Hanging out with Auster again, eating tacos and tacos like we used to every weekend made me glad we were friends again.
"I could eat these for the rest of my life!" I groan out, licking the sauce off my fingers, making Auster grin.
"I don't know about that, I don't know about you, but my mouth is still on fire." He cringed out, sitting back in his seat.
I couldn't help but laugh, I even asked if he was sure he wanted the flaming hot nacho to share with me and just like last time, he agreed and then regretted it as he started to complain he needed a jug of milk to wash it down with.
"So, why's it complicated?" Auster asks, as I hum out, looking at him.
"Damien Wilder, right?" My heart skipped a beat as he said his name. "I... and don't judge me, but I asked around about him and Sammy actually knows his brother Isaac."
I could do nothing but nod my head as I held my glass with both hands, staring at it as Auster paused for a moment, before speaking again.
"Pretty badass guy I'll say that, but other than that I don't think he's right for you Aelia."
"Why?" I said without thinking as my chest clenched painfully as I gripped the glass in my hand.
"Because he's older?" I looked at Auster as he shrugged, then sighed out.
"He's got a reputation Aelia, I just don't want you to get hurt, it's not because he's older."
Damien had a reputation? I guessed as much, I saw pictures of him from when he was my age and older, he was surrounded by girls in the photos as much as he was surround but guys, it should shock me, but all it did was hurt.
He wasn't mine, he was free to do what he wanted, and I had no right to get upset about something he did when I was just a child.
"I'm saying this as a guy, and from what I can see is that he's still messing around with other women, just this morning I saw him with a bunch of girls by-"
"Look." I interrupt him, not wanting to hear anymore. "I get it, just... can we not talk about him right now and just talk about something else?"
It hurt, even from Auster's mouth it stung more then I liked to admit, I was still pretty much halfway in love with Damien and hearing his name now made it all the harder to stop thinking about him.
"Your brother..." I paused. "Tell him thanks, for the bagels... and sorry for ignoring him last night."
"Oh." He rubbed his neck, embarrassed as he avoided my eyes. "I kind of told him what I said to you, he must have yelled at me for like two hours Friday night."
"I felt like shit the whole weekend, I wanted to see you, but Aaron said he'd check up on you for me." He smiled shyly. "I guess we both needed space to cool off."
"I don't know, I could've used a friend." I smiled sadly as I looked around outside the sitting area we currently sat at, next to the beach walk.
A comfortable silence fell on us as I looked out at the ocean and the kids playing with their parents near the shallow water, collecting colourful rocks making me smile at how nice it must be.
My childhood was nothing like this, I always wanted to go to the beach, but my foster parents all refused saying they hated sand and screaming children, and getting wet, so all I could do was watch.
Damien grew up in a loved household, his family were great and loving people, and his childhood was filled with happy memories, I'm sure Auster's was just as exciting too, with loving parents and happy memories.
I wanted that life once upon a time, now all I want is to just live in the moment instead of looking back to the past, and thinking of what could have been if I was born to people who wanted me, who would love me.
Auster's phone buzzes and then he swears out, making me shift my eyes from the laughing children chasing each other to look at him, getting up from the bench.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry I forgot I had to pick up my mom from the next town over." He groaned out. "Throw me a text me later?"
I nodded my head and smiled. "Sure, say Hi to Julie for me." I say, as he grinned and put his bag over his shoulder.
"Laters." He said before he started jogging back the way we came, where he parked his car a block over.
I sat there on the bench for a few more minutes before I decided to just go home, after putting our trash away I started walking home, thinking about what I should make for dinner, or if I should just order pizza again.
Screw it, I'm just going to order food, I didn't feel like cooking at all.
I really just didn't feel like doing anything at all, not just cooking.
Would I feel like this forever? This empty feeling that felt like was slowly swallowing me whole into a black cloud, without anything I could do about it.
I had to wonder if it was because of Damien, and the heat he said I was going through, or just because of him, and what he was to me now, a 'mate'.
As I got closer to my apartment, I noticed a familiar black motorbike which made me pause and look up to my apartment, my heartbeat spiking as I then saw boots and then black jeans, then Damien walks down the stairs of my apartment building.
I could just hide, run away to avoid this, but he wasn't going away, and I couldn't just pretend what we didn't have felt real to me, I didn't want to feel this way anymore.
I continued walking and when he turned, he saw me, his dark eyes capturing mine in his as he paused slightly before walking over to me as I met him halfway, until we stood next to his bike.
"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, unable to look up at him and his intimidating eyes.
"I came to see you." He said deeply, his deep voice just as I remembered. "Can we just talk?"
He wanted to talk? What was there to say? And even if he told me everything, could I just sit there and believe everything he says? It was frustrating how I wanted to push him away but then a part of me couldn't.
"Why?" I asked tightly, raising my head to look at him.
Damien looked how I felt, and it was my first time seeing him so defeated and not his confident self, he looked like a boy as he stood in front of me, with his walls down and completely vulnerable.
"Why..." He sighed out, and rubbed his face, before his hard eyes found mine.
"Because I'm falling apart when you don't talk to me, or when you avoid me, I tried giving you space but I can't lose you Aelia, I rather be in your life as a friend then not at all, so just talk to me, even if it's just to scream at me, just don't avoid me anymore."
Damien's voice was braking as I saw his hand clench painfully tight around his keys as I tried to process Damien laying it all out on the table for me as he told me what I was feeling deep inside but didn't have the guts to say it to him.
We felt the same right now but only Damien was doing something about it when all I thought about was hiding, because I was scared.
I was terrified of his world, it was so foreign and a thing of fantasy, there was no self-help book to get me through this, I couldn't talk to anyone about this, I was sure nobody would even believe me if I told them.
I missed him, and I was so damn scared of everything.
"Aelia?" Damien stepped closer to me, and that's when I realized I was crying.
I couldn't make the tears stop, I just felt so overwhelmed by Damien and everything happening to me, I thought I had cried enough during the weekend but look at me now, a complete mess.
"S-Sorry." I rubbed my eyes, embarrassed I cried in front of him again.
Without warning, Damien put his arms around me and resting his hands on my back as he held me close to his chest, as he rubbed my back and whispered soft soothing words in my ear.
"I really hate making you cry." He said softly, his voice tickling my ear.
I could feel the heat coming off him in waves as I picked up the sound of his heart beating inside of his chest, I was sure it was mine until I touched his chest and realized that it was his beating loudly, and not mine.
Damien held me in his comfortable protective embrace as I cried into his chest for what felt like hours, until I calmed down and he lifted me up in his arms and carried me up the stairs to my apartment.
I only noticed when he let go of me that he had dropped flowers by the doorstep, filled with all kinds of different flowers, not one of them the same as the other as I admired how pretty they were, in a unique strange way.
"I didn't know which was your favourite, so I got you them all." He said, a I saw how nervous he was, looking at the flowers. "You can throw them away if you don't like them."
I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing as I smiled and thanked him as I opened my door, and as I stared at the flowers, I couldn't help but love them, I never had a favourite flower, but now I'm thinking all of them are my favourites.
They were so beautiful.
Damien must had put a lot of thought into getting them for me, I couldn't help but fall for him harder despite how nervous and afraid I still was of him, or what he was.
"I'll keep them... thank you." I said, smiling at him as he stared at me with an expression I couldn't read on his face before he closed the apartment door and walked into the room.
I don't think I owned a vase; this was the first time someone had bought and gave me flowers, I don't even remember getting any when I graduated school, or during a birthday.
I put them on the countertop and then started to get anxious because not only was Damien in my apartment, but he also wanted to talk, so I knew what was coming next.
"How..." I closed my eyes and couldn't believe I was going to ask him this. "How did you become a were...wolf."
His eyes swirled with amusement before his face turned stoic as he hummed out.
"Nobody becomes a werewolf, it's passed down through our genes, I wasn't bitten or cursed like in the movies, I was born like this."
Alright... so he was born like this, this made me feel a little more less anxious as I nodded my head.
"W-What about your family? Your brothers..." I asked as Damien leaned against my fridge and crossed his arms, staring at me.
"All werewolves, so is Ezra, Luke and Theo, we're all in the same pack." He said, as I tried to understand.
"What's a pack?" I asked, looking at him nervously.
"Think of it like a cohesive family, made up of multiple families all sharing the same ideal of living." He hummed out, as I scrunched my eyebrows confused.
"It's a system, like any organization, we look after and protect each other through that bond, and like any organization there are people are in charge, and those in charge are called Alpha Wolves."
I somewhat understood what he was saying, but it was all like a story from a fairy tale book that I still thought this was hard to wrap my head around and that he was still joking with me, but this was real, and this was the world he lived in every day.
"How... how many families are there?" I asked lowly. "And who... who is the Alpha in your pack?"
His eyes darkened as he uncrossed his arms and leaned off the fridge as he walked over to stand inches from me, his eyes on my long blonde hair before he reaches out and slowly touches the tips of my hair.
"There are fifty families in this pack, they live in or around this town... and the Alpha." He jaw clenched as his eyes went to mine.
"I was made Alpha of this pack at the age of twenty-seven."
Damien was... the Alpha? But what did that mean? I still had so many questions but no way of asking as they all sounded insane, this was insane, but his eyes tell me he's telling me the truth.
"I can't believe this." I laughed out, rubbing my forehead. "Werewolves exist and one is standing right in my kitchen."
"Totally crazy..."
It was almost hilarious if not for the fact I was mated to one, and to an Alpha, who I guess was protecting fifty families that could possibly up to thousands of people- or wolves he was protecting, from things I didn't know about.
"I know it's a lot to digest Aelia, and if I had my way I would have you live a life away from all this." He said as his hand gently touched and rested against my cheek as I looked up at him.
Damien was still so young to have all this responsibility on his shoulders, I never thought just how crazy his world was until now, it all seemed very complex from the way he described it.
"Is..." God I can't believe I had to ask this. "Is anyone I know also a werewolf?" I asked seriously as his eyes held mine, hardening as I kept eye contact with him.
"Yes."
I felt my stomach drop as I thought of everyone that I knew, wondering who it was, a part of me didn't want to know, but the more he told me about his world, the more I wanted to know.
"W-Who?"
"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked, his deep voice filling my quiet apartment as I nodded my head slowly, wanting to know more than anything.
"Tessa Darwin and recently we had Julie Morgan and her sons, Aaron Morgan and-"
"Auster... Morgan."
No... freaking... way.