at one of them and Vex pushed the other away.
"Buffoons? Clearly you've never heard of the Legend of Vox Machina" Scanlan said and got his lute out, "allow me to give you a proper introduction"
"Oh, gods, here we go" Vax groaned
"Your Excellence tried the best fighters
Who've adventures far and wide
But I promise that you've never
Met a troop so qualified!
There's Grog out mighty giant, he's a simple-minded hulk
And Percy's pepperbox can blow apart your fucking skull
Nature hath no fury like Keyleth the Ashari
Controlling plants and animals, she's a magical safari
The twins, Vex and Vax, she shoots, he hides in the pitch
They're stealth and quite deadly, but I forget which one is which"
"He's Vax"
"She's Vex"
"Our warlock trainee, Miel, is quite friendly all around
Though her powers are so dangerous, she still can be profound
Pike's divinity is pure, her hands can always heal
Oh and did I mention we have a bear?
Trinket, no big deal
And for myself? My name is Scanlan
The man with the phat purple hand
My music's the jam, going ham, you can't stand it
Get some water, hide your daughters-"
The sovereign cleared his throat
"Oh sorry,
Brave warriors are we and far more clever than a fox
They'll tell tale of our exploits in the Legend of Vox Machina, a-thank you very much"
The council stared, unsure, for a while.
"Give the council a moment to discuss your curious group" the sovereign announced
Scanlan was the only one who was waiting patiently for their answer. Everyone else was either asleep or just waiting for them to dismiss them already so they could leave.
"Very well, you're hired, Vox Machina" the sovereign announced, "mainly because I like the bear. Lady Allura will accompany you to the Shale Steps, the village closest to the last attack"
Vex, Vax and Miel glanced at each other and smirked at the sovereign
"So, what exactly are we killing, and how much are we making?" Vax asked with a smirk
"We don't know what you're killing" Krieg said, "but once you kill it, all this is yours" he gestured to a gold box that was carried by one of the guards.
Everyone looked shocked at their payment, and decided to take it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Later on, after Vox Machina cleaned up a bit, they were escorted to a flying ship with Shale Steps as its destination.
"I'm telling you guys, I felt it, right there in that throne room. I haven't felt that sense..."
While everyone was enjoying the scenery, Vex was telling Vax and Miel of the sense she felt while in the throne room.
"Isn't this ship amazing?" Until Scanlan appeared, "there's two bathrooms downstairs. Hey, by the way, why are you both whispering like we can't hear you?"
"Can you mind your own business for once, gnome?" Vex asked annoyed
"As you can see, the creature has already razed three villages and miles of farmland" Allura explained walking up to them, "if this evil persists, the kingdoms will starve to death"
"This mission sounds kind of deadly" Keyleth chuckled nervously, "do we really want to do this?"
"Yes, this is dangerous, which is why only the most noble, heroic and true-"
"Yeah, yeah, nobility and heroism is fine and all, but we're in this for the money" Vax interrupted her
"I see. So it's coin over character" Allura said in a bit of a disappointment tone
"Meh, kind of" Miel shrugged
After a while the ship lowered and Vox Machina got off
"The Shale Steps are beyond that hill. Good luck" Allura said as she turned to leave, but looked over her shoulder, "please don't, oh, fuck this up, as they say"
"Thanks for the sweet ride" Scanlan called, "you'll be back to pick us up later, right?" Instead of an answer, the ship quickly flew off and the group started walking, "yeah, she'll be back"
After a while of walking they came upon a small, small, village.
"What we doing here again?" Grog asked Pike
"The last attack was just south of here. We're gonna ask around, see if anyone knows anything" Pike answered
"What do you think it is?" Miel asked from her spot on top of Trinket, next to Vax.
"What?"
"What we're hunting, of course. Do you think it's a person, or..." Miel glanced at Vex, who was with Percy and Scanlan asking a man questions, "do you think it might have been one of them?" She whispered
Vax chuckled as he twirled a silver coin around his fingers, "I don't know, I just wanna hurry this up and collect that reward"
Suddenly they heard Pike, "May the Everlight shine upon your home. Everything will be tip-top. Okay, I'm sure you'll survive these trying times, so, good luck?" She chanted in an sort of awkward way
Everyone looked at her in a bit of confusion
"Are you sure you're a holy person?" The man asked
"Yeah, I'm-I'm just out of practice. I don't really bless a lot of houses these days" she answered nervously
Miel smiled knowingly. The way Pike must feel after that question is probably the same way she feels about her own magic. After all these years, her magic still couldn't progress well.
Vax looked at her when he saw she clenched the Bag of Holding. He's seen all the times she's practiced her magic so he knows her thoughts on her magic.
"Wow!"
The small boy brought the couple out of their thoughts and saw the boy looking amazed at Vax as he flipped the coin back and forth on his fingers. Vax smiled at the boy
"Are you a wizard?" He asked
The couple chuckled as Vax kneeled down in front of the boy
"Nah. The magic's all in the fingers kid" Vax said as he made the coming disappear in his hand. Then he reached over to the boy's right ear and "pulled it out" to show him.
The boy gasped as he placed his hands over his ear in amazement. "And now it's in yours" he said as he placed it in the boys hands. Miel smiled softly at the cute display, "that's real silver. Keep it safe. There's a monster roaming about"
"You mean flying" the sister corrected when she came up next to the boy
"What's that?" Miel asked jumping off Trinket, next to Vax
"Something flew right over us" she explained, waving her hand over her head, "it knocked down the big tree in the hill. We heard wings beating but we couldn't see it in the storm"
"But it was big. Really big" the boy said
"Vax" the rogue turned his attention to his lover, whom was looking at the hill the girl pointed to.
At the tip of that hill, only, there were three to four big trees knocked over.
After telling the rest about what the kids told them, everyone made their way up the mountain. A couple hours later, they made it to the tree at the very tip that was knocked over.
"The girl was right" Miel said as they looked at the tree
"Whatever flew over was giant" Vax followed
The tree was enormous. Bigger than the others around it. It would not have fallen on its own.
"Vax, do you think-"
"Get over here!" Vex called out, "Trinket found something" Trinket sniffed the ground where there were tracks, "the tracks are too muddy to discern" Vex said and looked ahead, "but it looks like it took to the air and flew along the coast"
A couple more hours of following the tracks followed. Grog had asked for his axe a while ago, since they were getting closer. Following his idea, Miel took her own staff out. She looked at it a bit worried, but continued to follow the bear and ranger.
"Now they look...human?" Vex said as she stared at the boot shaped tracks. After a couple seconds of silence, Vex suddenly flinched, "it's close. Everyone, get ready" she warned
Then, something started rustling in the bushes ahead of them. At the movement, the ground got ready for any attack.
What they didn't expect, was a lamb to jump out.
Grog burst into laughter, "get the fuck out! What, a little lamb was behind all the mayhem?" He laughed as the lamb jumped away, "oh, don't let that thing bite you, Vex"
Suddenly, Vex grunted in pain as she fell to her knees clutching her head. They looked over to the lamb before it was squashed under a giant claw. The shadow of the beast looming over them, covering them completely.
An enormous blue dragon stared down at them. It's growling a clear sign of what it was about to do.
"Fuck!" Scanlan yelled
As if it was a cue, the dragon a blast of lightning at the group. They managed to move right before it attacked and narrowly avoided its flames.
Grog protected Pike. Keyleth, Vex and Trinket barley avoided its blast. Miel, Percy and Vax hid behind the trees, the rogue grabbing Scanlan out of the open, nearly avoiding its teeth.
The saw the dragon's neck light up and dared not move as it shot a blast around it, cutting the trees and setting them on fire.
"I suggest we run. Right now!" Percy said
"Fuck that!" Grog said as he readied his axe, "we fight!" He roared running at the dragon
"Grog! You dumb, brave asshole!" Vax yelled as they all ran after him
The dragon saw Grog coming and merely used its tail to flick him away.
"Grog's down already? Come on!" Scanlan complained as he, and Vex, stopped behind a log for cover. Vex fired two fire arrows and Scanlan sent his purple hand, but it didn't work. The dragon didn't even flinch.
Pike got her shield out as she and Vax ran out. Percy shot at it while Vax threw his daggers. Miel decided to follow Vax and threw her own daggers. Not that these attack did much.
"Keyleth! A little magic might help!" Vex yelled at Keyleth, who was on her knees, too stunned to move.
To Keyleth, everything was muffled as she looked around.
"Keyleth, snap out of it. Keyleth! Keyleth!"
Vex managed to snap the Ashari out of it.
"Sorry! Um...okay. Okay" Keyleth grabbed her staff and started to concentrate on a spell.
As her green gem glowed, the clouds above started to swirled. Seeing that Keyleth was about to use a giant attack, the group moved away from the dragon and regrouped next to her. Keyleth thrusted her arm up and swung it down. Thunder crashed down over the dragon, making a cloud of dust.
A few moments later, the dragon's blue eyes were seen as the dust started to clear.
"Did I make it worse!?" Keyleth asked, horrified at her mistake
The dragon'd neck started to glow, a sign that it was charging an attack.
Pike ran in front of the group and brought up her shield, marking it large enough for everyone behind her.
The dragon glared at her. Then, it's blue eyes looked up before firing its attack.
Miel gasped at the, quick, small action. But before she could say something, Vax pulled her close before it all went dark.
After a while, they heard the dragon's wings fade into the distance.
"Get me out. Get-get me out! I'm trapped under Grog's ass!" Scanlan yelled
At that, Grog and Trinket moved the rocks out of the way to reveal a vine barrier around the group.
"So, this is what tick bottom feels like" Percy said as he was trapped under everyone.
"At least we're still alive" Pike said, "thank the Everlight"
"And thanks to Keyleth for the giant shrub" Mirl said putting her staff away somewhat sadly
"But did she have to make it so thorny" Vac groaned pulling a thorn out
"That dragon. We almost died" Keyleth whimpered
"Except we didn't die. Because of you, Keyleth. You hear me" Pike reassured her, "we're alive because of you"
Keyleth nodded and followed Pike out of the shrub. "Grog, you're hurt"
"Nah, just a flesh wound. No big" he said as he was holding his side, "question: is this normal?" He asked as he moved his hand, blood immediately gushing out
Everyone instantly moved back
"Oh no"
"Holy shit"
"I'm gonna throw up"
Pike walked up to him, "hold still old friend" she said as she held up her hand, "I got you" her hand glowed gold and slowly Grog's wound stopped bleeding and closed up
"Oh, I feel better already. Thanks Pike, you're the best"
"Oh, that took a lot out of me" Pike groaned as she fell back, only for Scanlan to catch her
"I got you"
"Thanks...uh you can put down now" she said and Scanlan quickly let go, letting her stand in her own
"Oh uh yeah"
Vax dusted off his cape as he was the first to speak of the situation
"Alright, fuck Uriel and all of this, we're down here" he said, "we didn't sign up for certain death"
"But we did, technically, agree to see this through" Miel said
"Must I remind you, we gave our word to the council?" Percy spoke up, "that should probably mean something"
"Oh, who gives a soggy anus about the council?" Scanlan said, "the only words I care about is Scanlan Shorthalt...and yes, I know that's two words but you know what I'm saying"
"Yeah. What have those fuckity-fucks ever done for us?" Grog agreed, "except give us a job and a bunch of gold and treasure and stuff?"
"We've fought a lot of things..." Keyleth spoke, "but a dragon? An actual dragon?"
"It's not about the council" Pike said, "or the contract. It's about these people. They need us. We can't just tun away"
Percy sighed, "this is why I hate traveling with holy people. They're too goddamned good"
"Pike, this creature is beyond us" Vex said, "when Vax and I were young, one of those monsters killed our mother. I've studied dragons my entire life, hoping to find the one that did it. I can feel when they're close. A horrid pain in my head"
"Then it's settled" Percy said, "we'll go back to the palace and get out of the contract"
"You don't understand, Percy. I felt it there too, at the palace."
"Y-you're just telling us this now?" Scanlan asked
"I'm sorry, I...I wasn't certain until the dragon...it's been years since mother..."
Vax placed his hand on her shoulder, "are you sure, Vex'ahlia?"
"I know what I felt. Someone on the council must have been in contact with the dragon, or...I don't know but I'm sure it was real"
"Then we walked away from all of this" Vax said, "it's not worth it. You heard her. One of them might be working with that monster. Let's just get the hell out of here and never set foot in Emon again. Can we all agree on that?" He said as he grabbed Miel's hand and the four walked off.
As they walked back down the mountain, hours later, it began to pour when they finally made it back to Shale.
But when they made it back, a horrible sight welcomed them.
"Oh no" Vex gasped as Vax ran into the town
The town was destroyed. Traces of the dragons flame was left everywhere.
"It wiped them out...all of them" Pike gasped
Miel ran after Vax, knowing where he was headed. When she walked inside the broken house, she saw the bodies of the family from before in the floor. Unmoving and burned and splattered with blood. Vax was seated next to them with his head down. Tears weld up in Miel's eyes as she walked behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
The rest of the group caught and saddened at the sight of the family they spoke to not more then a few hours ago.
Suddenly, a weak groan was heard. Vax stood when he heard it and when it was heard again, he and Grog ran to a fallen wall and pushed it up. As Grog held it, Vax pulled the bloodied boy out
"Pike! Get over here!" He called
Pike quickly made her way to him, and without being told, got to work on trying to heal the boy. But her light flickered on and off.
"Please Everlight. Let your power reach him" she begged
"Pike, please" Vax pleaded as he held the boy's hand
"Shit! No, I can't do it. I'm still too weak from before"
The boy groaned and exhaled one last time as his hand slipped from Vax's.
The rogue placed him down gently and stood up, balling his fist in anger. "We could've stopped this...should have"
Then, a slight plucking of stings was heard behind the group and they turned to see Scanlan tuning his lute.
"What the hell are you doing, Scanlan?" Vax demanded
"Thinking of a rhyme for 'dead dragon'...cause I guess we're killing one" he answered
"Agreed" Miel said, "this cannot stand. So many have fallen already and now that we've seen it with our own eyes, that monster must be stopped"
"I'm in" Keyleth said, "I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I'm terrified out of my mind. But I'm in"
"I don't like losin" Grog said, "but now I'm feeling things on the inside. They don't feel right. So yeah, I'm with ya"
"That was...actually well stated, Grog" Percy said
"What was?"
"Urg, never mind. Count me in as well"
"You guys...we're doing this" Pike said
"You all realize we're going to die a truly horrible death" Vex said
"Perhaps, sister" Vax said as he stared at the coin he had given the boy, "but we'll die gloriously and we'll kill a fucking dragon"