This chapter is dedicated to babysofia1234, with thanks for all your support!
"Time to wake up, babies!" Mum's voice jolted me out of what had been a pretty pleasant dream. I wondered why she was shouting, and then glanced across to my clock. After a second of confusion, I was awake enough to realise that today was the first day back at school, and that I'd somehow forgotten to set my alarm last night. I scrambled out of bed, managed to tangle my legs in the sheets, and barely avoided falling down in my haste. I automatically checked my diaper as well, before remembering that I wasn't wearing one today. Back to being a big girl now; and somehow I missed the freedom of not having to make choices.
I dressed quickly enough, and ran downstairs for breakfast. Lindy was already at the table, smarter than I'd ever seen her. Of course, it was her first day at a new school. She must be so nervous, and she wanted to impress her new friends. Then I looked down at the table and gave a little laugh. No croissants, pancakes, or hash browns today. We were all having one of the kits cereals with brightly-coloured bits of crispy candy in. A little reminder, that was just perfect to perk me up.
"All ready for a new year of school?" Mum asked, and we both nodded. "Ready to be good today?" We both nodded, looking forward to the day ahead.
"Was Lindy good yesterday?" Mum asked me with a smile. "Gotten over the behaviour of summer at last?" I was going to say that I was glad to have the cheeky-but-considerate side of my sister back at last. But Lindy answered for herself before I could even open my mouth.
"She bullied me! She said the trigger word in front of Meghan and Niall!"
Mum looked at me, and raised an eyebrow. I couldn't read her expression right then. Had I crossed a line by using the trigger in public? Or had she been expecting me to stay home to do the whole babysitter thing?
"They came to watch me play," I said, hoping that was a good enough justification for going out. "All the school basketball players in the counties come together at the park on the last day of summer. To challenge their traditional rivals, see who's the best, and meet the rising talent from other areas. Hugo invited me and Nadine."
"That sounds like fun. But you had to punish your sister? Should I ask what she did to deserve it, or do you consider the matter settled?"
"I didn't do anything! Moooooom!" Lindy protested.
"It's not a big deal," I said. "Nadine finally realised that I'm getting better at basketball, and it's not just an excuse to see Hugo. And she wanted to try playing too, so we had me and Marco playing her and Hugo. And some spectators suggested we should have a bet... and somebody got a chant started, saying if I lose I have to tell him my biggest secret."
"Hey, that wasn't me!" Lindy protested. "It was Meghan's idea. Niall's neighbour, I ran into them there. 'Cause Hugo embarrassed her brother with that. She was hoping he'd lose this time, I mean, Marco's been scouted by a pro team, right?" She hesitated, and I knew before she said it that there would be more: "I just encouraged her to say it a bit. I mean, it's an interesting bet, right? Just to motivate you."
"And?" Mum said, staring down at Lindy in a very serious way. "Now, if it's just that, I wouldn't expect Sally to publicly humiliate you. But considering all the things you did or attempted over the summer, I wouldn't say it's excessive. I told Sally that she is free to use those triggers however she sees fit, if she wants a little revenge. And I notice you didn't mention which trigger she used, but as I haven't noticed any additional laundry, I know it isn't either of the ones you were hoping I would assume. And I also think that Sally is quite willing to forgive your summer madness, so I can't imagine her doing anything to embarrass you without a good reason. What are you missing out, dear?"
"I... uhh..." she started. "She told Hugo a secret, but it wasn't the big one. That's like cheating, right? So I might have... you know... shouted out what she should have told him. But she interrupted before I could say it, so it's not like I really..."
"Let me guess," Mum said with a smile. "The babble trigger, taking away your ability to continue pushing boundaries?"
"Yeah... but..." Lindy mumbled, seeing how little sympathy she was going to get for her behaviour. She knew that she was in the wrong this time, but she just hadn't been able to resist pushing me. "Niall was coming over, and I had to act like I was too tongue-tied to speak for a minute so she wouldn't hear me babbling like a baby. That's so embarrassing!"
"Well, it sounds like Sally is a lot more forgiving than I would be," Mum said firmly. "You deliberately tried to humiliate her in front of a crowd of friends; and her response is to embarrass you in a way that you were able to hide from the person you cared about. That's very generous of her. Would you have been so lenient?"
"No," she pouted, and looked down. I could see that she was expecting more punishment now. And a little part of me couldn't stop wondering if she actually wanted it. Was she hoping I would humiliate her? And how could I find that out, if she clearly didn't want to ask for it?
"Well then. How about you stop shooting yourself in the foot, young lady? It's your first day at a new school today, so you should try extra hard to show us that you're a big girl with some sense of responsibility. Understood?"
"Mom! I'm not a baby!"
"Maybe not. But if you can't listen, then Sally is still your babysitter. Be good for her. Understand?"
"That's not fair! She could make me crap my pants in front of my friends or something!"
"Then you'd best stop trying to upset her, hadn't you?"
Lindy stammered and spluttered, but she didn't have a coherent argument to put forward against that. And when I thought back to that conversation while I was getting my stuff ready for school, I thought that I might be able to see Mum's intentions. The point there wasn't to embarrass Lindy any more, but to show her that she would no longer be able to get her own way by begging Mum to intercede. Lindy had shown that her accusations couldn't be trusted, so Mum was showing that she didn't trust her. And at the same time, she was making it very clear that I was allowed to do whatever I wanted to my sister in response to her antics over the summer months.
I hoped she would understand that. She would know that if I treated her fairly, I was trying to demonstrate the right way to treat your sister. If she knew that I could easily have humiliated her, then she would have to understand that my self-control actually meant something. I still wished I'd shown a little more restraint yesterday, but I could tell myself now that I was trying to teach Lindy something; and that my response hadn't been driven by some craving for revenge.
There was a gentle tap on my door, and I hurried over to open it. It was Mum, checking on me while Lindy was triple-checking her appearance in her own room.
"You okay, Sally?" she asked.
"Yeah. And I think Lindy knows what she's doing now. I was a bit too mean to her yesterday, I think. But I hope she won't try something like that again."
"I expect so," she said. "I told her that she's at your mercy at school, but I would hope the possibility is enough to keep her in line. She knows she shouldn't be using everything that happened this year against you, and I don't think she'd be dumb enough to push too hard in the circumstances."
"I'd agree," I said. "I don't want to upset her. I just want to know that she's... well... She got me wondering, with what she said yesterday. Do you think maybe she wants to be babied? I mean, it could be that she kept pushing more and more because she wanted to be punished. Then letting her get away with everything might... Could that just have made her more determined, trying to find the point where she gets in trouble?"
"I didn't think about that," Mum said. "But I think if it's true, she's a lot better at hiding her feelings than you are. You couldn't stop smiling whenever I pushed you. No, I don't think this is something she wants. But if you think it might be, you should do what feels right to you. If Lindy wants to tell me the truth she will."
"Yeah..." I mumbled. "It's just she... Some of the words she uses, like 'adult baby' and stuff, she talks like that's a real thing. And it made me think she knows more about this stuff than I do. Why would she be looking for that, if not... And she said there was a book about sibling rivalry, but that doesn't seem like something you'd draw a connection to unless it's... I mean, it doesn't sound right. There's something she's not telling us. But I can't even guess what it is."
"And I've got no idea, this time. That whole thing about the book, I have no idea. It isn't anything she's checked out of the library this year, I can tell you that much. I honestly don't know what she's trying to tell us there. But for now we'd better just take what she says at face value, I think. If she wants something else, I'm sure you'll find a way to ask her."
"Right," I said with a smile. I was pretty much ready to go then, which was a good thing as we were already cutting it close. By the time Lindy had put her hair up again, we were only just going to be on time for school. But I was happy to see the new girl, Niall, waiting just outside the gates. Whatever they had talked about yesterday, it looked like Lindy had taken a step closer to what she wanted. She glanced nervously at me as they came closer to the gates, but I decided to give them their space. This was a whole new chapter in their lives, and I only wanted the best for my little sister now.