ATLANTA, GA - 2:32PM
I walked off the elevator exhausted due to the long shifts I've been working. I was ready to go home, but knew I couldn't since I had to visit Lim's grave. I walked out the hospital and into the garage averting my eyes over to the security guard- Ace. I've seen plenty of movies where girls gotten kidnapped and I couldn't risk it. As badly as I hated my life I didn't want to be kidnapped.
❝Hey, Saylor.❞ Ace smiled walking over to me before we both walked over to my car. "Happy Birthday again."
"Thank you and that's not my name." I told him watching as he opened the door for me.
"...right, Milan." He nodded.
I didn't like going by the name Saylor anymore because it represented my past self. I wasn't that person anymore so I went by the name Milan which is my middle name.
"Do something fun, aight? It's your birthday. You deserve it." He told me closing the door. He waited by the car until I pulled off.
Sighing, I thought about what he said. But it didn't feel right doing something fun on the day that Lim and I shared. He wasn't here for us to celebrate it together. It wouldn't feel right, but I guess today I'll do a little something. I mean after all I deserve it. I've been working back to back nonstop and fun was something I needed as of right now.
As I stopped at a red light, I pulled my phone out going to Apple Music and putting on Bryson Tiller- Overtime.
While the music began playing I began thinking about exactly what I was going to do. Right now I was going to the cemetery to spend a good 10 minutes with Lim. After, I was going home, shower, and go back out, but that's where I got stuck at. I didn't know what I was going to do and where I was going to go.
Guess I'll start looking at some places.
The drive to the cemetery didn't take long since I took shortcuts to get there. Once I arrived, I got out the car with the essentials I needed, and made my way over to his grave.
I felt myself get emotional as I put the blanket on the ground and sat down. This was always hard for me, why wouldn't it be?
"Hey, Lim." I finally said after I gotten myself together. "Happy Birthday. I didn't bring a cake this time since I just gotten off work so I can't say let's make a wish. Ugh, I wish you was here right now. I'm already knowing if you was it'd be fun as hell. And if you knew I was going to work on my birthday, you'd kick my ass."
"You already know what I'm about to say. Why did you do what you did? Why couldn't you let them people rob the store in peace? It's been 5 years, it's been so hard without you." I cried moving the hair that was in my face away.
"I miss you so much. The last time I came here was... 5 or 6 months, I don't exactly remember. You probably mad, but I can explain why. I've been very busy lately with work. That's all I do is work but it keeps my mind off you. So, I work long shifts and avoid being at home because I'm alone there. I don't have a problem with being alone but it's the feeling, you know?"
"Lim, I wanna be happy. How much longer am I going to be in this depressed state? Life been hard every since you decided to let your anger get the best of you. For real for real, what was you thinking? They had guns, Lim! Gosh."
"I love you, Lim."
The wind blew and I looked around crying harder than before. I just wish he didn't do what he did. He could have still be here living up to his dream.
"When I die and we get to meet again I'm gone beat your ass. While I'm here I might as well figure out what I'm going to do. Maybe I could go to a party? Or a restaurant, what you think? I think I'm gonna go to a party just have to see who's hosting one."
I went on instagram and began tapping on people's story. I knew someone had to be hosting a party like who wouldn't? It's a Saturday. Just as I was going to give up, I came across one of my old high school friends- Santori's story. She was hosting a party so I texted her saying I was going to be there.
It would be kind of hard to believe that I had a friend. I met Santori back when we both worked at Target. She had trained me on my first day and we were close until we both graduated highschool. Neither of us kept in contact, but there wasn't any bad blood.
"Ouu now I have to find something to wear. Alright I have to go, Lim. Happy Birthday again, I love you." I got up taking the blanket with me.
✘✘✘
❝It's been so long.❞ Tori hugged me rocking us side to side. "Happy Birthday."
"I didn't even think you'd remember it." I shook my head putting on lipgloss as I looked around. The music that was inside could be heard outside and there was a lot of cars too. It was even hard for me to find a parking spot.
"I mean it isn't that hard to remember considering it's on Valentine's Day. We have a lot of catching up to do though. But that can wait tomorrow or the day after. I really missed our friendship, but I texted you one day and you didn't even text back. I'm like 'oops'." She put her hands up in defense.
I furrowed my brows. "When did you text me?"
"It was.. I don't even know it's been so long."
"My number changed so that might be why I didn't text back. Like right after highschool I changed my number."
She nodded, we walked inside the party letting Hellcats & Trackhawks fill our ears. I really needed to get turnt. I needed to enjoy my birthday for once. Even though it's hard because it's a constant reminder that Lim isn't here to celebrate and enjoy it with me.
"I need a drink." I told her. As it was I was already thinking about Lim which I knew would honestly ruin the mood. A drink would definitely help with that.
"We got everything over at my section." She said and we began walking over there. It was a couple people there. "So, what you want? Casamigos? Spirytus?"
"Um, we can do Casamigos for right now."
"You ain't gone introduce us to shawt'?"
"Oh, right. Say-"
"Milan." I told her and she twisted her lips to the side before nodding hesitantly.
"Milan these are my boyfriend frien-"
"Why the fuck we gotta be known as your boyfriend friends?"
"Can you let me talk damn. That's Damien, but we call him Duke. Khalil, Honor, my man Talik, Talia, and Ximena."
I waved before throwing the shot of Casamigos down my throat. I definitely already was a pro at this because at times when I was depressed, I'd drink my life away.
"You so pretty." Ximena stated and I smiled continuing to down the whole bottle down my throat.
I wanted to get drunk, loose, turnt. I mean after all I deserved it right? I deserved a break from all the breakdowns, right? And I worked a lot, I was always on my feet working long shifts so I did deserve this right?
I sat down between Duke and Honor since that was the only seat available. They were honestly making me uncomfortable at the way they were staring at me. But I guess they couldn't help themselves.
Home Body by Lil Durk began to play.
"Baby when I smash you, put your back in it. Get that first nut, then I'm back in it. Can you go deep? you keep asking it." I sung scrolling on Instagram.
Tori had left somewhere which left me with everyone else.
"Don't take a whole perc, she want half of it. Drug sex, drug sex, yeah yeah. Rich sex, rich sex, yeah yeah. I know you nasty. She be touchin' on her own body."
"Yo, how you know Tori?" Duke asked trying to make conversation. He was fine, all of them were, but I wasn't looking to talk or just date anyone right now.
"We went to the same highschool together, but we lost touched after we graduated." I told him turning around to see he was biting on his lips.
ole lightskin ass.
"How long y'all knew her?"
"Shit, Tori? We known her since elementary school."
I nodded.
"How old you is?"
"I just turned 21 today."
"Oh, shit. Happy Birthday." He said along with everyone else and I said thank you. "Shit, no wonder why yo' ass downing a whole Casamigos bottle."
only if they knew the real reason.
"You a youngin."
"And how old are y'all?"
"All of us, 23. Talia? That's Talik sister and she 22. Ximena 24."
I looked over at Talia who was giving me a stank face and I gave her one right back, hell.
"I'll be back." I stood up.
"GYATTTT!"
Ximena began laughing walking alongside. "Talia was looking at you like that 'cause her and Duke 'got something going on'."
"But what that gotta do with me?" I made a face. "Ion like Duke, shit he the one that started conversations with me. If I was informed they had something going on then I wouldn't have talked to him. And it's not like he was asking me anything inappropriate or anything."
"I mean, yeah, but that's just how she is." Ximena shrugged. "She don't like when females talk to her man."
"Well she need to have a problem with her man for talking to me. Girls be mad at the wrong people. Where Tori?"
"Tori popular as hell, this girl literally knows everybody, but you know she had to attend to her other guest."
"Ou, holon this my song!"
"I said certified freak, seven days a week. Wet ass pussy, make that pullout game weak, woo!" Ximena and I rapped.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy
"Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge. Extra large, and extra hard put this pussy right in yo' face. Swipe your nose like a credit card!"
"Hop on top, I want a ride I do a kegel while it's inside. Spit in my mouth, look at my eyes!"
"This pussy is wet, come take a dive. Tie me up like I'm surprised. Let's role-play, I wear a disguise I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage!"
"Hold on, hold on!" The DJ stopped the music. "Santori told me we gotta birthday girl inna building! If it's ya' birthday let me hea' some!"
Ximena and I began screaming which was good because I didn't wanna be the only one screaming. With that, a light began shining on us as he played Birthday Bitch.
One time for the birthday bitch
Two times for the birthday bitch
Three times for the birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
"You a bad bitch and it's your birthday. G'on ahead fuck it up in the worst way if you a bad bitch and it's your birthday. G'on ahead, fuck it up in the worst way, c'mon!" Ximena yelled.
One time for the birthday bitch
Two times for the birthday bitch
Three times for the birthday bitch
Fuck it up if it's your birthday bitch
I began twerking as Ximena hyped me up recording as well.
"Ya!" She stood behind me as I twerked on her. Yeah I definitely fucked with her.
✘✘✘
❝I'm s-so tired like r-really t-tired.❞ I said, my words slurring. Let's just say Tori, Ximena, and I got really turnt. The party was over and it was really us along with the boys. I was moreso focused on how I was going to get home knowing I couldn't drive myself home.
I could barely stand. I was dizzy as hell.
"You? Me. And I got work tomorrow." Ximena frowned crying and I started laughing.
"Why are you crying?"
"Xi always crying when she drunk." Tori told me and I nodded closing my eyes. "Oh my gosh, Lik!"
"What you yelling for? I'm right here." He said and I opened my eyes back up.
"How are they gone get home?"
"I'll take Ximena home." Khalil stated standing up.
"And Milan?"
"I'll take her."
"No." Talia rolled her eyes. "Why you gotta take the bitch home?"
"Excuse me? Bitch? Yeah." I started laughing. She might wanna watch who she calling a bitch.
"She drunk, Lia. You acting like yo' ass ain't gone be in the car."
"You know what? I got it. I'll t-take myself home."
"No!" Ximena yelled still crying.
"I'll take her home."
"You so damn friendly like why you wanna take her home, Duke? You so aggy. You flirting with the girl in front of me, looking at her ass as if I'm not there."
"I'm just tryna see why you calling me out my name though? How you gone get mad at me because yo' nigga friendly? And bitch I-I didn't even know the nigga you was yours."
"Because bitch why you flirting?"
"Me? Flirting? Girl wasn't nobody flirting with yo' nigga. You wanna fight? We can fight." I began popping my nails off.
"Oh my gosh! No!" Ximena cried falling out in Khalil's arm.
"Talia chill yo' ass out. We ain't even together. We been broke up, been done." Duke shook his head.
"Control yo' bitch, Duke." I told him before walking away and out the party. Now I was definitely ready to go home. I looked around trying to find my car, but every time I walked I felt myself get more dizzy.
"Yo'!" Honor picked me up bridal style. "Where yo' car?"
"Um, right there." I pointed giving him my keys so he could unlock the door. He opened the passenger door and put me inside, putting the seatbelt on before getting in the driver's seat.
"What's yo' address?"
I grabbed his phone and put my address in.
I stayed up the entire time making sure he wasn't on no kidnapping shit. I really feared being kidnapped for real. Thankfully it didn't take long getting there and when we arrived, he carried me to my apartment, unlocking the door, and carrying me to bed. He sat my keys down on the nightstand before leaving out.
a/n;
yall... i done rewrote this chapter a good 4 times. and i can finally say this is good. im already liking this story and i know how i want this to go.
yall like it?
thoughts on talia?
- bitches be delusional.
don't forget to vote!