E M M A'S POV:
When we drove out of the parking lot and onto the street heading for the freeway, I noticed Christopher being so closed off, awkward and just to himself. He was so quiet it actually scared me. Whenever he's quiet like this I know something bad is about to happen. And it's something I'm not ready to fucking experience right now. It was a bad feeling that my stomach cramped.
I wasn't sure if I did something wrong. I couldn't read his mind, so I was a little confused and very worried. But I was frustrated by how closed off he was being. And I know for a fact, I must've done something wrong for him to ditch, and just act like he's upset but politely pretending he's fine which is unusual for him. Or maybe not. But he usually just comes out being very blunt and telling me how he is feeling. But I'm getting the feeling that he is upset with me. And I want him talking to me. But instead his words were cold and very clear that he was annoyed. So I just stayed in my head, trying to figure out what might be happening right now.
I really hope that this isn't about Matt and me. I might've done all of it wrong. And I didn't wish to start anything when he's driving. And I knew that I definitely did something wrong probably because I was hanging out, catching up with Matt for no more than twenty minutes. And Christopher must've felt pushed away. Which I'm starting to figure out right away. And I do feel obviously sad about it, and I'm certainly so aware that I just messed this up. And he was driving like he was alone. I felt like I was being ghosted, and I felt like crap all of a sudden, because I know I did something not right and maybe I should take the responsibility. But I wasn't going to just assume anything, so I took my time, and just sat in the car in the passenger front seat, buckled in, and letting the freeway be the only sight to my eyes. And I felt stuck because I was definitely stuck on it.
I saw many cars and vehicles just passing along on the freeway beside us, behind us and ahead of us. And I just felt bored, and I was afraid to speak that he might snap at me. I wish there was a way to make him pull over and to stop driving so if an argument broke out we wouldn't get into a car accident.
"Christopher?" I was very patient, trying not to make this a big issue so I sort of just spoke to him like everything was fine. "Are you okay?"
He stepped on the gas pedal with more force and his hands gripped very tightly onto the steering wheel. He was definitely upset about something. And I felt like I was being judged, and I thought we should talk this out so we're not awkward at all.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He spoke very coldly. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know... you seem upset. With me, I think. But I don't know. Did I do something to upset you?" I said.
I was definitely being the reason behind his cold demeanor. But I was gonna try my best to get through this and not get myself into any arguments about this, because I want him to be honest. Even if he is telling the truth, something is definitely wrong. I know him. I know him so well that this isn't normal for him. And I'm gonna try my every best to get through this, and actually realize what could be the truth. I can read people very well and he knows this. And I actually don't know if there is anything bothering him, whether it's me or not.
"I don't know, Emma. Did you?" He mocked me, in the worst tone of voice I've ever heard him say.
"I'm being serious, Christopher. What's wrong?" I said.
Somehow I could see how upset he was. He sped up at least thirty six miles per hour as the speed limit said. And he just looked so upset and so angry about something. But I wasn't going to pressure him anything.
"I don't know, Emma. Maybe because you basically abandoned me in there to talk to a guy I never met. Someone you never mentioned me. Not once. And you made me feel so stupid. I mean... what the hell? What the hell is wrong with you?" He was overly pissed, aggressive and angry at me, and I realized it was too much jealousy coming from him. And I don't know why he hates any guy I talk to that is my friend.
I didn't try to shove it in his face. If I did that, then I'm very apologetic about it because I had no idea it was like that. And I know that I can be a lot to handle. And I'm awful to do things without thinking. And I'm not perfect, but his jealousy is stupid and childish. Why doesn't he just accept my friends being my friends? Because I'm lost at this and I fucking hate him when he's like this.
"Matt is just a friend, Christopher." I explained calmly.
"Oh Matt? So you finally tell him his name to me." He said out of such a cruel way like nothing else mattered.
"I met him after I started dating Noah." I replied to him, but I stayed calm.
He flinched at the mention of Noah's name. And I don't blame him.
"So was he Noah's best friend of something?" He asked, and his energy was so mean and intense, that I can't reveal anything.
"No, he was a friend of mine. Actually, Matt was my only friend when I went through all the toxicity with Noah. Matt helped me. He gave me advice. He told me my relationship with Noah was bad and it wouldn't work out. But I never listened. I talked to him about you all the time. We were only ever friends, Christopher." I said, trying to really get through to him every time, no matter what.
He scoffed. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Your not listening to me, baby. I'm trying to tell you that you have nothing to feel threatened of." I looked at him, and I really saw how upset he was, and I wanted him to try to pull over right now. "Christopher, pull over."
He complied, even though I could see that he didn't want to. And when he pulled aside out of the freeway lane and he just stayed off to the side. And while he stayed there, he turned off the car.
"Okay." He sighed. "Speak."
"Matt is only a friend, I promise. You can trust me. Just like I trust you with all the girls who your friends with... like Lara Jean. Who you had sex with, let's not forget." I pointed out, making quite a fair but truthful point and there is no way he can run his way out of this.
"I do trust you. It's them I don't trust. I mean, he is not your friend. I mean, you practically had your hands all over him. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" He was not trusting me, even if he says he does, I suddenly felt so disgusted and insecure about myself because of how he is treating me.
"You don't have any right to judge! You slept with Lara Jean! You know, the girl who hates me so much. And you don't even seem to care." I replied being so judgmental myself because it is only fair. "I accept every girl friend of yours. Why can't you do the same?"
"Because I fucking can't!" He yelled, raising his voice. "And because you are mine. I try to accept any guy you talk to. But I can't. I can't like it. Guys throw themselves at you. And you don't even realize it."
I actually couldn't believe what he was saying. What he said didn't make it better or easier to understand. All I did was look directly at him, knowing that it isn't fair for him to actually be such a fucking hypocrite. It's not fair for him to do this.
"So your allowed to have Lara Jean and Leah as your girl best friends. But I can't have Matt as my guy best friend? You are such a hypocrite. And what's worse, is you fucked Lara Jean." I said.
"You and I weren't together when that happened." He defended himself.
I think he was just putting all of the blame on me. And I didn't quite deserve to be the only bad person is in this when we're both guilty. He's acting all innocent. But I know that what I did by not mentioning Matt to him was my mistake. And I should've told him. But I was so distracted by how his words didn't match how he looks. I mean, he is so beautifully attractive, and hes hot when he gets angry. And I'm doing my best to try to avoid it, and let my body say no to this. I was gonna ignore my hunger for his lips or his body. Instead, I was gonna be mad too. Because he makes me so angry and all I wanna do is just slap him across the face.
He obviously thinks I don't have a reason to be angry, when deep down it isn't fair for him to be so good friends with Lara Jean, in spite how much she hates me. And she in fact told me right to my face that Christopher deserves better than me. Like I don't know maybe another blonde like April or Peach. And I mean this respectfully. Because I know that it is ridiculous that Christopher can have girl friends but I can't have guy friends. How is that even a little bit fair? And it's not fair, it's him being a total hypocrite.
"It isn't the point." I spat at him, and he looked infuriated at me. "You slept with her, she's your friend and I have to accept it. Just like I have to accept that she hates me and thinks your better off without me in your life. And you don't even seem to care. You text her email her like you two are great? Why haven't you defended me?"
He bit his lower lip, and he looked ready to bolt any second but he was holding his anger back.
"I'm sorry that I have a friend who is now married to her. And we buried it a year ago. Ty knows about it. He's fine with it. Why can't you?" He looked at me like I was the only bad one here. And I felt like getting out of this car just to scream.
"Then why can't you trust and accept Matt being my friend in my life?" I used against him.
"Because no guy wants to be your friend. But it's more than just Matt, Emma. It's all of your friends. Their bad people. Moon was outside the restaurant while you were with Matt. And she literally asked me for something that if you pissed me off even a little bit more I would have done just get you so angry." He said.
I stopped, realizing how intense he's being. But he is right about my friends. Most of them are fake. But Matt is different. We have a lot in common like most friends. And first of all, Matt has a girlfriend. And he's actually in love and she was friendly to me when I was talking to them. He's actually the only person who always would understand me. He knew all the bad things I went through. He understood through experiences himself being in a toxic relationship he was once in. Yes, his ex girlfriend cheated on him with his cousin. And now he's dating this beautiful girl that he's happy with. And I'm so grateful for it. So Matt is different. If Christopher knew that, only then he'd understand. He would be making peace with him, Christopher would be inviting Matt over for a guys night along with Ty and Aaron. And they'd end up having cookouts and who knows what else.
I actually heard him mention how Moon was outside the restaurant that I find it so interesting that he said that. Was he just saying that to make me jealous? I mean, I could believe it. But what exactly did she say to him that he wanted to do to get me pissed? Kiss Moon or to sleep with her? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised because I can't imagine him doing it because unfortunately he has slept with all my friends except Victoria, Matt, Naomi and Moon. So far...
"What are you saying?" I asked.
"If I didn't have too much pride, I would have slept with Moon. She asked me to. But I told her that wasn't me. I told her I'm deeply in love with you, Emma. I've decided to be faithful. Because your all I love, Emma James. And I hope that you can only understand... there is no one else. And yes, I get jealous. I'll admit it. Because it's true. I'm afraid you'll leave me. And yes, I hate Lara Jean for what she thinks about you. And I will do everything I can to stop her bullshit wicked schemes. Because I don't care what Lara Jean thinks. She can't be my friend if she can't accept us. Because I choose you, Emma James. It's just you and me. And only you. Because I love you." He said, speaking in his monologue so perfectly it had him drowning in tears almost.
I knew that he was on my side no matter what even if he hasn't defended me yet. And of course, I know how much he loves me, and I only want to be with Christopher and this speech of his gave me hope. It made me think that there was us. And he knew that he was the only person who can love me completely, perfectly, incandescently happy.
I was the only person he could just love no matter what. And he obviously knew that. He knew that I was the one for him. It might've been the moment when we first met. But to him it was a crush. But when we kissed for the first time, that's when he must've known. He was obviously loving me for the longest time, and I had been loving him what felt like a lifetime. And still, I knew his love for me was stronger than anything. What else could make us this wild? Or insane? Or crazy? Or anything at all? Christopher has eyes for me. He observes everything so well. And my guess he went territorial on Matt because he didn't know him. And he was insecure about it. Which I take full responsibility because I didn't mention Matt to him because I actually forgot about him, not forgot but sort of just lost him due to everything that happened with me getting back together with Noah, then going to New York with Christopher. And then when I got shot and was in the hospital for weeks and then moving in with Christopher things just went crazy and I totally forgot to call or text Matt. And I didn't know anything what was going on in his life. It's been a year now. And now we finally meet again but probably at the wrong timing.
I know that having Christopher in my life is all that actually mattered. And here I was loving him for everything he says, and in his words he meant it. And this is what made me deeply in love with him. And I would never love anyone else like this except him, because he was perfect, he was the world— to me.
I kissed him, and once my lips hit onto his, I was too wound up into him. And he had forced his lips deeper into mine, and he begged for entrance, and his tongue went deep into my mouth and I accepted. I had unbuckled myself and I pulled him in by both sides of his face, and I kissed him with the most affection of passion. And I felt so turned on my him, and he had unbuckled and he had put his lips to my neck and I cried out a gasp. And almost immediately I fell deep into him.
When he kissed my neck, and I moaned out. He was so irresistible. And I was ready to remove all my clothes right here. But he had pulled away.
"Let's go somewhere a little more private." He said, and he had turned the car back on.
He had decided getting off the closest exit and to pull somewhere where nobody was. And when I looked down at his crotch, my eyes just were drawn to seeing how turned on he was. And nothing was going to pull me away from this. And as much as that was, I had got to his zipper and I unzipped him and I pulled down his pants enough to just spring him free. I stroked him and down with my hand.
"Emma, what are you doing?" He said so angsty and very confused as his voice was so raspy.
"I'm making you feel good." I admitted.
I still stroked him up and down.
"Can't it wait?" He chuckled uncomfortably. "We're about to go somewhere private for that."
"I can wait. But you can't." I replied, and my hand did the work by stroking still.
And so I had immediately stroked him up and down with my hand, but I prayed that he wouldn't get into an accident. And when I was stroking him up and down, he got harder by the minute. And he had groaned out, but I knew no matter what that I was just trying to frustrate him. Because if he released then he was taken good care of. But I wouldn't allow him to finish. And I did whatever I could to make him feel good. And every stroke with my hand on his member, he kept groaning and I knew that any second he was gonna combust. So I knew I had to stop, but I still continued. And he had moaned out my name multiple times. And he just cried out the loudest moan. And he had gripped the steering wheel hard as he felt me just stroking him up and down.
I had felt like I had all of the control. And with every stroke up and down on him he had tried to drive straight, but it was just impossible. And so he had pulled over, stepping on the break very fast. And while he was just pulling onto this road where nothing was in sight, not a car or anyone. And once we stopped, he had pulled me into him, and he pressed his lips to mine. I allowed him to be so hungry for me. He was empty without me. I knew that I was empty, so was he if I wasn't in his life.
And once my lips were on his, I moaned, and I growled, and then I pulled his his lower lip with my teeth. And I had thrown myself onto his lap, and I straddled him down. And I actually didn't care. But here's what I know. I know that I liked kissing him. And I felt cursed because I was in a car with him about ready to want to get naked with him. But I took his time as best as I could.
"What is it with us in cars?" He muttered under his breath, and we both went into a fit of laughter, and he pulled me in to kiss me with his tongue finding entrance.
I kissed him and there was too much passion between us, that I felt like doing nothing more but I had passion between us. And his hands ran down to my ass, and he squeezed it and I felt turned on so well. I pulled away, and his hands held onto my waist.
"This is amusing. But we have to get to the airport. In like ten minutes." I reminded him.
"Then it'll be a quickie." He pulled me me in, and we both kissed.
"Then let's get in the back." I laughed, and we both did just that.
We had climbed into the back of the car. And we kissed once we hit into the seats that were obviously comfortable. Christopher threw off his jacket and I took off my jacket, my shoes and socks and then I took off my shirt. And Christopher had threw his shirt onto the ground of the car. And he had taken off his shoes and pants.
We were completely naked now and he gently kissed me, but I turned so aggressive and I just got on top of him and I was hovering over him, and his hands slipped in through my hair, and he began to kiss my neck in pecks and I couldn't help but release moans. And all I could think about was him being inside me. But as we were naked together, I imagined us kissing with fireworks blasting above us and stars just glowing. And here I was just hovering over him and I see his gray irises looking more beautiful than ever. I put my fingers in his hair.
"You are the most beautiful girl I know, Emma James." He smiled, looking up at me, breathless.
I smiled, and I just looked through his beautiful eyes and saw I wasn't alone, because I had him. And it didn't take long for him, to kiss me but we were slow at the kiss that was so passionately and he had flipped me over onto my back and he hovered over me now, and all I could think of was having him inside me and he had kissed me all the way down my torso and down to my abdomen. And then he had reached to my melting, throbbing clitoris.
He had placed his mouth right on me, I cried out, and I slammed my hand on the window, and I just cried out multiple times in pleasure as I felt his tongue flutter over me, eating me out so good that all I could do is cry out for him. I looked down, seeing his head between my thighs. And I felt myself slowly started to getting closer to release. And he clearly continued to work his magic on me, and he just kept licking me on my clitoris. I had placed my hand on the back of his head, and immediately he still looked up at me, and he had eaten me out and I couldn't even breathe, but I thrusted my hips down to meet with him, and then he had put his finger inside me, and he gently started to thrust his finger in and out of me.
He looked up at me, while thrusting a finger inside me. "Fuck, your so wet."
I had started building up to a strong orgasm. And I stared right into his eyes and I started feeling myself ready to come on his fingers. But I kept feeling him going deeper into me. And I whined out, and with seconds I nodded and he knew I was close and I had finally reached my peak, and then he had looked into my eyes and that's when he too knew I was ready to orgasm. And with his head right between my thighs, it was absolutely enough, as the feeling of a burn flowed in my stomach and my body shivered for passion and urge and greed for him.
"Please, come for me." He whispered, still continuing to thrust his fingers inside me, and I felt closer every time. "Be a good girl and come for me."
I had complied, and I did just that. And when I released on him he moaned out in pleasure as I had whined out every orgasm on his fingers and I had cried every part of it that came out of me. And after, Christopher had brought his lips to mine, and we kissed in the slowest in sync.
Christopher had reached and pulled out a condom and he ripped it open with his teeth, and then he had placed on himself. And then very slowly he had eased himself into me. And I moaned loudly, trying my best not to scream in pleasure, but I moaned, feeling him so big inside me. And I was very much accepting him as big he was.
"Fuck," I sighed out, and he brought his lips to my neck, and he just breathed me in, and he continued to thrust inside me slow, just how he likes it.
"Your so tight, baby." He breathed into my neck.
With the feeling of him inside me, I embraced it, just as he continued to thrust deep, long and hard. And I allowed him to continue to move his thrusts in and out of me. I was completely focused, and I watched him move in and out of me over and over again. I did nothing but wrap my arm around his neck, holding him close, and then he had took my leg and I placed it over his shoulder as he had better access.
I moaned while he thrusted deep inside me. Sweat misted over our bodies. And all I could think about was how hard it was to quit having him. And he brought his hand to my cheek cupping my face and he kissed me like he was in heaven.
The world around me started to fade away. I thought of absolutely nothing but what was rocking me, and everything I had in me was absolutely divine, and he brought me to exist and I was impatient but I couldn't help but wonder what was exactly happening especially when it came to this love making.
He picked up his speed, and he started moving into me faster, and he pressed his forehead to mine, and all I wanted was to have him, and he just started moving in and out, and he still had all the power over me. And all I did was moan leaning my head back, and almost as fast I felt my breath became one with his.
"Yes," I whimpered. "Make love to me."
And so he did.
And it didn't take us both to make love in the back of the car, and I didn't care how loud I screamed from how good his member felt inside me and I just kept taking it long and hard. I had wrapped my legs around his waist, and he continued to pound himself into me. And I had just looked at him, my eyes looking directly into his intense eyes full of lust. And I knew now that I liked being like this for him.
I had done exactly nothing but just try my best to not lose control while he was pushing me way past my limits. And I surely didn't care how long this would actually take, but I did exactly what I did best; loving him like this.
But the more he thrusted, the faster he thrusted, the closer I was. And all I wanted to do was just release for him. And I didn't do anything other except allowing my body to take it. And I nodded to let him know and we were both going to climax together and that I was looking for so gratefully.
My legs shook uncontrollably and he had released, and we both moaned together loud and he had collapsed on top of me. And I felt fine, relaxed but very exhausted now. Once we were lying skin to skin, and we had nothing but out of breath. And I pleaded and hoped that I could open my eyes about this, and I stared, looking directly at Christopher and once he could breathe normal again, he looked right into my eyes.
After the course was finished, we sat in the front seats of the car, just sitting in the car in the worst silence. And I couldn't stop thinking about what was truly on my mind. Right now I was actually thinking about how he mentioned Moon asked to sleep with him. And I actually found it interesting but so upsetting. But I know Christopher isn't to blame, because I know he wouldn't cheat on me, he isn't prone to go back to his old ways.
He could've went and had sex with Moon if he wanted to. But he didn't because he knew the consequences and also that's what my dad put my mom through constantly. And Christopher turned faithful the moment he realized how in love he was with me. I know Christopher's heart more than anyone. And I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me. He's not Noah, he's not my dad. He's not someone who will want to hurt me everyday of my life. And finally, I'm actually fine to have Christopher as the perfect boyfriend, my protector, but also my partner in crime because he is my person.
"So I don't remember if I ever told you this, but my dad wants to spend time with me after we return from the cabin. If that's alright?" I said to Christopher, as soon as I was breaking the horrible silence around us.
"Are you asking me for permission to spend time with your dad?" He chuckled, laughing it off so well, I was awfully quiet but to my knowledge it sounded like I was asking permission.
"Y-yeah, I guess I am." I admitted shamefully.
"Well, you should spend time with him. And I have no complaints with you and your dad spending time together. And also, I might go and spend time with the guys or study." Christopher said, and I had thought real deep and hard when he mentioned the guys.
My smile faded off my face gently.
"Christopher, I want you to know that Matt is just my friend. In fact he's like my best friend. You have nothing to worry about, okay? You don't need to be jealous. I think you and him would make good friends." I told him, and he obviously looked at me like he was obviously in denial, and yes, I know he was obviously jealous.
"Me? Jealous? I wasn't." He shook his head.
I giggled. "Okay. Deny all you want. But you were very jealous. Which I liked by the way. Just like you have tricked me into going to this cabin with you, Lara Jean and Ty."
Christopher froze and played the dumb card. He obviously pretended to not have any idea what I was talking about. But I had studied Christopher so well. There's no other reason why he needs me there. He says it's because he will feel like a third wheel. But I feel like this is a trap. Or something is going to happen which is why I'm going to keep my eye open at all time.
"What are you talking about? I didn't trick you." He shrugged it off so easy.
I faked a sigh. "Yes, you did. You made me feel guilty. You manipulated me. Which I'm fine with, babe."
He knew I was now officially very intelligent. And he would know for sure that I was fine with accepting this dreadful fate. And that is definitely what was happening here. And it just took me a while to process the idea of being trapped in a cabin with Lara Jean. We will obviously disconnect from the outside world. Which I'm totally down for. But my issue is Lara Jean. The girl who says I'm not good for Christopher.
But I refuse to be not liked. I will say I deserved half of what she said. But most of what she said was not true at all. But I get why. It's because I hurt Christopher in the past. And I regret that. And I'm feeling guilty for it. And I probably will for the rest of my life. But all I think about is how Lara Jean will possibly hate me. And maybe judge every part of me while I'm around. And I want to be able to see her the same way Christopher sees her. And all I want is to be able to like Lara Jean but I can't when I'm told I'm not good enough for Christopher. And when I think about it, if I was to hurt Christopher in any way wouldn't I have done it already.
Can I just be honest? How is Lara Jean his best friend at all? No. Ty is his best friend. Aaron and Logan are his best friends. Not Lara Jean. It seems like she's in control of who he's with. I wouldn't be surprised if Lara Jean has multiple girls for him to date. And so far, I'm making this all about me, but she plays me out as the villain. Like I'm wrong him. Hello, I've never cheated once. I never cheated, except on Noah with Christopher when we were in New York. I didn't end the relationship with Noah. I just ran away as fast as I could even after he chased after me in my car. But I left because I found him cheating on me with his ex fiancée, Kate. So I left and I went away to New York with Christopher and feelings broke lose, and we connected and it was clear we were both very much still in love with each other. That's something Lara Jean doesn't know about me. That I chose Christopher in the end. I chose him because I knew even then that Christopher was twice the man Noah would ever be.
Maybe Lara Jean blames me for dating Noah and because of me Noah merely killed Christopher. And burned down his apartment. So I'm guessing that's why she hates me. But if I didn't love him, would I have stepped in front of him to get shot? Because I don't care if I have to go to this stupid cabin out in the woods just to be there with Christopher so he's not a fucking third wheel.
No matter what... I'll do it because I love him.
"Maybe I should trick you more often." Christopher laughed out.
"Anytime." I nodded.
And we didn't waste time just sitting in the car, instead we took the car out of the stupid parking place we were in. And then Christopher went directly back on the freeway and we got off the exit that was exit twenty-nine and we got to the airport that Peach and Liam would be waiting for us.
After we parked the car, I had to breathe and realize that I am about to say goodbye to Peach and Liam. The both of them leaving is obviously sad than ever. Seeing them leave together is the happily ever after part for them. And maybe I'll actually miss them. Or not. Maybe I'll be too fixed up on my own life to even care at all. But I hope I'll get postcards, emails, letters, texts or some FaceTime chats. And I'll even invite them here when I get married. If I ever get married. And I know my dad already has a plan for me when I get married, he might even plan the whole thing. And I'm absolutely okay with my dad being the only person.
I think the one thing that terrifies me is how Mrs. Golightly, Peach's mom had slept with my dad. But I only question if Peach even knows. Does she know? And I know there are some things I do wanna talk to Peach about before she leaves for her flight. And then she'll be off in England, living the life she always wanted. Out of her parents rich lifestyle. She never wanted it. When we were younger, she said she wished she had parents who loved her. But I always thought they did. But they didn't. Her mom controlled every little thing that she did all her life until now. Her mother controlled what she ate, how she dressed, what she said, the way she did her hair, her makeup or how she walked. Everything was judged by her.
I looked at the airport doors. So Christopher and I got out of the car and we had gone inside the airport. And I had tried breathing and when I did, Christopher took my hand and we walked in. Christopher put on his black sunglasses because the lights were giving him a headache. So we walked in, owning the place. Announcements were going off. And the flight boards were lit up. And people waiting for their flights to take off. And sitting at the waiting area in the airport was Liam and Peach.
Peach had her blonde hair tied up in a bun and she was wearing a fluffy white fancy coat and she had floral white jeans on. And she looked less tired, and Liam looked perfect as well. He was wearing a yellow hoodie and khakis and his hair looked curly on top due to his hair getting longer it looks. He looks like a Florida boy.
"Hey!" I yelled, waving to them, and I ran over to them and they had gotten up, running over to meet with us.
I embraced into Liam's arms immediately just so ready to see them off. And it took time for me to realize how exciting it is. And then of course, Peach and Christopher couldn't even hug each other because they were so awkward. I guess they both feel poisonous towards each other like if they touch each other they'll release some sort of toxin.
Liam and I pulled out of the embrace. And of course, Christopher and Liam went into a bro-hug and they were just fine. I turned my full attention to Peach so this was not so awkward.
"P, you look great. But I just can't believe that your leaving. I'm shocked still." I said to Peach, and she turned her attention away from Liam and Christopher and looked at me.
"Yeah, I'm finally free. I can get out of here. I'm just so shocked Liam has forgiven me after all the bad things I did, and he's leaving with me." Peach replied, a huge smile on her face.
I heard an announcement flight name being called, and I froze hoping it wasn't Peach's flight.
"So what are you and Liam? Dating or friends?" I asked casually.
"Well, I will only tell you this... but we had sex. All night. He took me to his apartment and we just kept going at it from like midnight to four this morning." She explained to me, and I obviously understood that she and Liam do make the perfect couple from my eyes.
I looked over seeing Liam and Christopher chatting up about something that I wasn't focusing on too much. I let them talk. And Peach and I just payed attention to ourselves. They were ten feet away from us. And we just made it perfectly our time to actually talk. And so Peach brought us to where the food area was and we got cheeseburgers and French fries.
Peach sat biting so hungrily into her burger and she literally moaned out, and by the looks of it it's as if it is her first time.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I had a burger?" Peach sighed, and then she slipped her straw to her root beer float.
"No, I actually don't. Why?" I replied.
She took another bite into her burger. "I'm bulimic. Or I was. I was told all my life I couldn't be fat. I couldn't have curves. I couldn't weigh more than 150 pounds. My mom forced me to eat vegan. And now I'm finally free, Emma. I don't have to worry about the salads I eat or the stupid vegetable soups. I can eat whatever I want. The second our flight lands, I'm getting room service and I'm gonna eat whatever I'm allowed to. I'm not in Bogue anymore. The abuse is gone."
I had just learned so much from Peach right now. And I only thought about what was happening to Peach for a while. Maybe we were both so selfish and at war over a boy that we didn't see how good our friendship always was until now. It was always there. And it's still right here.
I guess there is just so much I don't know about Peach, since high school, since I got out of that mental hospital. I didn't know Peach anymore. But maybe we needed that time, and we fought, hated each other. There was nothing but this competition between us. And finally, I have the one in particular thing is that Peach was once the villain but then she turned from villain to victim to survivor. And I guess I love that she is getting away from the horrible people in her life. Well mainly one, her mother, Andrea.
"Peach, did you make yourself throw up?" I asked, feeling that I sounded unfair.
"I didn't really have a choice. My mom sort of taught me. So in school after lunch everyday, I'd run into the bathroom and I'd vomit everything out of my system." Peach said.
I remember all those times when Peach would run into the bathroom after lunch and between gym class just to go into the bathroom. But I had no idea it was because she went in there to force herself to vomit so she'd stay skinny. All for Andrea. I noticed everything Peach did was for Andrea but not for herself because she couldn't. And it bothers me every time I think about it.
"I'm sorry, Peach. I wish you would've told me." I said, feeling so terrible.
"Don't apologize. You weren't the one who was forcing me to do that. My mom she's the wicked witch in my story. And I'm Dorothy." She said.
She made me not take any responsibility.
I had ate my burger but barely due to losing my appetite. We eyed Christopher and Ty across the way and they were literally across the way with their ice coffee and just talking. And I can finally say we both have forgiven the people who were important to us. I forgave Peach, and Christopher forgave Liam and Liam forgave Peach. We all have the things we all want most; acceptance.
I look at Peach and I see her just sip from her straw but carefully.
"So... you and Liam. That's so great. Was he... good at all?" I said, making it sound like I was her best supporter in the world.
"Yeah, he was actually really good at it." She responded with, and she blushed as everything was written all over her face. "And it's funny but at midnight when we got to his place, and we started drinking and then I started crying after you know, everything. And then the next thing we're just doing it. And it felt hours. And I like remembering it like that."
I actually could only see pure happiness.
"So what are you guys? Dating? Or just hooking up? What is it?" I asked.
"Emma, Liam wouldn't be moving with me to London if we weren't in a relationship." She replied, and she had taken a bite into her burger, obviously enjoying it as if she has had the best burger in the world after all she only ate vegan food until now.
"So your not gonna try to steal Christopher, right?" I sarcastically said, laughing.
"You won't have to worry about that. I'll be faraway in England." She said.
I pictured what Peach's life in England and it would be perfect and far away from what I'm going through right now. And I have no complaints about her anymore, even if there was something I would be selfless and put it aside.
All that was in my head was the conversation I overheard on Christmas between Christopher and Mandy. When I heard that my dad had slept with Andrea Golightly. It is annoying to know that he had so many affairs, different women he slept with while he was a married man. And it just infuriates me how my mother put up with his bullshit. And then, my dad apparently left my mom and married Colleen so quickly as if it was easy to replace her. And so Colleen is a home wrecker and then my dad gave Colleen a taste of her own medicine by sleeping with my mom all over again. And I try my best not to picture that in my mind. But my dad had slept with a lot of different women. Including my babysitter I had when I was a toddler. I think her name was Trisha. And she was blonde and college aged.
But now I sort of wonder if Peach even knows if our parents even had an affair.
"Hey Peach, did you know your mom and my dad had an affair when we were younger?" I brought up, hoping it didn't sound rushed on how I said it, but she showed no annoyance.
There was a relief look on her face like she was hoping I would have brought it up. She exhaled and released a small laugh.
"So you know," Peach sighed. "Oh thank god. I'm glad I'm not the only one."
How on earth did she find out?
"Wait, you knew?" I gasped, completely shook.
"I heard my parents fighting about it when I was younger. I was eleven. And I recall my dad calling her out on it, saying she was settling a bad example on it. And then, I remember my dad literally threw my mom out of the house. It was night. And it was pouring rain. And he just left her out there crying. And she was gone for five days. And she came back. So yes, I did know. I just pretended I didn't know." Peach explained, and I just thought about the events so well, and I hate the thought that my dad and Andrea slept together as if it was easy to cheat.
Peach just went into a fit of laughter. "My mom is the biggest whore around."
She still laughed, confusing me because I couldn't imagine Peach calling her mother out like that.
"I mean, she even tried sleeping with Christopher." Peach admitted, and then I was thrown off.
"What?" I giggled in disbelief.
"The night we broke up. My mom tried sleeping with Christopher. I was outside the room and I overheard the conversation. But he was smart as he is and he told her no, even though she didn't wish to be rejected. And then after that Christopher and Liam both went out to a fight about the Polaroids. Liam told him everything and then Christopher found out I cheated on him. And I regret that. If I didn't sleep with Josh then none of this stuff would've happened to me with Bogue." Peach said.
I was shook hearing her go on about it.
"Emma, I really am sorry about all the fights, the jealousy, the fake love as your friend and for manipulating you and Christopher and for what I did at Ty's wedding. Because everything I said was a lie. He didn't kiss me. I tried turning you against him, which I obviously failed at. And it showed me how much you truly love him because you didn't believe me. And so I knew then as I do now you do love him. And I know in his gray eyes he loves you too, Emma." She said, and she looked over at Liam and Christopher who were looking at a phone probably scrolling through TikTok or looking at photos.
"I know," I nodded.
"No, I mean he really really loves you. If he even marries you I won't be surprised." She smiled, and turned her focus on me, and she looked at me. "Christopher is this kind, genuine, loving and caring person. Don't lose him, ever. And if he messes it up, you call me and I swear I will call and cuss him out."
I never seen this part of Peach. But she was actually letting her emotions out, the second she cried a tear from her eyes.
"Really?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes, I will destroy him if he ruins this. Because you both have something really special. And by the way, watch out for that Moon friend of yours. I heard she has a record of stealing boyfriends." Peach said.
I froze, remembering that Christopher told me that Moon was asking for him to cheat on me with her. She wanted him to hookup with her. And the funny part is... he turned her down. Why? Because he loves me.
But what I'm not sure is how Peach knows Moon?
"You know Moon?" I frowned, my voice very confused.
"Not personally. She's from Boston, Massachusetts. And my dad had a business trip out there. And he knows the Parks. And I heard that she had a best friend in her senior year of high school and she dated her friend's boyfriend. Her friend's name was Izzie Rogers. And his name was Julian Feathers. And she sort of just seduced him at Izzie's high school graduation party and Izzie literally had a mental breakdown and she cut herself from it. So she killed herself. But according to sources, Izzie's fingerprints were not found on the knife that cut her wrists. And Julian, he died a month later. He blew his head off. But there have been speculations that Moon murdered them. And after their deaths, her family and her just move out of Boston and come to California. How strange is that? And worse, her dad had hired an attorney around the time the deaths happened and then he ended up dying from surgery complications. I mean, that's just fucking weird, Emma. You could be best friends with the Devil. And you don't even know it." Peach laughed so hysterically that she had taken a long sip into her straw.
I actually couldn't figure it out but I got the chills hearing all of this. And I felt paralyzed. Julian and Izzie died. They were in love. But Moon stole Julian. She seduces him. Izzie allegedly killed herself by cutting her wrists and Julian died by shooting himself in the head. And only a month apart. Yeah, that is crazy. But it doesn't mean Moon is murderer, right?
Peach looked at me. "Hey I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just saying be careful around her. Because she has a bad past from Boston."
Darkness follows Moon.
"Peach, Moon asked Christopher to hookup with her." I blurted out to her, and Peach choked, and she actually had to take a minute to process it.
"What the fuck? Seriously?" Peach looked pissed. "When?"
"Earlier today. Christopher was honest with me. But he said he turned her down because he is in love with me. And he doesn't trust Moon. And thinks she's shady." I said.
"Hell yeah Moon is shady. She is trouble. And if I were you, I'd cut Moon off. Like pronto. Don't waste time. Like seriously. Or else you and Christopher might be Izzie and Julian 2.0." Peach said.
I scoffed. "Moon is not a murderer, P."
"Her best friend and her boyfriend who she stole by the way both died only a month apart by apparent suicides and she's not a killer? And moves to Los Angeles. You don't find that strange?" Peach explained the whole scenario through her point of view and I could only laugh.
"Moon is a lot of things. But a murderer. It's just too far fetched. No evidence. Okay? We can just rule it out. It's not like she's my uncle Ted." I said, and then I paused realizing I said Ted's name out loud putting his name in the uncle category which I shouldn't have. And Peach looked at me like I swore or something and she misunderstood with the whole uncle Ted name thing.
"Who is Uncle Ted?" Peach slurped from her straw.
I wasn't sure on how to tell her. And it wasn't like I could just come out and spill it all at her about my dad allegedly having a secret twin. And I still I don't have the evidence to prove it to her. And I know Peach has it all in her head as if she has no idea no idea what is going on because confusion just stuck on her face like it was glued onto her face.
All I had was to try to find it in the right words to say it to her. And it didn't matter how many fries Peach kept eating. And it's some way for her to herself filled from how much her hunger thrives through. And so I needed to find the right way to say it her without her thinking how crazy I am.
"Okay this is gonna sound crazy," I started to say, absolutely telling her the truth, and she looked prepared for whatever was to come out of my mouth. "Last night Josh told me that my dad's brother is behind the sex ring. And he is just the associate. And Peach,"
I stopped and hesitated, and Peach remained quiet, obviously trying to figure it all.
"He looked like he actually wasn't lying. And then Mandy is in the hospital she overdosed on heroin. But I know Mandy. I know that she didn't overdose on purpose. And she said my dad was in her house. And there's no way my dad is involved in illegal drugs and prostitution. And Josh said that his name is Ted James and that he is psychotic and a murderer. And he said that he was put up for adoption. I mean, my grandparents have always been secretive and always been so strange. Like very mysterious. So... if my dad has a secret twin out there, I won't be surprised." I said, telling her everything that I could think of, and Peach just looked at me like I was in this situation of maybe fear and curiosity which is true. "And I think if my dad has a twin, I think he broke into Mandy's house and drugged her. Because in the hospital, she was so scared. And it's okay if you think I'm crazy, Peach. You don't have to believe me. I just need you to hear me."
Peach grabbed my hand, but slowly. "Hey, I believe you. It's not crazy at all."
I sighed a relief, and I couldn't believe that she was believing me. My own mom didn't and neither did Christopher. Maybe if I can get to Peach then maybe I can get through to Colleen. I mean, after all, Colleen is married to my dad. And she's my stepmom. She's prone to actually listen to me. And maybe there's so much that I'm not getting. And I'm just stuck, trying to figure out what if any of this is true. But lastly, I do know this; going to the cabin today, and for tomorrow, I will not worry about this. And I'll do everything in my power not to get into a fight with Lara Jean. I mean she's hormonal and pregnant. So I'll actually cut her some slack for once.
"Christopher doesn't believe it. He thinks that Josh is a manipulating liar. Which is true by the way." I said, pointing it out to her.
"Yes, it is true. I spent a whole year letting him and other men use my body. And I think I know him. He's a manipulating liar. But Mandy's statement and Josh's statements both add up. Put two and two together, Em." She said.
I know now that she mentions it, I'm not fucking wrong. And now I know there is one person besides my mom or my dad that I can bring this up to. It needs to be my grandparents or Colleen. Because someone is either lying or this is all a coincidence or just a misunderstanding.
"Well I figured you would say that." I chuckled.
"Well of course. I feel like I can read you so well even after it's been a while since we talked as friends." Peach replied.
I sort of remained silent for a bit. And I just tried figuring a few things out, like about my dad. But right now I know it's not too important all because of everything to do with me and Christopher going away for like two days out in a wooden area which feels like it's in the middle of nowhere. But then the thought of Lara Jean came to my mind.
"Peach, do you think I'm selfish? Or maybe do you think Christopher deserves someone better than me?" I asked her, because I'm feeling so convinced after everything Lara Jean said to me at the wedding.
Peach stopped, looking at me. And she was mockingly laughing.
"No, you both were made for each other, Emma. What's this about?" She said.
I sighed to myself.
"At the wedding, Lara Jean told me that I'm not good for him, and I'm a narcissist and toxic and that he deserves someone better than me." I explained to her.
Peach gasped out. "Oh that bitch."
I actually couldn't believe I heard her say that. Peach was always the girl who would turn savage. And if Mandy was in her right mind making decisions then she would be calling Lara Jean up and cussing her out. I'm sure Victoria feels that way. But tries to stay out of drama. Which I'm glad, because I wouldn't want Victoria to be forced to do anything or say anything she doesn't want to. I just need my friends to listen. And Victoria is a good listener. And that's just enough.
"It isn't true, Em." Peach took a long sip from her drink.
"Yeah, I know. It's what Christopher and Victoria said. But somehow, Lara Jean hates me." I said.
"I think she's jealous." Peach put her opinion on it.
"Jealous of what?" I choked out, quite surprised.
"I don't know, maybe because before it was just Lara Jean and Christopher. He could depend on her, you know being friends. And she felt like he was broken from you so she thought she could fix him. But you and Christopher get back together, and immediately she is threatened because she knows now he doesn't need her anymore. So she's jealous she can't be the friend to actually fix him because now he has you." Peach explained, and I agape, not sure how that made sense until right now.
I thought about it for quite the longest time. And all I think about is how Lara Jean has done so much in the last two weeks to my relationship with Christopher. I feel like she is actually coming in between our relationship. And we were doing so good for four months until the wedding happened that night. She just fucking had to say all of that, and clearly she didn't care about Christopher because if she cared or loved him as the best friend she is to him, she wouldn't have said that to me. If anyone is toxic, she is a toxic friend. And she doesn't care about his happiness or my feelings or else she wouldn't have said it.
"Well maybe Lara Jean is just hormonal because she's pregnant." I decided to add, interrupting the dreadful silence.
"Umm... no that is no excuse. I don't care if she was on drugs, drunk or even pregnant. What she said is something no one should say. Don't feel bad for her. It's time you stop being so stubborn and letting others walk all over you. You need to turn the tables. And say 'you know what, not everything is okay.' Because it's not. Sometimes we need to stick up for ourselves and say it like it is. Be blunt for once." Peach said.
I actually could argue this one out. It's just so hard to not be annoyed, but I knew Peach wasn't wrong. She was right. I need to stop taking the easy way out. Because I let these assholes get away with things that I shouldn't. And no, I'm not gonna play nice.
"Okay, your right. I need to put my foot down." I nodded.
Peach and I embraced and I felt like this was the perfect reaffirmation of our friendship. And of course, we had finished our food. But I ended up giving it to Peach because I had no appetite and Peach had a large appetite still being hungry. And then they announced Peach's flight now ready to board. And so Peach and Liam literally walked side by side. And Christopher I hugged them turning this into a real goodbye. And I actually was shocked still that Peach and Liam were going. They were leaving for good it seems. And Christopher has already accepted it all, while I was just shook completely.
"Well we're leaving. But this isn't the end." Liam said, holding onto Peach's hand, and I thought what a great couple they make.
"Yeah, invite us to your wedding. And we'll be right there." Peach said, looking amused by the idea.
"Woah, don't rush it." Christopher chuckled. "That discussion hasn't even happened yet. But if so... we'll reach out."
"Oh yeah, definitely." I nodded quickly.
The announcement kept repeating itself. And just as the terminal opened, and I just saw Peach hesitate. As if this was a huge step, and sort of worrying her. As she held onto her purse closely and she was trying everything in her power not to be worried.
Liam grabbed onto Peach's hand, holding her closely as if it has been the first.
"It's going to be okay," Liam pulled her in.
And they both didn't waste a second, and I watched them both just gaze at each other, facing each other slowly. And then I watched them both go right in for a kiss. And they suddenly went in for the most intense make out session in front of both Christopher and me. And I just stared, looking at them. But I pictured it in my head of them kissing in slow motion. And it reminded me of something very dramatic. And something from like an old classic film like Gone With the Wind.
And now Christopher and me had just felt awkward now. And we just decided not to stare, and we turned our attention away. And while I was going through to the idea in my head how happy they will be. And once they pulled away from the kiss, they both quickly snapped back to reality remembering what was happening right in front of me.
I had known only one thing, I was feeling like I should cry. And very little without anyone noticing, I did. And they had just held hands.
"Well I'm going to miss you, P." I said. "You too, Liam."
"Yeah, we're gonna miss you both a lot. But, please send us postcards or emails. Photos. Because we have all the time in the world to get something from you both." Christopher said.
"We won't forget you guys. Or who knows, maybe you guys can come to London to visit us during New Years or something. Or for Liam's birthday in March." Peach replied with, saying.
"Yes, that would be great." I blinked, nodding.
And then we had hugged them both separately at times. And when Christopher went in to hug Peach, she looked shocked. And then the next thing, she and Liam had held hands, and they went directly into the terminal just watching them.
"Bye," I waved to them, as I watched them walk away.
Christopher had grabbed my hand. And I had leaned right into him that turned into an embrace. And while embracing, Christopher had gently placed a kiss on my forehead. And now I had just realized that our friends were gone now. And with that, we both forgave the people who did us wrong. And I think it does us great. It makes us feel completely comfortable and understanding where we come from. And I was definitely unaware of how this turned from my trapped life of all the bad. I should feel relieved that the Polaroid masterminds are gone. But I'm not.
I'm very sad in a way that I actually can't explain. And all I wanted to do was cry. And I think Christopher could tell. And so it just took me some time to process with realization that they are out. And Peach is free from her mother's madness. And I took everything Peach said and realized everything we talked about was actually true. And no matter what, it was actually going well. I was to take the advice, but I know the one thing important she said is how Lara Jean is jealous of me. And now it's all coming clear to me that it is actually true. But I just never saw it.
And I need to realize Lara Jean is my problem right now. And I hate how true it is. And now seeing it so well, that it means that Lara Jean is jealous of me because she thinks Christopher is trying to fix me from everything I'm broken from. So she's trying to make me not be his problem anymore. And she is trying to get between our relationship. But guess what... I'm not taking the bait.
~•~
We arrived at Ty and Lara Jean's house. And we had our luggages with us. We packed everything up. We arrived at three on the dot. And when we arrived, I just stared at the beautiful house, but it was nothing like ours. We had gotten out of the car. And we got out to collect both of our luggages and right away, I just had no idea what was to happen. And before we even got to the front door, Ty had came out of the house, leaving the door open. And he had ran right into Christopher and they hugged, acting like it's been years since they've seen each other.
"Chris!" Ty exclaimed, and he looked overly excited.
Ty reminds me of a golden retriever. Like he just acts so sunny and happy. But he is somehow in the best mood, as always. He looked like he was so happy. I mean, he's always happy. But not like this. Did he get laid in Alaska like nonstop on his honeymoon? Well duh, of course he did. On your honeymoon that's all they do.
"Wow you both look great." He said to us.
"Well, you look just as good. Was Alaska cold enough? And how was the train ride? I have so many questions." Christopher said, carrying his yellow duffel bag on his shoulder.
I decided to stay quiet in case I might say something dumb. And I know this is all a trap.
"Alaska was actually cold. But good heat on in the suite. And also, the train ride was exhausting." Ty replied to him, and then he sort of turned his attention to me. "Hey Emma, you look very nice."
"Thank you." I nodded. "So do you."
"Everyone keeps telling me that." Ty said.
Christopher then huffed. "Where's Lara Jean?"
I rolled my eyes at the mention of her name.
"She's upstairs. Probably about to get up from a nap she took. She was exhausted the whole ride home. And she was cranky when we got back. So she should be waking up any minute now." Ty said. "Well come on in."
I had looked at Ty and Christopher as these perfect friends that I truly adore. And then once we got inside, I sighed letting the door close.
A/N:
I'm sorry this is all the energy
I have time for. But if you
liked this then vote, and comment
your thoughts. Because I love
your opinions in spite of my
anxiety that I get whenever
someone comments lol 😂
But anyways... I hope you guys
enjoyed this. I love you miners
and if you want more Chrismma
content please go follow me on
my new TikTok account called Aesthetic_Books_25. It is dedicated to Mine. So go check it out.
And who is excited for Lara Jean's entrance? Cos a lot is gonna go down. lmao 🤣
And farewell Peach and Liam 💔 😭
#treatpeoplewithkindness
#loveyourself
#staybeautiful
#alwaysandforever
Btw please stay kind and positive
in the comments down below.
No negativity is welcome here
on my story. If you are disrespectful
or cruel to anyone in the comments
towards me, the story or anyone
in the comments then I will
report and block you. Thank u bye.