"Ma!"
I whined, sniffling and holding my head. The pain from last night stilled but a heaviness was present.
"Shona you have been sick since last night. I told you not to skip meals. You will faint beta."
Ma said, taking another spoon of khichdi. My health will go down if the weather suddenly changes.
(Shona is an endearment most Bengali parents/closer one does.)
I had skipped dinner and thought it would get better but this morning it worsened. Ma finished feeding me and made me take those pills to distaste my tongue.
Yesterday after the Henna ceremony I was feeling tedious. But guess what, that didn't stop me from stalking him, where the worst was yet to happen.
A post was enough to sow the seeds of suspicion. I spent most of my night thinking about his four-year earlier posts. He doesn't have many photos. But a photo of him and a pretty tanned model-like woman crunched my stomach. He seems pretty close. The close intimacy didn't feel right. Not that I mind but I pushed back those unusual 'What ifs' of my thoughts. It was obvious he could have friends, but most of the time he preferred to stay out of the county.
Why? Was he hiding his secret family there? Did he secretly target me to finish?
Okay, that's getting nowhere.
Shaking my thoughts off of my head I forced on Ma's oil massaging. A sank more in her hands. I swear these two hands are worth everything. They just spelled the cast. I moaned and the oil was cooling my head off. Ma left and Ishita peeked through the door of my room.
I started getting more relaxed as Ma was messaging my head. I swear she can spell cast.
"Are you feeling any good Shen?"
Ishita asked me to take a seat beside the foot of the bed. She yawned, leaning on her elbows. She was with me last night while I was groaning in pain.
"Much better."
I moved left to make a place for her and patted space. She smiled lying near me and heaved a breath. We joined our hips in fifth grade, my partner in crime. Sometimes she behaves like mom.
"It's not feeling right."
She abruptly blurted out shaking her head like she was contemplating. I was taken aback and equally confused. Pinning her with my gaze but her eyes were closed as if she was not ready to share the thoughts overbearing in her mind.
"Ishi?"
She hummed. I nibbled my lips, I don't doubt my best friend. She might have been thinking about the girl he had visualized recently as his girlfriend through sources and gossip.
"Just so you know I'm not doubting him over those long-ass news portals. Either he had to marry you or manage to get a few broken bones. But I can't just undo the dislike."
She grumbled, showing off her masochist persona.
"He wasn't even there for you in his own fucking engagement that's fucking red signal. You know we can run away and can settle in Antarctica."
She exclaimed, throwing off her hands. I jabbed my elbow in her stomach to bring her attention to me.
"And I can store your dead cold body in ice too."
"Then why not kidnap him and send him there?"
She pondered with a smug look. I swear she is the most underrated villain in real time.
"Meh! You are welcome to go to jail."
I said stretching my hands and cracking knuckles, regardless of what my best friend threatened. She can be pretty obnoxious.
"I'm shitting over the article where they say he was in a very serious relationship with his ex. I swear I will kill him if that guy is thinking of me as a rebound."
I'm not ready to believe those articles, I have no right to characterize and judge by a few headlines and pictures. But a fear crept in me, he didn't confirm anything but their pictures and captions say otherwise.
"Count me in."
She radiated from beside. This girl and violence are like the other half. I rolled my tongue against the inside of my cheeks.
"Do you think I'm silly to be terrified of this whole thing?"
The way my heart sped up was no state of normalcy. But the whole thing messed with my brain. First, my father then the whole family acted like I wasn't with them. I was hurt at first but Papa tried to reason how nice Advik is.
Sorry, not convinced.
"No, I think you are being reasonable for the first time in your life."
I rolled my eyes.
"We don't choose to love Shen. But it's good if we make an effort to guard our hearts. First heartbreak leaves scars. Love dies faster than it grows."
There's a myriad of emotions in her voice. She wasn't apparently talking about me. She probably didn't move on, not thoroughly and I supported her. Maybe someday she will.
"Is that why you let Hridey go?"
I tentatively asked. We don't talk about him.
It came out randomly. I shouldn't have slipped it out.
"He was in love all along with his best friend. I was a distraction."
My heart was wrenched almost painfully. I was there with her that time when she had her first breakup. It took her a lot of time to get to live without him.
Their love story started uniquely. Unique starts don't get unique ends. Maybe it does but in a much worse way.
"Does that always take a sight? Isn't it stupid I mean?"
"Sometimes yes but sometimes no if we ignore the spark."
"Spark?"
I ponder. What would it feel like? Probably like swallowing medicines. I never wanted to date someone from my college. I was into men more than any boys. A few boys I dated didn't even interest me.
"Yeah. Love is a sense of hope and longing for more."
Was she talking in a foreign language? I scratched my head and scowled. Can we go back and repeat?
"Longing?"
She rolled her eyes, huffing a breath and facing me with an irked expression.
"God Nina, Don't repeat every word I say!"
She chided, crossing her arms on her chest.
"So you like him?"
I scoffed and glared.
"He is a looker, a great one and I happen to admire his physique. But trust me that's what I feel about every half-naked man I see on IG reels."
I reasoned out putting in a lot of effort to make her believe.
"Yeah fool me, Shen."
"Nope, that's what biology says."
I ignored her grumbles as I was giving her a lecture about the biology theory of in and out. It always starts with push and pull. In and out. Right? she screamed into her pillows and rolled her eyes.
"He didn't even bother to meet me. What does he think? I am desperate for him?"
"The guy is old enough to make his choices. He is ruthless and would take shit from anyone. And about him thinking of you... I see only you banging your head."
She said scooting away from me and turning her back towards me. Does she think she can get away with insulting me? Not that easy. Yet I need her to talk with me.
"He is calm and collected yet shady."
I said moving close to her, not ready to end this. I need assurance. Unfortunately, best friends can give that.
"Nah, He is calm and genuine but in business, he can be both collected and entitled enigmatic for his shady mind. Very calculated person I will say."
She exclaimed. I was trying to be more observant.
First of all, she was complimenting him? Over me? She never admired me like that. I slid that down.
"You talk like you checked him out by yourself."
"Maybe I did. I can't let my best friend jump in the deep end though she is a dumb and clueless bitch with lots of baggage."
I rolled my eyes.
"He backlisted a guard for selling his family contexts and private pictures. He even made them erase within hours and threatened those reporters. He is livid."
"He is an instinctively protective dude!"
She grumbled menacingly, glaring at me. I nonchalantly shrugged.
"I gave you a place to sleep in my bed, be grateful."
"As if all those guest rooms were robbed away."
She retorted sassily and I watched her closing her eyes like she would drift away in no minutes.
Now when I was silent she opened her eyes and looked at me suspiciously. I cocked my brow in a questioning glare.
"What's up with your investigation?"
"I just saw a few articles."
A look of disbelief washed on her face and was replaced with amusement as she
"Since when did you start to believe them?"
"Nothing wrong with that."
She chuckled shaking her head before muttering something like 'Already whipped'
"Marriage always terrified me, Augh!"
"Say less."
The stress from earlier abated somehow after talking about it with her.
"Anyway, he is a lucky bastard to get a chance to marry my best friend. Don't say something gibberish now. You are the best achievement of someone's life."
I giggled as she blew raspberries on my face. Anytime I think of losing myself she is the way I see to get back.
We had joined our hips in kindergarten. We weren't even friends then. She accidentally inked in my dress and child Nina was sensitive that she burst out crying. I remembered calling my Ma and complaining about the bad girl who now became my best friend.
"I would have fallen in love with you if you had said those little earlier."
I batted my eyelashes smiling ear to ear. She clicked her tongue and a look of pride grazed on her face. Damn.
"That's why I didn't. I love you but if you don't shut your mouth I will be forced to close your mouth with duct tape."
I eyed her up to down and looked away dismissively. She attempted to kick me but missed out.
"How generous of you!"
"Why thank you."
After a nap, I took a long shower and got up to grab lunch with my family. Gosh, I'm not ready to face Bua. I wore a short kurta pant set. I wandered down steps as my bua pushed a chair and settled down. I greeted everyone and shot her a quick tight-lipped smile.
"Looking well, homebody."
Hearing the voice my face lit up as he approached and I hugged him. I ignored the look Bua gave me when I smiled and hugged him. My brother-in-law Kabir is practically a big brother to me. My younger brother Sahil bro hugged and shook his hand.
Papa and Kabir had been business partners for a long time, he met my sister through one of the meetings she was presenting and they knew they would hit it off and then they ended up being together. He was an inhabitant of California and after their marriage, my sister moved there too.
My two-year-old niece Sera jumped in his embrace calling him out loud. He caught her as my sister trailed behind scolding her to not jump and run like this but the father-daughter started talking ignoring her.
Scraping back the chair I sat down taking out a platter. Papa sat down asking Jiju about his business trip and a phone call interrupted the environment. Taking the call my father was silent for a second and the usual gentleness drained from his face.
He shot a look at Kabir and Father got up from his chair. Ma, who sat beside him, was looking at my father as if waiting for him to spill.
He removed his phone from his ear and said something we didn't expect.
"Mr. and Mrs. Malhotra got into an accident."
My ears rang and I looked at my father to register if I heard right.
The atmosphere changed. Silence everywhere. I blinked and the first sound I heard was my mom's shocked gasp.
She froze in place and I was shaken, already lost my appetite. How? Two days ago she was laughing and cracking jokes with us.
"How could that happen?"
Ma murmured letting out a shaky breath. My sister rubbed her back. She was looking pale as if she had seen a ghost already. Mansi Malhotra was close to my mother. In every pooja and festival, she was with us like family.
Leaving the rest of the food he declared he is leaving for the hospital with Jiju. I hurriedly stood and scurried away.
"Papa, take me?"
I rasped, getting breathless. My Mother in Law Mrs. Malhotra is a sweet lady. I have known her for a decade. She had a gratified nature and I admired her from the moment I met her. She adored me like her daughter. The woman doesn't deserve this. Moreover, I was shaken up thinking about how he was feeling. I can't imagine seeing both of my parents like this. Everything went terribly wrong.
"It wouldn't be nice if the bride leave like this."
Bua butted in giving a disapproving nod.
I glanced at Ma but she was devastated. She needs me. Maybe I should stay at home. I silently agreed with Bua's words.
"Advik needs support, maybe she should go there."
My sister came forward and I smiled and breathed in relief. Advik's brother was out of town and his sister-in-law is eight months pregnant. I assumed he was alone. My father agreed.
"Okay, we shall be leaving."
I rushed away to get my phone and followed them outside already in the car.
I was getting nervous and clammy. He wasn't interested in meeting me but now it's most likely we are forced to meet. Within half an hour we reached my throat went dry. The smell of the hospital and a running nurse past me played the worst scenario in my mind. I shook off and forced myself to not zone out.
The receptionist told us the room number and reached, waiting until the doctor came out from the operating room.
I nibbled my lips and rubbed the back of my neck to soothe myself. But it was no use. A drop of sweat trickled down my forehead. I wiped it away and gulped loudly.
To distract myself I looked around to observe the room and cursed myself inwardly for him.
My initial steps were to evade him. I spotted him sitting there with his head down with a defeated look all over his face. A man similarly of his age sat with him. My heart clenched painfully and for the first time in my life, I found myself completely oblivious and befuddled. At least he was not alone.
Maybe if we had known before I would have gone to console him. The situation got a lot messier than it was.
I skimmed down my dress but my hand stopped midway. My breath hitched. I saw a glimpse of his face. The raw emotion of fear and anguish was all I saw on his face. No hard stoic expression. The man beside him said something and he silently responded.
The perfect man of merciless multi-millionaire complexion was gone, replaced by a man who needs mental support, he is looking vulnerable, with bloodshot eyes, a crumpled shirt, creased pants, and tousled hair. Disheveled look and sleeves rolled up. He is having a painful-silent breakdown. I shuddered seeing splatters of blood around his rolled sleeves. I looked away from him and wrapped my arms around myself. Rubbing my forehead and placing another hand on my heart pacing for a marathon.
I took a step forward. As he sensed and lifted his head, I briskly looked away, withdrawing my step and avoiding any movement to catch his sight.
Jiju noticed my discomfort and he rubbed my back. I meekly said thank you. He then took a seat near Advik and said something. Advik weakly nodded. I averted my gaze and stared straight into space.
The smell of hospital and blood in his shirt ran through my mind. I closed my eyes.
When I opened it, Advik was already looking at me. With a look of,
an uncertain fragile longing.
AN: I'm obsessed with Murtasim Khan.
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Love you all❤️
-PN