#OLAPlayPretend
Chapter 39
Cousin-in-law
Charles invited me to a coffee shop downstairs after he finished his brief meeting with Mrs. Legaspi. Nagpaalam ako bago sumama sa kanya. Magla-lunch na rin naman kaya naisip kong ayos lang din.
Tahimik sa coffee shop at wala gaanong tao dahil nagtatrabaho pa ang mga empleyado sa building. Nagiging crowded lang ito kapag uwian na kapag naiisipang dito magpalipas oras ng mga empleyado ng BPO companies na malapit.
Huminto kay Charles ang titig ko habang pinapanood siyang naghihintay ng inumin at pagkain namin sa counter. Nahuli ko ang pasulyap-sulyap na babaeng barista sa kanya. Nangiti ako at umiling saka bumuntonghininga.
I couldn't believe that we would actually meet years later at dito pa sa DVH. After graduating, wala na akong narinig tungkol sa kanya. We didn't keep in touch. Pareho kaming naging abala.
Pagbalik ni Charles sa lamesa, galing sa counter, dala-dala niya ang inorder na inumin at pastry. Hindi na niya tinanong ang order ko, and he immediately ordered an iced latte for me with extra vanilla. Kasama no'n ay ang sugar glaze donut. Iyon ang ino-order ko noong nagda-date pa kami, and I couldn't help but be amazed that he still remembered, lalo na't ilang taon na ang nagdaan.
"I hope you still like these... Hindi na kita natanong," bungad niya nang makaupo sa harap ko.
Ngumiti ako habang tumatango. "Thank you," sabi ko. "Kainin ko na lang 'yung donut pagkatapos ko mag-lunch. Baka mabusog ako agad."
Charles pursed his lips and nodded. "Sorry. Hindi ko naisip na magla-lunch na nga pala. Dapat pala sa cafeteria na tayo dumiretso."
"Ayos lang. Salamat ulit. Ako dapat ang nanlilibre sa 'yo. Kakasahod ko lang." Sinubukan kong magbiro para gumaang ang tensyon sa pagitan namin.
We didn't end our mutual relationship on a bad note. We even had closure. Nakapag-usap kami nang maayos bago naisip na kailangan na naming itigil ang relasyon. We stayed as friends kahit na walang communication dahil busy na sa kanya-kanyang buhay.
Pareho kaming mataas ang pangarap. Our main priority was our studies. Gusto naming gumanda ang buhay ng pamilya namin. We were both raised by our single mothers. Only child din siya. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit mabilis kaming nagkaintindihan. We had a lot of similarities. We connected so easily na hindi namin magawa sa ibang tao.
However, the reasons that made us like each other were also the ones that triggered us to end our relationship. We didn't make anything about us official. We kept everything gray and blurry. Ayaw namin kahit na gusto namin ang isa't isa.
That time, we thought having a relationship was a burden — a thing that pulled us down from aiming high. Dahil hindi nga iyon ang prayoridad namin, we settled for having a mutual understanding. We were content with knowing that we liked each other. We acknowledged our feelings. Iyon lang ang kaya naming ibigay sa isa't isa.
Kaya lang, naisip din naming kalaunan na parang naglolokohan lang kami. We rarely went on dates that you would actually consider a date. Madalas sa library o kahit saan sa loob ng campus. Feeling namin basta magkasama kami, date na 'yon. Kapag pumupunta naman sa coffee shop, nag-aaral lang din o gumagawa ng papers. Kaya kapag nag-uusap kami, tungkol lang din halos lahat sa pag-aaral. We were more like study buddies than a couple.
"Ikaw ang nagbayad sa huling date natin noon kaya ako naman ngayon," sabi niya.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Seryoso ba siya? He must be bluffing!
"Gano'n ba?" Natawa ako at sinakyan na lang siya. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Hindi ko na maalala. Sorry, pero thank you ulit."
When we were dating, dahil pareho kaming may kaya lang sa buhay, we took turns paying the bill. Kahit simpleng pagbili lang 'yan ng siomai, shawarma, o rice-in-a-box sa food court sa school.
"That's fine. Ilang taon na rin naman ang lumipas," sabi niya.
I awkwardly nodded and sipped on my coffee. Ang totoo niyan ay hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin. I was glad to meet him again, but I also felt uncomfortable having a casual conversation.
"Are you new here? Sa DVH?" tanong niya nang napansing natahimik ako.
"Uhm, parang oo na hindi..." magulo kong sagot. "Simula pagka-graduate, dito na 'ko nagtrabaho. Nag-resign ako ilang buwan na nakakalipas tapos bumalik lang ako. Medyo magulo... pero ikaw ba? Matagal ka na ba rito? Parang ngayon lang kita nakita."
Umiling siya. "Three months or so," sagot niya. "I transferred from another company. Ni-recommend ako ng kaibigan ko na dating head ng marketing na nag-migrate sa Canada. I took over his post. Malaki ang offer nila kaya kahit gusto kong manatili sa dating kong kompanya, I decided to give it a go. I also thought it was time for me to be in a new environment. I want to explore and learn more."
"Kaya pala hindi kita nakikita noon..." sabi ko at tipid na ngumiti. "I'm happy to know na malayo na ang narating ng career mo. At kumusta nga pala si Tita? Are you in a relationship or are you married?"
"Mom's fine," he answered. "And I'm not married yet."
Kung sabagay, bata pa naman talaga kami. Maaga lang ako nag-asawa.
"Girlfriend?"
Muling umiling si Charles.
Doon na ako hindi makapaniwala. A man with good looks and a stable career is missing a girlfriend. Hindi ko maiwasang maihalintulad siya kay Xaiver, lalo na't parehas silang mukhang wala sa isip ang pakikipagrelasyon. It was until he decided to marry me, of course.
"Talaga? Parang ang hirap paniwalaan!" natatawa kong sabi.
"I didn't have any girlfriend after you."
Mabilis kong tinikom ang labi sa idinagdag niya. His words sat uncomfortably in my stomach. How should I reply to that?
"I was busy building my career, trying to win a promotion every opportunity I got, and making life better for me and my mom," he continued, making me forget how he started it.
"And now it paid off?"
Tumango siya at sumilay ang maliit na ngiti sa labi. "It did."
I'm proud of him. As someone who has seen his struggles before reaching this point in his life, I can't help feeling nothing but genuine happiness for him. Masayang-masaya ako na natupad niya ang mga pangarap niya.
Malayo pa ako sa mga narating niya. I didn't want to compare pero kusa iyong pumasok sa isipan ko. Sabay kaming nangarap pero mas nauna siyang marating 'yon. Aside from surviving being the secretary of the CEO for Xaiver for three years, getting a new job, and marrying the love of my life, I couldn't proudly say that I'm already successful.
I'm still lacking individually. And I'm not trying to throw a pity party, but that's just how I genuinely feel about myself. On a brighter note, it made me more determined to reach new heights in my career.
"Enough about me." Nakuha ulit ni Charles ang atensyon ko nang umayos siya ng upo at nagsalita. "How's life? Kumusta rin si Tita?"
"Ayon... Nagda-dialysis pa rin siya at maintenance, pero ayos naman siya," sabi ko. "At ito... kakasimula ko lang ulit sa DVH."
"Sabi mo dati ka na nagtatrabaho rito."
Tumango ako.
"Why did you resign?" he asked, curious and worried. "Hindi ka ba nabigyan ng promotion sa loob ng three years? Ano ba ang trabaho mo noon? Did you just get reinstated?"
"Uhm, iba ang trabaho ko. Wala namang promotion sa trabaho ko noon, pero ayos ang sahod pati na rin ang benefits. Medyo stressful pero nakakapag-travel din ako lagi."
Bahagyang napakunot ang noo ni Charles. "So your job was?"
"Personal secretary ni Mr. Dela Vega..." sagot ko sa isang maliit na boses.
Charles' lips parted as his eyes slightly widened. He didn't expect me to be the secretary of the CEO, I guess? O baka naisip na niyang ako ang napangasawa ni Xaiver!
When he asked me about my life, I figured he didn't have the slightest idea that I'm married to Xaiver. Kahit na parang hindi kapani-paniwala, hindi na rin ako nagtaka. Dati pa siya walang pakialam sa buhay ng iba. He's so good at minding his own business. He also didn't have time to care about the affairs of other people. Naka-focus lang siya sa sarili niya, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
"You were his personal secretary?" ulit niya.
Tumango ako at natawa sa reaksyon niya.
"And..." Itinaas ko ang aking kaliwang kamay upang makita niya ang mga suot na singsing. "I'm also married now."
There was a long stretch of silence between us. His expression didn't change as if he had frozen. Nanatili akong nakangiti sa kanya, despite his reaction. Ibinaba ko ang aking kamay at ilang segundo pa ang lumipas bago siya nakabawi.
"Is it true?" He was still in disbelief.
"Mukha ba akong nagsisinungaling?" Natawa ako. "Kailan lang din. I got married two months ago."
Napalunok siya. I saw his Adam's apple move exaggeratedly. Umayos siya ng upo. Magkasalubong pa rin ang mga kilay na tila hindi naiintindihan ang sinasabi ko.
"W-why?" Charles eventually asked when he raised his gaze to me again.
I could sense desperation and frustration in his eyes, which caught me off guard. It was probably the first time I saw him lost. Nangapa ako ng isasagot. Kahit ang mismong tanong niya ay nagpabigla sa akin.
Why would he ask me that? Bakit parang hindi siya masaya para sa akin?
"Ha?" I couldn't construct a proper answer upon seeing his reaction.
"Naalala mo ba 'yung mga pinangako natin sa sarili natin?" tanong niya.
Nawala na ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. I tried recalling every promise we made. Madami 'yon at halos lahat nang 'yon ay hindi namin natupad. Halos lahat ay nabali noong nagdesisyon kaming maghiwalay at mag-focus sa kanya-kanyang buhay.
All that's left for us are broken promises... Most promises that I have already forgotten.
"We promised to achieve our dreams before settling down. Iyon ang priority natin bago ang ibang bagay, 'di ba?" Charles sounded more frustrated.
It almost seemed to me like I just made the biggest mistake of my life by getting married. He wasn't wrong, though. Talagang pinangako ko 'yon sa sarili at ganoon din siya. That was my view of life. Wala nang mas importante sa akin kung hindi ang maging successful sa buhay at hindi naman nagbabago ang pananaw ko ngayon.
"And that's what I'm doing, Charles," giit ko sa kanya.
That's why even when I'm married to arguably the most successful man in the country, I'm still determined to build my own career. Time didn't stop for me. I got even more eager. Kahit hindi man ako makaabot sa puwesto niya, but to simply have a stable career and life, that's all I need.
And I think that getting married doesn't equate to settling down. It means a lot more than just having a stable relationship with your partner. So I'm not yet settled down.
"But you're already married," he argued.
"At hindi ibig sabihin no'n na hindi ko na magagawa ang mga bagay na gusto kong gawin," paliwanag ko.
I wanted him to see that getting married didn't stop me from chasing my dreams. If anything, it only pushed me to work harder for the family I'm gonna build with Xaiver someday.
"I married a very supportive man," I told him proudly. "Even when he can provide for us on his own, hinayaan niya pa rin akong magtrabaho. Kahit na hindi ko itatangging medyo pahirapan din siyang mapapayag nung una. But he believes in me more than I believe in myself."
Unti-unti nagparte ang mga labi ni Charles. His shoulders also fell.
"If you're worried about me, I'm okay. I'm more than okay. Masaya ako," nagpatuloy ako at ngumiti sa kanya. "Now, as someone who's been special to me, I'm happy and proud to see you're also in a better place. And... thank you for not forgetting those promises we made. Na-appreciate ko 'yon, Charles."
Charles slowly nodded and eventually sighed. Mas lalo akong napangiti dahil alam kong naiintindihan niya na ako. Kahit noon pa man ay hindi siya naging mahirap kausap.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get so worked up earlier. Alam ko kung gaano ka naghirap at nagsumikap noon. I just don't want your efforts to go to waste," he explained, which I truly understood. "But if you're happy, that's all I want for you, too."
"Thank you." I genuinely smiled at him. This is the Charles I know.
"I hope we can stay friends, kahit na kasal ka na. We'll see each other very often at work. Hindi naman siguro magagalit ang asawa mo na kaibigan mo ako?" biro niya sa dulo. "I mean, kung kilala niya ako... I'm not sure if you've talked about me."
"Syempre, ayos lang 'yon. He knows. We're friends..." sabi ko na lang. "Hindi siya seloso."
Talaga ba, Chantal? Hindi seloso?
Hilaw akong natawa sa sarili lalo na nang biglang nakaramdam ng kaba. I remembered talking about Charles with Xaiver before. Naging big deal sa kanya noon na pareho ang unang tatlong letra ng pangalan namin. I could only imagine Xaiver's reaction once he learned about this meeting.
Medyo natakot ako para sa kaibigan. I wasn't sure if I should tell Xaiver that Charles was working under his company. Kilalang-kilala ko na si Xaiver. Kay Joseph pa lang ay kung ano-ano na ang naiisip niya. Kapag nalaman niyang nagkita ulit kami ni Charles at sa DVH din siya nagtatrabaho, I was afraid that he might have crazy ideas. Ayaw kong mawalan ng trabaho ang kaibigan o mahirapan sa mga gawain.
"Where did you meet your husband, by the way? Dito rin ba siya nagtatrabaho?" inosenteng tanong ni Charles.
My lips parted a bit. Mas lalo kong nakumpirmang talagang walang kaalam-alam si Charles kung sino ang pinakasalan ko. I thought he already had a hint when I told him I was Xaiver's secretary. Saang bundok ba siya nakatira?
I couldn't decide at first whether I should tell him Xaiver's my husband or not. Medyo nagtaka pa siya kung bakit ang tagal kong sumagot na kala mong pinag-iisipan ko pa kung saan nagtatrabaho ang asawa ko. I didn't want him to think I was lying.
"Uhm, dito rin siya—"
Just as I made up my mind to tell him the truth, Charles abruptly stood up. Diretsong-diretso ang tayo niya, looking courteous. A polite smile also crept onto his lips. Ibang-iba sa madalas niyang ekspresyon.
Bumilis at lumakas ang tambol ng aking puso. Natatakot lumingon. Para akong hihimatayin sa kaba dahil may ideya ako kung sino ang dumating at nakita niya. I prayed hard, hoping that it was just another member of the board. O kaya sana magulang na lang ni Xaiver.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Dela Vega."
The moment Charles dropped my husband's surname, I shut my eyes tightly. Hindi ako tumigil sa pagdasal na sana si Papa na lang 'yon, pero nang madinig ko ang baritonong bses ni Xaiver ay tuluyan na akong nawalan ng pag-asa.
"Afternoon..." Xaiver greeted him back languidly. Sa boses niya pa lang, alam kong hindi siya natutuwa sa nadatnan.
Nang mapansin ni Charles na hindi ako tumayo upang batiin ang pinaka-boss namin, sinipat niya ako. He wanted me to be polite and greet the Xaiver.
Bakit ngayon pa? Bakit ba siya bumaba sa coffee shop?
I licked my lips and slowly stood up. Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Xaiver. His eyes screamed a thousand questions that he couldn't spill at the moment. Madilim ang titig niya nang sinulyapan ulit si Charles bago muling ibinalik ang tingin sa akin.
"X-Xavi..." Hilaw akong ngumiti.
Tahimik si Xaiver. Hindi siya nagsalita pabalik. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin, and it had been so long since I last felt intimidated by him. Sa gilid ng aking mata, nakita kong napatayo nang maayos si Charles at nilingon ako dahil sa kaswal na pagbanggit ko ng palayaw ni Xaiver.
"Oh! It's my cousin-in-law!" Lumitaw si Knoa sa likod ni Xaiver. Sa natatawang boses pa lang ay alam kong wala siyang ibang gustong gawin kung hindi ang mang-inis.
Talaga ba? Pati si Knoa nandito? Sana kainin na lang ako ng lupa.
"Cousin-in-law?" Dinig kong bulong ni Charles sa gilid.
Napapikit ako nang mariin saka mabilis na pumunta sa tabi ni Xaiver. I took my rightful place as his wife and held his arm before facing my dear friend.
"Xavi, this is my friend, Charles," pakilala ko kay Xaiver at nadinig ko ang pagtikhim niya. Hindi ko 'yon pinansin at tinapos na ang pagpapakilala nila sa isa't isa. "Charles, si Xaiver nga pala ang asawa ko."
"And I'm Knoa, her cousin-in-law," singit ni Knoa na nagpakilala rin kay Charles at inabot pa ang kamay.
Muli akong napapikit sa bwisit na Knoa. Kung minamalas ka nga naman talaga oh!