Chapter Forty Two: The "I Love You" Thing.
Notice: TWO THOUSAND READS, YEAHHHH!!! And while I'm still not even done yet? Wow! First time that's happened to me. Hope you enjoyyyy.
Come on, Violet, say something!
"Oh..." I said and I pushed myself off the grass to a sitting position, facing away from him.
Something smart, idiot!
Oh...this was going to end badly, all the perfect moments of tonight were going to lead to this if I didn't fix it right now!
"Letty?" I heard Angelo say and I could feel the blood draining from my face. What if he thought I hated him?! I just had to say the words right? They were just words...
"Violet." He said again and I turned to look at him.
"I..." My throat felt narrow. "I actually- I um..."
I could barely look at him right now. He looked so beautiful and confused and a bit weary.
"I need a drink." I rushed out, scrambling to my feet.
"A drink."
"A moment." I said, hurrying back to the picnic blanket and the car, pretending I could run from his words. "I need a moment..."
Why did this just have to happen?! Why did he have to open his mouth and say the words I wanted to hear when I wasn't ready for them?
I grabbed a bottle of water from the blanket, feeling a bit panicked, my head nothing but frantic thoughts.
"Oh." I sighed heavily once I took a huge, very needed gulp of water and almost immediately, my mind acknowledged what I'd just done.
Spinning around, I spotted Angelo in the distance still sitting in the grass, staring ahead, just after he had poured out his heart, expressing his love for me.
"I'm such a-" I cut myself off, before trudging back to him, slowing down to cautious steps when I got closer.
He looked up at me as I approached and I couldn't help the little gasp I made, I was almost sure he'd close up after what I'd done, hide away behind a blank face, but his grey eyes stared right into mine and they said everything.
"Angelo, I'm so sorry," I whispered, sitting in the grass right next to him. "I didn't mean to- I'm so sorry..."
He shook his head, looking back at the blinking lights in the distance. "Please don't apologize, it's fine, really."
"Nothing about what I did is fine, you don't deserve that...."
"Hey, it makes for a good story, my friends would have a great laugh at this." He shrugged lightly, running his fingers over his neck to the front of his hair, but even he didn't seem to like his attempt at a joke.
"Do you have something you need to tell me?" He asked, quietly and I could feel my heart drop.
I needed to go through with this with caution, because it defined how the rest of tonight would go, as well as the rest of our relationship, something I didn't want to ruin.
"Angie..." I started, and made to touch him, but I changed my mind and kept my hand to myself. "Angelo I think you're perfect, and you make me feel so special and important, whenever I'm with you I feel safe...but when I'm alone, with my thoughts, I wonder if it's all a ruse, I start to doubt everything."
His eyes went to the grass, his finger absently spinning a ring on his hand around and around and around...
"You don't... trust me?"
"No, not that," I said quickly, I couldn't bare for him to entertain that thought for one more second, "it's me I don't trust, you're not the problem here."
"I'm not?"
"No, my mind's been in such a complex state that I can barely handle it, and I can't even trust my own judgement so I doubt every decision I make, everything I say, everything I'm feeling because I can't tell if it's as a result of an external influence, you know, don't know if my feelings are mine or I was manipulated into feeling like that." I sighed.
"Basically, I'm out of touch with my own emotions and I'm sorry you have to deal with that now. I thought I'd just be able to repeat three simple words to you when it came to it, but you don't deserve that."
Raising my head, I met his eyes once more and they were shining with understanding.
"You deserve someone who isn't confused, someone who's sure of what she wants and can confidently tell you what's in her heart..."
"So, you." He said, watching me.
"Someday."
"I'll wait."
I made a sad chuckle, feeling tears sting my eyes. "But..."
"But nothing, you can't break up with me just after you said yes." He said, holding my chin lightly by his fingers and I could have melted like I'd been starved of contact for days.
"I'm not, I still want to be with you." I said and leaned into the warmth of his hand when he cupped my face. "Is it possible though, for you to not tell me you love me till I'm ready to say it back?"
Angelo hummed lightly, silver eyes shifting between both of mine.
"I'm sure I have a written list of reasons why I can't do that somewhere."
"Angelo..."
"It's torture, Violet, to not confess this feeling that I have for you every hour of every day." He said lowly, taking my cold hands in his, thumbs running over my knuckles.
"I am completely in love with your very being; all the way from your eyes, to your smile, to your heart, to your thoughts where I just want to stay, even to every strand of your hair. It's a new, strange, helpless sensation that honestly scares me."
He lowered his head as he brought my hands to his lips.
"But you're still here," I said softly and took my hands out of his to touch his face.
"Because that's all I want to do, to love you in every way I can, including the words of my mouth," he said, watching me with soft, vulnerable eyes.
His free hand came to rest in the grass next to my hip. What had started as us sitting next to each other had gradually turned into me half sitting across his lap.
"All you have to do is let me, you don't have to love me just as much, don't have to say words you're not sure of, I won't even put you in a situation where you have to."
"How?" I asked, tracing my thumbs over his cheeks, something I could tell he really liked.
A slow smile crept up his lips, "Well, this isn't the first time I'm telling you I love you, just the first time I'm saying it to your hearing." He said and my eyes widened a bit as I took in his words.
Then I felt my face heat up slightly, "You can't be serious."
He shook his head slightly, his eyes following me as I turned to him completely, sitting on my knees in the space between his legs, staring wide eyed at him.
His head tilted at bit and he gave me a tiny smile as he kept going, "It's not the second either, or the third, or the forth..."
I let out a shaky breath as my heartbeat echoed in my ears. It was times like this my mind was clear of any doubts, all I knew right now was him and there was nothing to be afraid of.
"For what it's worth," I whispered, leaning into him, close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body, "I'm glad you've told me your heart, you mean so much to me, Angelo..."
I caught one more glimpse of his beautiful eyes just before our lips met in the softest of kisses. Soft like mild rain on mossy earth, delicate too like butterfly wings, warm... warm like his gentle hand cradling my head and his fingers threading through my hair.
Somewhere along the line as my hands made their way up the path along his back, I realized I must have missed this more than I thought, because I could feel this kiss resonate through my entire body.
"Are you cold?" I heard him whisper against my lips, his strong arm coming around my middle to hold me against him. "Your hands are shaking."
"MmMm," I replied, unable to form words or do anything really besides run my fingers through his golden curls and kiss him more.
I must have heard the tiniest sigh as he cut the kiss short to look at me. "Just checking, darling." He breathed, watching me with those eyes as his big, warm hands found their way under my sweater and over my skin, covering the lower half of my back and it was the most overwhelming act ever.
"You're doing this, not the cold," I croaked out, feeling like jello in his hands, then let out another helpless sigh as his thumb started to trace spirally lines on my skin. "You should really...stop teasing me or I'm going to implode..."
Angelo's laugh was rich as he brought his lips to mine once more and for a while, we couldn't stop smiling... Until his blunt nails suddenly dragged across my skin and I jolted.
"Oh!"
"Shi- I'm so sor..."
For a split second our eyes locked and almost like a flip was switched, the kiss was rid of its gentle softness and we got a bit lost in the sensations of a hard, desperate kiss, the type that left you breathless and wanton and made your heart pound till it felt it was going to leave your ribs...in a good way.
My hand gripped onto his hair and I could feel my face grow impossibly hotter when he let out a small groan. Why did it feel like I could never get enough of him?
His hands boldly explored some more of my skin and the combination of how good that felt with the small nibble he made on my lower lip just before sucking on it was too much for me.
Somehow, he could tell and he pulled his lips away from mine, leaving me with the lingering aftertaste of berries.
"You're sweet." I whispered in his ear, lightly scratching his scalp through his curls and his head fell against my shoulder. "Literally." I added, making him chuckle and snuggle into the curve of my neck where he placed a little kiss.
"You're so soft," he said, repeating the action a bit lower, this time eliciting a small sound from me that I tried to hold back. I could feel him smile against my skin. "And so sensitive..."
"That's why you keep tease-- aah!" I clapped my hand over my mouth to stop further embarrassing sounds from escaping as his teeth grazed against my skin.
"Angie..." I groaned.
He leaned back to look at me, bringing up one of his hands to brush some hair away from my face and he kind of looked as helpless as I felt.
"Do you want to go to the car?"
The car.
I glanced over for a second and back at him. He let go of my waist and leaned back on his hands, waiting for my reply.
Did he have to look so good though? His hair was completely disheveled and his lips were pink and so soft... I could take off his turtleneck sweater in the car...
"Whoa, okay..." I said, covering my eyes. "You're seducing me."
"A little." He laughed and I lowered my hands with a slightly frustrated sigh.
"Well it's working, I'd really really like to, but I think it's better I wait. So much has happened today and..." My words trailed off as he gathered me in his arms once more and brushed a peck on my cheek. "...and..."
"I'm listening," He said lowly, leaving more pecks in a trail down my neck till he got to that one spot where he decided to stay.
I squirmed slightly, "...and I want to process...it all..."
"Hmm," He agreed, cradling my head in his hand as his tongue flicked against my skin, then he sucked and I nearly went into a meltdown.
"Ah, you're not helping...!" I said thickly, placing a hand on his chest and fighting to not give in to him. "You're so unfair..."
"My bad, couldn't resist," he said, leaning back once more but he looked quite happy with himself and smug...and undeniably sexy...
"Ugh stop." I groaned, covering my eyes again. I was so grateful for the cool air.
"I'm not doing anything!" He replied, with more laughter and even that was a huge turn on.
Still with my hands over my face, I got up and walked away from him, towards our picnic blanket which was still laid with a lot of extra food.
"It's almost one." Angelo said, following up behind me as I wondered what to do with all of that.
"Really? We should probably head back." I said and craned my neck back up to look at the starry sky once more with a content sigh. "Can't get enough of this view though."
All the pictures I took couldn't possibly do it justice.
"I can completely understand that." Angelo said, and he held something small and fuzzy out to me.
Gasping, I took it from his hands. "How did you catch a bunny so easily?!" I asked, petting its cute brown fur, it was shaking so badly and trying to escape and it was only as small as my palm.
"Rabbits really like lettuce." He replied simply with a shrug.
After I'd gotten him to take about a hundred photos of me and the little fuzz ball, I let it go and we finally decided to discuss the leftover issue.
"I'm definitely taking the rest of the cake." I informed him, keeping it aside from the others. "Aaannddd, the hot chocolate."
"Deal." He nodded.
"Would your primos like the rest?" I asked.
"You can have it all, it really doesn't matter."
"Oh wait!" I snapped my fingers and pointed at the small brick house a little ways from us. "The nice old man who lives there. Mr. Whats-his-name."
"Ah, he's nice now." Angelo chided lightly.
"Hey, anyone involved in making this date perfect has a little piece of my heart." I said pointedly.
"How little are we talking about?"
"Infinitesimally small, most of it's yours anyway." I said, giving him a wink.
Was it weird that I didn't want to leave? The little gift basket we placed on the porch felt like a tribute to this lovely place and I couldn't help but stare out the window as we drove back downhill, wondering if the stars would follow.
The moment I saw my house, I was ready to go back in time to restart the evening and Angelo could tell by my expression.
"Aw, come on, Letty don't look like that." He said, pulling up in our driveway. "You'll see me on Monday, and I'll text you, a lot."
I chuckled lightly, rubbing under my eyes, "I know, I just... Wait, Monday?" I asked, facing him. "You're not free tomorrow?"
"Not tomorrow or the next." He shook his head, "I've got a lot of work to do with Tio Damien the whole weekend."
I frowned and folded my arms, "Well now I don't want to leave."
"I don't want you to either darling, but I'm trying to get your mother to like me." He said, opening his door.
Before he could walk over to my side, I quickly locked the door from the inside, giggling mischievously at his face through the glass like a mastermind. But he just took out his key and pressed the unlock button.
"You actually thought." He said, opening the door.
"Nooooo...!" I giggled some more, sinking into the seat like that could stop him from grabbing me and hauling me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Eeek! I don't agree with your methods...!" I squealed, nearly eating my hair as it fell all over my face.
"Shh, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood." He chuckled, walking quite effortlessly up the stairs to the porch. "Where are your...?"
I heard the front door swing open.
"...keys." Angelo finished. "Hello Mr. Adams." He said and immediately tried to put me down as quickly and carefully as possible so my butt wasn't literally in Dad's face.
"Hi Dad!" I said, turning to look at him as I straightened up. "You didn't have to wait up, I have my keys..."
"You're late, by two hours plus." Dad said, showing me the time on his phone, and he was literally scowling at me, "It's far past midnight and you didn't answer my calls!"
Angelo stepped forward, "It's my fault, Sir. I-"
"You didn't even know there was a curfew," I said, touching his arm before turning to face Dad. "Sorry I'm late Dad, honestly I didn't even think you meant it literally. Come on, Eleven-thirty? I promise we'll be more time conscious next time."
"I'll make sure of that." Angelo said and Dad totally ignored me and looked at him like he was the one son he never had.
"Thank you for bringing her back safe Angelo, the last time I let her out... Let's just say I put a lot of faith in you, neither of you are even drunk, that's nice too." Dad said, "I'll let Olivia know you're back. Thank you so much."
"Yes he's so amazing," I said dryly before looking up at Angelo, "Isn't it too late to drive all the way back to the hotel? Stay for a bit then you can go when it's bright..."
"Oh no, I have to go." Angelo replied. "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" Dad and I chorused before we exchanged a look that made him sigh and go back into the house.
"I'll be inside."
Angelo just chuckled lightly and let me grab his hands as he walked backwards towards the stairs. "I'm sure, Letty."
"I know, you should get going then if you want to rest before doing... whatever it is you'll be busy with all weekend." I said with a little sigh. "You will tell me about that someday right?"
"Very soon, darling." He said, leaving me at the top of the few steps as he backed down them. "I had the best time tonight."
"Awww my goodness you're really leaving...." I said, stretching out my arms and doing grabby hands as he got to his car. "Noooooo..."
"I think you need sleep more than I do." He laughed. "I'll miss you, you know?"
"I'll call you! Text me when you get home!" I called across the yard.
"I will!" He replied, and paused just before he entered the car. "Oh and I love you, Letty! Bye!"
I didn't even have the time to process that before he got into his car and backed out the driveway.
"B- bye!" I waved quickly, feeling my tummy churn with happiness even as he drove off.
I didn't realize how long I was out there with a goofy smile on my face till Dad's voice from inside snapped me out of it. "Violet get out of the cold! Before you catch an actual sickness."
"Ugh, I could vomit rainbows and unicorn glitter right now." I sighed, going in and shutting the door, not really paying attention as Dad told me about a new detergent he bought that he was sure would be excellent for removing rainbow vomit stains.
A//N: *Falls backward into a chair* FINALLY! This took me so long to write! Romance scenes are harddd. 😭😭😭
I tried to incorporate the song above into the chapter like I'd done with the other chapters, but I felt...nah.
Hope you like the chapter! See you next update (though it might not be soon, I've got school stuff going on).